


Last Home

by blackimpala



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bunker Fic, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff, Human Castiel, M/M, Season 8 Spoilers, Sleepless nights
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-27
Updated: 2013-12-30
Packaged: 2017-12-24 20:11:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 32
Words: 105,961
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/944147
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blackimpala/pseuds/blackimpala
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel comes back to the bunker to find Dean and Sam after being disappeared for almost a month, but Dean has a bit of trouble with having Cas back at first, but then, they start to get close.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> First of all, my mother tongue isn't English, so please, forgive me if I have some grammar mistakes or if some expressions aren't right. Also this is my first fic in English.  
> And finally, this could have spoilers because it happens before 8x23 and just the last thing I want to say, although it's marked as explicit, that content won't appear until the next chapters.  
> Hope you enjoy it!

Almost a month passed since the angels fell. Dean and Sam were in the bunker, with Kevin too. Sam was getting better from all the injuries from the trials, he seemed like he never got ill, something relieving for Dean.

They didn’t hear from Abaddon and from Crowley; the world was too quiet after the angel’s fall. Too quiet. No demons, no monsters, except one occasion related with a poltergeist that Sam and Dean took care of, but nothing else. It was like every supernatural being disappeared, or like they were hiding, or worst, waiting for something. Dean couldn’t stop thinking about it, and of course, he was thinking about Castiel, who was missing for almost a month.

Dean closed his eyes; he was in his bedroom, reading a book, sitting in his bed, with his back resting on the headboard of it. He couldn’t focus on the book. Once again, his thoughts about Cas were interrupting him. He didn’t know where the hell his friend was, he didn’t know what happened exactly. Maybe Cas was in heaven, or he was somewhere else, or dead… He shook his head with that thought. No, Cas had to be alive. He knew it, although something inside him told him otherwise. Cas always came back, he couldn’t be dead. He sighed and closed the book, leaving it on the bedside table, and then, he rubbed his face; he was really tired and he couldn’t sleep.

Dean was still angry with Cas, but he was worried about him. He called his name several times, but there wasn’t any answer. He even prayed to him, but once again, Cas didn’t answer him. He just wanted to know Cas was okay, or at least alive. That uncertainty was killing Dean. He was feeling kind of bad for all the complications that were between he and Cas since Cas got out from purgatory, but he just wanted to know that Cas was alive. He was afraid that something bad happened to him.

He looked at the clock. It was 3:06 AM, too late; it was time to get some sleep, or at least lie in bed and try to fall asleep. Sam and Kevin were sleeping already, maybe for two hours ago, or even more, but as usually, Dean stayed awake for longer, more than he wanted, but those thoughts didn’t let him fall asleep, so it was better to him to stay awake and read a book or watch a movie; something that could help him to throw those thoughts away for a while, until he felt a bit sleepy.

Dean was about to switch off the lamp, but he heard a noise. He didn’t move or make a sound for a moment, trying to figure out if he imagined the sound or not. The sound came back. It was like someone was knocking the door. He frowned. He got up from the bed and picked up a gun and followed the sound. Everything in the bunker was dark, except his bedroom, but Dean knew how to move himself in there with lights off, it’d been a long time since Sam and Dean arrived there and they knew every single part of the places they always were in, their own bedrooms, the library, the kitchen… Dean kept walking, approaching himself to the sound that came from the main door. Dean handed the gun, in order to be ready to shoot if what he found behind that door was something dangerous. He swallowed and opened the door as fast as he could, pointing the gun and the person who was standing there.

“Hello Dean—”Cas said.

Dean opened his eyes widely. Standing in front of him was Cas, looking quite similar as he looked when he got out from purgatory, but his clothes were now in better conditions than the last time. Cas had a beard, his eyes had circles and he seemed thinner than the last time he saw him.

“Cas—” Dean started to say, getting his gun down. “You are alive,” he looked at Cas, trying to believe that he was there.

“Dean, I—” but he could finish the sentence, he passed out. Dean threw his gun to the floor and held Cas.

“Cas! Cas! Hey!” he said as he slapped softly Cas’ face in order to wake him up. Cas reacted and opened his eyes, making Dean breath relieved.

“I’m sorry Dean; it’s been a long and exhausted journey”

“Yeah, I figure it out, man.” He looked at Cas’ blue eyes; they showed sadness and tiredness “C’mon, let’s get inside.” He grabbed one of his shoulders and walked together inside the bunker.

Cas rested his back on the wall while Dean closed the door and picked up from the floor the gun. Then, he switched on the lights. Cas half-closed his eyes, it was too much light for his now sensitive eyes. After walking for hours in the dark, that sudden amount of lights hurt him.

“You look awful” said Dean worried. Cas nodded.

“Things of being human…” Cas said sadly

“Wait, what?” Dean opened his eyes a lot. “You are human now?”

Cas nodded. He couldn’t even look at Dean. There was too much pain and guilt inside Cas. He didn’t even understand how Dean didn’t punch him when he saw him. Cas knew he deserved it, however, Dean was being so nice too him. Dean knew that Cas had a long and awful journey; he could tell just looking at Cas, so he knew that the last thing Cas needed was to hear Dean quarreling him.

“That’s why you look that awful” Dean sighed. Cas made a painful grin.

Dean wanted to ask him a lot of things, but Cas looked exhausted; it wasn’t the time for questions. That could wait.  
“You should take a shower and eat.” Dean suggested looking upset

“I think you are right.” Cas said opening his eyes slowly; it seemed that they were getting use to the light.

“Follow me”

Dean started to walk, followed by Cas, getting to the bathroom.

“You know how to take showers?” Dean wondered curious. Cas nodded. He was too tired to talk. “Okay, then I’ll leave you here. Just leave those dirty clothes in the sink and I’ll take them later to the washing machine. Meanwhile I’ll find you some clean clothes for you.” He explained looking at Cas.

“Thank you Dean” Cas said with a broken voice. Dean’s guts twisted with that voice.

Dean made a tired smile to show that Cas was welcome and left the bathroom to find some clothes for Cas. He closed his eyes for a moment before moving away from the bathroom’s door and breathed relieved; Cas was alive, Cas was there. He felt like a dagger got out of him. Then he walked to his bedroom.

Meanwhile, Cas was getting undressed and leaving the clothes in the sink. He moved the tap from the shower and got into. It was so nice to feel warm water after a long time. He closed his eyes and enjoyed the feeling of the water running along his body, taking away the dirt and the dust. Then he opened his eyes and looked for soap so he could get clean.  
During the time he spent looking how to get back to the bunker, Cas only had a chance to clean himself in rivers, he couldn’t pay a motel, so he had to sleep in forest or in parks. Luckily, he had with him some money; he took it when he went for supplies for Dean in order to apologize for everything, he picked a lot of money, and thanks to that, he could eat at least one time every day. It wasn’t the best, but at least, that money helped him to not die of starving. That’s why he was thinner.  
Cas tuned off the tap when he finished and got out from the shower, searching for a towel that he put around his waist. It was great to feel clean and warm. Every time he had to wash in the rivers he felt really cold. Also, being behind a ceiling it was great, it wasn’t cold anymore.

“Cas,” Dean said knocking the door. Cas opened the door and Dean looked away, thinking that Cas was naked. “Take.” Dean gave him a t-shirt, a trouser from a pyjama, boxers and a pair of sleepers.

“Thanks Dean” Cas thanked with a shy voice.

“Give me the dirty clothes” 

Cas went for them. Dean peered at Cas and blushed a bit; he never saw Cas’ shirtless, it was a bit weird for Dean. He looked away when Cas approached him with the clothes.

“Get dress and then come to the kitchen, you must be starving” Dean explained. Cas nodded.

Dean closed the door and let Cas get dressed in the bathroom. The clothes actually fit him pretty good, it was all Dean’s. Maybe the t-shirt was a bit bigger, but that was because Cas wasn’t as wide as Dean, but the rest fitted quite good.  
When he was dressed, he went to the kitchen, where Dean was making Cas a huge sandwich. He could find the kitchen perfectly because it was the only light on. Dean heard Cas arriving.

“Just sit down, it’ll be ready soon.” Dean said.

Cas sat down and looked at Dean, who was backward. Dean was being really nice with him, taking care of him. Cas believed that he deserved to being let down. Dean finished preparing the sandwich and gave it to Cas in a plate. Cas looked at Dean with glassy eyes.

“This is more than I deserve…” Cas said.

“Just shut up and eat, Cas” Dean said rolling his eyes; he didn’t want to hear all that crap in that moment. He sat down and looked how Cas ate.

Cas seemed to be enjoying that sandwich, and he really was. It was the first time in a lot of weeks that he ate something that good, something that wasn’t from a fast restaurant, something that tasted really good. “This is delicious Dean” Cas expressed amused.

Dean couldn’t help a smile. A sweet smile. “I’m glad you like it.”

There was a silence between them. Dean was looking at the table, wondering a lot of things and Cas was focused on the sandwich. They stayed like that until Cas finished eating. They felt weird. Less than a month passed since the last time they saw each other; Dean didn’t know what happened to Cas and he couldn’t believe that in that moment, Cas was sitting in front of him, eating.

“Thank you for that Dean. I really needed it” Cas thanked with shyness. Dean lifted his gaze.

“Why didn’t you come here sooner?” Dean asked. The question flew away from his mouth really fast. He couldn’t hold it more. 

Cas looked at him crushed and saw Dean’s broken face. “I couldn’t. I didn’t know where I was” Cas started to explain. He sighed “After Metatron took my grace—”

“Metatron took your grace?” Dean asked surprised. Cas nodded.

“It was the last thing he needed for the spell…” Cas’ voice was broken and he couldn’t look at Dean. Cas seemed so fragile.

“So you’ve been human since the angels fell?” Cas nodded. “How could you survive for these weeks?” Dean’s voice showed concern and surprise, but mostly concern.

“I had money with me, so I could eat once a time every day. I slept in parks or in a forest. It’s been hard. I took some buses to save some time walking to here.”

“Where were you?”

“Idaho”

“You’ve come from Idaho to here walking?!” Dean’s mouth opened wide. Cas nodded and looked at him. Dean couldn’t believe it.

“Well, not all the path, but most of it.” He took a deep breath. He remembered how long the journey was and how exhausted too. There were times where he felt like he wasn’t going to make it, but he wanted to find Dean; he didn’t have anywhere else to go.

“Wow.” Said Dean perplexed.

There was a silence. They wanted to say a lot of things, but they couldn’t. It was like after all that time they spent separated, the only thing they were able to do was to look at each other, trying to assimilate they were there, in front of each other, and then, they just looked down, trying to understand everything, wondering a lot of things, but they only stayed in silence.

“I guess you need some sleep” Dean observed. Cas nodded. Both sighed, but not at the same time. “C’mon” He got up and was followed by Cas.

There was a bedroom in the same hall as Dean’s, but there was some distance between both bedrooms. Dean opened the door and switched on the light; he went to the bed and opened it for Cas.

“I think there’s everything you need, sheets, pillow…” Dean said moving away from the bed, looking at Cas.

“It’s perfect.” Cas thanked as he approached the bed. Then he sat down. “Dean, I think I should explain you a lot of things—”

“You’ll do it later.” Dean interrupted. “You need to sleep. We’ll talk when you wake up.”

Cas nodded and sighed. “I don’t deserve your hospitality”

Dean sighed. “I’m still pissed off with you, but that doesn’t mean I’m going to let you die outside” explained tired. Cas made a soft and shy smile and looked down. “I’m not gonna lie to you, I’m really furious with you, but I’m happy to know that you are alive” Cas looked at him surprised. Dean blushed a little. “Just rest.”

Dean turned over, but before closing the door, Cas talked “Thank you for everything, Dean”

“Goodnight Cas” Dean said in a tired way.

“Goodnight Dean”

Dean closed the door and walked to his room, feeling relieved. Cas was there. Cas was alive. Cas walked thousands miles to get back to him. A smile appeared on his face. His friend was back. He still was angry with him, but Cas was there again.  
Cas, switched the lights off and lay in the bed. It was great to sleep in something that soft and comfortable. His back appreciated it, his whole body indeed. It was going to be the first night he was going to sleep in a bed. Finally, he made it to Dean.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here's the second chapter, enjoy it!

“From Idaho?!” Sam shouted.

“Sam, he’s still sleeping, don’t shout.” Dean quarreled.

Sam and Dean were having breakfast. They used to have breakfast together. Kevin usually got up sooner than them, so usually, Dean and Sam had breakfast together or by themselves. They liked to have breakfast together, it was great to have their own kitchen and being able to eat together and eat calmly, without having to go to any other place to eat because there was a charlady that had to clean the motel room, and also, they could talk freely about anything while they were having breakfast. That morning, they were having breakfast together, so Dean explained Sam what happened last night, everything that Cas told him.

“Oh God” Sam said unbelieving. “It had to be a very hard and tired journey for him.”

“Yeah. When he wakes up, you’ll see him. He looked pretty bad.” Dean said and sipped his coffee. “He looked like when he got out from purgatory, but thinner, paler and with purple circles around his eyes.”

“Well, at least he’s alive”

“Yeah, at least he is.” He took a deep breath. His voice showed that he was a bit annoyed, although he was relieved to know that his friend wasn’t dead.

“You are still angry with him.” Sam commented with a sad grin.

“Of course I am, he didn’t listen to me and he went to heaven and look what happened.” Dean snorted annoyed. “But at least he’s here now, and that’s good.” He sighed, alleviated.

“He didn’t tell you more?” Sam wondered curious as he chewed a piece of bacon. He wanted to know more about what happened to Cas, he was really worried about him too.

Dean shook his head. “He wanted, but I didn’t let him. He needed to rest.”

Sam moved his eyes to the door, where Cas just appeared. “Hey Cas!” Sam said really happy. Dean turned to see Cas too. He looked better than when he arrived last night, especially because the circles in his eyes weren’t as marked as when he arrived.

“Hello Sam” Cas greeted with a pretty smile. “You look better than the last time I saw you.” He was really happy about it, when he saw Sam the last time, he looked really awful because of the trials; Cas was so glad to see that his friend was fine.

“I wish I could tell you that too.”

Cas looked down, with a sad smile on his face.

“I thought you were gonna sleep all day.” Dean said looking at Cas from top to bottom. He tried to sound nice, although Dean was feeling a bit angry and also even a bit scared. But Cas needed to get better, and Dean would try to do as best as he could and leave his anger, his thoughts and his feelings apart, although it was going to be hard. He still wasn’t sure that Cas was there, it was as if he was living a strange dream, but he wasn’t.

“I slept perfectly” Cas explained. “Better than ever.” He smiled to show appreciation. It was true; most of the nights he had to sleep on the floor or on the grass, a bench if he was lucky; that bed was the best thing he slept on, not only because of the comfort, also because he wasn’t sleeping outside, feeling the cold temperatures of the night in his bones. That night he slept extremely well.

“Sit down and eat. I’ll give you some coffee.” Dean stood up and went towards the coffee machine. He picked up a mug and filled it with coffee. “How do you like coffee?” asked looking at Cas.

“Black.”

Dean finished filling the coffee and moved towards the table “Here” Dean offered and sat down, next to Cas and facing Sam. “Are you feeling better?” Cas nodded as he drank the coffee. He really needed coffee in mornings and he was acquiring the taste for it. Sam and Dean looked at each other, astonished about how Cas drank coffee. “Wow, easy with coffee Cas” Dean said moving the mug away from Cas.

“Sorry. This coffee tastes better than the one’s served in cafeterias” Cas made a shy smile.

“Because this is real coffee, not water with colorant” Dean explained with an acid laugh. Cas half-closed his eyes confused. Dean rolled his eyes. “Never mind”

Cas looked at Dean confused and then he started to eat a toast with butter, while Sam and Dean finished their breakfasts, with the only sound of their sips and chews breaking the silence.

“Cas—” Dean started to say. Cas looked at him, and Sam too, because Sam knew what Dean was going to ask. He knew too well his brother “I think you owe us an explanation” Dean asked with a serious voice. He needed to know something about what happened, not everything, just a bit. He needed answers.

Cas swallowed hard and looked down; he wasn’t ready at all to talk, but Dean was right, he owed them an explanation.

“Dean, I don’t think he wants to talk about it yet…” Sam said in a gentle way.

“No Sam, I have to.” Cas said in a serious and secure voice. Cas sighed. He held tightly the mug. He had to tell them a lot of things, but he wasn’t ready to tell the whole story, just the last part of it, to fill the missing gaps from the time he was disappeared. He swallowed “Metatron told me that he knew that I wanted to fix heaven, so he offered me to shut the gates down, in order to lock angels there, so they only cause damage there and not on Earth and also because angels needed to talk to each other and try to fix all the problems.” Cas sighed. Remembering all of that wasn’t easy. It happened a long time, but the wounds were still open. He still had nightmares about everything that happened, since Naomi to the angel’s fall. He hated that about being human. “He told me that it was the best idea, so I believed him. I didn’t think his intentions were others. I made what I thought that were trials, but they turned out to be a spell to cast out all the angels from heaven.”

Sam and Dean were paying attention to every single word Cas said, without saying anything. Just listening very closely. They could feel how Cas’ voice was becoming more broken the more he talked.

“Naomi warned me that Metatron’s intention was that, but I didn’t believe her. I couldn’t believe her after all the things she made me do.” Cas’ eyes were turning glassy. He remembered the time with Dean in the crypt, but the worst of all, how Naomi made Cas kill Dean thousands of times. But Cas wasn’t going to mention that, he wasn’t ready to talk about it yet. “So when I got back to heaven, Naomi was dead and Metatron put me an archangel blade in mi throat. Then, he tied me and took my grace; he said it was the last thing he needed for the spell, and then, he send me back to Earth and I saw what I did” Cas closed his eyes with strength, as if he could remove all those memories with that. But it was impossible, those thoughts were there, they will always be there, no matter what he did, all those memories weren’t going to disappear, they would stay there forever, making him to suffer and regret everything.

“It wasn’t all your fault Cas” Dean said serious. There wasn’t much forgiveness in his voice, but there was sympathy.

“It was all my fault Dean.” Cas said opening his eyes and looking down. Cas wanted to cry, but he could hold the tears. “No matter what I do, I always end up screwing things up. I always think I’m doing right, but the only thing I do it’s breaking things.” He sounded really frustrated.

“We all make mistakes Cas” Sam said. He knew what Cas was going through.

“But not like mines” He looked at Sam with glassy eyes.

Dean wasn’t as angry as he should be. Hearing Cas’ explanation made him feel less angry, although there was still rage running through his veins. Cas always tried to do what he thought it was the right thing, but he always fucked up. But this time, Cas was really broken. Dean never saw Cas like that, so broken, so fragile. Never. Cas was one of the most powerful beings that Dean ever saw, and now, it seemed like he was broken in millions of pieces.

“How about you end up your breakfast and I shave you?” Dean suggested. Cas gazed at him, with shining glassy eyes, showing a bit of confusion. Even his blue eyes looked bluer because of the tears Cas was holding. “It will be good to you to get away a bit from all that crap. And I think you need to be shaved urgently.” Dean wanted to get away from all of that too; he was feeling a bit weird with Cas. He was glad his friend was back, but he wasn’t sure how to feel about the rest that involved Cas. He just wanted that everything was part of a bad dream that he could wake up from, but he couldn’t, because it was reality, and the best he could do was to try to do something that kept them away from all that crap.

“I appreciate that, Dean” Cas said with a sweet smile. Dean made a tired smile. 

 

Dean and Cas were in the bathroom. Dean brought a razor and Cas two tall chairs that Dean asked for. Cas sat in one of the chairs while Dean was putting some shaving foam on the brush.

“Wouldn’t it be easier to shave me with a plastic razor?” wondered Cas.

“Have you seen how much beard do you have?” Dean pointed. “If you use a freaking plastic razor, you’ll spend a lot of hours shaving and you’ll break the razor.” He explained turning around. “Plastic razors are good when you have less than a week beard; you have a month beard dude.” Dean sat down, in front of Cas and started to apply the foam in a gentle way. It felt funny for Cas, it tickled him. “Are you ticklish now?” Dean wondered with a funny smile.

“What’s that?” Cas asked confused.

“What you are feeling right now in your face when I do this.” Dean explained as he applied the foam.

“I understand. I guess that yes, I might be.”

Dean made a warm smile. Cas seemed really weird with all the foam in his face. Everything was weird. Having Cas back, shaving him, staring at him, knowing that he was human. After all that time, Cas was right there and Dean had a feeling that Cas would leave him again as soon as he felt better. But right now, Cas was there, and he really liked that. He could be as furious as hell with Cas, but he couldn’t deny that he was happy to have Cas back.

“This is very sharp” Dean began to explain picking the razor. “Don’t move or talk while I’m shaving you. Okay?” Cas nodded. “After your entire journey, it would be an awful end to bleed to death from a razor.” Dean made a grin and Cas nodded.

The hunter started to shave Cas, slowly and very delicately, without trembling, being very careful with Cas skin. Something that Cas appreciated, he was enjoying it indeed. He could even see himself reflected in Dean’s green eyes, that were focused on Cas’ face. Cas really missed Dean’s green eyes, and his freckles too, well, he missed Dean entirely, but when he looked at those beautiful eyes, when they weren’t angry or sad, he sometimes felt something heartwarming inside him, he didn’t know why exactly, but he felt it.

Dean cleaned the razor, covered with hair and foam. “Crap, you have a lot of beard” Dean said amused.

“I couldn’t shave.” Cas said looking how Dean washed the razor.

“I know.” Dean said going back to shaving. “At least you were able to survive”

Both of them blushed with that comment and looked at each other’s eyes. They blushed even more. Dean looked at Cas’ cheek while Cas looked to other side, trying to hide a smile. Dean kept shaving Cas, cleaning the razor when it needed to be cleaned, without saying a word between them, only gazing sometimes to each other, but they moved they eyes away as soon as they could. Dean was thinking that things were going to be different now, because Cas was human. He knew Cas was going to have some troubles with being human. He was afraid that Cas ended up like he saw when Zachariah showed Dean the future. Cas was broken. Almost as broken as now. His guts twisted with that thought. That was the last thing both of them needed. Dean remembered every time that something bad happened between he and Cas. If Cas would have listened to him… But he didn’t. And now it was the same old thing. Cas broke things and came back to Dean, like he always did when there wasn’t anything else to do. Dean believed that Cas only came back to him because it was the last person left, not because he wanted to stay with him, just because he needed help or get better. Dean was wondering if this time was going to be the same, if Cas would leave as soon as he felt better. He thought that he knew the answer to that. It made him feel sad and angry, but he kept all of that to himself, so he made a poker face, trying to look casual, despite of starting to feel quite bad about all that shit he was thinking about.

“Okay, chin up.” Dean ordered. Cas did it.

That was the last part. Dean made an awesome work with the razor; Cas’ beard was gone, except the one in the neck, where Dean was now. He shaved the last part and took Cas’ face in his left hand, moving it in order to see if there was any beard left. It was perfect. Cas was shaved.

“I’ll clean you the leftover foam” Dean said while he cleaned the razor. He took a towel and removed the foam that was left. Cas liked the touch of the towel in his beardless face. When he finished, he took Cas’ face again. Cas blushed at that touch. “I didn’t cut you or nick you” he said with a proud face.

“I trusted you to not” Cas said.

Dean’s face expression changed to an astonished and even a drained one. Hearing Cas trusted him on doing something was something he hadn’t heard from a long time, although it was just about a silly thing such as shaving, but Dean felt like something hit him in the heart. The last two years were difficult for them, and when everything seemed to be good again, it wasn’t anymore. There was always some shit between them that fucked things up. When they seemed to be good again, something happened and everything was bad. Why would this time be different?

A sighed was given by Dean, who looked down and took his hands away from Cas’ face; then, he saved the razor. Cas kind of knew what Dean was thinking, and made a sad face. They weren’t ready for being as good as they used to. That’s what Cas thought, and he knew that he was right about it.

“It’s really soft” Cas said touching his face. Dean looked at him and laughed in a soft way. Cas was with both of his hands stroking the part of his face where the beard used to be; it was funny to Dean to see him doing that kind of stupid things. Cas made a wide smile.

“It’s soft as a baby bottom” Dean laughed. Cas looked at him confused. “It’s an expression Cas, it means that something it’s really soft.” Dean explained rolling his eyes.

Cas kept touching his face, it was really soft. Dean couldn’t stop laughing about it. “Thank you Dean” Cas said.

“You are welcome.” Dean looked again at Cas. “What are you going to do?” He asked curious.

“I don’t know.” He shrugged.

Dean made a thoughtful grin. “There are some things to do here in the bunker, but I don’t know what you’d like to do to keep you busy.” Dean sighed.

“I’d like something that it doesn’t involve a lot of energy; I’m not as rested as I’d like to” Cas said a bit sad.

“Then just read or something like that.” He suggested.

“What are you going to do?”

“Ordering some stuff we found here, carrying some boxes…”

“I can help you” he offered trying to feel useful.

“Nah Cas, you should do something that doesn’t have a lot of movement and stuff like that.” Dean wanted to be alone in that moment, he needed it. He didn’t want Cas near him for the rest of the day, because he knew that he would get sadder and angrier and he would start thinking about things that he didn’t want to think about.

Cas sighed. “Okay, I’ll find something.” He made a sad face.

Dean left the bathroom, leaving Cas there. Cas felt like if Dean wanted to avoid him. He didn’t want his help, he just wanted Cas to get busy with something and leave him alone. Cas quite understand it. After everything, Dean couldn’t just pretend that everything was okay with him, but Cas really needed his support, he needed his friend, but Dean was still mad at him. And he knew that somehow, he was disturbing Dean.

Cas got out from the bathroom and tried to find something to do. He didn’t want to read in that moment, not even take a rest. He needed to keep his mind busy with something, Dean was right about it, but Cas didn’t know with what exactly. He explored the bunker, trying to find something. There were books, games, films, and things like that, but Cas wasn’t in a mood for any of that. He kept looking for something that could interest him. He found a long hall that at the end was illuminated with natural light. Cas half-closed his eyes looking at it strangely and walked to it.

Cas opened a door made of glass and saw a greenhouse. It was quite big, in a Victorian style, all the walls and the roof were made of glass, with most of them transparent, but there were parts that were colored, making it look like a magical place full of light. Cas smiled when he saw that place. He got into the greenhouse and looked at everything; the benches, the tables with gardening stuff, jars and a notebook, and of course, the plants. The greenhouse was divided in three parts, but two of them didn’t have plants on it. Cas could recognize that some of the plants were for medical use, but most of them were for spells. He saw that all that plants needed someone to take care of them; they weren’t cut for a long time, and some of them were in really bad condition, but with a good intervention, they could be saved. He approached the table to examine the jars; they had seeds of the plants that were planted and some of then that weren’t. All the jars were labeled with the corresponding name of the plant. Then Cas looked at the notebook. It was blank, nothing was written. He thought he could use it to write which plants were planted and for what they could be used. Cas smiled. He found something he could be good at; something useful.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a great chapter I know, but without it, the next chapter would feel like something is missing I guess, anyway, enjoy it.

Dean was busy with all that boxes, trying to know what some of the things inside them were. There were things he couldn’t tell what they were, other things were easy to tell by the shape, but he didn’t have any idea why they were there of what use they could have and the rest of the stuff were things that Dean knew. The worst part was to order those things, it was really messy and also, there were a lot of things that neither Sam nor Dean have any idea of what the hell they were. Men of letters have a lot of things classified and explained with every detail, but there were hundreds of boxes with strange things that weren’t, and Dean and Sam had to figure out what they could be, and if they couldn’t they just left it in a box.

He took a break to eat something. Morning passed quite fast. It was lunch time, and that meant that anybody would pick something from the fridge and eat. There was no need to cook something, something good for Dean, because most of the times, he was the one who cooked breakfast and dinner, he didn’t mind it at all, in fact, he enjoyed cooking, but it was good to have one cooking free time. Sam usually made himself a salad from lunch, Kevin and Dean most of the times put in the microwave a precooked dish, or made a sandwich or a sub, something easy and tasty. Dean made himself a sandwich with turkey, mayonnaise, lettuce and tomatoes, with three pieces of bread, putting the same ingredients in both soles, and ate it in the kitchen. While he was eating it, he wondered where Cas was and if he had already eaten. He was thinking about finding Cas, but he didn’t do it. He would keep doing all that stuff. It was better to stay a bit away from Cas. He needed it. It was great to have him back and knowing he was alive, but Dean wasn’t sure about how he was feeling about the fact of Cas being behind the same roof as him. He wasn’t sure if Cas was going to stay or if he was going to leave when he felt better. He shook his head. He needed to avoid those thoughts.

 

Cas appeared after a long time in the greenhouse. He was feeling hungry. He spent the whole morning and big time of the afternoon in there. Time flew away. He realized how much time he spent there when he saw it was starting to get dark. He went to the kitchen, following the great smell that came from there and he saw Dean making hamburgers.

“Hello Dean.” Cas said. Dean turned around and looked at him startled.

“Hey Cas” Dean greeted getting back his gaze to the food. “You hungry?”

“I am. I haven’t eaten since breakfast.”

“You should have eaten something.” Dean’s tune was concerned. “Dinner will be ready in some minutes.”

Sam and Kevin appeared.

“Some more minutes Dean?” Kevin protested.

“Perfection takes its time” Dean answered annoyed. Kevin always wanted food to be done really fast, when he smelt food he liked, he couldn’t wait.

Kevin rolled his eyes “Oh, hey Cas”

“Hello Kevin.” Cas greeted.

“Where have you been Cas?” Sam wondered.

“In the greenhouse”

“We’ve got a greenhouse?” Sam and Dean asked at the same time.

“Yes. Plants are quite abandoned, but I’ll take care of them. They are medicinal plants and for spells.” He explained with an enthusiastic tune. Cas was really happy about the greenhouse, he always liked taking care of all the kind of plants, he found it really enjoyable.

“That sounds cool” Sam said happily.

Dean didn’t say anything, although he was happy about the fact of Cas being busy with that, but Cas would have appreciated that Dean showed some interest about it. He felt a bit ignored by Dean.

Minutes later, dinner was served. Sam, Cas and Kevin said that the burgers were extremely good and Dean smiled proudly. Cas really enjoyed every single taste. Dean cooked really good. Cas really liked Dean’s food, not only because he spent the last month eating some really bad cooked food most of the time, he tasted before becoming human some food and Dean’s food was better than all of that.

Dean barely spoke during the dinner, only with Sam and Kevin and just a few words; he didn’t feel like talking about anything at all. Cas was talking quite much, because Kevin and Sam were asking several questions, some of them about his long journey but most of them about the greenhouse; Dean was paying attention, but he didn’t talk to Cas or asked him anything. He wanted to ask other things, but he knew it wasn’t the time for that; he didn’t even know when it could be the time for that. Whenever he thought that, his guts twisted. He hated feeling like shit.

Cas knew that Dean was listening to him, but Dean didn’t want to talk. He was frustrated about it. He hated when Dean was like that with him, but somehow, Cas knew that he kind of deserved it. Dean made a lot of for him; he received him in the bunker, made him food and gave him a bed where he could sleep, which was more that he should have, but nevertheless Cas wanted Dean to be less distanced. He didn’t want Dean to be as good with him as they used to be before Cas made the deal with Crowley, well, Cas wished that they could be like that again, but he didn’t deserved it. He didn’t blame Dean for being so distance with him, but Cas just wanted Dean to show him a bit of appreciation, nothing else, however, he knew that was going to be quite difficult for Dean.

 

Dean got in the bed. Lights were switched off. He hoped he could sleep easily; his body was begging for some rest, the last few weeks he only slept four or five hours, and his body needed at least eight, since Sam and he started living in the bunker, he started to sleep more than the four hours he used to sleep, now he slept eight or nine, if he didn’t have any shit going through his head, so that night, he wasn’t going to watch a movie or read, he was going to try sleeping. But his mind wasn’t helping. He was thinking about Cas. He didn’t know what to say or what to do with him. Everything was a bit awkward and tense between them. The last time Cas was in the bunker, he disappeared, and Dean saw him again days later, the same day angels fell. He remembered that time in the bar, when Cas talked about closing the gates of heaven. Both of them knew that night was going to be the last time they saw each other. And Dean hated that. It wasn’t the first time that Cas was going to disappear; he _died_ a lot of times, but Cas always came back to Dean; but the last time was different. Both were aware that they’ll never see each other again, Cas wanted to close the doors forever and he wasn’t going to be able to get out. And the worst thing about that was that Cas didn’t seem to care about the fact that he wasn’t going to see Dean again, and Dean couldn’t stand with that, he felt like he was just a simple person for him, nothing more. And now, after almost a month without seeing Cas, without knowing where he was, or even knowing if he was alive, Cas came back to him, like he always did, and Dean wondered if one of those mornings when he woke up, he would see Cas was gone. He was tired of that feeling. Every single time Cas appeared, he disappeared without saying a word, not knowing when he would come back, or if he would. Dean always tried to help his friend, but Cas never listened to him, he never seem to care about Dean, and when Cas appeared it was because he needed help, he was fucked up or he fucked up something. Not because he wanted to be with Dean. That’s what Dean believed, that Cas always came back because he didn’t have any other place to go, not because he cared about Dean.

Dean rubbed his face. Why would this time be different? The only different thing between those all times, it was that now Cas couldn’t zap anywhere, so leaving from the bunker wasn’t going to be very easy for Cas, but deep inside, Dean knew that Cas would make anything to get out of there. The wounds of what happened between them weren’t healed for Dean, and thinking about all of that wasn’t helping. He didn’t understood why he felt that for Cas, he used to see how everyone in his life left him at some point, and it always hurt, of course it hurt, but with Cas, it hurt even more, and Dean didn’t understand why. Maybe, because Cas was the one who left him more than anyone; he just wanted Cas to stay, why it had to be so difficult? He could tell Cas to stay, that he didn’t need to leave if he didn’t want to, but Dean was sure that Cas wanted to leave, that he didn’t have anything that kept him there, and of course, how was Dean going to tell Cas to stay if now he didn’t even speak to Cas? He sighed and closed his eyes fiercely, trying to leave his mind in blank. He needed to sleep.

 

It didn’t matter how many turns Cas made, he couldn’t sleep. He pressed his back against the mattress and looked at the ceiling, sighing. He wasn’t feeling really good at all. He felt out of place. He kind of feel he didn’t belong there, but he didn’t have anywhere to go; that was the only place he could stay. He had to stay there if he wanted to get better; he wasn’t feeling quite good, his eyes hurt for the lack of sleep, his bones and muscles sometimes hurt because all his exhausted journey and he knew that he wasn’t as strong as before, he needed to rest.

He wondered if Dean was comfortable with him being in the bunker. He seemed quite glad about knowing he was alive, but for the rest, Dean seemed like he didn’t care about Cas. It was understandable; after beating Dean almost to death, running with the tablet and disappearing for a long time, losing the tablet, disappearing again and the angel’s fall, Cas didn’t deserve Dean’s mercy. Cas turned and closed his eyes. He was really tired. Being human sucked. He didn’t imagine that falling asleep was such a hard thing. He wanted his mind to shut up, but it was impossible. He wondered if Dean was awake. He wanted to talk to him, or do something, he didn’t mind. He wanted to stay with Dean, just a bit, in order to get their friendship back, before it went down. He grabbed the pillow and with his fit, he squeezed it. Why did he screw up everything? He just wanted to do the right thing but he always ended up broking everything. Cas sighed. He wondered if Dean and he could be good again, if Dean would ever forgive him.

“I need you”

That’s what Dean told him before Cas could kill him and when he found him in purgatory. That was what stopped Naomi’s control on Cas. Those three words. Did Dean still need him? Cas didn’t want to think about that answer because he was sure that the answer was no. Cas wished he could have his mojo and he could travel through time and tell himself not to do all the things he regretted. Not making a deal with Crowley, not opening purgatory, not becoming a new God and slaughtering heaven, not breaking Sam’s wall, not leaving Dean, not listening to Metatron… Cas buried his face in the pillow. He felt like shit. He just hoped he could fall asleep soon and that he didn’t dream about anything bad, he wanted a nice dream, or at least, not dreaming. Something that made him took a break, a small one, because when he woke up next morning, all those things will come back to him. At least he had the greenhouse and it will make all those problems disappear for a bit.


	4. Chapter 4

A couple of days passed. Dean didn’t talk quite much with Cas. In those four days they just interchange a maximum of ten words, and that was hurting Cas a lot. He was in the greenhouse; it was the only place in the bunker where he could feel a bit good. He was feeling alone, but when he was in the greenhouse he didn’t feel sad or depressed, but that day, he was it. The situation with Dean was making Cas sad and frustrated. Dean didn’t seem to care about him. He was sure that Dean didn’t want him to die or anything bad happened to Cas, but he believed Dean didn’t want him around. Cas sighed. He was feeling like hell, he even wanted to cry. He hated crying, that was one of the many things about being human that he detested. When he was an angel he could feel sad and like crap, but it wasn’t a feeling as extreme as the human ones; his feelings were worse. He took a deep breath. He wasn’t going to cry, he didn’t want to, he had to keep those tears inside, crying wasn’t going to solve anything.

He went to fix the last plant that hadn’t been fixed by him. He could save all of them, and now, there was just one left to save. Cas cut the dry leaves and the sick branches, he watered slowly the parts that weren’t dead and moved the ground in order to oxygenate it. And those simple things saved all the plants. He was going to do the same with the last one. But before that, he took the notebook. He was using it to draw the plants and write down their names and what they could be used for. He had all those knowledge from being an angel, and he still had it; at least something of being an angel was stick with him. He missed being an angel, being useful for Dean. Without his mojo, he felt like Dean didn’t have a reason to need him, that Cas was an annoying bulk to him, because the only thing he could do what’s to stay in the greenhouse and it seemed that nobody care about it. The greenhouse was like his secret place, where he could stay and do something, without disturbing Dean.

Cas wrote down the descriptions of the last plant he could save; then, he looked at the one left and sighed. He wished that every single mistake he did was as easy to fix as those plants, then, everything could have been easier. His eyes went up to see the greenhouse’s glass roof, illuminated by the sunlight, lightening up the place. His life would be easier if he could stay forever in that place, without disturbing anyone, without needing anything else. But he couldn’t. Being human meant that he couldn’t stay in a place without being noticed, without needing to do stupid things, without feeling really bad for everything. He missed a lot being an angel in those moments.

Once he was done with the last plant, what could he do? Stay there without doing anything, watching how time passed? He could check the plants, but that wouldn’t take long. Cas needed to do something else, but he knew that there wasn’t anything else he could do. He was a strange there, an annoying shadow that must be avoided. He rubbed his face and took a deep breath. It would be better for everyone if he left. Who wants to be near someone who breaks everything? No one; Cas had to leave. But this time, he was going to leave a letter to Dean; if he was leaving, he was going to let Dean know it, although a letter wasn’t a brave choice, but Cas wasn’t ready for Dean’s reaction if he told Dean face to face that he was leaving, although maybe Dean would feel relieved to know that Cas wasn’t going to stay there longer.

Cas moved the pages of the notebook and started to write his farewell letter to Dean.

_Dean,_  
 _I’m leaving. There’s no place for me here. I appreciate your hospitality, but I can’t be here anymore, I don’t belong here, I’ll never belong. This is your home, not mine. I don’t think you even want me here anymore; I’ve become a strange for you, and I don’t think there will be ever a place for me here, and no matter what, this situation it’s going to last forever. I’ll try to find a way to fix my mistakes, and hopefully I’ll be able to find my grace and I’ll be an angel again, it’s the only thing that matters to me, otherwise I’ll die trying to fix everything; it’s better than staying here as an useless being. I should have told you this in person, but I think it’s better in this way. I’m leaving and I don’t think we will ever see again, I believe it’s the best thing for everyone. That’s what I’m still good at, leaving you, the only thing I can do right. I hope we won’t see each other again, so we don’t have to pass for this again. Goodbye._  
 _Castiel._

Every single word hurt him as he wrote it, but he was convinced it was the best thing. Frustration, depression and sadness were really intense every time he was near Dean and he didn’t say a word, he only looked down and avoided him. Cas wanted to say something, but he didn’t know what to say and he was sure that Dean didn’t want to listen. He closed the notebook and left it in the table. He would leave the letter in a place where Dean could find it in about two days, when he felt completely rested; he was feeling better, he wasn’t as thin as when he arrived, his skin color was in a healthier color than before, and the circles in his eyes were almost gone. He would leave the bunker by the night, when nobody could hear him leaving. Cas sighed and started to cut the branches of the last plant.

Cas was still thinking about the letter while he was removing the dead leaves. He felt bad about it, but it was the best thing. He hoped he didn’t fuck up. Every time he thought he was doing the right thing, he was wrong, maybe this time he was fucking things up, or maybe not, but he couldn’t stay in the bunker anymore, it was making him feel really broken.

“Wow, this place is awesome!” Dean said. Cas opened his eyes a lot, shocked about the fact of Dean being there. His stomach twisted. He didn’t look at Dean, he didn’t even understand why Dean was there. He started to breathe a bit faster.

Dean was looking at every single place of the greenhouse, while Cas was trying to keep calm and focused on the leaves. When Dean stopped admiring the greenhouse, he approached Cas.

“Hey Cas” Dean greeted looking at the plants and his friend. His voice was normal, there wasn’t rage on it. Cas was really puzzled.

“Hello Dean” Cas said without stopping his task, trying to look casual.

“You wanna take a break?” He wondered showing two bottles of beer. Cas looked at him and nodded, picking one of the bottles. He was really confused about that situation.

They sat down in the closest bench and took a sip. Dean was looking at the roof, while Cas looked down at the bottle. It was an awkward situation.

“You looked pretty busy” Dean said looking at Cas.

“Just a bit.” Cas said sighing.

“Cas I—” Dean gasped. Cas looked at him. “I want to apologize. These last days I’ve been avoiding you and being a jerk” He explained ashamed and with his face getting a bit red. He was feeling nervous. Last night he realized that he couldn’t be like that with Cas. His friend fucked up a lot of things, but not everything, and he knew Cas was broken and Dean was only broking him more with his behavior. Cas needed his support and he needed Cas; they needed to get their friendship back, and it wouldn’t be back if Dean was still acting like a jerk and ignoring Cas. “I’m sorry about it. I’m really sorry.”

“Don’t worry Dean. It’s understandable.” Cas said with sweetness.

“No man, I shouldn’t have act like that, I— I was mad at you, but I shouldn’t be ignoring you like that.” Dean sighed and looked at Cas’ blue eyes that were shinning. “It’s been really weird everything, having you back and all that stuff. I didn’t know how to react, and I did it in the wrong way. I’m sorry.”

Cas made a soft smile “It’s okay Dean.”

Dean made a small smile and looked down. He wasn’t good at talking, but that was the best he could say, and Cas knew it. Both were blushed, but they were feeling better than all those days.

“It may look that I don’t want you here, but I’m really glad that you are alive and here in the bunker with us.” Dean continued explaining, looking down. Cas’ heart overturned and his mouth opened. His heart was beating fast. Dean looked at Cas. “You are family, I told you before.” Cas blushed a lot; he smiled and looked down. Dean giggled softly, he was feeling really nervous and a bit embarrassed too. “This is a bit awkward, isn’t it?”

“No.” Cas denied. Dean looked at him confused and Cas looked at him. “It isn’t awkward.”

“You are blushed. You are feeling awkward.”

“I’m feeling happy.” He rectified. Dean’s eyes showed surprise. “I’m happy to hear all that.” Dean blushed even more and looked down. Cas had a wide smile on his face. Dean didn’t like that kind of talks, but he was relieved that everything went good, although he felt a bit uncomfortable with all that stuff.

Dean took Cas’ hand to see that it was with some scratches and nicks. Cas blushed at the contact. “You don’t have gloves?” wondered worried

“No. But don’t worry, they are small wounds.” Cas answered. Dean arched a brow and looked at Cas.

“We should buy you some gloves. You don’t want to hurt your hands more.” He suggested releasing Cas’ hand. “Were all those plants as bad as this one?” He wondered pointing the plant that Cas was working with.

“Some of them were. Others were worse.”

“You’ve done a great work then” he admired satisfied. Cas smiled. “Haven’t you thought about planting something in the ones free?”

“I’d like to plant some vegetables in one, and flowers in the other.”

“Flowers? Really?” Dean seemed disconcerted about it.

“Yes, why not? It would give the greenhouse a nice look, and some flowers are good for spells.” Cas explained in a defensive tune. That made Dean felt good. There was his Cas.

“Okay, okay, don’t get mad” he laughed. “We could go tomorrow to the city and buy you gloves and seeds for all the things you want to plant.” He offered in a sweet voice.

“I’d love that.”

Both smiled. They felt really good in that moment. After those crappy days, they started to be like they were when everything was good. They ended up their beers and then Dean stood up.

“I’ll let you go back to work.” Dean said. He picked Cas’ empty bottle. “I’ve missed all of this.” He confessed in a shy voice.

“Me too.” Cas said with tender eyes.

“I’ll see you at dinner time. Do you want anything special for dinner?”

“I don’t mind. Everything you cook tastes delicious.”

Dean smiled proudly and his face went even redder. Cas made a soft smile; he knew Dean wasn’t use to compliments, and even less to hear them from Cas. He always admired Dean, but he never showed it with words.

“Thanks for that.” Dean said.

“Thank you for all of this.” Cas said with a shy but honest voice.

“Yeah, well—” Dean was nervous, he didn’t know why; he moved his hand to touch his nape. “I wanted us to be as good as we used to.” He said as he left the greenhouse, with a smile on his face and quite blushed.

Cas was like that too, but he also had a warm feeling inside him. He hadn’t felt like that in a long, long time. Dean still wanted him there and he wanted to be okay with him. Cas wasn’t going to give Dean the letter he wrote before. Cas was going to stay in the bunker. It was the first time in a long time that he felt that he had a home.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Maybe the chapter is a bit messy, but I didn't want to make only one chapter with the first part, it was too short, so I added the other part. Enjoy it!

Dean was driving the Impala and Cas was the shotgun. They were feeling actually good, although Cas had a bad time sleeping. It was true that all the problems related with Dean disappeared, but the other crap was still in his head, but in that moment, Cas didn’t care about it. He was enjoying that moment; it was great to be with Dean again in a good way, without feeling frustrated, sad or depressed, just being with him like they used to before everything fucked up, it felt great. Cas couldn’t remember when was exactly the last time he felt that good and nice with Dean; it had been years.

Led Zeppelin sounded on the car, Dean loved driving with music, and Cas seemed to enjoy it, he started to hum the melody after hearing it for some seconds.

“Are you humming the song?” Dean wondered with pleasant surprise. Cas looked at him and nodded. Dean laughed.

“What’s so funny?” Cas asked confused.

“I didn’t expect you to like Led Zeppelin.” He said rising his eyebrows.

Cas shrugged “I like this song. It’s really nice.”

Dean kept his eyes on the road, trying to hide his smile. He had missed those moments, although Cas and him never talked about music before, Dean didn’t even know Cas’ music tastes, but he had missed talking with Cas, going around with him, spending time with him. He was his best friend, and he had missed for a long time being in a casual way with him. Cas was his best friend and though Dean couldn’t forget everything that happened because the wounds were still there, he was glad to start over with Cas.

They arrived to a store where they sold tools and things related with gardening. When Cas got into the store, he was amazed about all the things he could find there. It wasn’t a big store, but it wasn’t small either, and there were a lot of things there, in the walls and in the shelves.

“First of all, we need to find you gloves.” Dean reminded.

“I told you I don’t need them.” Cas protested following Dean, who was trying to find the gloves.

“Shut up.” He picked two pairs of gloves. Cas rolled his eyes. “If I have to, I’ll check you every time you go to the greenhouse to know you are wearing them.” He pointed out in a serious voice.

“Fine. I’ll wear them.” Cas sighed reluctantly.

“Do you need anything else more than these and the plants?” He asked checking at the wall covered with gardening tools. Cas shook his head. “Okay. Here you have all the seeds.”

Cas checked the shelf and started picking. He picked some plants that gave vegetables, like tomatoes, lettuce, zucchini and peppers, and then he started picking the flowers, roses, sunflowers, orchids and tulips.

“All those flowers? Really?” Dean said in a sassy way.

“Yes.” Cas answered with a happy smile. Dean gave him a sassy face, but Cas ignored it; he was happy about being able to plant all those seeds in the greenhouse. He could see them grow, take care of them. Cas was really happy about it, but also, he was happy about Dean being there with him.

After picking up everything Cas needed, Dean paid it. Cas wasn’t comfortable about Dean paying all his stuff, he should have picked some money he had left. It wasn’t a lot, but he wanted to pay his stuff as much as he could. He told Dean that, but Dean just made a grin and said “Don’t be stupid, Cas.” Cas blushed a bit with that.

 

After arriving from shopping, they had lunch; they ate some leftovers from last night. Dean made some macaroni and he wasn’t use to make pasta for four people, so he added more pasta because he wasn’t sure how much Cas would eat, he would rather have some leftover than let people hungry because he wouldn’t have cooked enough. He didn’t like when people stayed hungry.

“Are you going to start planting all that things you bought?” Dean wondered when he finished eating. Cas nodded; he was still finishing his meal. “If you need help with something, just let me know.”

“Thanks.” Cas said when he finished swallowing the reaming macaroni. “What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know” He answered as he shrugged. “I haven’t decided it yet.” A thoughtful grin appeared on his face.

Cas bit his nether lip. He wanted to ask Dean to join him in the greenhouse, but he wasn’t sure if Dean would like the idea. He felt nervous and didn’t know why exactly. “You could join me in the greenhouse, if you want.” Cas finally said in a shy and low voice.

“Yeah, why not? Let’s wash this and we go.” He said as he stood up, picking up the dishes. Cas smiled amused.

 

“I don’t have any idea about gardening.” Dean confessed. He didn’t want to destroy any plants. Cas worked hard with all those plants and was really hopeful with the ones they bought that Dean was a bit scared of fucking something up.

“Planting is the easiest part, don’t worry.” Cas said in a nice way. He was kneeling on the floor, in the part that wasn’t ground. He looked up at Dean, who was standing next to him. “Dean, kneel.” Dean kneeled. He was observing Cas with curiosity. “First of all you have to oxygenate the ground.” Cas explained. Dean half-closed his eyes.

“That sounds complicated.” He murmured with a disconcerted face.

“It’s not.” He giggled. “Look.” Cas started moving softly the ground, stirring it in a gentle way. Dean looked carefully at Cas’ hands that were moving the ground from top to bottom, trying to oxygenate it as much as he could. “Try it.” Cas said looking at Dean. The hunter made a doubt face, but he did it. It wasn’t difficult at all.

“Am I doing it right?” Dean wondered.

“Yes, Dean, you are doing it right. A bit fast, but right.” Cas said. Dean laughed.

“It’s just ground, Cas…”

Cas sighed and rolled his eyes. “If you do it fast you can spoil the ground.” He took Dean’s hands; Dean opened his eyes wide and the touch of Cas’ hands in his. Cas didn’t seem to notice that he shouldn’t do that. Cas moved Dean’s hands in the ground slowly, showing him how he had to do it and tightening Dean’s hands softly. “This speed is the adequate.” He said looking at Dean. Then he realized how close they were, just a few inches were between their faces, and he saw Dean’s expression, eyes widely open and his cheeks were red. He released Dean’s hands ashamed. “Sorry for that.” He apologized moving away and looking down. Cas sometimes forgot that he tended to get in Dean’s personal space too much.

Dean opened his mouth to say something, but he didn’t know what to say, so he closed his mouth and oxygenated the ground. “Like this?” He asked looking down; he didn’t want Cas to see he was a bit blushed, although Cas saw him before and Cas was it too. Dean felt weird when Cas touched his hands, but he kind of liked it.

“Yes.” Cas nodded. “Now we have to make a small hole to put the seed.” He made a hole in the ground and then, he watched how Dean made it.

“What are we going to plant here?” He asked curious.

Cas picked up the plastic bag where all the seeds were. “What would you like to plant here?” he asked looking inside the bag.

“Tomatoes.” Dean answered. Cas gave him the tomatoes seeds and picked some for him to put in the hole he made. “It’s going to be cool to go here and eat something we have planted.” His voice showed enthusiasm. Cas made a huge smile and looked at Dean. Dean gave him a look back, a happy one.

They spent the whole afternoon in the greenhouse, planting most of the seeds, and watering everything, the seeds and the plants that were already grown. They were exhausted, but they really had a good time doing all of that.

 

Although being tired and exhausted after all the gardening session, Cas couldn’t sleep. He was having problems to fall asleep since he started being human. He was only able to sleep a couple of hours, except the night he arrived at the bunker, he never slept as good and long as that night. He wished he could sleep like that night, but he couldn’t. Thoughts and memories didn’t let him sleep. He spent rolling over in the bed a long time and ended up frustrated. No matter which position he stayed, he couldn’t fall asleep. And that made him sweat too. He wasn’t sleeping with pyjama’s pants anymore, he saw Sam and Dean in the mornings with only a t-shirt and boxers, they didn’t sleep with pants, only Kevin did it, so Cas decided that maybe that would help him fall asleep a bit better, because he wouldn’t be sweating too much. But it only helped him with the last thing.

He sat up and rubbed his face. His forehead was covered with sweat. He left the bed and went to the bathroom to refresh his face. When he left the bathroom, he saw a light. It came from the underneath edge of Dean’s door bedroom. Dean was awake too. Cas stood in the hall for some minutes. He went to bed a couple of hours ago, he knew that Dean went to bed some minutes after him, he saw him. Maybe Dean couldn’t sleep too and he wanted to be alone; Cas wasn’t sure if it was a good idea to go to Dean’s bedroom, he could disturb him or Dean could find it awkward. He was pretty sure Dean found awkward what happened in the greenhouse when Cas took his hands. But Cas wanted to go to Dean’s bedroom, maybe he could help him sleep. He bit his lower lip, trying to decide what to do. Finally he sighed and went to Dean’s bedroom and knocked the door.

Dean took away his sight from the book and made a puzzled look; he didn’t expect anyone in the bunker to be awake except him. “Come in” Dean said. Cas opened the door. “Oh, hey Cas.” He greeted.

“Hello Dean.” Cas said getting in the bedroom.

“You can’t sleep?” Dean’s voice showed worry. Cas shook his head as he closed the door and held his back against it. “Nightmares?”

“No, thoughts.” He sighed looking at Dean. He was sitting in the bed, with the sheets and the summer quilt covering from the waist down, holding the book, without reading it. “I don’t know what to do to put those thoughts away and fall asleep.”

“Being human sucks, right?” he made a grin.

“You can’t sleep either?” Cas wondered upset. Dean shook his head.

“I’ve got a lot of crap in my mind that doesn’t let me sleep too.” Dean answered sadly. “That’s why I was reading. At least I don’t waste time circling in bed.” He sighed. Cas made a sad and tired smile.

There was a silence. Dean looked at Cas expecting something. But Cas was looking at the bedroom, so Dean kept reading, he was about to finish the chapter. He knew that Cas was too awkward and he would stand there until he spoke another word, but Dean was used to that.

“Is there anything I can do to fall asleep easier?” Cas asked after a while.

“If I knew it I won’t be reading ‘til late” Dean said with a sarcastic smile.

Cas chuckled and looked up “Yes, well— I know.” He was feeling a bit stupid for that comment. He sighed.

“Don’t frustrate; having trouble sleeping it’s a common thing.” He explained sounding sweet.

“I know, it’s just that, it’s every single night and—” he took a deep breath and rubbed his face “I really need to sleep, just to get away for a bit from all those thoughts.” Dean looked at him sadly, even with a bit of pity. He understood what Cas was going through, he had always had that problem since he was really young.

There was another silence. Dean kept reading and Cas looked this time at the bed. It was bigger than his. Dean’s bed was king size while Cas’ was queen size. An idea appeared in Cas’ head. He knew it was inappropriate, but he was desperate for falling asleep. He was feeling so nervous for what he was going to ask Dean.

“Dean—” Cas started to say. _This is stupid Castiel, you know the answer, and you are going to made him feel really uncomfortable._ His guts were twisting and he felt how his cheeks were getting warmer, he could feel how his face was starting to get red and his heart started to beat quite fast. Since Cas was human, nervousness got very intense. Dean raised his sight from the book and glanced Cas. “I—” It was being really difficult for Cas to say it. He swallowed. “Can I sleep with you?” he asked really fast.

Dean looked at him blushed. Cas was being serious about that. Dean was feeling awkward and nervous. “What?” Dean asked trying to believe what Cas told him.

“If I can sleep with you.” Cas repeated. His hands were sweating and he was feeling really nervous, more than ever and also a bit embarrassed. “We’ve got trouble falling asleep— Maybe we could fall asleep if we sleep together—.” Dean looked at him shocked, and Cas was feeling really ashamed. “You know, never mind” Cas started saying hurriedly with an embarrassed face “I’m going back to—”

“You can sleep with me.” Dean said with a shy voice. Cas looked at him with his eyes opened widely. Neither of them could believe that. Dean just said it, without thinking it twice, and he didn’t know why he said it, the words just blow out from his mouth. A strange feeling ran through him. Cas kept stared at him without believing what he heard. “You can sleep with me.” He said again, saying every single word as clearly as he could. Cas’ eyes showed confusion. “It may help us sleep. We can give it a shot.” Dean couldn’t believe he was saying all of that. He blushed a lot. He knew that he was going to regret that, but in that moment, he didn’t know why, he wanted to try if sleeping with Cas would help them to fall asleep. He thought that he must have gone insane if he wanted Cas to sleep in the same bed as him. 

“Are you sure?” Cas asked shocked. Dean nodded.

“Just come here.” Dean took away his eyes from Cas and removed the sheets and the quilt from the free bed’s space, next to him, offering it to Cas. Cas approached slowly, he was feeling nervous and a bit awkward. For a moment he thought he was dreaming something weird, but he wasn’t, that was real. He got in the bed and covered himself, feeling Dean’s warm although being a space between both of them. “I’ll switch off the light when I finish this page.” Dean said. He was feeling awkward.  
Dean and Cas were blushed. Dean was reading and Cas was looking at the ceiling. When Dean finished the last sentence of the page, he left the book on the nightstand and switched off the light, lying in bed.

“Goodnight Dean” Cas said in a shy and low voice.

“Goodnight Cas.” Dean said in the same voice.

At first it was hard to fall asleep, they were feeling awkward, but at least all the crap that were in their heads disappeared and their thoughts were about the awkwardness in that moment, but surprisingly, they fall asleep after some long awkward minutes.

 

Morning arrived. Dean could feel it in his body, but he was in that moment when he woke up and couldn’t move, and even less, open his eyes. He was feeling really good, very comfortable and warm. It was really nice. But there was something different from the other mornings, it wasn’t the same feeling, this time it was better. He opened slowly his eyes and saw Cas’ face was so close to his. They were in the middle of the bed; they were lying aside; Cas was curled between Dean’s arms that were embracing him. Dean moved away as fast as he could, waking up Cas.

“Dean” Cas said with a pasty voice. He knew what happened; he woke up before Dean’s arms pulled away because of Dean’s legs movement. Both of them looked at each other’s eyes.

“Sorry, I— I was— embracing you” Dean said embarrassed.

“Don’t worry.” He said with a bit of shyness. He wasn’t as embarrassed as Dean. Cas always was so normal with those situations, but he was a bit ashamed because he knew that Dean didn’t like those kind of things. “Did you sleep well?” He wondered curious.

“Yeah, quite good.” Dean’s face was now with an embarrassment grin, as Dean tried to hide it in a failed attempt. “You?”

“Really good.” Cas said rubbing his face. Then he incorporated in the bed. “Thank you for letting me to sleep here.” He was really grateful for that, his voice showed it, but Cas was also a bit embarrased for the situation. It was awkward.

“Where are you going?” Dean asked when he saw Cas getting up, as he was afraid of Cas leaving. He sounded kind of needy.

Cas made a surprised face because of Dean’s voice. “I’m going to take a shower.” He answered.

“Okay.” He said trying to look normal. Cas half-closed his eyes and moved his head as he always did to show confusion, but he left the bedroom anyways.

Dean buried his face in the pillow, he looked stupid, he didn’t know why he reacted in that way when Cas was leaving the bed, if looked like he wanted Cas to be in the bed the whole morning with him. It was all really weird, but he hadn’t slept that good and long for a long time. Both slept really well that night, they were feeling rested and also, they were feeling something warm and good inside themselves, though they didn’t know what it was exactly.


	6. Chapter 6

Less than three weeks passed since the first time Cas and Dean slept in the same bed. And it wasn’t the last one. The night after they slept together, they slept in their respective beds, but the night after that, Cas asked Dean if he could sleep with him again; Cas had trouble falling asleep the night before, and Dean, after thinking about it for some seconds, accepted it. Cas asked him in privately, he knew Dean was quite uncomfortable with sleeping in the same bed as Cas. It was awkward for both of them, especially after waking up embraced, but Cas needed to sleep and sleeping with Dean was he only thing that it seemed to work for him.

That night they went to bed together, and once again, they fall asleep pretty fast, they didn’t know how it could be possible, but it was the second night they slept together and they slept perfectly. And of course, when they woke up, they were embraced again. Cas was laying sideway and had his legs tangled with Dean’s, resting his hand in Dean’s shoulder, the one further from Cas, and his head was resting in Dean’s chest, while Dean was laying down, with his arm holding Cas and with his head crooked, resting on Cas’. Cas woke up first and he woke up Dean saying that they were embraced. Dean pulled away as fast as he could, and both blushed so much. They didn’t know how they could end up like that. They didn’t ask. The only thing they did was get flushed, stared at each other a bit until they moved their sights away and then, Cas left the bedroom, apologizing, leaving Dean laying on the bed with a strange sensation inside him.

The next two nights they slept in their own beds, but they had a really bad time trying to fall asleep those nights. Cas wanted to ask Dean to sleep together again, but he thought that Dean would find it inappropriate and awkward; they slept together two nights and that was enough. That’s what Cas thought, but the next night, Dean couldn’t sleep and he was getting hysterical, so he left his bed and went to Cas’ bedroom. Cas was sleeping. Dean thought about getting in bed with Cas, but that bed wasn’t big enough for both of them, and they will end up cuddling together easier than in Dean’s bed and even in a weirder way, so Dean started shaking Cas’ body in order to wake him up. Cas opened his eyes lazily and confused, wondering what Dean was doing there. Dean was blushed, although Cas couldn’t see his face in the darkness of his room, feeling really embarrassed, he couldn’t believe he was doing that.

“I can’t sleep. Sleep with me in my bed, please.” Dean said in a needy and shy way. Cas got up from his bed and followed Dean, with a big and shy smile on his face.

Again, when they woke up, they saw they were embraced, and as always, they reacted as the same way they did it the two other days.

That day, later, Dean told Cas that they could sleep together all the nights, because that seemed to be the only way to sleep without any problem, but if Cas found it weird or anything, he was free to refuse it. But Cas didn’t refuse. Of course he felt nervous, weird and awkward, but when he slept with Dean he rested, and the same happened to Dean too, and also, although they didn’t want to recognize it, they felt quite good when they slept together, except for the awkwardness when they woke up embraced. So they agreed to sleep together. They thought it was a crazy idea, but they needed sleeping, and the only thing that worked was sleeping together.

All the mornings they ended up embraced, sometimes it was only Cas the one who was being embraced, sometimes it was only Dean, but most of the time, they were embracing each other. They tangled their legs and at least, one of their arms was embracing the other one, but of course, they weren’t conscious about that. After almost a week sleeping together, they got used to it, and when one of them woke up before the other, he just pulled away softly, in order to not wake up the one who was sleeping. But both of them didn’t pull away too far, they liked to feel the warm of their bodies; they didn’t know why, but feeling each other’s warm was quite good, maybe because they knew that they were there together, that after all that crap that happened between them the last years, they were in that moment in the same bed and nothing bad could happen to them.

Awkwardness started to disappear, even one day they woke up at the same time and they were face to face, not touching, just really close, so close that they could see each other reflected in the other’s eyes. They just talked about stupid things until they felt their bodies awake, both of them had a hard time to get up from bed once they were awake, Cas more than Dean. They were starting to feel good with waking up next to each other, and also when they were embracing, but neither of them recognized it or say it, they just ignored that.

Sam saw them one morning getting out from Dean’s bedroom together, and he looked at Dean expecting an explanation, but Dean glared him; he knew perfectly what Sam was thinking. His brother didn’t ask again, he just giggled every time he saw them going out from Dean’s bedroom together.

Most of the mornings, Dean was the one who woke up first; as always, Cas and him were embraced, but Dean didn’t pull away. He liked to see Cas sleeping, it was still unusual for Dean; Cas used to be always awake, Dean only saw him sleep once, when Cas fell back in the times of apocalypse, but no more, and now, Cas was sleeping calmly, breathing slowly and Dean found it strange, but he found Cas too cute. Who would have said that the person sleeping next to him was a fiercely graceless angel? When Cas slept, he looked so fragile but at the same time, he looked really pure. Dean knew those thoughts were weird for friends, it was weird sleeping with Cas, but he didn’t care about it anymore. He liked to see his friend sleeping next to him, and Dean liked to sleep in the same bed as Cas. Both of them felt warm and safe sleeping behind the same sheet.

And that’s how their nights and mornings went for Dean and Cas, first it was all weird and now it was the most normal thing for them. And neither of them wanted to sleep alone in their own beds again; they felt really rested every time they slept together and they enjoyed being in bed together, it wasn’t the most common thing to do between friends, but they didn’t care too much, only when they get too touchy accidentally, but that was disappearing with the days.

They were sleeping together, as always. Dean was breathing slowly and relaxed. He was side lying, he wasn’t dreaming at all, something that he liked because the nights when he didn’t dream, were the ones where he rested better. But Cas wasn’t like having that luck that night. Cas was having nightmares. It was the first time he had nightmares since he started sleeping with Dean. He was dreaming with angels falling, a lot of blood and pain; he was sweating a lot and moving his face in the pillow. Suddenly, in the dream, Dean appeared and so did Naomi, and she made him kill Dean over and over again. Cas was suffering with every single kill, but suddenly, one of the Deans he killed came life again and killed him. In that moment Cas woke up with a suffocating sound.

“Cas—” Dean said opening his eyes slowly. Cas shook the bed when he raised, ending up sat on the bed. Thanks to the small window that was in the superior part of one of the walls, that allowed moonlight to enter in the bedroom, Dean could see Cas perfectly; he was breathing really fast, he was covered with sweat, his face was really pale and he was shaking. “Cas!” He said rising, sitting is the bed as well.

Cas couldn’t talk, he was shocked and about to hyperventilate. Dean never saw Cas like that, his face showed that Cas was terrified; he knew that Cas had to dream something very horrible.

Dean took Cas’ face with both of his hands, making Cas to look at him. “Hey, hey, Cas” Dean started to say with a sweet voice, but it also showed fear, but he tried to hide it as good as he could, Cas needed to feel calm. “Cas, take it easy.” Dean said as those blue eyes looked scared. Dean hugged Cas, he put one of his arms in Cas’ back and the other in Cas’ head, allowing Cas to lean his head in Dean’s shoulder.

Dean could feel Cas’ heart beating faster than ever, his chest going up and down fucking fast, the warm that Cas released and the sticky sweat in Cas’ body. Dean ran his fingers through Cas’ hair; he used to do that with Sam when he got nightmares, when he was a little boy and Sam calmed down, but Sam’s nightmares never seemed to be as horrible as Cas’. Cas reaction was really awful.

Dean felt how Cas buried his face in Dean’s shoulder and hugged Dean. He fisted Dean’s t-shirt on the back and squeezed himself against Dean.

“It’s okay Cas” Dean said without stopping running his fingers through Cas’ dark hair, messing it a little bit more. “Everything’s okay. I’m here.” Dean’s voice was full of tenderness. “It’s okay. It was just a nightmare. Nothing else.” He rested his head softly in Cas’. “I’m here Cas, I’m right here.”

Cas was crying in silence and tears started running to end up in Dean’s t-shirt. He tightened his fists even more, twisting part of Dean’s t-shirt. He was hearing every single sweet word Dean was saying. Dean was right there with him, calming him, hugging him. He felt safe in that moment. Dean held him tighter. He was going to hold him all night long if Cas needed it. He would do it until Cas felt better.

After some long minutes, Cas' fits relaxed and released Dean’s t-shirt, his heart started to beat in a normal speed and his breath, although it was quite fast, it wasn’t as fast as before. Dean sighed relieved. Cas raised his head and let Dean saw his face covered with tears. Dean moved his hands to end up in Cas’ cheeks and with his thumbs he removed the tears.

“Thank you for that Dean.” Cas said in a broken and soft voice.

“Are you better?” Dean asked worried. Cas nodded. Dean stroked with his thumbs Cas’ face. “You scared me” he said with a trembling voice. Cas could see that Dean’s eyes were glassy.

“Sorry. I— I have an awful nightmare.” He wanted to cry again when he remembered the last part of the dream.

“I know.” He sighed. “Just forget it, okay? It was just a nightmare.”

Cas took a deep breath. “I feel really bad.”

“I know Cas.” Dean hugged him again. Cas closed his eyes. He felt really safe between Dean’s arms, it was really heartwarming. He hugged Dean. After a while Cas pulled away slowly. Cas was feeling better. “You breathe in a normal speed.” Dean observed. Cas nodded. Then Dean kissed him in the forehead. Cas blushed at the contact of Dean’s lips in his skin, but it feel good, it was really heartwarming too. “Let’s try to sleep, okay?” Dean suggested; he was blushed too, the forehead kiss was something he never did before to anyone. He didn’t know why he kissed Cas’ forehead. Cas nodded and lay down, Dean did the same.

There were some few inches between their bodies. Dean moved his head to see Cas, who was breathing fast again, he put his hand in Cas’ chest. Cas turned his head; Dean was really worried about him. He felt the warm of Dean’s hand crossing his t-shirt, it was really nice.

“Just relax Cas, please.” Dean begged. Cas nodded and took a deep breath. His breathing was normal again. Dean removed his hand. “Try to sleep.”

“Okay.” Cas said closing his eyes.

 

Dean woke up and saw Cas between his arms; he had a really awful night, but now, Cas was sleeping soundly. Dean made a soft smile, then he released Cas, being very careful, he didn’t want to wake up Cas, he wanted him to sleep more. He didn’t make any sound when he got up and left the bedroom, and before he closed the door, he looked at Cas, who was still sleeping and Dean smiled.

After finishing in the bathroom, Dean went to the kitchen to have breakfast, and he saw Sam was already there. He even made breakfast, what it was unusual, because most of the times, Dean was the one who made breakfast because Sam really liked Dean’s breakfasts.

“You made breakfast?” Dean asked astonished.

“You know that normal people usually say good morning?” Sam said with his sassy voice.

“We aren’t normal” He said filling a mug with coffee. Sam laughed.

“I would have waited you to wake up and made breakfast, but I was hungry and you didn’t wake up” he explained while he  
spread butter in a toast.

Dean rubbed his face. “Cas had a nightmare and he woke me up and I had to calm him.” He took a breath. “He had a really bad time” Dean added sighing.

“What did he dream about?” Sam asked.

Dean shrugged. “I don’t know. But whatever it was, it was something horrible. I’ve never saw him that terrified before.”

Sam finished spreading butter in the toast; he was about to eat it, but Dean snatched it and bit it. “Hey that’s my toast you jerk!” Sam replied annoyed.

“It was your toast, bitch.” Dean rectified with a cocky smile. Sam made him a bitch face and then picked up another toast to spread butter.

“So, what’s going on between you and Cas?” Sam wondered rising a brow.

Dean glared him. “What are you talking about?” His voice showed disturbance and even awkwardness and shyness, something that Sam could notice. Dean thought that he could trick his brother, but Sam knew him well enough and knew when Dean was trying to hide his feelings.

“As if you didn’t know.” Sam giggled, but Dean kept looking at he didn’t know. Sam sighed. “Well, you two have always been really close, but now he is in the bunker with us, you spent most of the time with him, more than you two used to.” That was true; Dean and Cas were most of the time together. The plants were doing good in the greenhouse, so they didn’t spent much of the time there, only watering and things like that, but the rest of the time, when Dean wasn’t helping Sam with something, that it was only a few times, he was with Cas doing all kind of stuff, moving boxes, watching a movie, ordering stuff, talking… “And also, you two are sleeping together” Sam continued.

“We are sleeping together because if we sleep in our own bed, we can’t sleep right.” Dean said defensively.

“Do you realize that doesn’t sound as convincing as you think?”

“Yeah, I know. Shut up.” Dean was blushed.

“Oh God, you are blushed!” Sam’s laughter was really loud, and that was making Dean get blushed even more.

“Stop acting like a five year old! There’s nothing between us!”

Sam lowered his laughter and looked at his brother, who was starting to get angry. He knew that Dean was uncomfortable with that, but Sam knew that Dean was feeling something for Cas, he always felt something for him. “Yeah, well, keep telling yourself that.” Sam said in a low voice and ate his toast.

Dean looked at his coffee, trying to calm down. Then he stared at his brother, who had a tiny proud smile on his face. “You are stupid.” Dean said bothered.

Sam looked at his brother and made a pity smile. “I think you are the stupid one.” Dean looked at him confused. Sam sighed. “If I tell you what I should tell you, you’d kill me.” He confessed.

“Is it chick-flick?”

Sam made a thoughtful grimace. “Yeah, you’d consider it as chick-flick.”

“Then save it for yourself.” Dean took a sip from his coffee.

“You seem happier now that you are sleeping in the same bed as Cas.” Sam said in a low voice. Dean raised his eyes and looked at Sam with a glance that Sam knew it was a mix of rage and embarrassment.

“Can we leave this topic?” Dean asked with a bitch face.

“Yes. That was the last thing I have to say about it.” Sam said with the tiny proud smile.

They didn’t say anything else; Sam looked at Dean, who was thinking about everything Sam said, he was sure about it, and smiled to himself. Dean was a fool sometimes.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, I've been a bit busy with college. Anyway, enjoy this chapter.

The nightmare really affected Cas, he spent the whole day by his own, upset, he couldn’t get the nightmare out of his head, no matter what he tried to do in order to throw it away. He stayed in the greenhouse the whole day. Dean offered to help him but Cas said he wanted to be by his own, and Dean let him, although Dean wasn’t sure about it.

That day, Cas didn’t talk too much, he never was a chatterbox, but that day he only spoke when he needed to. Dean was worried about him, but he decided not to push him, Cas needed his space, but Dean knew that his friend was feeling really bad, and Dean wanted to make him feel a little bit better.

At least that night Cas slept good. He woke up early, leaving Dean in the bed. He had a small breakfast and went to the greenhouse, to water the plants and check them out; when he was done, he sat down in one of the benches and looked through the glasses. He heard Dean entering the greenhouse, but he didn’t move his head from the view. He liked seeing the landscape.

“How are you?” Dean asked when he sat down next to Cas, looking at the landscape, like Cas.

Cas sighed. “Still shocked.” Cas answered. Dean laid his hand in Cas’ shoulder. Cas smiled in a warm way. He liked when Dean showed that kind of affection to him.

“You’ve gotta forget about that nightmare, man.” His voice was filled with worry.

“I know.”

There was a silence. Dean knew Cas didn’t want to talk about it, that he wanted to stay there alone. Dean wanted to do something to make Cas feel better, but he didn’t know what to do.

“If you need something just let me know, okay?” Dean said stirring Cas’ hair, something that both of them enjoyed.

“I will.” Cas said. Dean stood up and left Cas there, contemplating the views.

In the afternoon, Cas was going to stay in the greenhouse, but Dean saw him going there and ran towards him and caught Cas’ wrist. Cas looked at him confused and Dean blushed, releasing the hand.

“I’ve found a Charlie Chaplin film that you may like. We can watch it if you want to” Dean said. Cas moved his head to show his bewilderment. “It would be good for you to keep your mind away for all the crap.” He explained in a shy way.

“Will you make popcorn?” Cas asked. Dean smiled.

“I’ll make popcorn.” His smile got wider.

Cas smiled and walked to the room where there was a sofa and a television, while Dean made popcorn. When the popcorn was made, Dean went to the room, where Cas was already, waiting for the popcorn and sitting in the sofa. Dean handed him the bowl with popcorn and pressed the play button and sat down, next to Cas, in his right side.

“Don’t hoard the popcorn.” Dean said trying to put the bowl in the place that they left between their legs. But Cas moved the bowl to his left, making really difficult to Dean to reach the bowl. Cas laughed while he ate some popcorn and Dean looked at him in a cocky way. “C’mon, give me popcorn.” He asked trying to do puppy eyes. “You aren’t going to eat all of them!”

“Of course I’ll eat all of them. You know I love popcorn.” Cas said laughing. The film already started, but neither of them were paying attention, they were busy with sharing the popcorn.

Dean approached Cas, leaving no space between them, but Cas picked up the bowl and moved to the side of the sofa. Cas knew he couldn’t move further, so Dean smiled. “You are in the limit.” Dean said approaching to Cas. But Cas put the bowl down in the floor, where he was the only one able to reach it. He laughed when Dean made an angry face. “You’ve gotta be kidding me.”

Cas moved his hand to pick some popcorn, and then he eat them. “No, I’m not kidding you.” He said with his mouth full. Then, he took more popcorn, but this time Dean started tickling Cas in the hips. Cas twisted and laughed, letting the popcorn fall from his hand, so Dean could pick them. “Hey, those are mines!” Cas said still laughing because of the tickles. Dean made a proud and cocky smile, he was going to eat the popcorn, but Cas threw himself against Dean.

Dean was with his back in the sofa and Cas was over him, holding Dean’s wrist, trying to pick the popcorn but Dean was hiding them in his fist. Cas tried to open the fist with both of his hands, but Dean avoid it by tickling Cas again. Cas laughed again and shook his whole body above Dean. After a while, Cas took Dean’s hand in order to avoid more tickles, and Dean moved his fist to his own mouth and dropped the popcorn in there.

Cas half-closed his eyes, making a funny face, while Dean was smiling happily, proudly and cockily while he was chewing. Then, when he swallowed them, he realized that Cas was above him, and both noticed how close their faces were, they could see themselves reflected in each other’s eyes, their mouths were separated just a few inches. They blushed.

“I should—” Cas said breathily.

“Yeah we should—” Dean swallowed. Cas stood up and let Dean sat on the couch. They were really blushed and feeling quite hot. “I think we should start the movie again, we missed the start.” He said getting up and rewinding the video. Cas was standing there, feeling embarrassed. Dean sat down and then, Cas picked up the popcorn bowl and sat down next to Dean, without leaving a space between them and putting the bowl above their legs.

“You can eat them.” Cas made a shy smile.

“Thanks.” He took a lot of them with his fist.

“But leave me some! I know that when you start eating them you can’t stop.” He protested with shyness.

“Just like you.” Dean said with a cocky smile. Cas made a guilty smile.

They watched the movie, without saying a word; they ate the popcorn and sometimes they touched their hands accidentally, getting a bit blushed; after Cas being above Dean with their faces really close, the hand touching wasn’t as awkward as it should be, but they liked that small and accidentally touch, and also the touch of their legs; they were sitting without any space between them.

Neither Cas nor Dean talked about how close and touchy they were getting or how personal space almost disappeared; they just keep as always, with awkward moments and blushing. But inside each other, they wanted a bit more than that, more than those casual touches, more than those moments, although they refused to admit it.

That night, when they went to bed, they didn’t leave a big space between each other, it was a small space, they could feel the other’s warm. No one of them said something about it, after all, they knew that in the morning they would wake up and see that they were embraced. And that what’s happened next morning.

When Dean woke up, Cas was with his arms holding Dean, who was the little spoon; Dean could feel Cas’ breathing in his nape, a warm, wet and calm breathing. Dean settled his head on the pillow and closed his eyes. He knew that wasn’t a normal thing, two friends sharing a bed and being embraced, but it felt really good to him. Cas was still sleeping, but he always moved a lot in bed. He moved one of his arms and it ended up in Dean’s hipbone. Dean’s t-shirt was a bit raised, so he could felt Cas’ hand in his skin. Cas’ hand was warm and even soft, more than he expected. He felt Cas nuzzled his nape and moved slowly his hand along Dean’s belly until he stopped. Dean was feeling nervous, but he was enjoying how Cas touched him unconsciously, and also how Cas was pressing softly his cock against Dean’s butt, he was enjoying it way too much, more than he should. The next thing he knew after enjoying that small touch, what’s that he was having a boner. The face he made when he noticed it was a mix between fear, awkwardness, nervousness and embarrassment. He was really blushed. More than he ever was in his entire life. He needed to get up and go to the bathroom.

He was really careful getting up; the last thing he needed in that moment was to wake Cas up and let him see his boner. He went to the bathroom as fast as he could, and closed the door. He rubbed his face. Dean couldn’t believe that he got horny with Cas. He took a deep breath. The red in his cheeks refused to disappear for the moment, and so did his boner. Dean needed to get rid of the boner, so he decided to take a shower and wank himself.

It felt really good; the water running from his head to the bath’s floor, heating his body while he moved his hand along his cock. It had been a long time since Dean did that for the last time. He bit his lip to avoid letting out a moan. He jerked off quite fast, feeling a great pleasure with every movement, feeling how the water fell down in his body and it mixed with the cum of his cock. He couldn’t believe what happened. Maybe he reacted like that because he couldn’t even remember when the last time he had sex was. He wanted to believe that. But meanwhile, he moved his hand from the top to the bottom of his cock, feeling extremely good and relieved with every move.

When he finished with the shower, Dean realized that he didn’t pick clean clothes. He swore in a whisper and took a towel, rolling it around his waist and went to his bedroom, hoping Cas wasn’t awake; he was still feeling awkward and he was sure than when he saw Cas, he was going to blush again.

Dean got in the bedroom, making not sound at all; he opened the drawer where he kept his boxers and put them on without removing the towel, if Cas woke up, he didn’t want his friend to see him naked, that what’s the last thing he needed that morning. Once he had his boxers on, he removed the towel and took a t-shirt and put it on.

“Dean—” Cas mumbled. He was awake, but he seemed to be sleepy yet. He rubbed his face and looked at Dean. “What are you doing?” He asked with his morning voice.

“I was getting dressed.” Dean answered. He was calm, something that surprised him; he didn’t expected it after the boner situation. “I took a shower and I forgot to pick clean clothes.” He explained as he folded the towel.

“You rose early” Cas yawned. He looked at Dean’s wet hair. He thought that Dean looked handsome with wet hair.

“Yeah, I know” Then Dean blushed; he remembered the touch of Cas’ hand in his hipbone and belly and how Cas pressed his cock against Dean’s butt. Dean knew that wasn’t normal, that friends didn’t act like that. He was too confused and embarrassed.

Cas half-closed his eyes, confused “Are you okay?”

Dean nodded; he was feeling nervous “Why do you ask?”

“You seem strange.” Cas didn’t know exactly what it was, but he knew that Dean was acting a bit weird.

Dean shrugged “Whatever” he said. “C’mon sleeping beauty, it’s breakfast time” His voice showed enthusiastic.  
Cas got up from bed, following Dean to the kitchen, wondering what was around Dean’s head, but he wasn’t going to ask. He knew that Dean didn’t like to talk about that kind of things, although since Cas’ was in the bunker, Dean talked a bit more about everything, something that caught out Cas. Nevertheless, he wasn’t going to ask Dean about anything, he would just let it go.

Dean thanked that Cas didn’t want to know more about his strange behavior, something that helped his to stay calm and made him act like always, although inside Dean, something strange was growing, a weird feeling about Cas. And it was getting stronger with the days.

The following days, Dean and Cas always woke up embraced, and most of the mornings Dean wasn’t reacting with a boner, but there were some that he did, because Cas was touching him of because he felt Cas’ cock pressed against him, so he had to run to the bathroom and take care of his boner without waking up Cas. The rest of the mornings, he just stared at Cas for a bit and closed his eyes, enjoying being that close to him. And most of the mornings when Cas and Dean went to the kitchen to have breakfast, Dean peered at Cas’ crotch, just for some seconds, sometimes he peered because he felt that he wanted to look and other times he felt reluctant. He was starting to feel weird about it; he didn’t know how to handle all of that, he just blushed, felt nervous and tried to ignore all of that. And Cas was feeling like Dean too. Sometimes he stared too much at Dean, he even looked at his crotch one morning, but took his sight away, he knew that wasn’t appropriate. But he liked to get a bit touchy with Dean, especially to wake up hugging Dean. He wasn’t reacting like Dean, with boners, but he was feeling really attracted to Dean lately.

Those other days, Cas and Dean were getting closer, the accidentally touches were more than frequently, sometimes they made it deliberately, but they always made the other one believe that it wasn’t. They spent the whole afternoon together, sometimes even the whole morning too. When they weren’t busy in the greenhouse or with all the stuff that was in the bunker, they were watching movies or TV series, or playing games, Dean taught Cas how to play with cards. Sometimes they didn’t spent time together, Cas liked to play chess with Sam or Kevin, and Dean liked to read, but they usually did that in the mornings and then, they spent the rest of the day together. Every time Sam caught Dean and Cas doing something awkward for them, he looked at Dean, with his sassy face, so Dean always glared him and blushed at bit, making Sam to giggle.

Dean needed Cas. They hadn’t been that good since a long time. But now, everything was good again, but Dean was starting to see Cas as something else, and he wasn’t sure about it, he didn’t want to fuck things up, Cas was his friend, nothing else, that was what he always repeated to himself, but every time he went to the bathroom to handle the boner, he was holding a name in his lips, a name that came desperately with every moan. But he wasn’t going to let that name get out from his lips. He was going to keep that name inside himself, because he was convinced that he would stop waking up with a boner and got blushed every time Cas touched him accidentally; that’s what he believed.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy this chapter, I tried to update this as soon as I could, going back to college sucks... I really like the first part of this chapter, hope you do too. Also, thank you so much for reading, really, and also, thank you for all the kudos you have left *-*

Cas and Dean were in the Impala, they were going to buy clothes for Cas. Dean and Sam’s clothes were nice, but they were too old, and some of their clothes have several holes; Cas needed his own clothes, and to choose clothes that Cas liked, he didn't mind wearing Sam's or Dean's, but he wanted to have his own clothes, so Dean offered the idea of going shopping and Cas accepted.

It was a nice afternoon. August was about to begin and the summer heat wasn’t as high as in the starts of July, something good, because sometimes the heat was a bit suffocating, but now, the temperatures were really nice.

They had the windows down, and Cas had his head leaning through the window, enjoying the air running through his face and shaking his hair. Dean looked at him laughing. H liked how the air stroked fiercely his head.

“You look like a dog!” Dean laughed.

“Shut up Dean.” Cas said glaring him, then he closed his eyes and kept enjoying the feeling of the air in his face.

Dean smiled widely. He really liked how Cas enjoyed those small things. He liked seeing Cas happy after everything. Dean only saw Cas smiling a few times when he was an angel, but now, Cas was human, and Cas was feeling emotions that when he was an angel, he didn’t feel, and Dean loved seeing Cas happy or smiling, it was great.

When they arrived at the mall, they got out of the car, Car had a really messy hair because of the air. Dean laughed; Cas looked so funny disheveled. He always had messy hair, but not like the way he had it in that moment “Let me put you hair in a less messy way” Dean said approaching Cas. He ran his fingers through Cas’ hair, making Cas to blush. When he finished, he looked at Cas and blushed too. Dean was too touchy those days, but Cas didn’t complain, he enjoyed it in fact.

“Thanks Dean” Cas said in a shy voice. Dean made a shy smile. Then they get in the mall to find a store with lots of clothes.

Cas started picking jeans, he really liked jeans, he found them really comfortable. He chose dark and light ones, and even black too, handing them to Dean, who looked at Cas with a bow raised. He was perplexed about how Cas didn’t take a long time to decide what to pick; he saw something that he liked and he picked it up.

“Have you seen if these are of your size?” Dean wondered looking at the jeans.

Cas shook his head. “I didn’t” Cas said confused.

“You have to know if they are of your size.” He sighed as he took one to see the size.

“I don’t even know which is my size.”

“It’s the same as mine, 38.” Dean said while he was looking at the jeans sizes. “You have picked all of these in different sizes Cas. The only one in the size 38 is this.” He showed him the black jeans.

“So I have to find size 38 for all of these?” He asked confused taking the jeans.

“Yes, but let me see something. Raise your arms”

Cas made his fuzzy gaze, but he raised his arms, then Dean took the black jeans and approached to Cas, trying to see if they fitted him, so he took Cas’ waist. “What are you doing?” wondered Cas getting a bit nervous with the contact.

“Seeing if they fit you. Sometimes sizes vary.” Deans answered. He took the jeans. “Yeah, 38 is your size, find all of them in the 38 size, you’ll know it by looking at the label.” Cas nodded and looked for the right size.

When he got the jeans in the right size, he handed them to Dean and looked for t-shirts, after Dean told him what size he had to look for. Cas didn’t' like t-shirts with prints, he preferred them without any print or with small prints; he picked several colors, most of them were dark colors and white. Then he went for shirts, again without any prints or patterns on it, except for a grey plaid one.

“You don’t like plaid?” Dean wondered.

“Not much. Only dark ones” Cas answered with a grin.

“Don’t tell that to Sam.”

Cas laughed while Dean made a proud smile. He loved when Cas laughed with one of his jokes. He had a sweet laughter. That was one of the things he loved most about Cas being human, the sound of his laughter, it was wonderful. Dean loved the fact that Cas could feel something more than when he was an angel, that he could laugh and smile; when Cas was still an angel, Dean wondered if Cas could laugh and how it would sound. Dean tried to remove all those thoughts from his head, but he couldn’t remove all of them. It wasn’t appropriated to think about those things, but Dean started to want something more than a friendship with Cas several days ago and he didn’t know how to manage all of that, those last days, Dean started to develop a sexual attraction to Cas; Dean was really confused by that, but he tried to look normal with Cas, because he didn’t want to scare the hell out of Cas with all the things Dean was feeling.

Cas now was picking some cotton jackets, the ones with a zip and a hood, and then he stopped at a synthetic leather one, not knowing if he wanted to pick it or not.

“Do you like it?” Dean asked curious.

“I don’t know.” Cas said with a thoughtful expression in his face.

“I think you would look really good with it.” He whispered in Cas’ ear. His voice sounded a bit needy. Cas looked at him, Dean was blushed. He realized he was really close to Cas and saying things that he shouldn’t say, but Cas didn’t seem to get annoyed, he just blushed too and looked undecided at the jacket. “You can try it out and see how you look with it.” Dean suggested, trying to look casual.

“Yes, I guess that would help me.”

Cas put on the jacket. When Dean saw him he was feeling about to have a boner. That wasn’t the best place to feel like that, but Cas seemed so badass with the jacket and really handsome. Dark colors were made for him. Dean couldn’t stop looking at Cas and hoped he didn’t have a boner. Cas was looking himself at the mirror, not convinced at all, then he looked at Dean, who was rapt with Cas’ look.

“I’m not very convinced.” Cas confessed looking a bit dissatisfied.

“Are you kidding me? You look really handsome!” Dean exclaimed. Cas looked at him shocked and blushed. Dean said that too loud. He cursed to himself and blushed from the cheeks to his ears. He knew he shouldn’t have said that. What the hell was going on with him that day?

Cas made a warm smile. “You think I look handsome with this?” He asked curious and in a flirtatious way.  
Dean nodded, still red. The son of a bitch used a flirtatious voice. Dean wasn't sure if Cas did it on purpose, but he liked Cas' tune while saying that. Dean smirked. “I really think it.”

Cas looked at the mirror again. He kind of liked how he looked with it, but he found strange seeing himself with something that it wasn’t the suit, the blue tie and the trench coat. He sighed and then smiled as he took off the jacket and handed to Dean. “I’ll take it.”

Dean smiled happily. “Good.”

“It’s weird all of this.” Cas started to say as he and Dean walked along the store. “I’ve been wearing for a long time the same clothes and I’m not use to see myself wearing other things.”

“Yeah, I know. The trench coat, the suit, the shirt and the blue tie were part of your personality. I still find it hard to picture you wearing anything else.” Dean said with nostalgia.

“I miss wearing all of that.” He sighed.

“You can wear them again if you want to, although I’d wait ‘til autumn for the trench coat.” He smiled and looked at Cas, who made a nostalgic smile.

Cas took a deep breath “I’ll wear the trench coat when autumn arrives.” He decided.

“I’m looking forward for it.” Dean said happy. Cas stared at him, trying to understand why Dean was happy to hear that. For Dean the trench coat wasn’t just a normal clothe, it was part of Cas himself; he kept it when Cas died, it always reminded him of Cas.

Cas stopped in the store and looked at a brown sweater with some strange stamps in the middle of it. He took it with a smile in his face.

“You like that?” Dean said with a disgusted face and voice.

“Yes, I really like it.” Cas answered with brightness.

“Have you seen it? You can’t really like that…”

Cas glared him “I like it.” He reproached sounding a bit angry. “I’m going to take it.” Dean rolled his eyes and sighed disturbed, showing an annoyed grimace “Don’t look at it like that!” Cas folded the sweater and took it. “You told me I could choose whatever I liked, and I like this. I’m the one who it’s going to wear it, not you.” Cas was upset, he didn’t like when Dean wanted to decide everything for him, he could take his own choices.

“I know, I know.” Dean was trying to be nice; he noticed that he pissed off Cas. “It’s just that I find it ugly” Cas was going to interrupt him, but Dean kept talking. “But you are right, they are your clothes. If you like this, then take it. ” He sighed.

“Thank you Dean.” Cas said in soft way, but his voice was still strong.

“Who knows, maybe you’d look good with that.” He shrugged and kept walking through the store. Cas made a modest smile as he face turned a bit red.

Cas picked some socks, most of them black. Dean told him that sometimes socks disappeared in washing machines and you couldn’t get them back and nobody knew where they went. Of course, Cas said that was impossible, but Dean said that it happened and Cas tried to tell Dean why that couldn’t happen by explaining some quantum physics, but Dean just told him to shut up and to took his advice, so Cas decided that if socks got lost, it would be good that all the socks were the same, so when one got lost, he could use the other one with one of the others that were left. He also picked stripped ones, trying to pick at least three pairs of the same colors for the same reason.

“Do I need something else?” Cas asked when he was done with picking socks.

“Underwear.” Dean answered looking for boxers.

“Isn’t this going to be very expensive?” He asked worried following Dean.

“Don’t worry about that Cas, we’ve got enough money.” Dean said tiredly. Cas was still worried about money, but Dean explained him that he and Sam sold on the internet some Japanese porno magazines that they found in the bunker, and people paid thousands of dollars for them, so Cas didn’t have to worry about money, but he still did it. “Okay, pick the boxers you want.”

Cas looked at all the boxers, he chose black, white and grey ones, and then he saw a pack of three boxers with Batman prints “Look Dean, I think you might want them” he said showing Dean the Batman’s boxers. Dean looked at them, he really liked those boxers, but he wasn’t sure about buying them.

“Awesome.” Dean said with a cocky smile. “But I’m not going to buy them.”

“Why not?” Cas asked confused.

“They are kindda nerdy for me.”

“Dean, you watch and talk about _Star Trek_ , _Star Wars_ , a lot of superheroes, _Game of Thrones_ and _Lord of the Rings_. That’s nerdy.” Cas said in a sassy way. Dean gave him a perplexed look.

“Sam has talked you about all of that, right?” Dean said with a done face. Cas nodded. Dean was always saying that his brother was a nerd, but Sam was a book nerd, while Dean was the kind of TV series, films and fiction book nerd, but he didn’t like to recognize it. “I’m gonna kill him.” He added in a low voice.

“You should buy them.” Cas said trying to be convincing.

Dean made a thoughtful grimace “Why should I buy them?” He looked at Cas when he asked it.

“In your words, you would look awesome with them.”

Dean blushed a lot. Cas said it without any nervousness in his voice, as he truly believed that. “You know it’s kind of awkward telling your friend that he would look awesome with some specific boxers?” Dean said rising his brows.

“You are the one who told me I looked handsome with the jacket.” Cas reminded him with a sassy face. Dean’s eyes showed embarrassment. Cas made a proud smile.

“Shut up Cas” Dean said annoyed and really blushed. Then he left the pack of Batman’s boxers where Cas found it. “Let’s go to pay all this stuff.” He said turning around. Cas picked the Batman’s boxers again and hid it between the clothes he had in his arms and followed Dean, with a naughty smile.

When they were in the cash register, Dean handed the woman all the clothes and Cas did it too; both of them were carrying all the clothes that Cas picked. The cashier started to scan the labels while Dean and Cas were seeing that nothing was missing. Suddenly, Dean saw the Batman’s boxers and he made a shocked face, while Cas was making a victory smile. Dean glared him fiercely.

“You son of a bitch.” Dean whispered. Cas’ smile got wider.

Cas outplayed him. He was kind of angry, but he was also proud of that. He looked at Cas again and made a soft smile. Then he paid all the clothes and handed all the bags to Cas.

“They are your clothes, so you carry them.” Dean said saving the ticket.

“There’s something yours.” Cas said.

“You are insane if you think I’m going to wear them.” He laughed. They were getting out of the store, towards the Impala. “You outplayed me.” He added. Cas had to move a bit faster to walk next to Dean.

“Are you mad at me?” He asked upset.

“Not much, don’t worry Cas” Dean laughed. Cas breathed relieved. He wasn’t sure if what he did pissed off or not Dean. “I’m even proud of what you did. I never expected you to do something like that.” Dean admitted as he looked at Cas proudly.

“Well, I learnt that from you I guess.” He shrugged.

“Should I take that as a compliment?”

Cas made a smile “Yes, you should.”

Dean looked down and smiled shyly. He was having a great time with Cas, he always did, but lately, Dean was enjoying Cas’ company more and more. He felt really great with Cas next to him, like he could forget all the crap that was in his head.

 

That night Dean wasn’t sleeping really well, he couldn’t sleep. Cas was sleeping next to him, he was sideways, with one of his hands on Dean’s chest, of course, Cas wasn’t conscious about that, but Dean was really glad about feeling Cas’ hand in his chest, it was heartwarming. Cas was sound asleep, breathing calmly. Dean envied him in that moment. He wanted to sleep, but his mind didn’t let him. He was thinking about Cas.

It had been less than two weeks since he started to feel something for Cas, but he was trying as hard as he could to ignore all of that, but in that moment his mind wasn’t able to ignore all of that. He was thinking that most of the time, he wanted something beyond his friendship with Cas, but he wasn’t sure if Cas wanted to, and he didn’t want to push Cas doing something that he didn’t want to and it ended up fucking things up. Dean was a real mess with feelings and all that crap.  
Dean sighed and looked at Cas again, so quiet, so beautiful. The messy black hair covered his forehead in a casual way; his chest went down and up with every single breath. Dean looked at Cas in a tender way and ran his fingers slowly through Cas’ hair, smiling. He did it as soft and slowly as he could, he didn’t want to wake up Cas. He released a deep breath and looked at the ceiling. He rubbed his face with both of his hands. He needed to sleep.

“Dean?” Cas whispered with a though voice; the one he always had when he woke up.

“I woke you up.” Dean said feeling guilty. He moved his head to see Cas. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay” He rubbed his face, removing the hand that was in Dean’s chest. He opened his eyes slowly and looked at Dean “You can’t sleep?” He asked getting more comfortable in his side.

Dean shook his head. “I can’t.” He sighed.

“Nightmares?” Cas’ voice was sweet and filled with concern.

“No. Stuff in my head that doesn’t let me sleep.”

Cas made a sad face. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“No.” Dean answered sighing. He wasn’t going to talk about all the things that were in his head with Cas. He hated talking about all that stuff.

Cas sighed. “Then it must be a really shitty fucking thing.” He said closing his eyes.

“Since when do you swear?” Dean asked surprised.

“I spent a lot of time with you, and you swear too much. It’s normal that I do it too.” Cas explained without opening his eyes. Dean’s eyes showed a tenderness and a sweetness that he never showed before to anyone.

Then Dean looked at the ceiling, a bit sad. “I’m a bad influence for you.” He confessed in a whisper, sad.  
Cas opened his eyes and raised, leaning on his elbow. “You aren’t a bad influence for me or anyone Dean” Cas was being really serious about that. Dean glared him. In that moment, Cas could see Dean’s green eyes; they were a bit glassy, while Cas’ were showing certainty.

“You are insane if you think that.” His smile was sad.

“You are the one who is insane if you think all of that.”

Dean opened his mouth a bit, in that moment he felt worth; he never felt like that before. He was sure that was the first time he felt like that. “You are one of a kind.” He sighed, looking at the ceiling.

Cas took a deep breath and lay in the bed, sideways. He closed his eyes. “You are much worthier than you think Dean.”

Dean’s heart seemed to stop for a bit with those words. He was feeling nervous and embarrassed. “Whatever Cas, just go back to sleep.” His voice sounded breathy, Cas noticed it, but he knew that Dean wasn’t going to talk about it. Dean hated talking and Cas wasn’t a great talker either, but he thought that it would be good for Dean to talk occasionally, but Cas knew that Dean was too stubborn and he wasn’t going to talk about anything.

“I wish I could have my mojo still so I could make you fall asleep.” Cas said in a whisper.

“Don’t worry; I’ll fall asleep sooner or later.” Dean said careless, but trying to be nice.

“Goodnight Dean.” Cas’ voice was really low, but Dean could hear him perfectly.

“Goodnight Cas.”

Dean didn’t fall asleep as soon as he wanted, his mind was still awake and decided to think about Cas, and sleeping next to Cas wasn’t helping, but when Cas embraced him, Dean lay sideways and snuggled in Cas’ arms, and in less than a minute, he fell asleep.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again I hope you like this chapter and thank you so much for reading!

“Checking for chases?” Dean asked. It was an afternoon. Kevin was in his bedroom, trying to translate the tablet. Sam was with his computer checking for any supernatural thing. Cas was finishing reading a book and Dean appeared on the library after organizing some of his records.

Sam nodded. “Yeah, but there’s nothing. I’ve been looking for anything that could lead to demons, vampires, werewolves, ghosts, or anything uncommon and all I got is nothing.” Sam explained shocked.

“So, nada?”

“Nada.” Sam sighed. “Not even in any other countries.”

“You have search in other countries?” Dean’s face made a shocked grimace. Sam nodded. “You’ve got a lot of free time, man.” He sat down in front of Sam and next to Cas.

“It’s just all weird Dean. Nothing is happening at all.” He sounded very concerned.

“It has to do with the angel’s fall.” Cas said without taking his eyes away from the book. His voice was quite calmed. Sam and Dean interchanged some looks and then, both looked at Cas.

“Can you explain it?” Dean asked impatiently when Cas didn’t go on.

Cas sighed and raised his sight. “When an angel falls, all the supernatural beings aren’t able to do what they usually do for a short period of time. Just for a couple of hours, if I’m not wrong.” He started explaining. “Millions of angels fell, so nothing is going to happen for a long time. They feel that something is not right and they don’t do anything. They just stay quiet.”

“How’s that possible?” Sam wondered. Cas shrugged.

“I don’t know.” Cas kept reading. He didn’t have any idea; he knew it because of some conversations he had with some angels in the garrison hundreds of years ago. Nobody knew why that could happen, but it was like that when an angel fall, the supernatural world stayed quiet, maybe some demons attacked, but nothing else. And now, the whole heaven feel, so they supernatural beings will be quiet for a long time.

“So we are on holidays I guess.” Dean said with a bit of satisfaction. “Sounds good.”

“Since when are you so enthusiastic about not doing your job?” Sam asked with a confused and sassy face.

“This last year it’s been stressful. You aren’t going to deny that some rest isn’t good.”

Sam made an agreement face and kept looking things on his computer. Dean looked at Cas. He was wearing one of the t-shirts they bought a few days ago, a dark grey one with some letters as a pattern; also he was wearing dark jeans, a bit tightened in his thighs, but they looked great on him. Cas caught Dean looking at him when he finished the book.

“Do you wanna do something special?” Dean asked, trying to hide the fact that he found Cas extremely handsome with those clothes.

“I don’t mind.” Cas answered.

“How about if we take a walk through the forest?” He suggested. Cas seemed to like the idea. Meanwhile Sam hid his giggling expression behind the laptop’s screen. Cas didn’t care about it, but Dean threw him a glare.

“I like that.” He said standing up. Dean stood up too.

“Be here for dinner, you jerk.” Sam said.

“Don’t worry; I’m not letting you eat more salad, bitch.” Dean said laughing. Sam giggled with sweetness. “C’mon Cas.”

 

Dean and Cas were walking through the forest, the one that was in front of the bunker’s main door. It was a nice summer afternoon; it wasn’t too hot and there was a nice summer breeze that caressed softly their skins.

“I’ve never been here before.” Cas said admiring the landscape. There were tall trees that covered the floor with shadows and made a pleasant sound for Cas every time the breeze shook the leaves. He always loved getting lost in the woods, listening to the sounds of the nature. He was really glad that Dean offered him to take a walk together. “I really like this place.”

“It’s awesome.” Dean agreed with a smile. “I like to take a walk around here; it’s relaxing.” They were enjoying walking there together. They weren’t walking too fast; they wanted to have a nice rhythm, in order to appreciate the place.

After walking for some time, they arrived to a riverside. Dean sat down in the grass, while Cas was still standing there, looking at the place; he found it wonderful.

“Are you gonna stand there?” Dean asked in a sassy way.

Cas sat down, next to Dean, without leaving much space between them. “I love this place.” Cas admitted looking everywhere. Dean smiled; Cas looked really enthusiastic about the place.

“I guessed that you’d like it.” He said proudly.

“How did you find it?” Cas asked curious.

Dean blushed a bit. He found that place when Cas was disappeared, before he ran away with the angel tablet. He didn’t saw of hear anything from Cas for a long time. One morning he was really frustrated that he needed to breathe some air and got into the woods and he found that place. When he felt suffocated, he went to that place. 

“One day I needed to take a walk and I ended up here.” Dean simply answered; he didn’t want to talk Cas the whole story about that. Cas made a half smile and kept looking at the landscape.

“I really appreciate that you have taken me here.” Cas said with a happy smile.

Dean looked at Cas; he seemed so handsome with the sunlight. His skin was in his natural color, not in the pale and sick one he had when he arrived at the bunker after his long journey. His black hair moved along the breeze and his eyes shone in a special way. He could feel the nice smell of Cas, it was blended with the forest’s smells and Dean was loving that smell. He could feel the warm that Cas’ body released.

Cas didn’t seem to notice the way Dean was looking at him. He closed his eyes to feel the soft breeze in his face. Dean made a big smile and kept looking at Cas. He was feeling better than ever.

“Cas—” Dean said nervously. Cas opened his eyes and looked at Dean, waiting him to tell him something.

Dean approached Cas and kissed him. Cas’ opened his eyes widely, shocked, he wasn’t expecting that. Dean put his hands in Cas’ cheeks while he kissed him. It was being an awkward kiss, Dean knew it, he was afraid about Cas’ reaction, but his fears disappeared when Cas reacted. Cas closed his eyes and kissed Dean back, running his fingers through Dean’s short and brown hair.

Their mouths were getting wet and warmer. They were tasting each other’s lips, trying to taste as much as they could of those lips. Dean was moving his mouth passionately, feeling Cas’ lips, trying to know them perfectly, he didn’t want to stop, he wanted to feel the touch of Cas’ lips on his as much as he could. They were soft and sweet, but also at the same time they were salty. Cas was tasting Dean’s lips too, they were tender and also, sweet and salty like his. He couldn’t believe that he was kissing Dean; he wanted that for a long time, although he always hid it so well. Their chests were getting hot; there was a warmth running in their bodies that was growing up with the kiss.

Dean stopped kissing Cas to breathe, keeping just a few inches between their lips. He slipped his thumb by Cas’ lower lip, and bit his own, looking at Cas’ mouth. Cas was looking at him.

“I thought—” Dean whispered looking at Cas’ eyes “I thought you didn’t want to—”

“I have always wanted.” Cas said whispering too. “I thought you didn’t.”

“I wanted. We are so idiot.” Both made a nervous smile.

“Yes, we are.”

Cas threw himself against Dean’s lips to kiss him again. He was fisting Dean’s t-shirt so he could get Dean closer. Dean made a smile while Cas kissed him for that. Then, Dean’s fingers toured Cas’ hair and pressed Cas’ face against his. They were feeling really good. They wanted that for so long and now they were kissing and they were feeling better than in a long time.

They stopped kissing again in order to breathe. They smiled happily and kissed again. Cas kissed Dean like he was his oxygen, taking Dean’s air from his lungs; Dean shivered; he couldn’t remember that last time he felt that. He stroked Cas’ arms while he kissed Cas like he was the best thing he ever taste, and it kind of was like that.

Dean started playing with Cas’ nether lip at the end of every kiss. Cas laughed with that; Dean wanted to hold Cas’ lips on his as much as he could. He could kiss Cas forever, and Cas wouldn’t disagree about that, he would accept it.  
Saliva was soaking their lips; they didn’t know how many times they kissed, they lost count, they were focused on kissing, on the touch of their lips, the feeling they got, the strokes they gave while they were kissing, how they slipped their fingers through each other’s hair, the feeling of being breathless, how they could feel their warm and their hearts beating fast, finding quite difficult to breathe, but it was a great sensation.

They needed that; they wanted that for so long that in that moment, it was almost impossible to stop. After all their awkward moments and insomnia nights thinking about the other one, kissing was a great relief, a great feeling for both of them.

“You know, it’s getting dark.” Dean said after a while. He saw it was being late afternoon. “We should go back to the bunker.”

Cas caressed Dean’s lower lip “Can’t we stay here a bit more doing this?” Cas begged. Dean smiled proudly and gave him a short kiss.

“We can do this later in my bedroom.” He whispered in Cas’ ear. Cas shivered feeling Dean’s breathing in his ear. Then he bit his lip and looked at Dean with desire.

“I like the idea.” He said it blushed. Dean smiled while he bit his lip. Then he stood up. Cas did the same.

They didn’t say anything in the way back home. They were blushed but with a huge smile on their faces; it was the first time in a long time that they were really happy.

Cas grazed Dean’s hand; he wanted to hold Dean’s hand, but then he pulled it away, ashamed. Dean noticed it and saw it, so he reached Cas’ hand and held him, getting his face redder. Dean wasn’t a fan of holding hands, but he wanted to hold Cas’ hand so much. Cas looked at him and tightened Dean’s hand, approaching himself to Dean, giving Dean a sweet kiss in the cheek. Dean closed his eyes and smiled at the touch of Cas’ lips in his cheek. It was a bit ironic that after kissing for a long time, they were still getting blush with those silly things, but they didn’t care.

When they arrived at the bunker, Sam looked at them wondering why they seemed so happy. Neither Dean nor Cas said something about it; they just tried to look as they always did. Dean made dinner and the four ate when it was ready, and as always, it was delicious. Then, Dean, Cas and Sam washed the dishes and Sam was dying to know if something happened between them, but he didn’t ask anything, he didn’t want to make Cas feel uncomfortable, and he knew that Dean would fuck him off. 

Once they were done, Cas and Dean went to Dean’s bedroom. Dean closed the door, and when he was going to turn around to face Cas, he kissed him so hurriedly that Dean was pushed against the door. Dean embraced Cas while he kissed him.

“You couldn’t wait more?” Dean asked when Cas pulled away his lips. Cas shook his head and looked at Dean with desire. Dean smirked and stroked Cas’ back and pulled him closer. Cas smiled naughtily and cupped Dean’s face, so Dean kissed him, softly and slowly, making Cas melt down. “How about we make out?” He suggested with one of his brows raised. He wanted to touch Cas, to feel most of Cas’ body beneath his skin and his hands.

“I’m not familiar with that term.” Cas answered confused.

“We get rid of most of our clothes, leaving just the boxers and we kiss while we do this.” Dean’s hand went from Cas’ back to Cas’ hip and moved his hand beneath Cas’ t-shirt, caressing Cas’ chest, making Cas let out a low moan. He loved the touch of Dean’s hand in his skin.

“Yes, I think we should make out.” He said shaking. Dean laughed and approached his mouth to Cas’, but without kissing.

“Don’t be nervous.” Dean whispered, and then he kissed Cas, relaxing him.

He moved Cas to get him closer to the bed and both sat down. Dean started taking his boots and socks while Cas observed and then he took his too. Dean saw Cas taking his sock off and he kissed his neck; Cas made a lovely sound.

“Dean—” Cas said before biting his lip. Dean kisses were gentle and he loved how wet was Dean’s mouth. He wasn’t expecting to feel such pleasure in his neck.

Dean moved his hand along Cas’ thigh, without stopping the kisses in Cas’ neck; he wanted to kiss and touch for so long. After some moments, he looked for the jeans’ button. He unbuttoned them, but Cas was the one who took them off, and also, Cas took Dean’s jeans off too. The hunter smiled and he caressed Cas’ thigh, that was naked, while they were kissing.

Cas’ hand went for Dean’s chest; he moved his hand beneath Dean’s t-shirt, softly, feeling beneath his fingers Dean’s naked skin. It was surprisingly warm.

“Cas, wait.” Dean said pulling away. He removed Cas’ hand and took off his t-shirt. He was feeling nervous, both actually were, although they were just going to make out, not having sex, but neither of them had seen each other just with boxers, and they couldn’t help getting blushed and feeling nervous. And of course, Dean was a bit scared about Cas, because he knew that Cas didn’t do that ever and he may find it awkward, but Cas seemed to be quite excited about all of that despite of his nervousness.

Cas looked at Dean’s naked chest for a moment. He liked what he saw. Then he remembered that he still had his t-shirt on, so he took it off too. Dean bit his lip when he saw Cas shirtless. He took Cas by his hips and approached him, so Cas started to kiss Dean’s neck and collar bone, taking Dean by his nape. “Cas—” Dean moaned in a whisper while he stroked Cas’ chest softly, ending up with one of his hands in Cas’ hair. 

Cas started to suck Dean’s neck passionately, biting it carefully, he wanted to taste Dean as much as he could. The hunter bit his lip and closed his eyes, tightening with his fingers Cas’ silky hair and moving the other hand to Cas’ low back. Dean knew tomorrow his neck would have hickeys, but it was worthy; the touch of Cas’ mouth sucking him was sublime.

After leaving kisses in Dean’s neck, Cas kissed Dean in the mouth. While they were kissing, Dean took Cas’ hips and moved Cas, so he could sit in Dean’s lap, with his knees leaning in the mattress, while Dean was sitting in the edge of the bed. Cas smiled and stroked Dean’s naked chest. Dean cupped Cas’ face and approached him and kissed him. Cas leaned when he felt Dean’s tongue inside his mouth; wanting more. Dean wanted to taste Cas’ mouth, and Cas felt how Dean’s tongue moved inside his whole mouth and Cas wished he didn’t stop ever. He held himself in Dean’s nape, moving his bottom, so Dean could feel Cas’ cock beneath his, only separated by their boxers; it was a strange feeling, but he was liking it. Dean held Cas by his hipbones, bringing him closer. Cas smiled and looked at Dean, who was staring at Cas’; both of them were breathing fast because of the last kiss, but after some seconds, Dean kissed Cas again.

Cas’ back curved when he felt Dean’s tongue again in his mouth, he never expected to enjoy it so much. Then, Cas moved his tongue with Dean’s, making Dean to shiver through his body and being surprised by the touch. He moved his hands from Cas’ bottom back to Cas’ blades. Cas pressed his face even more against Dean’s, scratching their cheeks and their chins; Cas’ tongue pushed into Dean’s mouth, wanting to taste Dean’s mouth and Dean tightened Cas softly by the neck, feeling Cas’ tongue inside his mouth, loving every second of it.

After that, Dean moved his tongue with Cas’, playing with it, until their lungs ran out of air. Cas made a low whine when Dean stopped kissing him; he needed Dean’s mouth touching his. Dean smirked. “Don’t worry; I’m not done with you.” Dean whispered in a sensual way that got Cas excited.

Dean kissed Cas again, with his tongue in Cas’ mouth, but this time he did it in a more passionate way, longing Cas’ breath, feeling beneath his fingers Cas’ jaw, moving as they kissed, but also feeling Cas’ hands sliding down his chest, to rest in his hipbones. They were feeling really good.

Cas pulled away his lips, panting; his chest was going up and down quite fast against Dean’s, it was a bit hard to breathe. Dean kissed Cas’ jaw and went down to Cas’ neck, sucking it; Cas closed his eyes and bit his lip, feeling the pressure of Dean’s mouth in the sensitive skin of his mouth, leaving saliva and marks along it. Cas stroked Dean’s shoulder and held Dean’s hair.  
When Dean arrived to Cas’ collarbone, he stroked Cas’ tights, slowly. Cas shook his body with the touch. Dean was touching him, Dean was kissing him. “Dean—” Cas said whispering a moan.

Dean parted his mouth from Cas’ collarbone and looked at Cas, without stopping the strokes. Cas opened his eyes and looked at Dean’s, so green, so shiny, so beautiful. He cupped Dean’s face with his hands and kissed him, with passion and sweetness, and for some moments, both forgot where they were, they just felt they were alone in the world and nothing else mattered. They spent a long time kissing, touching and stroking, until they didn’t have more oxygen in their bodies.

A soft kiss was given by Dean before they got inside the bed to lie down and fall asleep. Then, Cas kissed him with tenderness, tasting the hunter’s lips. Dean embraced him and Cas approached his body to Dean’s, burying his head behind Dean’s chin. Dean blushed and tightened Cas even more, while Cas moved his arms to find a comfortable posture; he finally ended up with his hands touching Dean’s chest.

“That was really nice.” Cas confessed closing his eyes.

“Yeah, it was.” Dean agreed. He kissed Cas’ temple. “Goodnight Cas.”

“Goodnight Dean.” He whispered.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My apologies for the delay, but finally, here's the chapter. Thank you so much for the comments, the kudos, the subscriptions and the bookmarks, and of course, thanks so much for reading.

Morning arrived. Dean and Cas were almost in the same posture they were when they fall asleep, the only difference was that their legs were even more tangled. Dean woke up a few moments ago. He was feeling great. It was the first time that he and Cas were embraced and he didn’t have to move away from Cas: they could stay like that all the time they wanted to.  
Dean could appreciate the smell of Cas’ hair, a blend of sweat and that shampoo he used. He could also feel Cas’ breath in his throat, synchronized with the movement of Cas’ chest. And also, he could feel Cas’ warm body, stick to him. Dean was feeling really good.

He squeezed himself against Cas and pressed gently his chin in Cas’ head, closing his eyes and making a warm smile.

“Hmm?” Cas gesticulated. Dean opened his eyes.

“Hey Cas” Dean said kissing his forehead. Cas smiled sweetly, but he still had his eyes closed. Then, Dean ran slowly his fingers through Cas’ hair; Cas seemed to enjoy that.

Cas gave Dean a soft and short kiss; he was still half asleep. Then he buried his head behind Dean’s chin and laid his hand in Dean’s hipbone. Dean started stroking Cas’ arm. “Sleep a little bit more” Cas suggested.

“I’m not sleepy. I’ve slept pretty well.” He said with a smile.

“Me too. But I’m too comfortable here to wake up. I want to sleep a bit more” Cas’ voice was as pasty as every time he woke up. Mornings weren’t for him; he liked to stay in bed lingering.

“You are such a laggard. Millions of years without sleeping and now you love it” Dean laughed in low tune. He kissed Cas. Then, his stomach growled. “I think I’m going for breakfast.” He said pulling away and sitting on the edge of the bed.

“You could stay here with me.” Cas offered. He opened his eyes, with a sweet look on them. Dean turned his face to see him. He thought in that moment that Cas looked really handsome. He had his morning hair, so messy. The sheet only covered Cas from the waist down, showing the naked chest. And his eyes looked so blue with the light that the small window let in.

Dean smiled “Just sleep a bit more Cas.” He lay down again and kissed Cas, cupping his jaw. It was still strange to him to be able to kiss Cas, but he loved it. “We have all day to do this stuff.” He gave him another kiss and Cas held the hand Dean had in his jaw.

“Okay.” He said looking at Dean. The hunter got up from bed, searching for a t-shirt. “Leave me some breakfast.” He added closing his eyes and covering himself with the sheets.

Dean laughed. “You should tell that to Sam.” Cas made a warm smile before snuggling himself in the bed. Before Dean left the bedroom, he looked at Cas with a pretty smile on his face and then, he went to the bathroom, as he always did, to urinate and to groom; then, he went to the kitchen and started making breakfast.

As most usually, kitchen was empty. Kevin usually got up earlier than all of them and made himself a fast breakfast; he did it to focus as soon as possible on the angel tablet, other days, he liked to wake up as late as possible. Dean used to wake up before Cas and Sam, and he was the one who made breakfast for the three of them. That day he was going to make pancakes. Sam loved them; he always did, since he was a little kid, although Dean’s pancakes had improved since the first time he did them. And Cas loved pancakes too, he asked Dean for pancakes most of the mornings, Cas loved how tasty and fluffy were, and Dean loved seeing Cas’ expression while he ate them.

“G’morning.” Sam said rubbing his face. His hair was kind of messy, but Sam just needed to pass his hands through it to make it look almost perfect; of course, after breakfast, Sam always combed his hair so it was completely perfect.

“Morning to you too, Sam.” Dean said putting some pancake’s dough on the griddle

Sam went for his mug to serve himself some coffee when he saw some bruises in Dean’s neck. He approached Dean and looked at them, ensuring that they weren’t just some bruises, they were hickeys. Dean looked at him without understanding what was he brother looking at. Sam smirked. “Had fun with Cas, right?” Sam said cockily. Dean blushed a bit. Dean never felt shy with any of his relationships, but with Cas he couldn’t help to blush. Cas was different from all the people Dean had known and there was something different inside Dean that made him felt something that he never felt before when he was with Cas.

“Yeah, any problem with that?” Dean said arching one of his brows.

“Not at all.” Sam’s smile got wider and started giggling, moving towards the coffee machine. “I was wondering when it would happen.” He confessed.

Dean turned around the pancakes that were in the griddle. “What do you mean with that?” He asked curiously.

“C’mon Dean! You have a more profound bond.” Sam started to explain. “You have always looked at him in a way that I’ve never seen you do before. We all knew there was anything else between you two. It was just a matter of time that you two ended up going beyond those intense looks.”

Dean released the pancakes from the griddle and put some more pancake’s dough. “You are so cheesy.” Sam rolled his eyes. “Don’t roll your eyes.”

“You aren’t even looking at me, how do you—”

“Because I know you.” Dean answered turning his face with a proud smile to see Sam. 

Sam chuckled. “You seem really happy.” Sam said with a sweet voice. Dean looked at the griddle.

“Yeah, I am.” He said a bit shy and in a low voice.

“I’m glad about it.”

Dean looked at Sam, who looked so happy. He was making a smile that Dean didn’t see for years. Dean didn’t know what to say, although Sam knew exactly what he brother was thinking. Dean made a grateful small smile and kept doing pancakes.  
When all pancakes were done, Dean put them in the table, where Sam was waiting for them impatiently, they looked and smelled really good, and before Dean could sit down, Cas appeared, rubbing his face. He looked so cute when he had just woken up.

“Hey, you woke up at time for breakfast.” Dean said looking at Cas. Then he approached him and kissed him passionately. Cas wasn’t expecting the kiss, so at first he opened his eyes a lot, but then, he closed them and enjoyed the kiss. Sam looked at them giggling. Cas was blushed when Dean stopped the kiss. Dean dedicated him a naughty glance and sat down. Cas looked down a bit embarrassed because Sam was there.

“Don’t worry for me Cas.” Sam said; he noticed how blushed Cas was. “I’m used to see Dean doing all these things.” He raised his brows, trying to remove some pictures of his mind that he didn’t want to remember. “You made Cas uncomfortable.” He pointed out referring to Dean.

Dean looked at Cas “C’mon Cas, sit down, I’ll serve you some coffee.” Dean said standing up. He kissed Cas’ cheek before going for a mug. Cas looked at Dean with tenderness and sat down. When Dean gave him the coffee, they started having breakfast.  
Sam looked at his brother and Cas very happy. He wasn’t sure when was the last time he ever saw his brother as happy as he was in that moment; Dean only seemed that happy with Sam, but in the last few years, those moments were just a few because of all the stuff that happened, but it was great to see Dean smiling again in that way.

 

After breakfast, Cas decided to go to the greenhouse; the plants that Dean and him planted were sprouting and he liked to see how much they grow per day, and also he watered them. After that, he decided to cut some branches from one of the oldest plants because it was starting to grow wider and it obstructed walking. He was so concentrated that he didn’t hear Dean coming.

Dean gave him a kiss in the nape, surprising Cas. “I told you to wear gloves.” Dean said resting his chin in Cas’ shoulder.

Cas rolled his eyes. “I can cut something without getting myself cut.” Cas said in a tired way. Dean held Cas by his hips, pressing their bodies. Dean liked to feel Cas’ body so close to his. Then Dean kissed softly Cas’ neck; Cas giggled. “If you keep doing this I’ll have an accident with the secateurs.”

“I can stop if you want me to.” He whispered. He looked at Cas with a cocky gaze.

Cas turned around to face Dean, he dropped the secateurs on the floor and took Dean’s face in his hands and kissed him. Dean felt his legs waver with the kiss. Cas was getting better with kisses; he felt like Cas took all the oxygen he had in his whole body, and he needed to kiss Cas because he was his oxygen. Dean fisted Cas’ t-shirt and approached Cas, he wanted to feel their hips colliding. He moved his tongue in Cas’ mouth and Cas pressed himself against Dean, running his fingers through Dean’s hair as he moved his tongue with Dean’s. Cas was feeling wild with that kiss.

“I like it when you kiss me like that.” Cas whispered. He had his lips touching Dean’s, but without kissing. Dean made a proud smile.

“I know.” He smiled “I’ll let you get back to work.” Dean said pressing a short kiss in Cas’ lips. He pulled away, and walked towards the door, leaving Cas there.

Cas looked how Dean walked away with a smile on his face. It was weird; he never expected Dean to be with him. He wanted for a long time to be with Dean, but he was sure that Dean didn’t. Dean was always really uncomfortable with Cas being close, but sometimes Cas thought that Dean really wanted him. Every time Dean told him something like _don’t ever change, you are family, I’d rather have you, I need you_ and all that kind of things, Cas could see that Dean wanted him; but then again, something went wrong and Dean was really pissed off. Cas was afraid to screw things up again. He was scared of doing something that hurt Dean; he had already suffered a lot, he didn’t need anymore. He sighed. That time it would be different. Cas would stay with Dean, he wasn’t going to leave him.

 

In the afternoon, Dean and Cas helped Sam cataloging some books, it wasn’t really exciting, but they had some laughs together. Even Kevin helped them, who looked at Sam when Dean kissed Cas’ cheek, trying to know if they were together. Sam didn't say a word, but with his expression and his smile, Kevin got his answer. It was a nice afternoon for the four of them, for a moment, they all felt that their lives were normal, and it felt really good.

 

After dinner, Dean decided to watch some chapters from the original series of _Star Trek_. Cas made some popcorn; Dean taught him how to use the microwave some weeks ago. The first time Cas put some minutes more than he should have and some of the popcorn were burnt, but this time, he made them perfect.

“Haven’t you burnt them?” Dean asked when Cas arrived with the bowl.

“No.” Cas said very proud. He looked that Dean was with his legs stretched along the sofa. “Move your legs Dean, I can’t sit.” 

“Sit in the edge and cuddle with me.” He explained taking the popcorn’s bowl from Cas’ hand.

Cas liked the idea, everything that involved being close to Dean, made Cas really happy, he loved to be so close with Dean. Cas sat down and stretched his legs as Dean had; Dean put his hand in Cas’ belly and pulled him closer. Cas blushed a bit and then he accommodated himself with Dean. “I like this.” He said with satisfaction. Dean kissed his temple. “Where’s the popcorn?”

“I’m not going to give you the popcorn.” Dean said in a cocky way. “I’ll have all of them for myself.” He was kidding, but he loved how Cas reacted when he provoked him.

Cas was looking for the bowl. Dean left it behind the armrest. Cas moved to reach the bowl, but Dean started tickling him and Cas shook his body. “Dean!” Cas exclaimed looking a bit angry. Dean’s smile got wider.

But Cas wasn’t going to surrender, so he decided to tickle Dean too, the hunter starting shaking and making funny noises. In a moment, Cas raised his body to reach the bowl, but Dean took him by the hips and pulled him back. Cas knew that Dean wanted to play with him, so he was going to play with him too, this time, they wouldn’t have to stop and look awkward at each other because now they were more than friends, so they could do things like that without feeling awkward. 

Cas tickled Dean’s hips and Dean tried to remove Cas’ hands, but he couldn’t; Cas’ hands now were beneath Dean’s t-shirt, running really fast that Dean was laughing with his eyes closed. Cas was laughing too, that was being really funny.

Cas released one of his hands while the other one was tickling Dean and took the bowl. He let out a successful sound. Dean looked at Cas’ happy and satisfied face, laughing. Cas moved his hand away from Dean’s chest and hold the popcorn bowl tightly. Dean kissed him after that. He put his thumb in Cas’ chin and kissed him softly and sweetly. Cas melted with that kiss so much that it was really easy to Dean to steal him the bowl. Cas hit Dean’s arm, putting a funny face that made Dean smirk. He was with his arm stretched, putting the bowl as far as he could from Cas.

Suddenly Cas kissed him and lay his whole body over Dean’s. He pressed his tongue against Dean’s mouth and held him by his nape, rocking his body softly. Dean put his free hand in Cas’ hair and leaned the other arm in the armrest, so Cas could reach the bowl and then, when he got it, he sat down and stretched his legs, as Dean was, with the bowl of popcorn in his hands, smirking.

“Well played.” Dean said smirking too, pulling Cas closer.

“Thank you.” Cas said happily.

Dean cuddled Cas and he approached the bowl, so Dean could reach the popcorn; Dean thanked it with a soft kiss in the lips. Then, they watched _Star Trek_.


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here it is where the explicit content starts.  
> Anyway, thanks a lot one more time for reading, for the comments, the kudos, the subscriptions and the bookmarks, I know this isn't a great fic, but thank you for spending time on reading it. I really appreaciate it.

Dean and Cas were all the afternoons and nights together. Some nights they played some games with Sam and Kevin, other nights only with Sam, but most of the time, they spent it together. They liked to watch movies or TV series together with their usually fight for popcorn, but most of the nights, they went to the bedroom and make out.

Every morning, when they woke up, unless Cas was sleeping or lingering, they tended to cuddle, kiss and stroke each other until Dean’s stomach made a noise, meaning that he wanted breakfast. But before that, they spent several minutes together, feeling each other’s warm bodies and kissing.

After a few days, Dean was wanting to do something more, he loved making out with Cas, it was great to kiss Cas and to touch him after wanting to do that for a long time, but he wanted to go a bit further; they just were making out, but nothing else, they always left their underwear on and they only touched and kissed where they didn’t have clothes on. They could feel sometimes their cocks when one of them was sitting in the other’s lap, but that touch was spoiled by the boxers. Dean wanted to do something else, but he knew that Cas was new to all of that and he was a virgin; Dean didn’t want to push him into something that he may not like or sometinhg that he wasn't sure to do, and also, he didn’t know how to talk about it with Cas. Dean was going to wait until Cas wanted to go beyond making out, he would wait all the time that Cas needed, even if that meant that Dean felt a bit sexually frustrated, but he didn’t want to fuck up things, not this time.

Some mornings, Dean woke up earlier with a boner, and luckily, Cas was still asleep and he could go to the bathroom to take care of that. Other mornings, Cas was awake and he tried to keep a distance between his cock and Cas’, so Cas couldn’t feel it, avoiding every single touch from Cas. Dean hated it, but it worked.

At least, when they made out, his cock stayed quiet, but lately, that was being really difficult. He knew that making out never ended with sex, he knew it for past experiences and that was what it made his cock stay quiet, but trying to not have a boner with Cas touching him, kissing him and feeling him, was starting to get harder with the days.

Although all of that, Dean kept enjoying being with Cas. They could hold a bit more. He didn’t want to rush things with Cas, so when he felt that Cas was ready for something else, he would say it. Until then, they would stay as they were, making out and kissing and stroking; that felt really good despite of the constant feeling inside Dean that wanted him to do something more.

One morning Dean was awake, but he felt his body wasn’t, so he was lingering on the bed, with his eyes closed and without moving. Cas was with his arms embracing Dean, who liked to be the little spoon and Cas knew it well. Dean could feel Cas’ breathing. After some minutes, Cas seemed to wake up and moved closer to Dean. Dean didn’t move or say anything, he was kind of tired from moving some heavy boxes the day before, but he was still awake. Suddenly, Dean felt Cas’ cock pressing him, and Cas pulled away as fast as he could, trying to not make a sound.

“Damn it.” Cas whispered getting out of bed. He was really blushed. He left the bedroom, hoping that Dean didn’t wake up.

When Dean heard the door closed, he opened his eyes and giggled. He knew that Cas was now in the bathroom trying to handle his boner and feeling so embarrassed. His graceless angel was in that moment jerking himself off; Dean couldn’t believe it, but he was kind of happy.

Cas went to the bedroom for clothes; it happened the same thing that happened to Dean one morning he was in that situation, although they weren’t together yet. Dean pretended to be sleeping while Cas got dressed and then he pretended to wake up. He didn’t mention anything of that; he noticed how blushed Cas was and he didn’t want to make Cas more uncomfortable. Instead of that, Dean gave Cas a good morning kiss to calm him down and then they went for breakfast together, trying to hide his smile. They would have to talk about that when Cas wasn’t feeling so embarrassed.

Almost a week passed since that and it was the third time that Cas woke up with a boner. The last time Dean was still sleeping, but Cas pulled away so fast that Dean woke up, he could see Cas’ face again and he knew that Cas was going to the bathroom to take care of it.

Cas didn’t told Dean about his boners; Dean knew about his last boners, but he didn’t know about the others Cas had. Before Dean noticed it for the first time, Cas had some of them, but Dean didn’t woke up and luckily, Cas was the little spoon, so Dean couldn’t feel his cock and it was easier to hide it. But those two last times, Dean was aware of Cas’ boners, although Cas didn’t know it. Cas wasn’t uncomfortable with having boners, he could take care of them easily, but he wasn’t sure what he had to do with them once he was with Dean, and he didn’t know how to tell Dean about it. He was really lost with anything related with sexuality and he always felt nervous, so he didn’t want to disturb Dean or do something with Dean that could disappoint him.

That morning, Dean was the little spoon, and Cas was squeezing Dean against him, in a soft way of course; when Cas woke up, he could feel his cock was hard, so he released his arms from Dean and tried to get up from bed, he was going to go to the bathroom and jerk himself off, but Dean turned around to see him.

“Cas.” Dean said. Cas blushed a lot in his cheeks, being the rest of his face really pale. He opened his eyes a lot, he was shocked. Dean approached Cas, who was sitting on the bed, without moving a single muscle, he didn’t know what to do or say. “Don’t go to the bathroom to take care of the boner.” He added. Cas’ face went even paler except on the cheeks, that were redder than ever. He couldn’t look at Dean, he was embarrassed. Dean raised himself to be sitting in the bed as Cas was. Then he cupped Cas’ chin and moved his face to see him. “I can take care of it.” Dean offered looking him with sweetness. Cas stared at Dean’s eyes. He bit his lip. He was feeling nervous. “But only if you want me to.”

Cas swallowed. He was really nervous, and Dean wasn’t helping with looking at him like that. “I—” Cas started saying. He didn’t know what to say. He looked at Dean’s lips and then at Dean’s naked chest (last night they made out, so they took off their t-shirts). He wanted to, but he was really nervous about Dean looking at him all naked. He didn’t have a problem when he had his boxers on, but he was feeling nervous knowing about taking them off, and also, he was nervous because he didn’t know what to do when Dean took care of his boner. He really wanted to feel Dean touching him, but he was extremely nervous; his heart was beating fast and cold sweat was starting to run through his head.

Cas didn’t say anything, he just sat there with his mouth opened. Dean saw that Cas was feeling awkward so he gave him a sweet kiss in the lips. “If you don’t want me to, you can go to the bathroom. There’s no problem at all.” Dean said. His voice was soft; he wanted to make Cas feel less uncomfortable.

“I want you to—” He didn’t finish the sentence. Dean looked at him unsure; he knew that there was some doubt on Cas’ eyes.

“Are you sure? You don’t have to do it if you don’t want to.” He cupped Cas’ face and stroked with his thumbs Cas’ cheeks. Cas made a warm nervous smile.

“I want to.” Cas said convinced. He was still blushed but he wasn’t as pale as before. Dean kissed him, softly.

“Lay down.” Dean said when he pulled his lips away. Cas laid down, with his back in the mattress and looked at Dean, who was still sitting on the bed. He moved the sheet down, until he could almost see Cas’ belly button. He wanted to remove it at all, but he wasn’t sure if Cas would like it. “Would you like me to remove the sheet at all or should I let it like this?” He asked staring at Cas’ blue eyes.

“I— I’d rather leave it like that.” He answered with difficulty. Dean nodded. Cas envied how Dean was so calmed. Dean lay down next to Cas’, with his side touching the mattress. “Should I take off my underwear?” He asked turning his face to see Dean’s. Dean made a shy smile.

“Yeah.” Cas took his boxers with both of his hands and then he threw them to the floor. Dean took his and did the same. “I’ll go slowly.” He said approaching Cas’ face.

“Okay.” Cas said a bit breathy.

Dean kissed Cas’ lips, then he went down his neck and collar bone, pressing gentle kisses that wouldn’t leave hickeys. Then, he caressed Cas’ neck and descended towards the chest. With his fingers he stroked Cas’ nipple, something that tickled a little bit Cas. Dean looked at Cas with a smile. Cas was biting his lip and staring at Dean’s hand, which was circling Cas’ nipple, making Cas to let out a tiny moan. Dean went his sight back to Cas’ chest and moved his hand to Cas’ belly. Cas was loving Dean’s gentle and slow strokes on his skin, he was still nervous, but Dean’s touches were relaxing him a bit.

Dean’s hand was now almost where the sheet was starting to cover Cas’ hard cock. Cas was feeling nervous and a warm feeling started to appear inside him as Dean's hand approached his hard cock. Dean looked at Cas who stared him back; that meant that Cas wanted Dean’s hand to go further, so Dean moved his hand and reached Cas’ cock with his hand. He took it in his hand and he moved it down the shaft slowly. Cas let out a moan. It was a new sensation for him and although Dean just started, he was enjoying it already.

“Do you like this, Cas?” Dean smirked as he moved his hand up and down. Cas nodded biting his lip.

Dean tightened his hand in Cas’ cock, moving it from the head to the bottom a bit faster. He looked at Cas, who was doing a silent moan and fisting the sheets. Dean smirked and he kept moving his hand in that speed.

The feeling of Dean’s hand in his cock was awesome. The way it moved along his shaft, making him shiver and arching his spine was really amazing for Cas. Dean twisted his wrist and pulled Cas’ cock harder. Cas’ back curved even move, lowering the sheet that covered them a few inches and he looked at Dean with passion and desire. It was great to be touched in that way; Cas loved it more because it was Dean the one who was touching him in that way, making him feel something that he never felt before. It was a burning sensation running through his whole body and a pleasure filling every single small part of his body.

“Dean, oh—” Cas moaned. Dean smiled; he was enjoying touching Cas’ cock, hearing his moans and looking how his body moved every time that Dean pulled harder.

“How about if I just do this?” Dean asked pressing the head of Cas’ cock. Cas shook his hips and made a loud moan and closed his eyes.

“I like that.” He said breathily in a moan.

Dean couldn’t help a proud smile. It was great to finally touch Cas and making him moan that way, he had been waiting for that for days, to feel the last part of Cas that he hadn’t touched yet and hear Cas moaning in that way thanks to him. He squeezed the top of Cas’ cock and moved his thumb in circles. Cas was shaking his whole body while Dean pressed his cock. When Cas used to jerk off in the bathroom, he felt pleasure, but the amount of pleasure of that was nothing compared with the way Dean was touching it. Cas was loving it. Every single stroke, movement and press was delightful.

Cas opened his eyes and looked at Dean. It wasn’t fair that he was the only one enjoying it; Dean deserved to be touched too, and also, Cas wanted to feel how it was to touch Dean the way he was being touched. “Dean, I want to touch you too.” Cas said putting his hand in Dean’s head. His voice was needy and breathy.

“All right Cas” Dean said laying over Cas.

Cas embraced him, pulling him closer and he kissed him, he moved his tongue with Dean’s, and then, he moved slowly his hand from Dean’s shoulder down, to find Dean’s cock. Dean pulled his mouth away to release a moan. Cas was stroking his dick and he started moving his hand along his shaft. Dean looked at Cas’ eyes and bit his lip. Dean rocked his hips with the touch. Cas’ hand was gentle at first, but then, it tightened in his cock and he started moving it faster with every stroke. Dean was so happy that Cas was finally touching his cock and making him to shudder, it was a great sensation.

“Oh fuck, Cas—” Dean moaned with pleasure. Cas smiled proudly.

“Is this good?” Cas asked as he moved harder.

“Oh yeah.” He said breathy and closing his eyes.

As Cas kept moving his hand, stroking it quite hard in Dean’s cock, Dean was shaking his hips. Cas’ hand was gentle but at the same time it moved quite hard and fast. Cas tried to change the angle so Dean could have more pleasure with different moves, making Dean to shook his whole body and to moan.  
His hand was getting wet with Dean’s cum; he was enjoying that feeling, he was enjoying to touch Dean and to be the reason of those moans. He pressed the head of Dean’s cock with his thumb and Dean let out a loud moan. Cas loved the sound of Dean’s moans.

Suddenly, Dean took Cas’ hand, the one that was in his cock, pulling it away from Dean’s cock; Cas looked at him confused and watched Dean took both cocks in their hands. “Let’s do it together.” Dean whispered. Cas bit his lip and looked at Dean with passion.

Their hands started moving along their cocks. They could feel how their cocks were touching and how they were getting wetter with every movement. Their hands were together, moving and changing the speed at the same time. Dean’s hips were rocking against Cas’ and Cas’ spine was curving most of the time, as well as Dean’s. They were staring at each other’s eyes and smiling when the other one moaned. Cas had his free hand tightened in one of Dean’s blade, while Dean had his free hand in Cas’ thigh.

Dean was now pulling a bit faster, shaking his cock and Cas’ together and Cas followed Dean’s rhythm, feeling more pleasure than before, so they were moaning at the same time. Cas had to close his eyes and Dean half-closed his; he wanted to do that until they couldn’t more. Cas back curved more and pressed himself against Dean; he was feeling Dean’s cock touching his and Dean’s hipbone colliding with his; he tightened his hands more and he moved his hand with Dean’s faster, making Dean lean his forehead in Cas’ and closed his eyes. Cas’ cock was pressed against him, surrounded with their hands moving up and down.

After some more minutes, their hands started moving slower, rushing their last strengths until all cum was released. They were panting and their hearts were beating really fast, but it was worth. They were covered with sweat and cum, with their bodies being a bit sticky because of the sweat, but it felt really good. Cas released his hand from their cocks and kissed Dean in a dirty way that Dean enjoyed too much; he moved away his hand from their cocks and took Cas by his hipbones.

They were breathing fast; they were exhausted, so Dean decided to lie down next to Cas, so both could breathe easier. Dean turned his face to see Cas, who had a satisfied face; Dean had it too.

“This’s been pretty awesome, huh?” Dean said panting. Cas turned his face to see him.

“Yes, it was.” Cas agreed. He was really exhausted, but he was feeling better than ever. He felt like fire was running through his veins, but it was great, he was feeling too good. He reached Dean’s hand and held it. Dean tightened it, with a huge smile on his face.

They looked at the ceiling, trying to recover their breaths and their normal temperature; they were boiling. The sheets were barely covering their groins; they could see were their hair started growing, but their bodies’ temperature was quite high that sheets would disturb them if they were covering their whole bodies.

“Dean.” Cas said less panted than before. Dean looked at Cas, who was a bit blushed and also, a bit nervous.

“What is it Cas?” Dean wondered.

Cas bit his lower lip and looked at Dean’ crotch, covered by the sheet. “Can I— can I see you all naked?” He asked in a shy voice.  
Dean smiled in a cocky way. “Remove the sheet.” He said with rogue eyes and with one of his brows rose.

Cas moved his hand slowly towards the sheet, with Dean watching his hand. Cas caught the sheet and removed it. Dean stared at Cas’ face and examined his expression.

“Like what you see?” Dean asked naughty. Cas bit his lip and nodded. He really liked Dean’s body. Dean laughed and took Cas’ face and kissed him passionately, as he wanted to take all the air from Cas’ lungs, tasting Cas’ sweet mouth. “I would like to see you naked too.” He said whispering. They weren’t kissing, but their lips were touching. Cas looked spellbound at Dean’s eyes.

“Then, remove the sheet.” Cas said in a murmur. Dean made a surprised face at first, and then, he made a rogue smile. He removed the part of the sheet that covered Cas and looked.

“You look really good with nothing on you.” He said kissing Cas. He ran his fingers through Cas’ hair while Cas cupped his face. Dean could feel how Cas was smiling during the kiss. They moved their bodies closer, so they could feel each other’s skin. Dean pushed his tongue inside Cas’ mouth and Cas moved his with Dean’s. They were feeling how they cocks touched again and they tangled their legs. Dean moved his hands to end up in Cas’ back. Cas was swinging his hips slowly and he squeezed himself against Dean even more, leaving no space between their bodies.

They kept kissing for a long time, until Dean got up to take a shower, he was sweating and there was cum in his body. He left Cas in the bed, who was looking at Dean naked, who was looking for his clothes. Before leaving, he kissed Cas again and then, he went to the bathroom (Cas would go after he was done), feeling both of them extremely good after all the action.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know that I say this in every chapter, but thank you so much for reading, I mean it, really, thanks for just spending a bit of time of your time reading, and thank you for the kudos, the comments, the subscriptions and the bookmarks. Thank you so much.

It was one of those cold summer days; it was raining all morning and there were thunders too, and in the afternoon it was hailing. It was a common thing in summer; the sun heated up too much that all the water got vaporized and with the airflows, clouds ended up too high and the water they had, it froze, so it produced hail.

Temperature in the bunker fell some degrees so all of them had to put one more layer on; they weren’t going to switch the heat, it wasn’t cold enough for that and they wanted to save energy for the cold winter days.

Cas was in the library, sitting in the carpet, he loved to sit there when he was reading. He was wearing his awful sweater, the one that Dean didn’t want him to buy, but they did it anyway. It was really warm. He felt more than anyone how low temperature got; his body wasn’t used to that as any other human’s body, after several years being an angel feeling no cold or hot, Cas was really sensitive with extreme temperatures and the sudden changes of them, so whenever temperature changed up or down a couple or degrees, his body seemed to feel it too much, so the sweater was adequate to warm him that day.

Dean was busy fixing some shelves. The cloves were rusty and needed to be changed. One of the shelves fall the day before and Dean didn’t want to have an accident, that was the last thing they needed; so he was removing the old cloves and putting new ones with Sam’s help.

Once Dean ended up fixing the shelves, making sure that they won’t fall again, he made three cocoa cups, he always made it when he and Sam were kids and they were in a motel room alone in a cold day, it was cheap and easy and it made his little brother to feel a bit warmer. Dean made one for his brother, who was in that moment with his laptop and greeted the cocoa with a happy and nostalgic smile, and the other two for himself and Cas.

“I can’t believe you are wearing that.” Dean said when he arrived at the library. Cas rolled his eyes; he had been through that conversation with Dean before.

“I like it.” Cas said without taking his eyes away from the book.

Dean sat down in the carpet, next to Cas. “Take this” He offered the cocoa cup and Cas took it. Cas had his hands covered with the sweater sleeves, leaving only the tips of his fingers uncovered.

Cas smelled the cocoa cup and closed his eyes, feeling how his hands heated up with the hot mug. It smelled extremely good; then he sipped it. It tasted delicious and it was really hot, perfect for a cold afternoon like that one. “It tastes delicious.” He said with a smile, drinking it again.

“I’m glad you like it.” Dean smiled. He took a sip from his cocoa. “You have that awesome leather jacket and you decide to wear this…” He looked bothered. Cas glared him.

“First of all, it’s synthetic leather, and second it’s not as warm as this.” He said uptight. He sipped again.

“You could wear the jacket and a shirt and a t-shirt beneath.” He explained with an obvious face.

Cas snorted. “It’s easier to put just the sweater on.” His eyes half-closed and gave Dean a foggy and tired look.

“Yeah, but you look so sexy with the jacket.” He raised his eyebrows and Cas giggled but he still had a small glare in his eyes.

“I know, you said that I looked really handsome, remember?” Cas’ voice was rogue. He made a smile while Dean blushed.

“Oh crap, I was really embarrassed for saying that so loud.” Dean confessed looking up. Cas laughed.

“Your face went red.”

“Yeah, and you asked me in flirtatious way if you really looked handsome.” He remembered looking at him with a funny face, making Cas laugh louder. Dean kissed him in that moment. He loved Cas’ laughter, he loved making him laugh. He melted down every time he heard Cas laughing.

Cas licked his lips when Dean pulled away. He liked the taste that was left on his lips after Dean kissed him. Dean tasted so good and he loved that remaining that was left on his lips every time they kissed.

“You should wear the jacket now.” Dean insisted.

“If I wore it right now you’d have an erection.” Cas said before drinking a bit of cocoa.

“Yeah, probably.” He laughed. “But we could take care of it.” He added with a smirk and one his eyebrows raised. Cas made a smile and rolled his eyes.

There was a silence between them. Cas kept reading, sipping his cocoa while Dean watched him. Although the sweater was ugly, Cas looked pretty with it; sweaters suited him, even if they were ugly as fuck. And he looked so cute with the sleeves stretched hiding his hands, only showing the tip of his fingers. Dean couldn’t help a smile. It had been a couple of months since Cas became human and he was starting to do some human things that Dean never expected him to do. It was weird to see Cas that human, but he liked it. No mattered what Cas was, an angel, a human or whatever, Dean liked Cas anyways.

He approached Cas’ ear “You look really handsome right now.” Dean whispered.

Cas shivered; he wasn’t use to Dean whispering to his ear, although he liked it. He looked at Dean confused. “I though you didn’t like my sweater” Cas said messed up.

“And I don’t. But you look hot with it.” Dean explained to Cas’ ear before pressing a gentle kiss in Cas’ neck.

“I’m not hot, I’m quite warm.” He didn’t understand what Dean was trying to say. Dean chuckled and rested his chin in Cas’ shoulder. There was his Cas, being confused with that kind of expressions. Dean loved that about Cas. He could be human now, but he would always be confused about human expressions. Dean smiled widely.

“It’s an expression Cas.” He started to explain, Cas looked at him with attention. “When somebody tells you that you look hot with something, it means that you look handsome or sexy.”

“Oh, I understand now.” Cas said. He didn’t understand exactly why that expression meant that, but he let it go.

Cas drank the remaining of the cocoa; when he removed the mug, Dean saw that above Cas’ upper lip, there was a cocoa mustache, and also there was cocoa in his upper lip too. Dean started laughing and Cas gave him a confused glance. “You’ve got cocoa.” Dean pointed out. Cas was going to remove it, but Dean stopped him; he cupped Cas’ face and kissed him to remove the cocoa. Cas was smiling while Dean kissed him in that funny way.

“Dean.” Cas laughed between kisses. Dean was tickling him a bit when he was trying to remove the remaining cocoa on his mouth.

It was really nice to lick Cas’ lips, the taste of his lips blended with the taste of cocoa was delicious for Dean. “I guess there’s no more cocoa remaining.” Dean said when he stopped kissing Cas.

Cas bit his lip and smiled; then he went back to his book while Dean rested his head on Cas’ shoulder. He just liked being with Cas, although he was just staring at him, close to him, without saying a word; it was really nice.

“You are a bit cold.” Dean said after a while. He felt that Cas’ temperature went a bit down.

“I’m feeling a bit cold in my back.” Cas said careless.

“Wait here.” He stood up and left the library, leaving Cas with a perplexed look in his eyes.

Cas kept reading, waiting Dean to come back; when he did it, he was with his hands behind his back, trying to hide something, and with a shy smile on his face. Cas tilted his head as he always did when he was confused, seeing Dean approaching. When he was close enough to Cas, he showed what he was hiding. It was Cas’ trench coat. Dean put the trench coat around Cas’ shoulders and then he sit down next to him.

“Better?” Dean asked.

Cas nodded. “Yes, but I have a better idea.” Cas said. Now Dean was the one who looked confused. Cas made him a sign with his hand that meant that he wanted Dean to be closer; Dean approached Cas even more, so Cas snuggled with Dean and then, he moved the trench coat to Dean’s shoulder so both could have their backs covered. Dean smiled and embraced Cas.

Dean was feeling great in that moment. Cas was in his arms, reading, and both were covered with Cas’ trench coat. He didn’t know why he was thinking how that would last. He was still scared about Cas leaving. They were together, they were a… What were they? A couple? Lovers? Friends with benefits? Dean wasn’t sure. The only thing that was different was that now they kissed, they touched each other, cuddled and they made out and they made handjobs to each other. They didn’t have sex in the sense of the word, but he wasn’t worried about that at all; he and Cas liked to wank each other when they felt to, and Dean liked that. But then again, what were they exactly?

Why he was trying so hard to put a name on the thing that he and Cas were having? It was just stupid. They wanted to be together and do all the things they were doing. They were going slow, but it was because Dean didn’t want to push Cas so fast to do something; Cas was new to that whole thing of having a relationship, he could have seen humans having sexual or romantic relationships for years, but he didn’t have much idea of what they consisted on and Dean didn’t want to fuck things up with Cas again. He was broken enough after the angel’s fall. Cas didn’t talk about it again; he only did it when Dean asked him to, but he never talked about it ever, he didn’t tell more details about it and Dean was sure that he hadn’t forgotten it, he was sure that it was in his mind and he had nightmares about it sometimes, and Dean was sure that Cas hadn’t forgiven himself yet.

Dean wasn’t going to talk about it, although he wouldn’t be bothered to listen to Cas. He thought that Cas would need to let all that crap out, but Dean knew that Cas wasn’t ready yet, and maybe he wasn’t it too. He hated talking about all that stuff, he sucked at talking. That was the reason why he was afraid to ask Cas if he would stay there with him this time.

He was afraid of the answer. What if Cas left as soon as he could? It was so easy for Cas to leave him, why would this time be different? Because now they have a stronger relationship? That wasn’t going to avoid Cas leaving. He was free to leave if he wanted to, but Dean didn’t want him to leave. Every single time that Cas left him, his heart broke. He didn’t know where or how Cas was, he didn’t know if he would come back to him. But this time, Cas had a home, he had a family, he had Dean, maybe he wouldn’t leave this time. Now things were different between them, they were pretty good, then, why would Cas have to leave if he had all of that?

Dean tightened Cas between his arms. He didn’t want him to get away. Dean was sad in that moment, although his face hid it. He didn’t want Cas to notice or see that he was sad and worried. Dean forced himself to forget about all those things. He was with Cas in that moment, that was what mattered. He kissed Cas’ temple and Cas smiled. Dean loved when Cas smiled with his kisses. They had known each other for almost five years and before they started being together, Dean barely saw Cas smiling or laughing, it was great to see that Cas smiled and laughed. 

Cas cupped Dean’s jaw and kissed him, with one his sweet kisses, being gentle with his lips, like if he was afraid of hurting Dean’s lips. Cas dedicated Dean a beautiful smile and kept reading, while Dean tightened Cas a bit more. Cas could leave him one of those days, but right now, Cas was sitting with him, with the trench coat covering them, he was reading and being embraced by Dean, wearing that ugly sweater, and he didn’t seem like he wanted to move away from him.


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the chapter! One more time, thanks for reading, for the kudos, the bookmarks, the subscription and the comments. It's great to write and know that people like this. Thank you so much to every single person that spend their time reading.

It was late night. It had been hours since Dean and Cas went to bed. That night they watched _Star Wars Episode V: The Empire Strikes Back_ together. It was Dean’s favorite. He was getting Cas into _Star Wars_ , something that made Dean really proud because they could discuss together about _Star Wars_ , although Cas sometimes went too scientific and said things like “When ships explode they can’t make sound. There’s no sound in space!” But for the rest, Dean liked to talk about his favorite movies with Cas; it was great to talk about things like that with him. After watching the film, they went to bed to fall asleep, it was quite late. Cas fell asleep pretty quick; Dean fall asleep minutes later.

Dean was dreaming. At first it was a nice dream, he was in the Impala, driving through a nice road with a beautiful landscape. Then he found a door in the middle of the road and decided to open it. That door lead up to the bunker. He got inside the bunker; it was dark and everything in there was in black and white. He walked through the bunker, trying to find something or someone, but it was empty.

Suddenly, Cas appeared, he wasn’t in black and white, but there was something strange with him, a strange thin darkness drew his silhouette. Cas approached him, Dean wanted to say something, but he couldn’t, he was voiceless. As Cas approached, he could see the anger in his eyes. 

“I’m leaving. And it will be forever.” Cas said.

Dean felt how his heart broke in million pieces; he wanted to say something, or do something, but he couldn’t, he was standing there, motionless, voiceless, feeling how something dark was coming for him at it was consuming him, smashing him slowly. Cas left him there and moved Dean away with fury. Dean saw how Cas vanished in a white light.

The dark thing was taking over him; he had to kneel, the weight was too much, he could feel how it was breaking his bones slowly, he couldn’t hold on more. Nobody could help him in that moment.

Cas appeared again from nowhere; Dean could only se Cas’ mouth, the rest of the face was in darkness. Cas ducked and crossed with his hand Dean’s chest, to take away Dean’s heart and breaking it in more pieces.

Dean woke up and let out a loud breath and shook the bed with his body; he felt like he didn’t breathe for years. Cas opened his eyes slowly.

“Dean?” Cas asked in a low upset voice. His hand was in Dean’s chest, which was now going up and down really fast. “Dean, what’s it?” Cas’ voice showed concern. He looked at Dean really worried.

“A nightmare.” Dean answered trying to breathe. At first he wasn’t sure where he was, he thought that he was still in the dream, but when he felt Cas’ hand in his chest, he started remembering where he was.

“It’s okay Dean.” He said hugging Dean, who held Cas too, he wanted to clung Cas in that moment. Cas gave him a sweet kiss in his temple. “I’m here Dean, everything’s going to be okay.”

Cas had an awful nightmare several nights ago. He remembered how Dean calmed him with nice words, some hugs and a kiss in his forehead. Cas knew how awful dreams could be, and he wanted to make Dean feel better. He stroked Dean’s head fondly. Dean pressed his face against Cas’ throat and Cas tightened Dean with his arms. Dean needed to be held by Cas, he needed to feel Cas was there, that he was protecting him, no breaking him, he wanted to feel the warmth of Cas’ body, wrapping him. He had never felt so fragile. Cas wished he could still feel his wings so he could hug Dean with them, although Dean couldn’t be able to feel them, but Cas’ wings would have protected Dean and made him feel even warmer. But Cas couldn’t feel his wings anymore, so he just embraced tightly Dean, trying to make him feel warm and safe in his arms.

After some minutes, Dean relaxed; his breathing was normal again and he wasn’t feeling that bad, only a bit, but not much. He pulled away slowly, with Cas looking at him worried.

“Are you better?” Cas asked. His voice still showed concern.

Dean tuned around to lay his back on the mattress. “Yeah, thanks for that.” Dean thanked looking at Cas, who made a soft smile; he was running his fingers through Dean’s hair. Dean really liked that, it calmed him a lot. “Sorry for waking you up.” He apologized rubbing his face.

“Don’t worry.” He kissed his cheek. “I’ve never seen you like that.”

“Yeah I know. It was an awful nightmare.” Dean didn’t want to talk about it. He closed his eyes for a bit, enjoying how Cas ran his fingers through his hair.

“You are sweating.” Cas observed. Dean didn’t realize it until that moment. He had his face covered with cold sweat. He passed his hand through it to remove it.

“I don’t know if I’ll be able to fall asleep again…” Dean said annoyed, taking a deep breath.

“Maybe I can do something to keep you busy meanwhile, until you feel like sleeping again.” Cas suggested with a casual face. Dean looked at him with a gaze that was a mix of surprise and strangeness.

Dean wanted to ask Cas if he was referring to what he was thinking, but he couldn’t ask it; Cas placed himself above Dean and started kissing him. Dean moved his hands to Cas’ back while Cas had his in Dean’s face. Dean felt Cas’ tongue in his mouth and he knew that Cas was talking about what he was thinking.

Cas took off Dean’s t-shirt and throw it away. Dean did the same with Cas’. Cas kissed Dean fiercely, as if he hadn’t kissed him for years. Dean’s spine curved and put his hands in Cas’ head, with his fingers covered with Cas’ hair, trying to keep Cas’ mouth in his as long as he could. He felt how Cas’ hands went to his boxers and took them off, then, Cas took his off and pulled the sheet and the quilt down, he liked being able to see Dean’s whole naked body.

Cas started kissing Dean’s neck, sucking some places of it that would leave him hickeys. Dean made a sweet noise; Cas liked kissing his neck and sucking it, he loved the taste of Dean’s skin and to leave his marks in his neck, showing that he was the reason of those hickeys. He kept kissing Dean, he was now in his collarbone; Dean loved the touch of Cas’ lips in his skin, especially when they were fiercely and passionate; he bit his lip when he felt Cas’ hand caressing his nipple at the same time that Cas kissed him. Dean felt great every time Cas touched him, he couldn’t believe that they spent years putting stupid personal space between them, although those last couple of years, personal space was almost non-existent, but they never touched each other in that way. Every time they touched, fire arose inside them, a fire that neither of them felt before in their lives.

He was getting down. Cas’ mouth was now in Dean’s belly, and also his hand, making Dean had tickled. Now Cas was kissing his hipbone and sucking it fiercely; he wanted to leave another mark there. Dean was really turned on; his cock got hard when Cas started kissing his neck, and now he was really horny. Cas looked at him with desire; Dean looked at him back, with the same look, biting his lower lip; then, Cas’ mouth went downer and he started to give him a blowjob.

“Holy shit, Cas—” Dean moaned. He wasn’t expecting Cas to do that, he didn’t even know that Cas knew what a blowjob was.

Dean felt Cas’ mouth on his cock, moving up and down along the shaft, in a passionate way. He could feel Cas’ tongue licking with every movement, working on his cock in a perfect way, making Dean to feel really good and really turned on. Dean had to fist the sheets with that touch. He spread his legs and curved his back, chinning up a bit in the pillow. It was starting to be a bit difficult to breathe for Dean. Cas’ fucking mouth and tongue were working on his cock, and it was a great sensation. He shivered every time he felt Cas’ tongue swirling and licking. His cock was getting wet with Cas’ saliva and after some moments with his own cum too.

Meanwhile, Cas was tasting Dean. It was salty and wet; it tasted really great. He was enjoying too much licking Dean’s cock and moving his mouth along it. After a few movements and licks, his mouth was getting filled with Dean’s cum, a blast of taste that was pure Dean. Cas found the taste a bit weird at first, but after some moments, he was loving that taste, it was very different from everything that he had ever tasted, it was an unique flavor; it was Dean’s flavor. He swirled his tongue and Dean moaned; it was a wonderful sound for Cas.

Cas moved one of his hands to place it in Dean’s cock, and moved it along while he licked Dean’s cock, swirling his tongue in a gentle way. Later he put his hand back to the hipbone and sucked Dean’s cock again. Dean’s hips shook. Cas was licking, kissing, stroking and sucking his cock and Dean was feeling extremely good. He had to close his eyes, he couldn’t keep them opened anymore; the sensation was too much, he felt how a sudden blank flooded his head and how breathing was now getting a bit difficult, but he didn’t care because Cas’ mouth on his cock felt too good. 

Dean let out a silent moan when Cas was in the top of his cock, licking. Dean removed his hands from the sheets to place them in Cas’ hair, gripping it, tightening it when the feeling of Cas’ lips or tongue was more than pleasant. He needed to hold himself in Cas. He tightened Cas’ hair in a hard way that sometimes it could be a bit painful, but Cas didn’t mind, he liked how Dean grip him, he was delighted.

“Cas— fuck, don’t stop—” Dean moaned in a needy way. Cas made a hussy smile.

Cas stared at Dean whenever he could, he wanted to look at him as much as he could, and when he looked at him, he saw the faces Dean was making and loved them; Dean was feeling a great pleasure, and Cas was proud of being the one who was giving Dean that pleasure, to be the one who made Dean shook his whole body, to moan his name, becoming an orgasm.

He kept moving his mouth and tongue, tasting every part of Dean’s cock, exploring it with his mouth. He loved Dean’s body; he always loved it, since the first time he saw it, but now, that he could see it without any clothes on it, Cas loved it even more. He wanted to know, to touch and to taste every single part of Dean’s body. He gave him some kisses along the shaft, making Dean to make a hussy smile as he jerked his waist with every press of Cas’ lips. Again, Cas swirled his tongue and Dean let out a noisy moan that Cas adored. Dean’s back curved and he titled his head to the pillow. Cas was now in the head of his cock again, but now, he wasn’t only feeling Cas’ tongue, he was feeling Cas’ thumb too. It was being extremely good for Dean. He was finding it harder to breathe, his chest was burning and his heart was beating really fast, but the feeling of Cas’ mouth and tongue working on his cock was awesome.

Cas kept sucking Dean’s cock, enjoying every single taste of it as Dean’s cum filled his mouth. He was feeling really good to do that, to taste Dean in that way and to make him shiver like never before, hearing those wonderful sounds that Dean made, especially when Dean said his name.

After some minutes, Cas sucked the last of Dean’s cum, now with a gentle movement.

“Cas—” Dean moaned.

Cas finished with Dean’s cock and looked at Dean, who still had his eyes closed and his mouth opened. Dean opened slowly his eyes to see that Cas was lying over him. Dean was panting; Cas was it too, but not as much as Dean. He saw that Cas still had a bit of cum in his chin and he removed it with his thumb.

“Fuck— that was awesome.” Dean said. Cas smiled with satisfaction.

Dean kissed him fiercely. Cas’ mouth, lips and tongue had the taste of his cum and Dean liked it. They twisted their tongues in the kiss, doing it in a dirty way. Dean parted his lips from Cas’ and looked at Cas’ blue eyes.

“Where did you learn to do that?” Dean asked curious. Cas blushed.

“The pizza man’s movie.” Cas answered with a shy smile. Dean laughed. “I wanted to make you feel better.” He added as he stroked Dean’s nipple.

“You succeeded.” He raised his eyebrows and smiled in a rogue way. Cas leaned his head in Dean’s shoulder; Dean kissed his forehead. “Although you should have been touched a bit, I shouldn’t—” Cas interrupted him with a kiss.

“I enjoyed it really much.” Cas said.

“Yeah, but—” Now Cas interrupted him by putting his finger in Dean’s lip.

“Just shut up Dean.”

Dean smiled and Cas leaned his head in Dean’s shoulder again, stroking slowly Dean’s chest, as Dean stroked Cas’ arm. Dean closed his eyes and breathed slowly, being really calmed with Cas resting above him, feeling their skins. He loved that; the both of them lying together and naked, while they were stroking slowly and gently each other, feeling their warm bodies. Dean felt really calm and nice when they were like that.

After a while, Cas moved to lay next to Dean; he knew that Dean liked when Cas was above him, but after some moments, he needed Cas to lay next to him so he could breathe better. Dean opened his eyes and embraced Cas, pulling him even closer. It was strange, Dean never liked cuddling, but with Cas was different, he wanted to cuddle him. He liked how Cas pressed his lips in his neck while he leaned his chin in Dean’s shoulder, how Cas embraced him, holding him by the hips and how he liked to tangle his legs with Dean’s. Cas was really different from anyone Dean had ever met or dated. Cas made him feel different than anyone he had ever met.

Moonlight got into the bedroom, illuminating slightly the bed where Cas and Dean were, giving a tenuous white light to their bodies, remarking the shadows. Their skins looked whiter than usually because of the color of the light, but their eyes shone in a special bright way. Dean looked at Cas’ body and thought that it looked so pure with that light, so perfect and beautiful; seeing the lines that drew his body, the shape of his muscles and the gentle and strong curves. Cas was admiring Dean’s body too, he liked every part of it, the curves and the shapes, the big amount of freckles spreaded in his whole body, how the muscles were marked in some parts of his body; he even liked the small scars that he had in some places. If they could, they would stay all night long looking at each other, laying down naked, feeling each other’s skin against its own, stroking and kissing. They felt really relaxed when they were like that.

Some moments after, Dean searched with his hand Cas’ and hold him. Cas made a soft smile and hold Dean’s hand, tightening it. Cas liked to hold hands. Dean nuzzled Cas’ hair and Cas seemed to purr; Dean laughed at that, and Cas did it too, but softer. Then Cas pressed a soft kiss in Dean’s neck.

“I really liked the sounds you made.” Cas confessed squeezing himself against Dean. The hunter blushed at bit and Cas saw him and made a pretty smile. “You are blushed.”

“I’m not use to hear that.” Dean said staring at Cas. His hand went from Cas’ arm to his bottom and stroked it, moving his hand towards the thigh. Cas’ skin was really soft in that place. His skin was most of the time soft, but in the places where sun barely touched his skin, it was extremely soft.

“And I also liked how you tasted.” Cas added, biting his nether lip. 

Dean’s face went redder. “Y’ know that’s something that people don’t normally say…”

Cas laughed. “I like making you feel uncomfortable.”

“Yeah, I know it.” Dean said pretending to be annoyed. “You are an expert on that.” Cas laughed. “Although I like when you talk dirty to me.” He smirked.

Cas made a confused face. “Talk dirty?” He asked.

Dean rolled his eyes and made a sweet smile. “It’s when you say that kind of things like that, y’know things that are sexual but that you can’t say to everyone.” He explained. He wasn’t sure how to explain that to Cas, because he was sure that Cas wasn’t going to understand it.

“I don’t understand why it’s that considered dirty.” He said half-closing his eyes.

“Just—” Dean sighed. “It’s an expression, Cas, don’t try to find its logic.”

“Fine.” He took a deep breath. “But I still find it strange.” He made an annoyed grimace. “Anyway, I wasn’t trying to _talk dirty_ ; I really meant that I like how you tasted.” He looked at Dean in a serious way.

Dean blushed a little bit. Then, he made a funny face and kissed Cas. “Don’t ever change.”

Cas’ eyes looked like he was falling in love with Dean when he heard those words, he could feel his heart beating faster. Dean, meanwhile, was looking at Cas like he did when he went back from the journey to 2014 that Zachariah gave him. Cas kissed him fiercely, thanking those words. Dean found it hard to say that kind of things, but when he said them, it was from the bottom of his heart and they meant a lot. Cas knew it.

They lay down, embraced, with their hands holding, leaned in Dean’s belly, feeling their bodies that were so close that there wasn’t any space between them, waiting for sleep to come over them.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter, I'm not really happy with it but I wanted to write a little bit about Dean's frustration and fear, well, you'll see it as you read.  
> Anyway, one more time, thank you for reading, for the kudos, for the comments, for the subscriptions and the bookmarks, I'm really happy about knowing that people like and enjoy this fic. So thank you.

Dean couldn’t sleep. The nightmare he got some days ago left him with more thoughts and doubts, although Cas calmed him down that night in a really good way. However, those thoughts about Cas leaving him were still there, in his head. They should talk about it, he knew it, but Dean was a stubborn, and he didn’t want to talk about all those things with Cas. He hated talking, but he was avoiding that topic because deep inside, Dean was afraid of the answer to the main question; will Cas stay with him?

Cas was that night the little spoon; Dean was embracing him. He was sleeping soundly, with a calm breath. Dean envied him; he wished he could sleep that night as good as Cas. He thought about waking Cas up and they could make out or something, but Cas needed to sleep. Dean wasn’t going to wake him up every time he had trouble sleeping. He loved talking in bed with Cas and touching each other, but Cas needed to sleep, and Dean too, although for Dean it was being almost impossible.

He pressed a kiss in Cas nape and then he got out from bed. He knew that if he kept moving Cas would woke up, and he didn’t want that. He covered Cas, making sure that he didn’t get cold; summer nights were warm, but Dean didn’t want Cas to feel any cold at all. He looked for his sleepers when Cas was well covered and left the bedroom. He decided to go to the kitchen and eat some cookies; he was feeling a bit hungry at that time.

He switched on the kitchen lights; he half-closed his eyes because of the sudden light. He didn’t need to switch on the hall lights to get there, so his eyes were used to the darkness and that amount of light was really annoying, but after a few minutes, his eyes got used to the light and Dean looked for the cookies’ jar.

When he found them, he thought it would be nice to have a cocoa mug to accompany the cookies, so he prepared himself one. He liked the smell of cocoa, maybe because his mother used to do cocoa when he was a little kid. He smiled with yearning. He was a little kid when her mother died, just four years old, but there were memories of her that he could remember clearly, as if just a few years passed instead of decades.

Dean shook his head. It wasn’t the time to think about sad things; he already had some crap going through his head, he didn’t need old memories too. He sighed and smelled the cocoa that was already made and took the mug with him, sitting in the chair.

Sometimes Dean couldn’t believe that he had a home. The only home he knew for years was the Impala, and it still was his home, but now the bunker was it too. He never expected to have a home, to wake up in the same bed for more than three days, have a kitchen and cook for everyone, have a place where he could rest and spent time… It still was strange for Dean, but he liked living in the bunker.

Did Cas feel that the bunker was his home? Dean hoped that the answer to that question was yes. He didn’t understand why he was still asking himself that kind of questions and wondering if Cas would leave him some of these days. They were really great, better than ever in fact, then, why was he keep worrying about all that stuff? He kind of knew why. It was because Cas always left. No mattered what, where or when, he always disappeared. He had his reasons, although some of them were bullshit, nevertheless he still left. He always seemed to care about Dean, to do everything for Dean, he always said that, and even saying that, Cas left anyways. Dean was afraid of Cas leaving. He was always afraid of people leaving him. People always left him, and with the years, that hurt more and more. He was through that with Cas a lot of times, and he wasn’t ready for another one. Every time that Cas left him without a word, Dean felt a huge pain in his heart.

Dean knew that sooner or later Cas would find something that would lead him to leave. And then everything would be a fucking shit like always. Dean praying to him, although now he couldn’t do it, Cas was human and he wasn’t able to hear his prayers. Dean sighed. He didn’t want things to be ended up like that. He wanted to be good with Cas, but nothing in Dean’s life seemed to be good. Something bad always happened and he was the one who had to suffer the consequences. He didn’t deserve that. They didn't deserve that. It was frustrating.

“Dean?” Sam asked, interrupting his thoughts.

Dean raised his sight from the table, looking at Sam, who had messy hair and was rubbing his face. “Hey, Sammy.” Dean said trying to look fine.

“What are you doing here?” Sam approached the table.

“I couldn’t sleep, so I came here to eat some cookies and have some cocoa.” He pointed at the food as he explained. Sam sat down and took one cookie “And you?”

“I went to the bathroom and I saw the light on, so I came here.” He explained as he chewed the cookie. “Are you okay?” He asked when he swallowed.

“Yeah, why?” Dean lied.

“You don’t look like it.” Sam made a suspicious grimace. Dean shrugged, ignoring his brother. “Have you argued with Cas or something?” He picked another cookie.

“No” He said with a smile. “No, we’re good.” He said trying to sound like everything was fine.

Sam suspected that Dean was lying a bit, but he knew that if he asked, Dean was going to lie more, so it was better not to ask. His brother wasn’t a great fan of talking. “Okay.” He said after a while and picking another cookie.

“Dude, stop eating my cookies” Dean protested pulling the cookies’ jar away from Sam.

“It’s everyone’s cookies!” Sam said annoyed.

“You have your freaking rabbit food.”

Sam rolled his eyes. “You are a like a child.” He snorted. Then Sam took one of the cookies Dean had on the table and put it on his mouth. Dean made an angry face while Sam smirked. “I’ll leave you with your cookies.” He said with his mouth full. Then he stood up and left Dean there.

Dean sighed and kept eating cookies and drinking his cocoa until there wasn’t any cocoa left in his mug. He washed the mug and then he went back to his bedroom. He tried to be as quiet as possible so Cas kept sleeping, but when he sat on the bed, he felt Cas’ arms wrapping his waist. The graceless angel liked to hold Dean as much as he could, he needed to feel Dean’s warmth.

“Where were you?” Cas asked in a sleepy voice. Dean held Cas’ hands.

“In the kitchen.” Dean answered. He laid aside in the bed so he could face Cas. “How long have you been awake?”

“Just some minutes.” He answered careless. “Why were you in the kitchen?” Now his voice had a worried tune.

“I went to the bathroom and I felt hungry, so I went to the kitchen.” Dean lied. He wasn’t going to tell Cas the truth; that he was in the kitchen because he couldn’t sleep about all that damn crap in his head.

“Oh, I’m glad to hear it was because of that.” He said relieved. He buried his head in Dean’s chest and Dean embraced him.

“What did you expect?”

“Something bad.”

“No Cas, it was just that.” He kissed his forehead. “And how are you awake?”

“I wasn’t feeling as warm as usually, so I woke up.” He explained yawning. Dean nodded and made a strange grin.

“Just go back to sleep Cas.” Dean said. Cas nodded and gave him a kiss in the lips.

“You taste like cookies.” Cas whispered pleased.

“Yeah, and cocoa too.” He smiled. “Goodnight Cas.”

“Goodnight Dean.”

Cas fall asleep in just some minutes, while Dean was still awake, but with his eyes closed. He tightened Cas, as if he was afraid that someone took him away from him. He pressed his forehead against Cas’ and took a deep breath. In that moment, he was feeling a bit suffocated, he had a pressure in his chest that it was being a bit painful. His head was making that, he knew it. That never happened to him before, it was like a small panic attack and he was hating it. He wasn’t sure why that was happening to him in that moment; he needed to calm down. He tightened his eyelids with strength, trying to remove all the thoughts from his head and started to breathe as slowly and calm as he could. The pressure started disappearing little by little and Dean started relaxing a bit his eyelids. He focused on Cas, who was breathing very calmly. He opened his eyes to see Cas. His Cas. He needed to hold on Cas to feel better.

“Cas” Dean whispered as low as he could. He didn’t want Cas to hear him. “My Cas. My Castiel.”

Dean kissed Cas’ forehead and then he leaned his forehead on his. He never felt like that before, and he hated feeling like hell. He had to stop worrying about all those things; the more he worried the worse he would get, and Cas would notice it and that would be worse.

Dean was sweating around all his body, it was a cold sweat, the one he always had when he was scared. He cursed in his mind. That was being an awful night, one of the worst nights in his life. He snorted tiredly and closed his eyes, trying to fall asleep, begging for a night without dreams and wishing that when he woke up, he could feel better, as if nothing bad happened, as those stupid thoughts would never existed on his head. It wasn’t too much to ask. He just wanted a quiet night without troubles, sleeping with Cas and holding him, without feeling bad at all.

“Dean, you are still awake.” Cas whispered.

Dean froze in that moment. He hoped Cas didn’t feel his reaction and he didn’t hear him saying his name. “Yeah.” Dean said pretending to be sleepy.

Cas opened his eyes. “What’s wrong?” He asked stroking Dean’s jaw.

“Nothing, Cas.” Dean opened his eyes. “I think I shouldn’t have eaten that much.” He said. It was the only thing that came to his mind.

“Yes, you should have left me some cookies, instead of eating them all.” He sighed. Dean let out a low laughter. It was surprising how Cas could made him feel better with that silly things.

“I didn’t eat them all.”

“Dean, both of us now that when you start eating cookies, you can’t stop.”

“I think I left two or three.” He made a thoughtful grimace.

Cas rolled his eyes as he smiled. “That had to be so hard for you…” Cas laughed.

“Don’t reproach me that, you are the one who eats all the popcorn and don’t share it.” Dean glared him in a sweet way. Cas laughed again. Dean decided to kiss him with tenderness. When he parted, he stroked with his thumb Cas’ lower lip. “Sleep, Cas.”

“And you too Dean.”

Cas buried his face again in Dean’s chest and he fall asleep in just a few minutes again. Dean was feeling a bit better. He closed his eyes and buried his face in Cas’ hair. Just a stupid conversation with Cas and he was feeling better, just with hearing his laughter, Dean didn’t feel as bad as before. He had been with a lot of persons in his life, but no one of them made him feel like Cas did. Maybe that was because there wasn’t any person or even angel in this world that was like Cas. You could search the whole world, heaven, hell, purgatory, the freaking damn universe and you would never find someone like Cas. And Dean felt really lucky for having Cas. His life would be very different if another angel had gripped him and pulled him out of hell, but it was Cas the one who did it, and with the days, he greeted more and more that Cas was the one who appeared and saved him and no other angel.

He smiled again and took a deep breath, he pressed himself against Cas and after some long minutes, he could finally fall asleep.


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the longest chapter for now. I hope you will enjoy it.  
> One more time, thanks for the kudos, the bookmarks, the subscription and the comments, but my biggest thank you is for all the people who read, because I wouldn't be updating this if it weren't for you.

It was late afternoon and Dean was in the shooting room; it always calmed him down to do some shoots and also, he wanted to practice shooting; it had been a long time since he hunted and he didn’t want to lose his aim. He missed working on chases, hunting things, but as Cas said, the angel’s fall caused a change in every supernatural being, so there wasn’t going to be anything to hunt in a long time.

Dean liked being in the bunker and spending time there, but he missed traveling in the Impala and hunting things, but everything was quiet by now. He hoped that he didn’t get rusty, so he practiced shooting every time he could, and he did some exercise when he felt too. He wasn’t a big fan of exercise, in his life, all the exercise he did consisted on running after a monster or running to save his life or Sammy’s.

He shot to the paper with the drawing of a person and he didn’t miss any shoot. It was really easy, because the paper didn’t move. He smiled when he saw his target was full of holes in the place that it was supposed to be the chest.

“Hello Dean” Cas greeted. Dean startled, he didn’t hear Cas coming there. Cas looked at him confused for Dean’s reaction.

“Damn it Cas, don’t do that!” Dean said pissed off.

“Do what?” He was with his back leaning on the wall, the one that was next to the entrance.

“Come in completely silence while I’m shooting.” He explained putting the gun away. “I could have shot you accidentally.” His eyes showed concern.

“My apologies. Next time I won’t do it.” He sounded sad. Dean sighed.

“It’s okay Cas.” He looked at Cas. He had messy hair and he looked like a member for Nirvana. He was wearing grey plaid with a black t-shirt, broken light blue jeans and boots. Dean liked how he looked. “What are you doing here?” Dean asked recharging the gun.

Cas approached him. “I bring you these.” He took from his pocket a small pack of peanut m&m’s and threw it to Dean.

“Awesome!” Dean was enthusiastic. “Thank you Cas.” Cas made a soft smile. “Want some?” He offered when he opened the pack. Cas shook his head.

“You hit him.” Cas said when he saw the target.

“Yeah, not big deal.” Dean said chewing. “Wanna try?” Cas shrugged.

“Okay.” He said casually approaching the gun.

Dean pressed the button that put another piece of paper with another silhouette drawn on it. “Go ahead.”

Cas gave three shots and one of them hit the silhouette in the ear. He made a disappointed grimace. “Damn it.” He murmured. Dean chuckled and approached him, standing behind him.

“First of all, relax your shoulders.” Dean said putting his hands in Cas’ shoulders, moving it down. “Second, stretch your arms” Now he moved his hands to Cas’ and he made Cas stretch his arms. “Like this. You had the gun very close to your chest, and when you shoot, it goes back a bit and it can hit you.”

“Okay.” Cas said. He was feeling really warm with Dean pressing his body behind him and how he moved his hands along his arms. He liked when Dean touched him. No mattered how Dean touched him, Cas always liked it.

“And when you want to aim, try to look at the muzzle to know where the shoot will end up.” Dean kept explaining. Cas nodded. Dean kissed his nape, making Cas smile. “Try it again.”

Dean moved away and then, Cas shoot again. This time he shot three times and hit the target. One in the shoulder and the others in the heart. “I hit him!” He said with a smile. Dean smiled proudly.

“Well done.” He approached Cas again and gave him a short kiss. “Give me the gun.” He asked. Cas handed it. Then, Dean pressed the button and another silhouette appeared. “Now, it will move and you’ll have to hit him.” He explained.

Dean pressed another button and the paper started moving side to side quite fast. Dean made five shoots before it stopped. He hit it four times, two in the chest and two in the head. “Wow, you scored four out of five.” Cas said amused.

“I’ve been doing this for a long time.” Dean chuckled. “Now it’s your turn.” He handed Cas the gun, who looked at it doubtful. “Don’t worry Cas, we all do it bad in our first time.” He stirred Cas’ hair.

Then, Dean pressed the button for a new silhouette, and then he pressed the one that it made it move it. Cas gave five shoots. When the paper stopped moving, he could see that he just hit it one time, but it was in the chest.

“Not bad.” Dean said surprised as he ate the remaining m&m’s “You hit him in the chest.”

“Yes, I can’t believe it.” Cas laughed as he handed Dean the gun, who put the safe mode on.

“You have to practice. But for being the first time you did it pretty good.” Dean’s voice was proud.

“Thanks.”

Dean looked at Cas. He seemed to be in another world, focused on his thoughts. He cupped Cas’ jaw and kissed him. Cas was surprised for that, but after some seconds he took Dean’s face between his hands. “Let’s go upstairs, I’ve gotta make dinner.” He said when he stopped. Then he caught Cas’ hand and left the room.

After having dinner, Kevin and Sam went to their respective rooms, both carrying a book for themselves, while Cas and Dean were in the library. Dean sat down in a chair next to Cas; he had his gardening notebook and was drawing some of the plants he planted with Dean; he write down their names and what they could be used for, but he didn’t draw them.

“Have you drawn this?” Dean asked astonished. Cas nodded. “Are you kidding?”

“Why would I be kidding?” Cas asked half-closing his eyes. Dean knew that expression in Cas’ face; he always did it when he didn’t understand what Dean meant.

“It’s awesome!” He was amused by Cas’ drawing. It wasn’t a masterpiece, he knew that, but with just a few simple strokes, anyone could tell which plant it was. “You are an artist!”

“I’m not an artist” Cas was a bit blushed. He looked at Dean’s eyes, shining passionately. “It’s just a simple drawing, anyone could draw like this.”

“You really never saw me drawing.” Dean laughed. “If I drew you a horse right now you’d think it’s a cow or a dog.” He explained taking the notebook to him, appreciating the drawing.

“You can’t draw that bad!” Cas laughed. Dean raised his eyebrows.

“Ask Sam if you don’t believe me.” He put the notebook near Cas again. “You are really good at drawing, Cas.” Dean stared at him in a sweet way. Cas blushed with the compliment.

“Thank you Dean.”

“Would you mind if I look how you draw?”

“Of course not.” He kissed Dean and when they parted, they smiled.

Cas kept drawing while Dean looked with a lot of attention how he drew. He was fascinated about how easy it seemed, it looked like the pencil was part of Cas’ body.

“Why do you draw all the plants?” Dean asked after several moments. Cas already finished drawing a sunflower with some pretty details, he was now starting drawing an orchid.

“Because it is good to know how they look like. Flowers are easy to distinguish, but others not.” Cas turned the pages to show him some drawings of the plants that were already planted when he found the greenhouse. “These ones look very alike, the only difference it’s the shape of their leaves.” He explained as he moved the pencil. “I should go for the sharpener.” He said making a grimace.

“Where do you have it?” Dean asked without moving his sight from the drawings.

“In the greenhouse.” He sighed. He stood up from the chair. “I’ll be back in some minutes.”

Cas left the library with Dean looking at the drawings, amused. He was turning the pages, looking at every drawing; Cas drew fucking awesome. He turned the pages and started to see that there weren’t more drawings, however, he kept turning the pages, hoping he could find another drawing, but it seemed that the wasn’t any other.

Suddenly, he found a page where his name was written. He looked at it. It was a letter from Cas, addressed to him, so Dean decided to read it.

_Dean,_  
 _I’m leaving. There’s no place for me here. I appreciate your hospitality, but I can’t be here anymore, I don’t belong here, I’ll never belong. This is your home, not mine. I don’t think you even want me here anymore; I’ve become a strange for you, and I don’t think there will be ever a place for me here, and no matter what, this situation it’s going to last forever. I’ll try to find a way to fix my mistakes, and hopefully I’ll be able to find my grace and I’ll be an angel again, it’s the only thing that matters to me, otherwise I’ll die trying to fix everything; it’s better than staying here as an useless being. I should have told you this in person, but I think it’s better in this way. I’m leaving and I don’t think we will ever see again, I believe it’s the best thing for everyone. That’s what I’m still good at, leaving you, the only thing I can do right. I hope we won’t see each other again, so we don’t have to pass for this again. Goodbye._  
 _Castiel._

Dean read it again, feeling how his heart broke with every single written word. Rage took over him with pain and bitterness. In just a few moments, all the thoughts he was trying to avoid, came back to him and hit him fiercely. He stood up from the chair, he almost made it fall. He rubbed his face with both of his hands, trying to think that it wasn’t real, but it was fucking real and it hurt like hell.

“Dean?” Cas said when he came back. Dean didn’t hear him arriving. He turned around to face him. Cas looked shocked when he saw Dean’s breaking face and his eyes full of rage and pain.

“You son of a bitch.” Dean said approaching Cas. He took the notebook and handed it aggressively to Cas. He then understood that Dean read the letter he wrote when he wanted to leave. In that moment Cas felt like something very heavy and painful hit him in his chest.

“Dean, I—” Cas started to say with difficulty; he couldn’t even speak in that moment.

“No, I don’t want to hear you shitty explanations this time Cas!” Dean yelled. His eyes were greener than ever because of the tears Dean was holding. Dean had his hands fisted, trying to hold all his rage. “You always do the same, you spent time here and then you leave! You always leave! No matter what! For the first time in a lot of years we were fucking good and you want to leave!” Dean’s voice was broken and angry. Every word that came out of his mouth hurt him, like if someone was stabbing him.

“No, Dean, that’s—” Cas murmured. He wasn’t able to raise his voice. He was feeling hurt.

“I don’t want to hear it Cas!” Dean’s voice was louder. “I knew it since you arrived here, that you will leave as soon as you could! And I am so stupid for believing that this time would be different!” Cas looked at him in a sadly way, with his mouth opened, unable to say a word, feeling how every single word that Dean yelled at him hurt him even more. “And you wanted to leave without saying anything! Just leaving a fucking letter! I’m tired of this Cas! You always do the same! I don’t even know why I trust you! I’m only important to you when you fuck things up, when you can’t handle things anymore! That’s why I am for you! A fucking emergency tool! And I help you and I hope you will stay, but no, you leave without saying anything! And meanwhile, I pray for you and you don’t answer! I worry about you because something wrong can happen to you! You could even be dead!” A tear fell from Dean’s eye. His face was red of anger and Cas had glassy eyes, without knowing when tears were going to fall. “And you don’t care about me! You only care about yourself!”

“Dean—” He said weakly and so low that Dean couldn’t hear him. He always felt so fragile when Dean was angry at him. Cas always could be fiercely, but when it was Dean, he couldn’t.

“It’s all the time the same! You come back and you leave me! You always leave me! When things are going good you always decide to leave! I can’t with this anymore Cas!” Dean’s breathing was fast. “And you never listen to me! You always ignore me! I try to help you, to tell you what you should do! But you never listen! And then you fuck everything up! You made a deal with Crowley! You almost destroyed Sam’s head! You released leviathans! You left with the angel tablet! You went back to heaven and you made Metatron to let angels fell! If you have listened, nothing of that would have happened! You do those things over and over again and you still don’t listen! You don’t understand! And you hurt people, you break them! You wanted to close the gates of heaven and you wanted to stay there forever! You didn’t care that we weren’t going to see each other again! You were going to disappear forever! You don’t have any idea of how that hurts, Cas!”

Dean took a deep breath and looked at Cas, who was now looking down; he couldn’t look at Dean. He was feeling so small, so weak, so broken. Pain was invading his body.

“You know what?” Dean’s voice was now lower. “Leave if you want to. You don’t have anything or anyone to stay here.” Cas raised his eyes; they showed how destroyed he was in that moment. “I’m nothing for you, right?”

Cas wanted to say something, but he couldn’t. He felt like somebody took his voice away. Dean made a disappointed grimace, he was expecting Cas to say something, but Cas only opened his mouth, without letting out a single word, so Dean turned over and went to his bedroom, leaving Cas there. He heard Dean slamming the door and then, tears started to run from his eyes.  
He threw the notebook again. He was feeling like if someone stabbed him several times in his chest, a burning and awful sensation in his heart. And it was his entire fault, like always. “Stupid Castiel, you should have burn that fucking letter.” Cas thought.

Cas leaned his hands in the table. Even the air he breathed burnt. He looked up, trying to hold the tears, but he couldn’t. He was feeling like shit. Dean blamed him to not listen to him, but Dean never listened to Cas either, Dean just judged him and ignored what he wanted to do, making Cas to feel even more guilty. Cas couldn’t say a word during the argument and now he needed to say Dean all he couldn’t say before. Anger and frustration were now running through his veins and he needed to yell at Dean.

He walked to Dean’s bedroom full of anger and pain inside him. He opened the door and slammed it when he closed it. Dean was standing there, facing the wall; he had threw some things to the floor as a way to get away with the pain, but it didn’t give any results at all. Dean turned around to face Cas when he heard the door being slammed.

“You always complain that I don’t listen to you, but you never listen to me either! And you are always judging in a bad way every single thing I do!” Cas yelled. He still had tears falling from his eyes that were leaving a water trail in his face.

“I don’t want to hear anything from you Cas! Why should I?! It would only get things worse!” Dean yelled.

“You do all the time the same! I am always wrong and you are always right!” He was really furious in that moment with Dean. 

Dean made a sarcastic face. “I’m not the one who fucks everything up!”

“But you always make me feel like shit! I know I have done awful things! I can’t forget them! I can’t forgive myself, Dean! And you like to remind me all the time everything I have done wrong! I know I don’t deserve your forgiveness, I know it perfectly! But you don’t have the right to make me feel like shit, like I’m the worst thing that ever happened to you!” Cas’ tears didn’t stop, but his voice, although it was broken, it was strong and fiercely.

“What do you expect Cas?! You are always leaving! You can’t imagine how much that hurts me! And after that, you expect me to act like if didn’t happened at all?!” Dean’s eyes were red and glassy. He felt how tears wanted to appear again, one fell down, but Dean was trying as hard as he could not to let fall another one.

“I always have to leave because I want to protect you!”

“Yeah, sure! That’s the reason why do you want to leave now!” He yelled in a sarcastic way, moving his hands in an overacted way. “That’s why you wrote that letter, because you want to protect me! You don’t even believe that!”

“I didn’t write the letter because of that!” Dean never saw Cas as furious as in that moment.

“Then, why did you write it?!”

“Because you were making me feel like shit! You ignored me! You didn’t talk to me! I wanted to explain you things! To fix things between us! But you were being an assbutt! You didn’t care how I was! You didn’t even look at me! I knew how much I hindered you! You didn’t want me here! I wanted to leave and leave you!”

“Then why didn’t you leave?!” Dean raised his voice even more.

“Because I need you!” Cas said with tears falling from his eyes. Dean’s face showed that he was shocked. The color of the rage in his face disappeared to let the white of surprise. He couldn’t believe what Cas already said.

“What have you said?” Dean asked approaching him; his voice was in a normal volume.

“I need you.” Cas said in a desperate and needy voice.

Dean took Cas’ face and kissed him fiercely and angrily. Cas didn’t understand why Dean was doing that. Seconds ago they were arguing and now, Dean was kissing him. But he didn’t think about it for long, he just grabbed Dean’s neck and kissed him back, he needed to kiss him, to fall in that kiss, to let all his anger and pain out in that kiss.

When Dean parted, Cas made a small confused look, but Dean ignored it. He removed with his thumbs Cas’ tears and looked at him with a bit of tenderness in his glassy eyes.

“Say it again, Cas.” Dean whispered in a needy way. He needed to hear those three words again; he needed to know that Cas said those words, that it wasn’t his imagination.

“I need you.” Cas whispered. “I need you.” Dean kissed him again, in the same way, but now, he kissed him as he needed him to breathe. “I need you, Dean.”

“I need you too, Cas” Dean whispered.

They kissed again. Cas moved his hands to Dean’s hair, touring every part of it with his fingers. They never kissed like that before, being fiercely, angry and needy, and even a bit desperate too. There was a burning sensation in their chests, more intense than ever. They parted their lips for some seconds to take air and then, they kept kissing. Dean then, took off Cas’ shirt and threw it away as fast as he could. Cas moved his hands to find Dean’s shirt and took it off.

Dean moved Cas towards the bed, holding him by his hips, without kissing him, and he lay him down. Their breathings were fast, they could feel how their hearts were beating, faster than ever, as if their hearts wanted to get away from their chests. Dean took off Cas’ boots and socks really fast, and he took off his too, while Cas looked at him. Then, he lay above Cas and kissed him. They did it in a needy way, as if those seconds when Dean was taking off their socks and boots, were years. They only stopped kissing when they took each other’s t-shirts off. Cas stroked Dean’s chest as Dean was searching for his jeans to unbutton them, sliding his hands along Cas’ sides, drawing the curve with his strokes, feeling Cas’ warm naked chest and the muscles and ribs behind his palms and fingers. He took the jeans away really fast. Cas had to pull his lips away to unfasten Dean’s belt. He bit his lower lip when he did it, looking with desire at Dean, who smirked and kissed him again, holding his face, while Cas took his jeans off. Then, Dean took off Cas’ boxers and finally, Cas took off Dean’s.

Cas had one of his hands in Dean’s hair and the other one in Dean’s back, stroking him. Dean moved his hands along Cas’ sides to end up in Cas’ thighs; he put them around his waist and started fucking Cas.

“Dean—!” Cas moaned loud. He had his eyes opened and he could see Dean. Their pupils were dilated. He was feeling Dean inside him and it was wonderful. It was a bit painful at first, but then, Cas felt better than ever. A burning sensation was in his whole body. Dean looked at Cas, a bit worried because he wasn’t sure if he hurt Cas. He should have gone slower, but he needed to do that with Cas, he fucking needed it and the anger and arousal of the moment made him to do that.

“Cas— are you okay?” Dean asked upset.

“Don’t stop, Dean, please.” He said in a needy way. Dean kept fucking him, so Cas bit his lip and closed his eyes, approaching Dean closer to him, trying to leave as less space between them as possible.

Dean was fucking him and kissing his neck. Cas moaned every time he was feeling Dean’s cock inside him. He nailed Dean’s back and tightened his fingers in Dean’s hair, trying not to hurt him. Cas’ back curved when he felt Dean getting inside him again. He was feeling warmer with every movement Dean made and with every kiss he gave him in the neck. He never expected that having Dean inside him was going to feel that pleasurable; he felt so good, better than in his whole life, it was a new whole sensation for Cas, Dean was filling his emptiness in such a wonderful way that Cas felt like Dean and him were the only ones in the world.

Their hips were shaking, Cas was shivering with every move, tugging Dean closer, he wanted to feel every single part of Dean in his skin as Dean fucked him. Dean was looking at Cas, without stopping fucking him, seeing those delightful faces he was doing and melting down with every moan Cas did, especially when he said his name. Dean was enjoying being inside Cas so much. He loved it. He felt how warmth ran his whole body exploding into something that he couldn’t describe, but it was something that he never felt before, just like Cas was feeling with having Dean inside him.

Dean tried to kiss Cas in the mouth whenever he could. He gave him short but fiercely kisses; until Cas had to pull away his mouth from Dean’s to let out a moan when Dean’s cock touched a sensitive part of him.

“Oh, Dean—” Cas moaned loud.

Breathing was starting to be a bit difficult for Cas and his mind was being filled with a sudden white. He titled his head back and made an orgasm when Dean’s cock was touching that sensitive part. Dean melted down when he heard that awesome sound coming out from Cas’ mouth. It was great to be inside Cas, to fill him, to make him feel that way. Dean was feeling great to be inside Cas. He was moaning as Cas made the orgasm. Cas was really warm, more than Dean expected, and he loved how he felt Cas around him, in his cock and in the rest of his body. It was so nice for Dean to feel Cas in that way. He had wanted it for so long, to have Cas in that way, to fill the emptiness in his graceless angel in that way, to make him feel thing that he never felt before. Dean was losing his mind with fucking Cas, it was marvelous. And Cas was lost in Dean, feeling him in that unexpected way, so pleasurable.

Dean leaned some moments before his knees on the mattress and raised Cas and himself, sitting Cas in his lap, with Cas’ thighs embracing his ass. Cas embraced with his arms Dean’s neck; he looked at Dean’s eyes, then he looked at all the freckles in his face and kissed him; they felt their mouths getting wet and warm when their tongues met and started to swirl them and to lick. Cas had to part his lips when Dean fucked him again.

“Dean, oh—” Cas moaned as he leaned his forehead in Dean’s.

Dean moved Cas; he was gripping him by his hips and moved him so he could fuck him better. Dean licked Cas’ nipple and Cas curved his neck as he moaned. Cas wanted to be like that forever, with Dean inside him, kissing him, feeling that sensation that he never felt before. He felt alive.

Their bodies were covered in thin sweat, getting their skins sticky, and the warm of their bodies wrapped them. It was a great feeling. Cas started rocking his body to feel Dean inside him better, holding Dean’s head with his hands as Dean licked his nipple and tightened his hips. Cas opened his eyes for a few seconds and looked up, but he had to close them again when he felt Dean’s cock in that pleasurable place. He had to let out another orgasm, this time less loud, and approached his body a little bit more to Dean’s.

After some moments, Cas put his hands in Dean’s face and kissed him fiercely, biting Dean’s lower lip softly; then, he put his knees in the mattress and sat Dean in his lap; being in the same position than before, but now Cas was going to fuck Dean, he needed to feel what it was like to be inside of Dean. They gazed at each other’s eyes as Dean embraced him. Then, Cas started fucking Dean.

“Holy fuck— Cas—” Dean moaned with pleasure.

Dean never had someone inside him, and he was glad that it was Cas the one who was inside of him. It was at first a bit painful to him, they should have put on some lube, but Dean didn’t have it, and with all that anger, frustration and arousal, he didn’t even think about it, they just wanted to have sex after all that anger and frustration and after telling each other I need you. But Dean didn’t care about the first sensation of pain when Cas’ cock got inside him for the first time because after some seconds, Dean was feeling a lot of pleasure.

“Dean.” Cas said breathy. “Are you okay?” He asked worried. He didn’t want to hurt Dean, he would stop if Dean wanted to, although he was dying for fucking Dean.

“Just keep fucking me, please.” Dean said needy.

Cas complied and kept fucking Dean. Dean was feeling Cas inside him and it was the best feeling ever. When he felt Cas’ cock inside him, he had to close his eyes because he couldn’t keep them open; the sensation was too much, and he loved it, he loved how Cas rocked his cock inside him. He wished Cas could be inside him forever, it was a great feeling. He wasn’t feeling empty anymore; Cas was filling him with warmth. He had needed that for so long, to feel complete, to feel Cas inside him.

Cas sucked one of his nipples as he fucked him. Dean moaned and tightened a little bit with his hands Cas’ hair. Then, Cas kissed his collarbone, and Dean had to let out another moan and tightened Cas more, shaking his hips so he could ease the penetration of Cas’ cock in him, and he could feel it better. He was feeling warmer with every movement, and he was feeling more alive than ever when Cas’ cock touched the sensitive part of him. He could feel how the strength in his legs seemed to disappear when Cas was inside him, he shivered of pleasure and his back curved. He let out an orgasm and felt how the air in his lungs seemed to disappear. Cas couldn’t help a proud smile as he moaned softly.

Later, Cas moved Dean and lay him down, so he lay above him. He kissed him, pressing his tongue in Dean’s mouth as Dean ran his fingers through Cas’ hair in a desperate way, he wanted to feel Cas everywhere. Dean bit Cas’ nether lip, trying to hold it between his lips as much as he could. Dean embraced with his legs Cas’ butt, so Cas started fucking Dean again.

“Cas— oh Cas—” Dean moaned.

Cas loved when Dean moaned his name. Their hips were rocking and Dean’s back was arching, so their hipbones were colliding. They were covered in sweat, and in some parts there was cum too. Cas had his hands fisting the sheets while he was fucking Dean. He kissed his neck without stopping moving his cock in and out Dean. He could feel how Dean pressed his fingers in his back. Cas gave short kisses to Dean between Dean’s moans. Dean bit his lip for a moment and then, he released a loud orgasm when Cas fucked him harder that time, coming and losing his mind with Cas' touch inside him. He pulled his body against Cas' to feel their skins touching and Dean tilted his head back, pressing his head on the pillow. Dean’s chest was burning, there was a sudden white in his mind, his blood was running fast and all he was feeling was the pleasure that Cas was giving to him. Cas was inside him, he was kissing and touching him as he fucked him and Dean was feeling better than ever, his whole body was shaking and he was moaning quite loud as Cas got in and out his cock.

Dean was always warm, something that Cas always loved, but Dean was warmer where Cas’ cock was. It was so nice to Cas. Feeling Dean in that way was extraordinary and unique; he wanted to feel him in that way as much as they could, feeling Dean in every single part of his body and making Dean to feel all that pleasure.

After a while, Dean felt how Cas was coming inside him, feeling ever warmer. Cas let out a moan and nailed softly Dean's shoulders, they couldn't stay longer like that, so after a few moments, Cas got out from Dean, who made a whining noise, he didn’t like feeling empty again, but both of them were exhausted; they were panting. Cas leaned over Dean and kissed him, cupping his jaw. When they pulled away, they looked at each other’s eyes and then, Cas lay down in the bed, next to Dean. They were trying to recover their breathing, to slow it. They were really tired, they couldn’t move much, but it was worth. Those minutes were intense but great.

“How can an argument end up like this?” Cas asked with labored breathing, looking at Dean.

Dean turned his face. “I don’t know.” Dean answered, also with chopped breathing. “But it was awesome.”

“Yes, it was really awesome.”

There was a silence. Cas lay aside when his breathing was beginning to be normal and Dean embraced him with one of his arms, so Cas approached him and put his hand in Dean’s tattoo, drawing it with his finger. The room had a thick air and the temperature was quite high, but Dean and Cas didn’t care about it, they were just feeling each other, being embraced, and they still could feel the remaining of the warmth they felt when they have the other one inside.

“Cas—” Dean said as he took a deep breath. 

Cas kept looking at Dean’s tattoo. “Yes, Dean?” Cas said.

“You still want to leave?” He asked with fear.

“No. I want to stay.” He answered. A warm mixed with nervousness feeling ran through Dean’s body. He moved and raised his head so he could see Dean. His eyes were full of fear. “Do you want me to leave?”

“No.”

Cas cupped Dean’s face and kissed him softly. “Then I will stay.”

Dean breathed relieved and Cas lay aside, leaning his chin in Dean’s shoulder. Dean kissed his forehead and started stroking Cas’ arm. “Why did you write that letter?” Dean asked. He knew that wasn’t the best moment to ask things, but he didn’t know when he would be able again to ask it.

“I told you; because I felt like shit, like you wanted me out of here.” Cas sighed. “I wrote it before you came to the greenhouse and told me that you wanted things to be as good as they used to be between us. I just thought that it would be easier for us if I left, although I wanted to stay.” A sad emotion ran his body, but Cas tried to focus on Dean’s warmth.

Dean sighed and nuzzled Cas’ hair. “And why did you kept the letter?”

“I forgot that I had it. I didn’t remember it until tonight.” Cas stretched his arm to cuddle Dean and tangled his legs with Dean’s.

Dean rubbed his face. “I’m sorry for everything Cas.” He apologized. “I shouldn’t have told you all those things and yelled at you without listening to you.”

“It’s okay Dean. You were right in a lot of things. Like how many times I left you without saying a word. I never realized how much it could hurt you.” Cas tightened him and took a deep breath. “I didn’t want you to die or get hurt because of some angel or demon or anything that was after me, but I should have told you something, not disappearing without an explanation.” Dean made a pity face. “But I thought that you wouldn’t listen to me…”

“Yeah I know. I should listen to you more often and judge you less, it’s not right, I mean, I should just be less mean to you with important things. And well— I know that you always try to fix things, but you always end up screwed, but it’s not your fault. I know how much you want to make good things.” He sighed. “It’s just that— that I just didn’t want you to go. I wanted you to be here as much as you could. I’ve always known that you had a lot of work to do, but lately, it seemed to me that you didn’t want to stay here.”

“I’m sorry for that Dean.” Cas made a sad face. “We should have talked about all of this a long time ago.”

“Well, if we had, we wouldn’t have had this awesome sex.” Dean said with a funny grin. Cas laughed.

“We should have had sex a long time ago.” Cas said with a thoughtful grimace. Dean raised his brows and looked at him roguery. Cas stared him, smirking.

“Wouldn’t that be wrong?” Cas half-closed his eyes. “I mean, aren’t rules against angels and humans having sex?”

“Yes. It’s a blasphemy. But I would have broken the rules. I always do it for you, right?” Cas made a sweet smile and Dean kissed him with tenderness.

“I love when you break rules. You are such a badass.” He said laughing and kissed him again. Dean stroked with his thumb Cas’ nether lip when they parted their mouths. “I need you.” He whispered.

“I need you too.”

They kissed again and kept cuddling until their eyes couldn’t stay open and fall slowly asleep, being embraced, feeling the warm of their bodies and being happy because that awful fight ended up in a really good way.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I like this chapter quite much, hope you do it too ^^  
> Thanks a lot for reading, for the kudos, the subscriptions, the bookmarks and the comments. Just thank you for reading :)

Morning arrived. Sheets only covered them until their hipbones. Dean and Cas would have sleep without them, but both of them needed to cover themselves in the night; they could feel a bit cold when their bodies didn’t move in the whole night, although after the sex their bodies’ and the room’s temperature was quite high, but after less than an hour, the temperature went a bit down.

Dean was awake. He opened his eyes slowly and rubbed his face with one of his hands. He smiled when he saw Cas laying aside, with his arm stretched along his chest, tightening him; he was sleeping with a tiny smile on his lips. Dean started stroking Cas’ back with his hand. He was feeling really good. That awesome sex night made him feel like he never felt in years, or maybe like never before.

He looked at Cas’ naked body, lighted up by the sunlight. He wanted to kiss, stroke and touch, every single part of Cas’ body. He loved how he felt when he felt Cas’ body beneath his skin. He loved waking up and seeing that Cas was lying next to him, hugging him, seeing how he slept. That was happiness to Dean. He found a bit creepy seeing how people slept, but Cas was too handsome when he was sleeping, especially if he was sleeping naked, that Dean couldn’t help watching Cas sleeping. It was perfect.

Cas nuzzled Dean’s neck and let out a deep breath. He was waking up. Dean moved his head down, so he could reach Cas’ lips and kissed him softly.

“G’morning Cas” Dean said happily in a whisper.

“Morning to you too, Dean.” Cas murmured as he opened slowly his eyes, making a naughty smile. He rubbed his face before he opened his eyes at all. Then, he kissed again Dean, leaning over him. He pushed his tongue inside Dean’s mouth, searching for Dean’s tongue and then, Cas slipped his hands from Dean’s shoulder to the hipbones, slowly, feeling with his fingers tips every part of Dean’s skin. Dean held Cas’ blades and stroked Cas’ back until the end of Cas’ spine.

Dean pulled away his lips to look at Cas. He could feel Cas’ half hard cock against his. “You are in such a good mood. You are usually a little grumpy when you wake up.” Dean said with cockiness.

“That’s because those all mornings I didn’t wake up with you by my side naked.” Cas explained raising his eyebrows. Dean smirked and moved both of them, making Cas to be laying down in the mattress while he was above Cas. Cas started giggling and then he took Dean’s head and approached Dean to his lips. When they parted, both smiled widely.

Dean rolled over to lay down in bed, while Cas looked at him. Dean looked at the clock. It was time for breakfast, but first he had to take a shower. “I need a shower.” Dean said rising and rubbing his face. Cas raised too and started kissing Dean’s back while he was circling Dean’s nipple. Dean turned his face to see Cas, who was escalating his back until he found Dean’s neck and leaned his chin on Dean’s shoulder. Dean was enjoying that gentle touch of Cas’ lips. Cas touched him extremely good; no mattered if he used his hands on his lips or whatever, Cas touched him too fucking good.

“We could take the shower together, if you want to.” He suggested staring at Dean’s eyes in a shy way, without stopping stroking Dean’s back. Dean made a mischievous smile and he raised one brow.

“Since when do you suggest these things?” He wondered curious but with a rogue voice. Cas pressed a gentle kiss in his neck.

“Can’t I suggest them?”

“Of course you can! It’s just that I’m surprised.” He explained smirking. He kissed Cas. “C’mon.” He caught Cas’ hand and pulled them out of bed. Dean picked some clean clothes for later before leaving. “Crap!” He said.

“What?” Cas asked confused.

“Hold this.” Dean handed Cas the clothes, without releasing Cas’ hand and approached them to the bed. Cas watched curiously how Dean was taking a sheet. Then, he wrapped it around he and Cas, so they were covered from hips to ankles. “We can’t get out naked. I don’t want Sam to see us naked.” Dean explained looking at Cas.

They looked a bit ridiculous, they had to walk with short steps and they tried to do it as fast as they could, holding their hands. They had some hickeys in their necks, and their hairs were really messy. Also, they were a bit blushed, but they really liked that. It was funny.

When they arrived at the bathroom, Cas closed the door and Dean took the clothes, leaving them in the sink; after that, he kissed Cas passionately while he was unwrapping the sheet that covered them. Cas was smiling mischievously when their mouths parted and Dean bit his nether lip. He took Cas’ hand, approaching them to the shower. Dean opened the tap and then, he and Cas got into.

They seemed like two teenagers with all that giggling. Cas put his hands in Dean’s chest and kissed him. Dean put his hands in Cas’ hips and bring him closer, so they could feel their hard cocks. The water was drenching them, making them being wetter and warmer, like their mouths when they were kissing. Dean was looking for Cas’ tongue, and when he found it, they swirled them. 

Cas amounted Dean’s chest to end up with one of his hands in Dean’s wet hair; his other hand went down, slowly, feeling Dean’s wet skin, until he arrived at Dean’s cock and grabbed it. Dean parted his mouth when he felt Cas’ hand, letting out a shivering moan. Cas looked up to see Dean’s eyes, and Dean smirked before kissing Cas again. Cas started moving his hand along Dean’s cock and Dean started moaning. When he moaned, Cas kissed his neck gently and Dean ran his fingers in Cas’ hair and with the other one, he gripped fiercely Cas’ ass. He loved how Cas worked his hand in his cock, moving his wrist so he could do several angles and the pleasure was in all the parts, and changing the speed.

Later, Dean was the one who made a handjob to Cas, first slowly and gentle, and then, fast and moving his wrist in different angles. Cas moaned several times, and Dean kissed his neck and collarbone as he made circles with his finger in Cas’ nipple with the hand that wasn’t in Cas’ cock. Cas stroked Dean’s blade and ran one of his hands along the back and tightened Dean’s ass when Dean squeezed the head of his cock.

When they were done, they took a normal shower, removing all the sweat and cum that they had in their skins. When they were applying the shampoo and there was foam on their hair, Dean couldn’t help to make a crest to Cas with the foam, laughing really loud. Cas squeezed his nose, making a funny face and made spiky hair to Dean, who tried to put it back to normal, but Cas avoided it and stirred Dean’s hair while they laughed. They were like kids, but they loved those special funny moments.

“I’m not letting you to put it back to normal.” Cas said with a pretty smile. He was trying to avoid Dean to touch his hair.

“Y’know that if I put it under the water the spiky hair it’s going to disappear, right?” Dean said with a brow raised.

“Of course I know it.” He half-closed his eyes. Dean placed his hands in Cas’ hair to made the crest more firmly. “It is quite enjoyable and funny to see you with that hair.” He confessed. 

Dean smirked. “You too.” Dean kissed Cas with passion, holding him by his neck as Cas approached his body to Dean’s, placing his hands in the end on Dean’s back.

When they were clean, after kissing and changing their hairstyles with the foam for several times and washing the rest of their bodies, Dean turned off the tape and they got out from the shower. They took some towels and started drying.

“I like how you look with wet hair.” Cas said biting his lip and looking at Dean, who had wet and messy hair after drying it with a towel.

Dean made a shy smile. “Thanks.” Dean said. Then he approached Cas and gave him a short kiss. They were close, just a few inches were between them, and Dean decided to ravel Cas’ hair in a funny and messy way. He laughed while he did it. “I like you with messy wet hair.”

Cas blushed a little bit more. Dean moved away and kept drying himself. Cas ran his fingers through his hair to dry it a little bit more, then he kept drying the rest of his body and picked up his clothes.

Dean started to dress up and Cas saw he was putting on one of the Batman boxers. “You are wearing Batman’s boxers!” Cas exclaimed enthusiastically. His eyes showed happiness and he had his mouth opened showing he was amused. Dean blushed.

“Yeah, I guess they don’t look so bad on me.” Dean said smirking. Cas approached him; he was wearing only his boxers. Cas started to touch Dean’s crotch softly. “Do you want me to have another boner?” He asked as Cas moved his hands along all the boxers.

“You look so warm with them.” He said in a sexy voice.

“Warm?” Dean moved his head in a sign of confusion.

Cas blinked perplexed “Yes, warm. You told me the other day I looked hot. Warm and hot are synonyms.” He explained. Dean let out a laugh and Cas looked at him like he was insane. “What’s so funny?”

“The expression it’s hot, not warm, Cas. If you say warm, it means a different thing.” Dean said between laughter.

“It should, they are synonyms. It had to be the same—” But he couldn’t finish, Dean kissed him and cupped his chin.

“I really like when you are so confused with these things.” Dean’s eyes were full of tenderness.

Cas made a sweet smile. “You are an assbutt.” Dean laughed again. “But you are a sexy assbutt with those boxers.” He gave Dean a short and soft kiss in the lips. Dean’s smile got wider.

“Do you want anything special for breakfast?” He asked putting on his t-shirt.

“Pancakes and bacon.” Cas answered picking up his t-shirt to put it on. Dean smiled in a naughty way. He picked up the sheet and then, he took Cas’ hand.

They left the sheet in the washing machine and then, they went to the kitchen. Dean released Cas’ hand and started looking for a bowl to prepare the pancakes and the ingredients. Cas was standing next to the fridge, looking at Dean in a lovely way. He was thinking in that moment that Dean was the best thing that happened in his life. He lived for millions of years without him, and now, he couldn’t imagine what it would be like his life without him. And he wondered why there was a time when he wanted to leave him.

Of course he missed being an angel, being a human in some aspects was the worst; all the crappy emotions like sadness and depression, not being able to sleep and consequently, being in a bad mood and tired, how every single cut hurt and a lot of other things. But what he felt for Dean was the best thing. He always felt something for him, but when he became human, those feelings became stronger. Even when Dean touched him he could feel it in a more intense way, when he was an angel, when touched him or was closer, it wasn’t that intense.

Dean caught him staring at him, with that lovely gaze, and Dean blushed, feeling a warm in his chest. “You wanna help me?” Dean asked trying to make the blush to disappear.

“You know I’m terrible at cooking.” Cas said with a uncomfortable grin.

“You can mix the ingredients.” He explained in a warm voice. “I’ll teach you.” Cas hesitated and Dean rolled his eyes. He walked towards Cas and stood behind him. Cas gave him a confused look. “C’mon, Cas, it’s not that hard.” He said pushing him towards the worktop. Cas sighed annoyed. “You haven’t burn popcorn since a lot of weeks; you are ready to do this.” Dean tried to motivate him. He was now standing in Cas’ left side. Cas gave him a doubtful look.

“If pancakes are inedible—”

“They are not going to be inedible, Cas.” Dean interrupted snorting.

“I think our last night’s sexual intercourse has affected your brain if you think so.” Cas throw him a sarcastic and confused stare. Dean laughed and kissed him.

“No, it hasn’t.” He passed his thumb through Cas’ lower lip. Cas’ eyes shone. “It’s not so difficult. Trust me.”

“Fine.” He sighed hesitant.

“First of all, we’ve gotta put all the ingredients in the bowl.” Dean started explaining. He picked up a packet of baking powder and handed it to Cas. Cas opened it and started dropping it in the bowl. “Now, just a bit of salt.” Dean took a pinch of salt and dropped it inside the bowl too. “It’s better to put a few, because if you put too much, pancakes would only taste like salt.” Cas nodded. “Now, the sugar.” He approached the sugar jar to Cas and gave him a teaspoon.

“How many teaspoons should I take?” Cas asked worried. He didn’t want to make any mistakes.

“Three.” Dean answered. Cas did it carefully. “Good. Okay, now the eggs.” He picked one. “You hit it here.” He hit the egg in the border of the bowl “And you drop the egg in the bowl and throw away the eggshell, and try not to get any tiny part of it inside.” Cas looked at everything Dean did while he say it. Then, Dean gave him other egg.

“It seems difficult.” His voice was trembling.

Dean rolled his eyes. “Cas, it's just food, don't worry. Also, I’ve seen you doing more difficult things. This is only food.” Cas made a childish grimace and Dean glared him; finally, Cas took the egg. “Don’t hit it hard.” Cas nodded and hit the egg softly; so softly that it didn’t break. Dean made a tiny funny smile. Cas hit the egg again, and this time, it broke. He dropped the egg carefully, trying not to drop any eggshell. “See? I told you could do it” Dean’s voice showed pride and happiness. Cas made a satisfactory face. “Now, two more.” Cas took the eggs that Dean had in his hands and he broke them without trouble. He made a big smile and looked at Dean.

“You were right.” He smiled.

“Of course I was it!” Dean laughed. Cas hit Dean’s arm softly and Dean laughed. “Okay, now the butter.” He picked up a bar of butter and cut it in half and handed it to Cas, who drop it in the bowl. “Now, flour. Drop it until I told you to stop.” Cas picked up the flour pack and dropped it. “Stop.” Dean caught the pack and left it close to him. “And finally, milk. Drop until here.” He made pointed the bowl, marking how much milk Cas should drop. Cas drop the milk.

“Like this?” Cas asked.

“Yeah, perfect. Put the carton in the fridge.” Cas did what Dean told him, while Dean was switching on a blender. “If you do this manually, you won’t have pancakes until tomorrow.” He explained as he mixed all the ingredients. Cas stood next to him, paying attention. Dean switched off the blender and left it in the sink. “But it you mix it too much, the dough will be too liquid and there will be crappy pancakes. It’s better to mix it manually when all the ingredients are almost mixed.” He picked a wood spoon and offered it to Cas.

“Dean, I don’t think—” Cas said nervously.

“You can do it, Cas.” 

Cas sighed and took the wood spoon and started moving the dough, really fast and fiercely.

“Wow, Cas, take it easy!” Dean said shocked. He stood behind Cas and took the hand that was holding the spoon, slowing the speed. “You can’t do it that fast, it’s better to do it slow.” Cas enjoyed Dean’s touch in his hand, so warm and firmly. He turned his face to see Dean, who kissed his temple and Cas smiled. “You will get tired if you do it as fast as you were doing it.” He released Cas’ hand.

Cas kept moving the spoon just like Dean said. “Like this?” Cas asked.

“Yeah, like that.” He answered. 

Dean leaned his chin in Cas’ shoulder a put his hands in his hips and approached himself to Cas a bit more, leaving no space between them. Cas bit his lip. He could feel Dean’s cock touching his ass, and he liked it. Then, Dean’s hands slipped and they started touching Cas’ crotch. Although there was the fabric of his boxers between Dean’s hands and Cas’ skin, the touch was excellent, so Cas let out a tiny and low moan. Dean smirked.

“If you keep doing that I won’t be able to end up mixing this.” Cas said in a sexy voice. Dean kissed his neck gently as his hands stroked Cas’ junk. “Dean—” Cas moaned. Dean kept doing what he was doing. “I don’t think this is the right place for this.” He said with a proud smile after some minutes.

“If you didn’t look so hot…” Dean laughed. He moved his hands to embrace Cas’ waist. Cas blushed and kept moving the spoon. After a while, Dean moved to stand next to Cas. “I guess it’s done.” He said taking away the spoon from Cas’ hand. Then, he took the griddle and put some dough on it.

“You do it like a professional.” Cas said amused. Dean smiled.

“When you do it several times, you do it like it was the easiest thing.” He said. “Come here.” Dean moved a bit away from the griddle and put Cas in front of it and before him. He gave him the cooking spatula and then he caught Cas’ hand. Cas was afraid of what Dean wanted him to do.

“You don’t want me to turn it over, don’t you?” Cas said a bit scared.

“We’ll do it together.” He whispered in his ear and pressed a soft kiss below his earlobe. Dean moved his hand to Cas’, and with the cooking spatula, they turned over the pancake. Cas let out a satisfactory laughter.

“Let’s do another one!” He said happily. Dean laughed and they turned another one over. Cas seemed to enjoy that. Dean embraced Cas’ waist with his free hand as they turned over the pancakes. Cas bit his lip, making a huge smile, and Dean smiled too.

They kept putting pancakes in the griddle and turning them over. Dean didn’t let out Cas’ waist with his hand while the other one was on Cas’ hand; Cas moved his hip softly inadvertently, feeling Dean’s crotch.

“I know what you are doing.” Dean whispered in his ear.

“What am I doing?” Cas asked confused.

“You know what it is.” He made a naughty smile and Cas looked at him perplexed. Dean sighed. “That move with your hips.” He explained raising his brows.

“Oh, sorry, Dean.”

“Don’t apologize.” He said in a disturbed tune and he gave him a short kiss, while he lowered his hand from Cas’ waist.

Sam gasped. Dean and Cas turned their faces to see him. Cas blushed a lot, and Dean a bit, but not as much as Cas. “You know, you two got a bedroom.” Sam said. Cas turned his face back to the griddle.

“C’mon Sammy, we were just kissing.”

“Your hand suggests other thing.” He said sassy. Dean glared him.

“Shut up, Sam.” Dean looked at the griddle and turned over with Cas some pancakes. Sam laughed. “Cas, bring me the bacon, please.” He said releasing his hand from Cas’ waist. Cas went to the fridge and gave him the bacon. Dean put the last pancakes on the plate, where the others were and started frying the bacon.

“May I prepare you coffee, Dean?” Cas asked. He was still a bit blushed.

“Yeah, thanks, Cas.” He said smiling. 

Cas went towards the coffee machine “You want coffee, Sam?”

“Yes, please.” Sam answered with a nice voice. Cas smiled a prepared three mugs of coffee. When all the mugs were filled, he put two in the table and he handed the other one to Sam. “Thank you, Cas.” Both smiled. Dean put the bacon in other plate and took the pancakes and the bacon, putting them in the table, and then, he sat next to Cas “Hey, are you two okay? Yesterday I hear you arguing.” Sam asked sipping his coffee. His voice showed concern. Dean and Cas looked at each other.

“It was just a stupid argument.” Cas said sipping. “We are good.”

“Better than ever indeed.” Dean said smirking. Cas looked at him with a shy but happy smile. Dean gave him a sweet kiss. Sam smiled and looked at them happily.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the chapter! I don't know when I will be able to post the next chapter, next week I have several exams and I have to study ¬¬ But I will try to update as soon as I can.  
> Anyway, thanks for the kudos, the subscriptions, the bookmarks and the comments, and a big thank you for reading.   
> Enjoy the chapter!

It was almost midday. Dean spent the morning cleaning his guns and some old ones that he and Sam found several months ago in the bunker. It didn’t take him so long; he was used to do it. When he finished, he went to the kitchen and opened the fridge to pick a bottle of beer. He decided to pick another one for Cas, who was in the greenhouse, he wanted to see him and he wanted to tell him something.

Dean walked towards the greenhouse, with the two bottles of beer in his hand. He liked how the hall that lead up to the greenhouse was lightened up with the colors of the glass door, red, white and orange. It was magical.

He opened the door and saw Cas kneeling; he was watering a small sunflower that had sprouted a few days ago.

“It’s the first flower that spreads, isn’t it?” Dean said happily.

“Yes, it is.” Cas said. He was really happy and proud. He stood up when he finished watering the flower and he gave Dean a sweet kiss. Dean smiled. He loved Cas’ sweet kisses.

“Take.” He offered Cas the beer and Cas took it. He sipped and went to the table to leave the sprinkler, Dean walked towards him with slow strides. “Soon this will look pretty awesome.” He leaned in the table, standing next to Cas, and both sipped.

“Yes. I’m looking forward for it.” His smile got wider.

“Hey Cas, I’ve been thinking—” Dean started to say. He was a bit blush. It wasn’t a big deal what he was going to ask Cas, but he was feeling nervous anyway. Cas looked at him with attention. “We could go out this afternoon and have some dinner somewhere. Just the two of us.” He said nervous. He looked at Cas.

“Like a date?”

“Yeah.” Dean didn’t like the word date, it sounded too serious, but he couldn’t deny that he was asking Cas out for a date.

“It sounds good.” Cas dedicated him a nice smile.

“Cool. Do you want to go to the movies?” He put his hand in his nape. Dean always did that when he felt a bit nervous “Or we can do any other thing, I don’t know.”

“Why are you so nervous, Dean?” Cas asked with curiosity, tilting his head. Dean looked at Cas’ blue eyes. He didn’t know why he was nervous. Maybe because it was the first date he was going to have in years. Or maybe because it was the first date he was going to have with Cas. He never felt nervous when he had to ask for those kind of things with his last hook ups, but with Cas, he couldn’t help feeling nervous.

“I don’t know. I’m just nervous.” He answered. Cas put the bottle of beer on the table and embraced Dean’s neck and kissed him. They felt their chins colliding and how their jaws clicked with the kiss, getting their lips wet and hot.

“I’d like to watch a movie with you, and have dinner alone with you.” Cas whispered as he rubbed his body against Dean’s. He really liked the idea of going out with Dean.

“Okay, then.” Dean kissed Cas. “We’ll go out, together.”

 

They were in the Impala, driving to the city. Cas was excited about their plans. It wasn’t anything special, just a movie and dinner, nothing different from what they used to do in the bunker, but the simple idea of doing it outside the bunker pleased Cas. Same happened to Dean. It wasn’t a big date, but he wanted to take out Cas, take some air, do something outside home, something special with Cas.

They parked near the cinema and walked towards it. They were going to see the last movie of _Wolverine_ , Dean liked superheroes, especially _Wolverine_ ; it was one of his favorites. He wasn’t sure if Cas was going to like it, but he didn’t complain about Dean’s choice.

Before entering to the lounge, Dean bought a big bowl of popcorn, and when Cas saw it, he opened his mouth really wide; he couldn’t believe the size of the popcorn bowl, it was huge and full of popcorn. Dean laughed when he saw Cas’ expression; he was so happy and surprised.

“I knew you’d like it.” Dean said handing Cas the bowl.

“I don’t even think I’m going to be able to eat all of them.” Cas laughed.

“You know I bought it for both of us, right?” Dean raised his eyebrows and made a sassy face. Cas smiled in a sarcastic way.

“I’ll let you eat the remaining.” He said with a rogue smile, picking some popcorn and eating them. When he tasted them, his expression was a surprised and a happy one. “These are the best ones I’ve ever taste!” Dean laughed. Cas looked so cute in that moment.

“Movies’ popcorn are the best ones.” He said picking some popcorn, without stopping smiling. Cas put his hand in Dean’s nape, in order to approach Dean closer and he kissed him. Their noses were squeezing in a funny way, but the kiss was being really good.

“Thank you so much for the popcorn, Dean.” Cas thanked pulling away. For a moment, Dean stood there; he still could taste Cas’ kiss in his lips. He looked how Cas was going towards the lounge and he made a tender smile, then he walked towards Cas and got into the lounge together.

When the film was being played, there was a moment when Dean spread his arm to embrace Cas and steal him some popcorn, but Cas hit his hand and Dean made and angry face. Cas laughed and took some popcorn and handed them to Dean.

“You are so stingy with the popcorn.” Dean whispered in an annoyed tune.

“I was just kidding you, Dean. You often do that to me too I deserve my revenge.” Cas whispered approaching the popcorn to Dean. They looked at each other. Dean had a cocky smile while Cas had his tiny soft smile.

When the film was finished, the lights switched on, and Dean stretched his arms and his legs while he was still sitting.

“Did you like the movie?” Dean answered rubbing his eyes. His sight wasn’t use to the sudden light yet.

“It was nice.” Cas answered looking at the bowl, hoping that there was any popcorn left.

“Just nice?” Dean’s face showed unbelief. Cas rolled his eyes. “ _Wolverine_ is awesome!” Cas let out a short laugh. “What’s so funny?”

“You are a nerd. I like it.”

Dean blushed. “I’m going to kill Sam for explaining you what nerd means.” He joked. Cas smiled. “You are kind of nerd too.”

Cas stood up to stretch his legs. “Yes, but that’s your fault.” He said in a casual way. Dean stared at him puzzled.

“Why do you say that?” He asked as he stood up.

“You are the one who got me into _Star Wars_ and _Star Trek_ ” He smirked. Dean ran his tongue through his lips, making a guilty smile.

“Wait until I got you into Clint Eastwood’s movies.”

“I don’t know what a Clint Eastwood is, but okay.” Dean laughed really loud. Cas narrowed his eyes. “Why are you laughing?”

“Nothing, it’s just that I like when you don’t have any idea of these things.” Dean smiled in a beautiful way. It was true that Cas wasn’t as awkward as he was when he was an angel, but despite of being human, he still had his awkwardness and Dean loved that. Cas didn’t understand at all what Dean meant, but he liked the way Dean was smiling. “C’mon let’s get out of here.” He started walking. Cas followed him and walked next to him. “You ate all the freaking popcorn!” He said looking at the bowl.

“Hey, you ate them too!”

“But not as much as you.” They threw the bowl in the trash can. “I don’t even think you are hungry at all.”

“Not really.” Cas made a grimace.

“We can wait to have dinner. If you want to, we can take a walk.” He suggested.

“I would like to.” He said in a happy voice.

They left the cinema and Dean held Cas’ hand, so Cas approached himself a bit closer to Dean and tightened Dean’s hand. It was something unusual to Dean; he never walked a street holding hands with someone, he didn’t like it, but with Cas was different; everything with Cas was different. He liked holding Cas’ hand, he liked how their fingers tangled and how Cas tightened his hand.

Most of the people they passed didn’t look at them or didn’t care that they were holding hands, but there were just a couple of people that gave them a disgusted look. Dean didn’t care. They could think whatever the fuck they wanted. Those stupid gazes weren’t going to change what he felt for Cas. They were just stupid people with stupid prejudices.

“Why do some people give us a disgusted look?” Cas asked confused.

“Because they are all dicks.” Dean explained. “They don’t like seeing two men holding hands because they think it isn’t right.” He rolled his eyes. “Just ignore them, Cas.”

“It’s just that I don’t understand why they think like that.” He hated when people think that kind of awful things.

Dean shrugged. “There are a lot of people who think that.” Dean sighed. “My father didn’t like this too much.” There was sadness in his voice. His father always tried to make Dean to look very manly. “I think if he was still alive, he wouldn’t like that I was with you, he would have hated me a bit for it.” He looked down. Cas gave him a kiss in his temple.

“I’d have punched him until he didn’t hate you anymore.” Cas said. Dean made a small smile.

“You are an idiot.”

“Thanks for insulting me.” He said making a sassy face.

“I said it in a sweet way, Cas.” Dean kissed Cas’ temple. “He could have hated me for being with you, but I could be okay with that while I could be with you.” Dean said proud. Cas looked at him. “That was so cheesy.” He made a disgusted face. Cas chuckled.

“I never expected you to say something cheesy.” He laughed. Dean didn’t like cheesy things and Cas knew it, but he really liked when Dean said those things to him.

“Don’t tell anyone that I told you that or I’ll kill you.” He whispered as he looked at Cas, with his eyebrows raised, showing that he was being serious about that he didn’t want anyone to hear about that.

“I’ll keep it to myself, then.” He smirked.

“Yeah, you better do it.” He laughed.

It was starting to get dark, but it wasn’t night already. Dean and Cas kept walking with slow steps through the streets, just talking about casual things sometimes, but the rest of the time they were in silence, enjoying their company and holding their hands.

After more than an hour walking, and after ending up where they parked the Impala, they drove to find a dinner that Dean always wanted to visit. He saw it every time he went to the city to buy something and he always wanted to eat there, and now he was going to have dinner there with Cas; he was really happy for that.

It was a diner that looked like one from the 50’s; Dean loved those diners. There were some vinyl records in the walls, a few old electric guitars and some old photos from the 50’s. The tables were dark grey and the seats were made or red vinyl. Dean thought that place was awesome. A 50 something year old woman took them to a table and gave them the menus.

“This place is awesome.” Dean said amused.

“Yes, I really like it.” Cas said with a pretty smile.

They looked at the menus. Cas didn’t know what to choose, everything sounded delicious; Dean saw his undecided face and tried to hide his smile behind the menu. Cas bit his lip, he wanted to order everything if he could.

Dean raised his sight from the menu and looked again at Cas. “Can’t decide what you want?” Dean said smirking.

“No. I think I want everything.” Cas said feeling guilty. Dean let out a laugh. Cas kicked him in the leg in a soft way. “Don’t make fun of me.”

“You haven’t eaten during thousands of years and now you want to eat everything?” He laughed.

“It wasn’t thousands of years. It was a couple of millions.” He rectified. Dean rolled his eyes as he chuckled.

“Well, how about we share some fries with bacon and cheese and some mozzarella sticks?” He suggested looking at Cas.

“That sounds good to start with.”

“You like burgers, you could order one.”

“Yes, I like this one with bacon, double cheese, lettuce, tomatoes and onion.” His tongue was starting to salivate with just thinking about food.

“That one sounds really good. I think I’m going to order it too.” Dean bit his lip. “Do you want anything else?”

“I’d like a milkshake, but I’m seeing it’s huge; I don’t think I’ll be able to finish it…” Cas made a thoughtful grimace.

“We can share it. Although knowing you, you won’t leave with a drop.” Dean made and acid grin and Cas glared him.

“I’ll leave you milkshake Dean. Don’t worry…”

Dean ordered everything Cas and him wanted and waited for the waitress to come back with the food; meanwhile Dean kept looking at the place amused, he really liked it.

“Dean.” Cas said. Dean moved his sight to see Cas. He was wearing a grey cotton hooded jacket that Cas had the sleeves rolled up, a dark garnet t-shirt and light jeans. He wasn’t wearing something that made him look too handsome, but Dean thought he looked really handsome. “Why did you want to do this?” He asked curious.

Dean chuckled. “I don’t know, man. I thought it would be nice to go out just you and me.” Dean explained. “Why do you ask?”

“I was just curious. You know I’m not really familiar with all these things.” He shrugged. “This is my first date.”

Dean raised his eyebrows; he had forgotten that Cas never went on a date, or whatever Dean wanted to call that thing they were having, before. “There has to be a first time for everything, right? Sorry it isn’t really fancy.”

“It’s perfect Dean.” Cas said with a shy smile and looked down. “You don’t have to take me out to fancy places, you don’t even have to take me anywhere, I like being with you anywhere.” He looked up to find Dean’s green eyes. Cas blushed a little. He really meant that; he wanted to stay with Dean, he didn’t care if it was in the Impala or in the fanciest place on Earth, he just wanted to be with Dean.

Dean made a sweet smile. “Well, then I won’t take you anywhere next time.” He joked.

“Don’t be so extremist.” He rolled his eyes laughing.

“You just said I didn’t have to take you anywhere.” Dean laughed as he curved his thorax to approach himself to Cas.

“Don’t take it so literal.” Cas curved his thorax too, leaning his elbows on the table. “Although I’m the one who sometimes takes everything too literal.” He recognized narrowing his eyes.

Dean looked at him surprised. “Yeah, you always take everything so literal.”

“What do you expect? I’m not familiar with a lot of humans expressions, I—” but Cas couldn’t finish the sentence, Dean approached Cas, having to lift himself a bit so he could reach Cas’ mouth, and he kissed Cas. He gave him a sweet kiss. “What was that for?” Cas asked when Dean pulled away.

“I just wanted to kiss you.” He said with a smirk on his face. Cas looked at him confused. Dean loved when Cas was bewildered.

Food arrived, the vanilla milkshake, the fries with cheese and bacon, the mozzarella sticks and two huge burgers. Cas looked at the food amazed; everything seemed and smell great. Dean held a laugh, but he was smiling widely seeing Cas’ expression.

“Can’t decide what to taste first?” Dean asked smiling. Cas shook his head as he bit his lower lip. Dean picked up a mozzarella stick and ate it, although he burnt a bit his tongue. “Fuck, this is burning a bit” He shook his hand trying to cool his mouth. Cas laughed and approached him the cold milkshake.

“Drink before your tongue burns.” Cas suggested. Dean sipped a bit and released a pant. Cas took one of the mozzarella sticks and ate it without problem; Dean looked at him surprised. “Yes, they are a bit hot, but not much.”

“Cas, for fuck’s shake, they are almost fire.” Dean said shocked. Cas rolled his eyes with a casual face. Dean took another one; he was hungry and he couldn’t wait more.

“Dean, you are going to burn your tongue.” He said worried.

“I’m fine.” He said with his mouth open., trying to cool it “It burns a little less.” He whined. “But I’m going to eat it, I’m hungry.” He chewed it and swallowed.

Cas sighed. “You are insane, Dean.” Dean was sipping the milkshake again.

“The next time, I won’t get burn.”

“The next time you won’t have a tongue.” Cas raised one of his brows. Dean glared him. “I do like too much your tongue. It would be a shame to get it burnt.” He picked another stick. Dean opened widely his eyes and blushed a bit. He always reacted like that when Cas said that kind of compliments. Cas raised his sight and saw Dean’s face and looked at him in an expectant way. Dean was still blushed, but his eyes weren’t as open as before.

“That’s why you are worried about? For my tongue? Because if I burnt it I won’t be able to do all those things you like?” He pretended to be a bit annoyed, but he was enjoying that. He liked doing that. “Thanks for worrying about me in that way” He tried to sound pissed off.

“While you keep your penis good, I’m fine.” Cas said casually. Dean looked at him shocked and with a surprised smile.

“Holy shit, since when do you say things like that?” Dean couldn’t believe what Cas was saying, but he loved when Cas said that kind of dirty things. Cas was laughing. “What happened to the Cas that was so innocent?”

“I’m dating you Dean, innocence it’s something that disappears when someone is dating you.” Cas answered with a sweet smile. Dean looked down, smiling; then, he raised his sight. “But if it wasn’t clear, I do not only like you for that. I was just trying to kidding you. Although I was serious about liking your tongue and your penis, but I do like you more for a lot of other things” He said in a serious voice. Dean rolled his eyes in a funny way

“That’s the Cas I know. Explaining obvious things” Dean laughed. “I knew that, don’t worry, I was just kidding you and pretending to be pissed off.”

“I’m glad to know it. I’m not sure about how and when I can say that things.” He half-closed his eyes.

“Yeah, I know, you are so awkward. Less than the first time I know you, but you are still awkward.” Dean said with a sweet smile. He picked some fries and made a satisfactory sound. They were delicious. “That’s why I am really surprised when you say those things, because I don’t expect them at all!” He laughed.

Cas made a shy smile and looked down. He decided to taste the fries too and when he had them in his mouth, he made the same noise that Dean did. “You should do this at home.” Cas said chewing and pointing at the fries. Dean laughed.

 _Home_. Dean thought. Cas called the bunker home. Maybe it was just a word that didn’t mean much to Cas, or maybe it meant a lot; Dean wasn’t sure about it, but Dean felt something good inside him when he heard Cas saying the word home. Cas was feeling that the bunker was his home, finally.

Dean approached Cas, leaning his elbows on the table and bending his thorax; Cas thought that Dean was going to tell him something, so he approached too, but instead of saying something, Dean kissed him. It was a tender kiss. When Dean pulled away, Cas was staring at him confused, but Dean didn’t explain why he wanted to kiss him in that moment, he just kept eating, and so did Cas.

“Wow.” Cas said when he tasted the burger, his face was full of joy. Dean looked at Cas. “This is delicious!”

“It’s pretty awesome, right?” Dean agreed with a cocky smile.

“Yes, it is.”

“Although they aren’t as good as mines.”

“They are a better than yours.”

Dean glared him. Cas raised his eyes to see Dean. “You can’t think that.”

Cas made a perplexed look. “Yes, I think it.” He said casually.

“Okay, what does that burger have that mines don’t?” He asked a bit annoyed. This time he wasn’t pretending to be it.

“Bacon and double cheese.” Cas answered showing him the burger. Dean rolled his eyes.

“Next time I make burgers, I’ll put in your bacon and double cheese and I bet you everything that you will say that mines are better.”

“If you put bacon and double cheese to your burgers, they will be the best burgers in the world.”

Dean made a proud face. They kept eating, talking a bit and laughing, until they ordered some dessert. Dean forced Cas to taste an apple pie, Cas really liked apples, and Dean wasn’t going to let Cas get out of that place without tasting a pie, something that Cas never did before and Dean wanted to see Cas’ reaction. And of course, Dean ordered for himself another pie, but a cherry one.

When the waitress served them the pies, Dean was looking expectant for Cas’ reaction. Cas looked at him in a blurred way.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Cas wanted to know.

“It’s the first time you are going to taste a pie. I want to see your face!” Dean answered enthusiastically.

Cas opened his mouth to show his confusion and narrowed his eyes. “Dean, it’s just a pie.”

“Don’t you dare to say that.” He said with a serious face.

Cas rolled his eyes. “Yes, I know. I forgot who I was talking with.” He sighed. Dean glared him. “You are insane.” Cas said chuckling. He took a piece of pie with his fork and put it in his mouth. Dean watched him with attention. Cas really liked it, it tasted quite good.

“And?” Dean inquired expectant.

“It’s quite good.”

“Just quite good? Pies are awesome!” Dean exclaimed with fanaticism. Cas let out a laughter. “Quite good…” He said rolling his eyes and starting to eat his cherry pie. He made a soft moan and Cas looked at him a bit blushed. Dean kept doing moans as he closed his eyes with every taste.

“Dean.” Cas whispered. Dean opened his eyes, without stopping chewing. “You are doing the same sounds you make when we are… intimating.”

“Intimating? Holy shit Cas, you couldn’t be cheesier.” He laughed. Cas glared him and made a grin. “And you love these sounds.” He whispered with a rogue smile. Cas blushed. “I love making you get blush.” Dean smirked.

“You are doing this because I said that burger was better than yours, right?” He said with an acid smile.

“Yeah. I normally do these sounds, but now I’m intensifying them.” Dean smirked. Cas kicked his foot. “Auch!” Dean made a grimace and kicked Cas’ foot. Cas smirked and kicked him again. “Would you stop? You are interrupting my intimacy with my pie.” He joked. Cas rolled his eyes and kept eating his pie, looking down and a bit angry. Dean saw Cas’ angry expression and he knew that he shouldn’t have said that.. “Cas.” He started to say. But Cas ignored him. “Cas, c’mon, I was just kidding you.” But Cas kept looking at his pie. Dean sighed and approached his hand to Cas’ and stroked it. Cas looked at Dean’s eyes, so shiny and green.

“You are an assbutt.” Cas said with an annoyed grimace.

“Yeah, but I’m your assbutt.” He smirked. Cas made a tiny smile. He picked a piece of pie and offered it to Dean. “It’s your pie, Cas.”

“Just eat, Dean.”

Dean opened his mouth and ate it. The apple pie was delicious too. “Thanks for the bite.” He licked his lips. Cas made a grateful smile.

They kept eating their pies, Cas gave Dean his last piece of it, although Dean tried to refuse it, but Cas wanted him to eat it, and Dean didn’t doubt it twice. Then, Dean finished his pie and with his finger he took the jam that was left on the plate, licking his finger. Cas took with his finger the remaining on his plate and offered it to Dean, who blushed a little bit, but he took Cas’ hand and licked Cas’ finger dipped in apple jam. Cas shivered a little with the touch of Dean’s tongue in his finger. He bit his lower lip as he watched how Dean licked his finger, getting blushed; he was starting to feel turned on. When Dean didn’t left any jam on Cas’ finger, he pressed a small kiss on Cas’ fingertip and then, he released Cas’ hand.

Dean paid and they left the dinner; Dean suggested taking a walk because it wasn’t too late, and Cas agreed. Dean embraced Cas with one of his arms, putting his hand on Cas’ shoulder, holding Cas tight. Cas let out a warm breath, feeling really safe with Dean’s arm in his shoulder; he brought himself closer to Dean and moved his arm behind Dean’s back and held Dean with his waist. When Dean felt Cas hand there, he pressed a gentle kiss in Cas’ temple. They liked to hold each other, to feel each other’s body very close. Dean never had that feeling for anyone before, but Cas was the exception for everything, holding hands, going on a date, lingering on bed with or without sex in the mornings, walking through anywhere holding each other, looking at each other without saying anything, just enjoying their company… All those things that Dean never expected to do, he was doing it with Cas, and he really liked that. He never felt as good as when he was with Cas.

After walking for several minutes, they went back to the Impala. Cas was starting to feel a bit cold, so Dean decided that the best idea was to get back home. Cas fall asleep in the Impala; he was resting his head on the window. Dean looked at him and smiled. Cas was human now, but he wasn’t used to humanity yet. Dean looked back at the road, listening to Cas’ soft breathing.

When they arrived at the bunker, Dean parked and then, he woke up Cas.

“Cas, c’mon, we are home.” Dean whispered shaking Cas, who opened his eyes, confused and looked around. He was still a bit sleepy. “Bed is almost here.” He laughed.  
Cas rubbed his face and stretched his arms, then he opened the door and got out. “I didn’t realize I fall asleep.” Cas murmured when Dean was out of the car.

“Don’t worry.” He approached Cas and embraced him with one arm. “It’s been a long day for you.” He smiled.

They started to walk towards the door. “I really enjoyed our date, Dean.” Cas said resting his head in Dean’s shoulder.

“Me too, Cas.” And he kissed Cas in a soft way before opening the door.


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay, you know I've been with exams and yesterday I was trying to get over with SPN's episode, I'm still not over it T_T  
> Anyway, enjoy this chapter, thanks for the comments, the kudos, the subscriptions, the bookmarks and of course, thank you so much for reading!

Dean was making dinner. He was making ribs with his homemade barbeque sauce. The ribs were already in the oven and it would take a couple of hours to be done. Dean was making the sauce, he would put it on the ribs after they were a bit roasted and then, he would leave the ribs a bit more in the oven with the sauce on the ribs until they were ready to be served.

Sam, Cas and Kevin were in one of the rooms with a big table; usually, they had dinner in the kitchen, but when the tray with food was quite big, they had to have dinner in that room, because the kitchen’s table wasn’t big enough for the tray, the plates and the four of them. While Dean was cooking, the rest of them set the table, although dinner wouldn’t be done for an hour more or less.

Cas left the room, leaving Sam and Kevin talking about some magic card,s something that Cas didn’t have much to talk about, so he went to see Dean in the kitchen. Dean was washing a wood spoon that he used to move the barbeque sauce. Cas approached him and embraced him by the waist, pressing a kiss in his nape.

“Hey Cas.” Dean said happy. He didn’t hear Cas coming because of the sound of the water. It was a nice surprise for Dean.

“Hello Dean.” Cas said nuzzling Dean’s nape. Dean turned off the tap and dried the spoon. When he finished, he turned over and kissed Cas’ mouth. Cas bit his nether lip when Dean pulled his mouth away.

“Let me check the ribs.” He said moving away from Cas’ arms. He looked at the oven and moved some wheel to reduce some degrees the temperature.

Cas moved to see the sauce, it smelled really good. “The sauce smells really good.”

Dean raised his sight and smirked. “You can taste it.” Cas dipped his finger in the sauce and put his finger in his mouth. The sauce tasted delicious. Dean laughed. “Good, huh?”

“Dean, it’s delicious.” He said licking his finger. He didn’t want to leave any remaining. Dean smiled wider.

“I’m glad you like it.” He said proudly. Cas dipped his finger again. “Hey, if you keep dipping your finger, you aren’t going to leave any sauce for the ribs!”

“You have made a big mistake by letting me tasting the sauce.” Cas said before licking his finger.

“Yeah, I shouldn’t have let you.” He laughed. Cas made a guilty smile, then, he dipped again his finger. “Cas, seriously, stop, you—” but Dean couldn’t finish the sentence. Cas put his finger dipped in sauce in Dean’s lips, pressing them softly with his finger. Dean looked at Cas, who was just a few inches away from him. Cas moved his finger along Dean’s lips, leaving sauce in them. Cas licked his finger to remove the remaining while Dean was staring at Cas a bit confused.

Cas bring himself closer to Dean, leaving no space between their bodies and ran his hands through Dean’s hair and started kissing him. Dean melted down with that spirited kiss. He put his hands in Cas’ waist and pressed him against his body a bit more. They were moving their jaws fiercely, feeling how their chins collided. Cas was tasting Dean’s lips, soaked with sauce, removing it from them, while Dean was enjoying how Cas was tasting him. When there wasn’t more sauce in Dean’s lips, Dean moved his tongue inside Cas’ mouth, making Cas feel really hot and he ran his fingers through Dean’s hair faster, in a needy way. They were kissing like if they were the oxygen their lungs needed.

Sam cleared his throat, so Dean and Cas pulled their mouths away, and Cas got really blushed when he saw Sam standing in the door looking at them. Dean didn’t blush; he was just holding Cas tightly.

“Dean, you don’t let him alone for a moment.” Sam said sassy and smiling.

“Hey, he was the one who kissed me!” Dean exclaimed on the defensive. Sam chuckled. Cas pulled away from Dean, blushed and looking down. Dean rolled his eyes, he didn’t like when Cas was so shy in front of Sam or Kevin, they were just kissing, he shouldn’t feel that embarrassed. But it was understandable, that was Cas’ first relationship, and although with Dean he wasn’t embarrassed at all, when he was surrounded by people he knew, he felt a bit awkward.

“Kevin and I are a bit hungry” Sam said approaching the fridge. He took two beers.

“Pick some snacks or something; this is going to take almost an hour.” Dean explained.

Sam sighed. “Okay.” He opened a cupboard and picked some chips. “I let you get back to what you were doing.” He said giggling and leaving the kitchen.

Dean made his done face while Cas got redder. “Bitch.” He murmured. “You are really blushed.” He said when he looked at Cas.

“Yes, I’m not use to Sam seeing us kissing.” Cas said with an uncomfortable grin.

Dean kissed him. Cas still tasted like his barbeque sauce. “You shouldn’t feel like that.” He looked at Cas’ eyes and sighed. Cas made a tired smile. “Wanna help me peeling some potatoes?” He said taking the peeler. Cas took it and then he kissed Dean’s cheek. Dean looked behind to see the door and make sure there wasn’t anyone else, so he took Cas’ face and kissed him again. Cas opened his eyes widely at first; he wasn’t expecting that kiss, but then, he closed his eyes and kissed Dean back, swirling his tongue with Dean’s. “I guess that's where we left.” Dean smirked when he pulled away. Cas smiled shyly and bit his lower lip. Then, they started peeling the potatoes.

After several minutes and after putting the sauce on the ribs and making some fries, Dean took out the ribs from the oven and carried them to the room where Sam, Kevin and Cas were waiting hungrily for the food. As always, it was delicious, the ribs were tasty and the sauce gave them a great flavor, and the fries were extremely good. When they finished, all of them have to wash their hands because the sauce was stuck in their fingers and they were sticky, and then, they came back to the room to eat a dessert. Sam as always ate a piece of fruit while Kevin, Dean and Cas were eating vanilla ice-cream.

When they finished their desserts, they stayed there, without standing up, talking about everything; it was being a really nice dinner. There was a moment when Sam and Kevin, who were sitting together in front of Cas and Dean, started talking about quantum physics because they saw that afternoon a documentary. Cas knew what they were talking about, but he just listened to them, however, Dean didn’t understand most of the things they were saying, some of them were a bit boring for him. He looked at Cas, who was sitting next to him and he was paying attention to the conversation, with his arms resting on the table. He was wearing a dark grey Henley shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and Dean thought that he looked really good with it.

Dean moved his arms so they could be behind the table. He rested one of his hands in his thigh and he put his right hand in Cas’ thigh and started to stroke it slowly and softly. Cas shivered when he felt Dean’s hand; he couldn’t believe that Dean was doing that right there. He glared at Dean, but Dean ignored him, he was looking at Sam and Kevin without stopping stroking Cas’ thigh. Cas looked ahead too and started to get blushed slowly. Dean’s hand was gentle, but the touch of it was turning Cas on. Dean moved his hand to graze Cas’ crotch in a gentle way. Cas had to bit his tongue to avoid letting out a moan. He was feeling tense; that wasn’t the best place to get that touchy, he could have moved Dean’s hand away, but when Dean touched his groin with his fingers, Cas didn’t want Dean to stop. He was starting to feel how his cock wanted to get hard. That was really inappropriate and Cas’ face was really red, but the touch of Dean’s hand was extremely good.

“Cas, are you all right?” Sam wondered. He saw Cas was blushed and looking a bit tense. Dean moved his hand away discretely and looked at Cas worried, as if he wasn’t the reason of why Cas was like that.

“Yes, I’m good; I’m just feeling a bit warm.” Cas said trying to look normal. Sam looked at Dean, who was pretending to look a bit confused.

“Yeah, well, it’s been a heavy dinner” Dean said casually. “Okay, you all are gonna help me washing this.” He said standing up. Sam and Kevin made a tired grimace.

“Now?” Kevin asked annoyed.

“Yes, now. And I don’t want excuses, I’ve been cooking the whole noon and I’m not going to wash everything all by myself. So c’mon, get up and carry all of this.” He ordered being bossy. Kevin sighed and picked the plates, while Sam took the glasses and the cutlery. Cas stood up too and decided to clean some stains with the napkins. When Sam and Kevin were gone, he kissed fiercely Dean’s mouth. It was so abrupt for Dean that he almost fell down.

“When we finish doing this, we have to go to the bedroom.” Cas said needy.

“Awesome.” Dean smirked. “You liked the thigh thing, huh?” He said cockily.

“Yes.” He admitted shyly. “But the next time you do it, I don’t think I will be able to avoid a moan.”

Dean smirked and Cas picked some stuff that was on the table and went to the kitchen, while Dean looked how Cas walked away. He bit his lip; Cas looked so sexy backwards.

The four of them collected and washed everything, there was a lot of to wash, but if wasn’t too much when four people did it. While they were doing all of that, sometimes Cas looked at Dean with desire, he needed to go to the bedroom as soon as possible, he couldn’t hold on anymore; Dean’s strokes in his thigh turned him on so much; he was surprise that he didn’t have a boner.

Once everything was clean and in its right place, Dean took Cas’ hand and led them to the bedroom, leaving Sam and Kevin in the kitchen, they could hear as they were going towards the bedroom Sam saying “I think it’d be better if I go to my bedroom in an hour or so”

Dean opened the bedroom door and switched on the lights, and he and Cas got in; Cas closed the door and grabbed Dean by his shirt’s flaps and kissed him fiercely. Dean shivered with the kiss; Cas was kissing him as he wanted to take all the air from his whole body.

“The thigh thing really tuned you on.” Dean said when they pulled away. He was breathing fast, but he didn’t care; he loved when Cas kissed him like that, when he was breathless.

“You can’t even imagine it.” Cas said horny. 

He kissed Dean again, now he was pushing his tongue inside Dean’s mouth. Dean was holding Cas by his waist, approaching him, so he could feel Cas’ hips against him. Cas took off Dean’s shirt and cupped Dean’s jaw while he kissed him. He pulled away for a moment to breath; both of them were panting a little. They looked at each other’s eyes with desire and then, Dean kissed Cas again, moving his mouth to feel every single little part of Cas’. He felt how Cas’ hands descended to end up in Dean’s hips and Cas’ hands moved beneath Dean’s t-shirt, feeling Dean’s chest, stroking it. Later Cas pulled away his mouth to take off Dean’s t-shirt. Dean bit his lower lip and took off Cas’ Henley shirt, then, he stroked Cas’ chest and kissed him fiercely again.

Cas moved Dean and him to the bed, laying down Dean. Cas started to take off his boots and his socks as fast as he could, while Dean looked at Cas smiling in a rogue way. When Cas had bare feet, he took off Dean’s boots and socks, as fast as he could, later, he lay above Dean and kissed him, putting his hands on Dean’s neck and stroking it softly. Dean embraced Cas and while they were kissing, he bit Cas’ lower lip softly. He moved his hands along Cas’ back to find his jeans and he unbuttoned them, taking them off with just a few moves. Cas let out a sweet and low moan when Dean caressed his groin and Dean made a satisfactory face. Cas bit his lip and ran his hands along Dean’s chest and he pressed a gentle kiss in Dean’s lips. His hands were now in Dean’s jeans and he took them off with a little help of Dean.

Now Cas was being a little slower than before. He kissed Dean and played with his tongue. He took off Dean’s boxers and his too. Cas left Dean’s lips and kissed his chin, then his neck, going really slowly and pressing sweet kisses on Dean’s skin. Dean loved when Cas went that slow when he kissed his skin; he loved the touch of Cas’ lips in his skin, getting it warm and wet. Cas licked and sucked Dean’s neck while with his finger caressed Dean’s nipple. Dean had one of his hands in Cas’ hair and the other one in Cas’ blade. He had his eyes opened and he was making low moans when Cas kissed him in the neck. Cas kept descending his kisses until he was in one of Dean’s nipples; he bit it softly, without making pain at all and Dean shivered, letting out a sweet moan for Cas’ ears. 

“Oh shit.” Dean said with a smirk on his face. “Keep doing that, please.” He asked needy and looking at Cas.

Their cocks were already hard, they could feel them against their bodies, but Dean wanted Cas to play a little more with his nipple, so Cas was going to do it. He kissed it, licked it and bit it until it was erect, while Dean was making wonderful low noises, biting his lip and shivering with every touch of Cas’ mouth and tongue in his nipple and looking at him with desire. Cas pulled his mouth away after some moments. They looked at each other for a moment and Cas took Dean’s legs, and put them around his waist and kissed Dean with passion.

“Cas.” Dean interrupted.

“What?” Cas asked.

“Hold on a second.” He said. Cas made a confused and frustrated look. “Pick up the lube; it’s in the first drawer. And also the tissues’ box.”

Cas took a deep breath. Dean explained him a few days ago when he bought the lube that they should use it, because if they were going to have sex quite often, they would have to put some lube in order to avoid feeling sore and ease the penetration, so they didn’t end up with any kind of annoying wound. Cas found it reasonable, but he hated to interrupt for some moments touching Dean to put on the lube, and he wasn’t really comfortable with the fact of having lube on him, because he was sure that he wasn’t going to feel Dean quite well.

Once Cas picked up the bottle, Dean raised himself and took the bottle. “Don’t look at it like that.” Dean said laughing when he saw Cas’ small disgusted face. “It’s just lube Cas, you are still going to feel me perfectly.” He opened the bottle and dropped the jelly on both of his hands. Cas looked at him wondered. Dean started to move his hands so the lube was spread perfectly. “You have to spread it so it starts to get warm.” He explained. Cas half-closed his eyes. Then, Dean placed his hands in Cas’ hard cock and started to cover it with the lube.

“Dean—” Cas said in a tiny moan. Dean was right, he could still feel Dean, and he was feeling his nice warm strokes in his cock. He needed to fuck him soon.

“You like that, huh?” He said with a smirk as he covered Cas’ cock with the lube.

“Dean, please, finish soon, I need to get inside you.” His voice was needy.

Dean looked at Cas’ eyes. “Just let me put lube on me, Cas.” He said with passion. He loved when Cas showed how much he needed to touch him.

“No.” Cas said firmly. Dean stared at him confused. “I want to put it on you, please.”

The hunter made a smirk and handed him the bottle. Cas drop the jelly on his hands. It was a strange texture; he made a weird face, making Dean to let out a soft laugh. Cas spread the lube in his hands, it started to become warmer, being less weird. He stroked quite fast Dean’s cock, putting all the lube on it. Dean let out a soft moan and Cas smiled.

“Just, let’s clean our hands and we can start.” Dean said picking some paper tissues. They didn't want any preparation with his fingers, they wanted to fuck as soon as they could, trying to last as much as possible. They cleaned their hands really fast and then, Cas swooped Dean, laying Dean on the mattress again and being Cas above Dean. “Whoah, Cas!” Dean said surprised and laughing. “C’mon big man, fuck me.” He whispered in a sexy voice and he placed his fingers in Cas’ messy hair.

Cas bit his lower lip. He was really turned on. Dean embraced with his legs Cas’ waist and then, Cas started to fuck Dean.

Dean let out a noisy moan. “Cas!—” Dean moaned.

It was easier to get inside of Dean this time, the lube eased the penetration and Cas could feel perfectly Dean’s warmth. He rocked his hips slowly at first, moving his cock inside Dean, making him to shiver and to moan. Cas really liked fucking Dean, because he felt Dean in a more intimate and intense way, he felt like if his body and Dean’s were made for each other. Nothing in the world that Cas had ever known felt like fucking Dean.

Cas fucked him a bit harder and Dean moaned louder. Dean loved when Cas’ cock was inside him, filling the emptiness. He tightened his fingers in Cas’ hair and nailed Cas’ back with his other hand. Cas was shaking his hips, colliding with Dean’s, getting both of them a bit sweaty. Dean’s back curved when Cas’ cock found that sensible place and Dean moaned loudly.

“Holy fuck, Cas!”

Cas kissed Dean’s neck as he fucked Dean, being gentle and passionate with Dean’s neck. Dean in that moment felt extremely good, he felt Cas’ lips in his skin, pressing kisses and sometimes sucking it, and he felt Cas’ cock getting in and out of him, making him feel really warm and wet inside him. He could feel Cas’ skin touching his own, getting a bit sticky because of the sweat. Dean moaned louder and then he cupped Cas’ face to kiss him for some seconds, before he had to let out another moan. Cas bit his nether lip when he saw Dean’s face full of pleasure. Dean tightened his legs to bring a bit closer Cas, who smiled and fucked him harder; Dean’s back curved even move and let out an orgasm. He felt really alive when Cas was inside him.

Dean nailed even more Cas’ back. He could hear Cas moaning mixed with the sound of him own orgasm. His heart was pumping blood quite fast, his spine was curved and his head was pressing the pillow as Cas fucked him harder. Dean was feeling pleasure in every single part of his body. He never felt something like that in his whole life.

“Cas” Dean murmured panting. He separated his legs and stretched them. “Turn over and lay above me.” He requested, looking at Cas’ eyes.

Cas didn’t ask, he didn’t even make his confused face, he just did it. He turned over, laying his back on Dean’s chest. Suddenly, Dean was biting softly and kissing Cas’ neck, and one of Dean’s hands was in Cas’ nipple, pinching it and stroking it. Cas bit his lip and moved his hips with the touch; Dean was too good with his hands. Then Dean started fucking him.

“Oh, Dean—” Cas moaned and closed his eyes.

Dean was shaking his hips to put his cock in Cas, while he was sucking Cas’ neck and playing with his nipple. Cas moved his hand to rest in Dean’s hip and with the other, he tightened Dean’s hair. He curved his back a little and moaned when Dean’s cock pressed Cas’ sensitive part. Cas rocked his hips and bit his lip, Dean was fucking him really good, and those kisses and small bites in his neck and the gentle pinches in his nipple were too great. Dean’s other hand ran slowly through Cas’ chest, stroking it, until he arrived at Cas’ cock and grabbed him, so Dean started to move his hand along Cas’ cock. Cas shivered; the sensation was too much. Dean’s hand was working on his cock while Dean was fucking him, pressing his cock harder inside Cas so Cas could feel it and there was the other hand on Cas’ nipple. Cas’ back curved even more and moaned louder.

“Dean! Dean! Dean—!” Cas moaned.

Dean was inside him and touching him in a great way. Cas was feeling extremely good, he couldn’t even control his body anymore, he could only feel Dean inside him and touching him and wanking him, making him to shiver, to curve his back and to moan, because the pleasure was too high. He let out a loud orgasm. Dean’s hand moved faster and harder and so did his cock, and Cas couldn’t have imagined that he could felt even better than before. Dean was making extraordinary things with his hands and with his cock and Cas was feeling rapt, even there were moments when his breathing stopped and he had to let out another orgasm. They should had have sex years ago.

They were starting to get exhausted; they were panting and sweating, but they didn’t want to stop, they wanted to hold on for a bit more, it felt incredibly good what they were doing. They could hold on. They needed to. The urge for coming for both of them was starting to be really intense, but they needed to keep doing that for a little bit longer.

Cas turned over when Dean’s hand wasn’t in his cock anymore, he wanted to face Dean and he kissed him. Cas rolled with Dean and then, he embraced Dean’s neck. Dean cleaned his hand on the sheet, tomorrow they will have to put the sheets in the washing machine, but in that moment, that wasn’t important. Dean raised both of them; Cas was sitting on the mattress, in the border of the bed, while Dean was kneeling on it and sitting in Cas’ lap. Cas pulled away his mouth and looked at Dean, who gave him a passionate look and bit his lower lip. Cas descended his hands from Dean’s neck to his hips and gripped him firmly, shaking him in order to fuck him. Dean closed his eyes and curved his neck, making a silence moan. Cas was again inside him and he loved it; he had to put his hands in Cas’ hair. Cas was now licking and biting Dean’s nipple while he fucked Dean.

“Don’t stop Cas” Dean moaned.

The touch of Cas’ tongue in his nipple was something that Dean adored, and when Cas bit it in a gentle way too. Dean was really sensitive there and Cas knew how to take advantage of it and to make Dean feel so good. Dean moaned again when Cas’ cock reached the sensitive part and Dean moaned louder. He shook his hips harder with the touch. Cas then released one of his hands from Dean’s hips and took Dean’s cock, wanking it, and Dean in that moment curved his back and moaned louder.

“Cas—!”

That was extremely good. Dean was shivering and feeling how his brain sent electrical impulses every time Cas’ cock hit the sensitive part inside him and how Cas’ hand worked on Dean’s cock. It was so pleasurable that Dean couldn’t open his eyes for a second. Cas’ hand moved quicker and harder, and his cock did it too; Dean’s back curved more and he tightened Cas’ hair, he had to let out an orgasm again; they could stay doing that forever, it felt extremely good, it was so intense and great. Dean loved that, he loved how he couldn’t focus in anything else than Cas, he didn’t care about the rest of the world, because Cas, the fiercely angel that gripped him tight and raised him from perdition was inside of him, making him feel things that he never felt before, to moan and to make orgasms with every single touch of his cock, filling that emptiness that he always feel in an awesome and warm way.

When Cas released his hand from Dean’s cock, Dean made a naughty smile and kissed him, swirling his tongue with Cas’ as he lay Cas down, being Dean above him; Cas cleaned his hand in the sheets and embraced Dean by his back and moved them upper, so their legs weren’t in the border of the bed anymore. Dean took Cas’ legs and bent them and stretched them, so Cas could lead them in Dean’s shoulders and Cas released his arms from Dean’s back. Cas looked at him with desire and Dean smiled wider. Dean kissed Cas and started fucking him. Cas had to pull away his mouth because he had to moan. Dean fucked him a bit harder and Cas moaned louder.

“Dean— Dean—”

Dean searched Cas’ hands and held them. They tangled they fingers and Cas tightened Dean’s hands. Dean was now kissing and sucking Cas’ neck as he fucked Cas. Dean’s cock reached Cas’ sensitive part and Cas made and orgasm with Dean’s name in it. When Dean was inside him, he didn’t feel that awful emptiness inside him anymore, Dean filled him and that was great. Cas bit his lip when Dean tightened his hands and pressed a fiercely kiss in his neck. Then, he let out another orgasm when Dean fucked him harder and Cas’ back arched and his hips shook. That feeling was better than anything Cas knew. He loved feeling Dean in that way, it was perfect.

"Dean— I have to—" Cas said breathy.

"I know Cas." Dean said panting. He approached his mouth to Cas' ear. "Let's come at the same time."

Cas nodded as he smiled, then, he pressed the back of his head in the mattress as Dean rocked his hips, moving his cock faster in and out of Cas. He couldn’t open his eyes; he opened his mouth to make a silent moan as his whole body shook while he felt how Dean’s cum filled him and how his was released, soaking Dean's and his belly. Cas had to bring his body closer to Dean, he didn’t want to let any space between their bodies, and he shook his body again as Dean kept fucking him until all of their cum was released.

They released their hands and Dean lay down next to Cas, who whined a bit when Dean wasn’t inside him anymore. They were suffocated and exhausted; their breathings were fast, they were panting and they couldn’t even move. The sweat was in every single part of their bodies and there was cum in their bellys and in their cocks, mixing it with the sweat. Cas had his eyes still closed, trying to recover his breath. He opened his eyes to rest his head in the pillow, like Dean was doing. They had sex for so long that they were really tired, but it was worth.

Dean took a long deep breath and he leaned one of his arms in his forehead. He could see how his chest went down and up really fast with every single breath. “I think—” Dean started to say. He was too tired to speak. “I’m going to have a heart attack.” He said quickly. Cas let out a laugh mixed with a pant.

“Me too.” Cas said. He never felt that exhausted before.

There was a silence. They needed to recover their breaths, so they didn’t say anything. The only sound in the bedroom was their panting breaths. After several moments, their breaths were starting to be normal; they were exhausted, but not as much as before. 

Dean picked some tissues and started to clean Cas. He removed the come that was in his belly and then, he cleaned the remaining of the lube in his cock.

“Dean, if you kept doing that I’m going to have another erection.” Cas said a bit breathy. “And I am really tired to have another sexual intercourse with you.”

“Sorry, Cas.” Dean couldn’t help a smile. “I just like to touch you.” He said panting. He gave Cas the tissue and let him to clean himself as Dean took another tissue for himself.

Once they were clean, Cas rolled in the bed to lay aside and to embrace Dean’s chest, that was still moving quite fast.

Dean embraced Cas and stroked his hair with one of his hands. “That sex was awesome.” Dean said panting.

“Yes, it was.” Cas said a bit blushed. He nuzzled Dean’s neck.

Dean let out a deep breath. He was now feeling less exhausted. He squeezed Cas against him and Cas smiled. “Oh crap, I’m exhausted, but it was worth.” He said in a deep breath.

Cas raised his head to see Dean’s green eyes. He moved his hand from Dean’s chest and cupped Dean’s jaw; he kissed Dean slowly and softly, he moved his tongue slowly in Dean’s mouth and Dean swirled his with Cas’. When they pulled away, Dean stared at Cas’ eyes and smiled in a sweet way. He ran his fingers though Cas’ hair in a tender way, stirring it more than it already was.

Cas looked at Dean’s freckles and smiled. He passed his thumb above them. “You have a lot of freckles.” Cas said giggling.

“Yeah, I know.” Dean said. He knew he had a lot of freckles and he was sure that he had hundreds of it.

“I really love your freckles.”

Cas started touring Dean’s freckles with his fingers. Dean blushed a bit with the contact. He looked at Cas, whose face was just a few inches from his and who was looking with a lot of attention at Dean’s freckles. Cas always loved Dean’s freckles, he had hundreds of them, some of them were small, others were big, but Cas thought that they were all beautiful. Cas thought that Dean’s green stunning eyes and his freckles were one of the most beautiful things that he had ever seen. He pressed a sweet kiss in Dean’s cheek, full of freckles, and then in the other cheek, also with a lot of freckles. He looked at Dean and pressed his nose against his, making Dean to smile, and he stroked with his thumbs the zone where Dean’s freckles were.

“I love you Dean.” Cas said.

Dean’s heart skipped a beat. He wasn’t expecting that. Cas was always so unpredictable. “Cas, I— I—” Dean said nervously. He wasn’t sure if he was ready to tell Cas that.

“Dean.” He started saying. He could feel Dean’s nervousness. “I know that you hate talking about feelings and those things.” His voice was soft and warm. “You don’t have to say you love me. I know you do.” He kissed Dean softly and Dean got lost in that kiss.

Dean looked at Cas in a tender way when they pulled away. Cas rested his head in the pillow, and Dean leaned his chin on Cas’ head. Dean didn’t say anything; he didn’t know what to say in that moment. His heart was beating fast, even Cas could feel it. Cas embraced Dean and Dean did the same with Cas. But although feeling a bit weird after hearing those three words, Dean was feeling really good; they had amazing sex, they were cuddling and Cas told him that he loved him. Maybe the last part could have waited a little bit, but Dean didn’t expect Cas to say those words to him. It had been a long time since Dean heard those three words from someone who was dating him, and that person ended up a bit bad and she didn’t even remember him. Dean didn’t told Cas he loved him too because he was a bit afraid of telling him that; everyone he loved ended up in a bad way.

Cas was starting to think that he shouldn’t have said that to Dean, because he was feeling that Dean was a bit nervous. It was a touchy thing for Dean, but Cas really loved Dean and he needed Dean to know it. He pressed a kiss in Dean’s neck, and Dean seemed to get away from all his thoughts. Dean kissed Cas’ mouth sweetly and looked at him again.

“Goodnight Cas” Dean said.

Cas smiled. “Goodnight to you too, Dean.”


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoy the chapter. And once again, thanks for the kudos, the bookmarks, the subscriptions and of course, thank you so much for reading, you really make me so happy by just seeing that you are reading and I hope you are enjoying this as much as I do :)

The sunlight seeped through the window and illuminated the bedroom. It woke up Dean. He rubbed his face with his hand and turned his face to sleep a bit more. He felt Cas’ hair tickling his chin. He opened his eyes lazily and saw Cas, laying aside, with the sheet covering his hips down, letting the naked back to be uncovered. Cas had his hand resting in Dean’s chest, with his chest pressing Dean’s side chest. Dean thought that Cas looked beautiful; his hair was messy, his lips were relaxed in a soft way, almost making a smile and his breath was calmed. Dean brought Cas a little bit closer with the arm he had in Cas’ shoulder.

Cas looked so perfect, the sunlight painted his skin in a pretty way, making beautiful shadows in Cas’ body where the light couldn’t reach him. Dean really liked Cas’ body, it was so beautiful, so pure, so perfect. He moved the hand that wasn’t in Cas’ shoulder slowly, drawing the strong and gentle curves of Cas, stroking his skin sweetly, he didn’t want to wake him up. His hand arrived where the sheet started to cover Cas and pulled a bit downer. Dean stared at Cas’ hipbone and with his thumb, he stoked it. Then, he toured the curve of Cas’ butt gently. He nuzzled Cas’ hair and tightened the hand he had in Cas’ shoulder a little bit more. He was so fucking beautiful.

Dean remembered that Cas told him last night that he loved him and that Dean didn’t say anything. He was feeling nervous and insecure. Every time he loved someone, the world wanted to take that person away from him in an awful or painful way. Although Sam was still there, there had been a lot of painful moments between them, but anyways, Sam was still there with him. But he was afraid that with Cas wouldn’t be like that. He didn’t want Cas to be taken away from him. He needed Cas, he loved Cas. He **loved** Cas. He was in love with Cas, he couldn’t deny it anymore. He loved waking up next to him, being naked or not, he loved his kisses, he loved the way he made him feel, he loved his voice, he loved his expressions, he loved how he caressed him, he loved how he fucked him, he loved talking about nonsense things with him, he loved his body, he loved his voice, he loved the way he made things, he loved his breathing, he loved how he always tried to made him happy, he loved when he was confused, he loved the sound of his laughter, he loved the way he looked at him, he fucking loved Cas for a lot of things, he loved Cas and Cas should know it. Dean knew that their lives weren’t easy or normal, but what the hell, that wasn’t going to avoid him to love Cas. And if something or someone would dare to take Cas away for him, that thing or that person was going to regret it for the rest of his life. Nothing was going to take Cas away from him. Dean kissed Cas in that moment. Cas woke up with the kiss and opened his eyes slowly. 

“I love you.” Dean said. Cas was a bit sleepy, but he looked surprised at Dean. “I love you, Cas. I fucking love you.” Dean kissed Cas again, squeezing him against his body. “I love you! I love you!” He shouted happily and kissed him spontaneously.

“Dean, you are insane.” Cas said confused by all the _I love you_ and kisses.

“You love when I am insane.” He laughed. Cas laughed too. “I love you.” He said stroking Cas’ hip.

“I know.” Cas made a beautiful smile. 

“Did you just Han Soloed me?” He asked with a naughty smile. He had his eyes half-closed and one eyebrow rose too.

Cas bit his lower lip and made and smile. “I think that I might be.”

Dean kissed him. Cas could feel the smile on Dean’s lips as he kissed him. “I love you, Cas.”

“I love you too, Dean.”

Dean smiled wider and kissed him again. “I love you” He said between kisses. Cas laughed; he never expected to hear so many _I love you_ from Dean in that short period of time, but he really loved it. He knew that Dean had difficulty saying those things and he was so happy that Dean was saying those words to him, because Cas knew that they meant a lot, that Dean was saying them from the bottom of his heart.

“I love you” Cas said between kisses too.

They kept kissing passionately, twisting their tongues. Cas gripped Dean’s hair while Dean hold him tighter in his arms. When Cas pulled away he looked at Dean with love and a bit confused.

“I thought you weren’t going to tell me that.” Cas said stroking Dean’s cheek.

“Yeah, well, I wanted you to know it.” Dean said casually. He kissed Cas again. He didn’t want to talk too much about it. He was still afraid that something could take Cas away from him, but in that moment, he only wanted to focus on Cas’ kisses. “Hey, how about we take a shower together?” He suggested naughtily. Cas bit his lip and nodded with his head.

Dean took Cas’ hand and they wrapped the sheet around them, picked the clothes and went to the bathroom, to take a shower and do some handjobs with a lot of caresses and kisses. They loved doing all of that; they loved touching each other, kissing, fucking, stroking… They felt really alive. They still wondered why it took them so long to do all of that.

 

In the afternoon, Dean was in a room that had some vinyl records and an old record-player. Cas was with him, looking at some records before the 50’s. They were sitting on the carpet with some boxes full of vinyl records. Cas was really curious about all of them; he liked the shape of the records and their covers. Dean looked at him with a lovely smile.

“Do you know any of these?” Dean wondered. Cas shook his head.

“I just know about classic music, like Mozart, Beethoven, Chopin, Hayden, Wagner… And some songs from some of the bands you listen to.” Cas answered casually. Dean smiled.

“Yeah? Tell me the names of the bands I listen to.” He asked with a rouge smile. He wanted to test Cas’ knowledge in rock music.

Cas raised his sight from the record he was holding and looked at Dean. “ _Led Zeppelin, AC/DC, Black Sabbath, Metallica, Nirvana, Iron Maiden_ , and I don’t know anyone else.”

“That was pretty good.” He said impressed, then, he kissed Cas softly. Cas thanked that kiss. He made a tiny smile when Dean pulled away. “Do you like any of those bands?”

Cas shrugged. “I like _Led Zeppelin_ , and maybe some songs of the rest of those bands, but not all of them.” He gave Dean a casual sight. Dean stirred Cas’ hair and kept looking the records.

“I’m glad you like _Led Zeppelin_.” He said proud. Cas chuckled. “I think most of these records could like you.” He made a thoughtful grimace. He was looking at a Glenn Miller’s record. “Something soft and jazzy.” He looked at Cas.

“You don’t like this kind of music?” Cas wondered.

“Yeah, I like it, but it’s not my favorite. I’m into rock, but jazz it’s pretty cool too.” Dean always liked anything that could be considered music, not pop, rap and that kind of crap. He loved rock, but he liked jazz and classic music, although he didn’t listen to them quite much. “Wanna hear it?” He asked. Cas nodded.

Dean stood up and walked towards the record player. He released the vinyl and put it on the player, turning the volume up. When the music started to sound, he looked at Cas, with his brows raised, waiting to see his expression.

“It sounds quite good.” Cas said listening with attention the song. Dean smirked. Cas started to moved his head to the beat of the music; he was really liking that song. Dean bit his lip, trying to avoid a laugh; Cas looked so funny doing that.

Dean never saw Cas dancing before. He knew that Cas would suck at it because he was sure that Cas never danced before. Of course, Dean wasn’t a great dancer; he was just the kind of guy who didn’t like dancing a lot, who only did it when he felt to, most of the times when he was alone in the car hearing a great guitar solo, but in that moment, he wanted to dance with Cas, although he knew that they would make an awful spectacle, but they were alone in that room. He approached Cas, who was still moving his head happily with the music and offered him a hand. Cas looked at him confused, he didn’t know what Dean meant by offering his hand.

“C’mon, Cas.” Dean said. Cas narrowed his eyes.

“Why are you offering me your hand?” Cas asked perplexed. Dean couldn’t help a smile; he loved when Cas was confused with such a normal thing like that.

“Let’s dance.”

Cas opened his eyes wide and blushed; his face showed a bit of fear. “Dean, I don’t think—”

“Don’t worry, I suck at dancing too.” He laughed. Cas doubted and swallowed. Dean sighed. “I don’t think I’m going to ask you dancing again, I don’t like a lot dancing. You should take this chance.” He started to say.

“Then, why do you ask me to dance?”

“Because I want to dance with you.”

“That doesn’t sound very logical.” He tilted his head.

“Cas—” Dean took a deep breath. “I want to dance with you because you are the only one I want to dance with.” He sighed.

Cas blushed a bit more. He sighed. “Fine.” He took Dean’s hand and stood up. “That was a bit cheesy.” He said with an eyebrow raised.

Dean glared him. “Don’t—” Dean started to say with a pissed off voice.

“I know. Don’t tell anyone.” He sighed. “Don’t worry Dean. I keep your few cheesy things to myself.” He said with a pretty smile.

Dean blushed a bit and then he smiled. Now it was being played _In the Mood_ “Ready?”

“No. But you are going to do it anyways.” He said sassy. Dean rolled his eyes.

“Shut up, Cas.”

Dean took Cas’ hand and held it, then, he took Cas’ other hand and put it in his waist, later, he grabbed Cas’ waist with his hand. Cas looked confused at Dean, who dedicated him a sweet smile and then, he started moving. Cas looked at their feet, he didn’t want to step on Dean and tried to move like Dean, who was avoiding a laugh because Cas looked so cute.

“Stop laughing.” Cas said glaring at Dean.

“I’m not laughing.” Dean replied.

“You are doing it on the inside.” He made a grimace. He was uncomfortable with being quite clumsy at dancing. They twirled and Cas held him tighter. Dean looked at him confused, but Cas started laughing shyly. “Do that again, please.” He asked with a shy voice. Dean smirked and twirled around again. Cas laughed louder.

“Try to do it.” Dean said with a huge smile. Cas doubted, but he twirled them; he made a happy and satisfactory face with his achievement. “That was pretty awesome.” He raised his brows. Cas smirked and twirled again. It was a silly thing, but Cas loved it; it was really fun.

“Sorry.” Cas excused when he stepped on Dean’s foot.

“Don’t worry Cas.” Dean gave him a small kiss on his lips. “Let’s try to move a bit faster.” He suggested. Cas bit his lip; he was a bit insecure because he didn’t want to make them fall or something like that. Dean noticed Cas felt tense, so he kissed him again. “Just relax, Cas.”

“Okay.”

Dean brought Cas closer and moved a bit faster. At first Cas found it hard to follow Dean, but after some seconds and stepping a few times Dean’s feet again, he could follow Dean’s rhythm. Dean tightened Cas’ hand with his, making Cas to smile wider. They moved their bodies and their feet with the music, twirling around sometimes. Then Dean released his hand from Cas’ waist, only holding Cas’ hand and while Dean was still, Cas twirled. Cas laughed a lot.

“Let me try it with you.” Cas asked.

Dean twirled around while Cas was holding his hand. Cas looked at him amused. Dean wasn’t a great dancer, but he was doing every single move perfectly. 

“With so many twirls we are going to end up dizzy.” Dean said as he rested his hand in Cas’ waist.

“I like twirling.” Cas admitted as they twirled around.

“Yeah, I’ve noticed it.” He laughed.

 _In the Mood_ finished and the next track was _Moonlight Serenade_ , a slower one. Dean made a grimace; he liked jazz songs that were livelier, not that slow. He didn’t like to dance slow songs.

“This one is too slow.” Dean said a bit annoyed, removing his hands from Cas.

“I like it.” Cas said. Dean arched one of his brows. “We could dance it.” Cas took the flaps from Dean’s shirt, approaching his body to Dean’s, leaving no space in between and stared at Dean’s eyes. Dean couldn’t resist that sight, both knew it. 

Dean rolled his eyes and sighed. “I’m gonna regret this.” 

Cas made a satisfactory smile and he moved away a bit; he was going to hold Dean as they did before but Dean didn’t let him. “I am not supposed to hold you?” He asked confused.

“Slow songs are danced different.” He explained. He took Cas’ waist with his hands and approached him, leaving no space between their bodies. “You can hold me by the neck or by the waist, or somewhere else.”

Cas put his hands in Dean’s neck, embracing it with them. “Like this?” He said in a sweet voice.

“Yes, like that.”

They danced slowly at the rhythm of the song. For Cas, it was being really easy to dance that song; he didn’t have any problem with the speed and it was almost impossible to step on Dean’s feet. He leaned his chin in Dean’s shoulder and took a deep breath. He liked when Dean held him like that; he felt so safe and warm in those arms. He remembered the first time Dean hugged him, it was in purgatory; after a long time without seeing each other, when Dean found him, Dean was smiling and hugged him. Cas didn’t hug him back, but he enjoyed how Dean was holding him. Cas moved his face and pressed a kiss in Dean’s neck, which had some hickeys from last night. He nuzzled Dean’s neck later and his nose was filled with Dean’s smell, a mix of earth, woods, cotton and a bit of leather too.

“Dean.” Cas started to say in a low and sweet voice.

“Yes, Cas?” Dean said.

“I really like this.” He confessed nuzzling Dean’s neck again.

Dean blushed a bit. He kissed Cas’ passionately as they danced slowly. Cas looked at him with love when they pulled away and Dean rested his forehead on Cas’. The song was now finished and they looked at the record player.

“Can you play it again?” Cas asked.

“You want to slow dance again?” Dean wondered curious. Cas nodded. “Okay.”

Dean moved away from Cas to approach the record player. He put the needle where the song Moonlight Serenade started and then, he approached Cas. They danced like they were doing before, with Dean’s hands in Cas’ waist and Cas’ hands in Dean’s neck; also, they had their foreheads leaning on each other’s.

Cas was feeling really good. He knew that it wasn’t Dean’s favorite thing to do, but he wanted to dance slowly again with Dean, and anyways, it was Dean’s idea to dance. Dean gave Cas a sweet kiss. They were just a few inches from each other’s lips, so it was really tempting kissing.

“Sorry for making you dance slowly too much.” Cas apologized.

“Enjoy it. I don’t think this would happen again.” Dean said cockily. Cas made a sweet smile and kissed him. “I love you.” He said when their mouths were no longer together.

“I love you.”

Dean held Cas tighter with his hands and kissed him again. It wasn’t that bad dancing slowly, but that was because he was dancing with Cas and giving him kisses. It wouldn’t be the same if he was dancing with anyone else. He could feel Cas’ warthm in his body, something that he loved. He liked embracing Cas, feeling him. It was really great for Dean.

“I don’t believe this.” Sam said. He was walking through the hall towards the library when he heard music and looked at the room, where Cas and Dean were. “Dean, you are dancing!” He exclaimed with surprise.

“Shut up Sam!” Dean yelled angrily. Cas bit his tongue to avoid a laugh, but Dean noticed it. “Don’t laugh.” He said glaring at Cas.

“I’m going to record this.” He giggled taking out his mobile and recording the couple. Dean pulled away from Cas and moved towards Sam, but Sam ran away and Dean followed him. Cas rolled his eyes and walked to the door, he leaned out the door to look at Dean and Sam playing in the floor like little kids.

“You better delete it!” Dean yelled trying to reach Sam’s phone. “Gimme the freaking phone Sam! If you don’t delete it I’m cutting your hair!”

“I’m deleting it! See?” Sam showed how he deleted the video, then, Dean stood up and helped Sam to stand up. Cas approached them with a funny face. They were grown up adults but they were like kids.

“Don’t look at me like that.” Dean said annoyed looking at Cas, who couldn’t help a tiny smile. “If he didn’t recorder it, we wouldn’t have done that.” He said looking at Sam.

Sam made his sassy face. “Well, I may not have the video, but I’m going to remind you that you were dancing every time I can.”  
Dean was going to throw himself against his brother, but Cas took his shirt, avoiding him to do it. Dean glared at him, and Cas made a soft expression, the one that meant, don’t do it. Sam chuckled and left them in the hall.

“You should have let me—” Dean started to say a bit angry.

“Shut up Dean.” Cas said rolling his eyes. He held Dean’s hand. “You always say and do that kind of things to Sam, it is normal that he wants to do the same with you.” He said in a bossy but soft voice. 

Dean rolled his eyes. “Now you are Bill Crosby?” He said in a sassy way. Cas narrowed his eyes. “It’s just— never mind.” Dean sighed

“Come on in.”

“But no more dancing.” He said in a childish voice.

“Yes, I know, you had enough dancing…” He sighed going back to the room they were. He wanted to dance again with Dean, but he knew that Dean didn’t want to.

Dean pulled his hand away from Cas when they were in the room and he closed the door. Cas looked at him confused. “We didn’t finish dancing the song.” He said getting blushed. He hated dancing, but Cas was enjoying it, and although Dean seemed to hate it, in fact, he really liked it. Cas smiled shyly. “But don’t tell Sam.” He said seriously walking towards the record player.

“I won’t say a single word.” Cas said smiling.

Dean moved the needle to go back to the slow song and then, he grabbed Cas, and they danced just like they were doing before Sam interrupted them. They have to take advantage of it, because Dean wasn’t going to dance again, well, at least not soon, but he couldn’t deny that he really liked dancing with Cas. In that moment he knew that he was a fool in love who was doing things that he usually didn’t like to do, but he liked doing them because he did it with Cas. Dean Winchester was in love with a man and he was dancing with that man he loved more than everything. Who would have said that could be possible? He smiled at that and kissed passionately Cas, who returned the kiss.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hoping that you enjoy this chapter, like always, and as always, I know that you might be a little tired of reading this, but thank you so much for reading it means a lot, and of course, thanks for the kudos, the bookmarks, the subscriptions and the comments. You are really lovely :)

It was a hot night. The hottest one they had had in the bunker. Dean and Cas were sleeping only with their boxers on and they were just covered with a sheet, but only from waist down. They weren’t even embrace; their bodies released too much warmth, and they had enough with their own temperature. Each of them was lying in the bed, sweating and sleeping. But Dean was sleeping better than Cas. He wasn’t used to high temperatures; when he was an angel he didn’t have a problem with that, but now that he was human, it was terrible for him. After rolling on the bed for so long, he could finally fell asleep, but he was having nightmares.

It had been a lot of weeks since he got nightmares, sometimes he had bad dreams, but they weren’t really bad. Nightmares were the ones that really affected him. They looked so real that it hurt, but the worst thing was that all those nightmares were about all his mistakes.

Cas was dreaming that he was in the woods, the night the angels fell. The angels were falling, but they didn’t look like shooting stars, in the dream, they looked like they were roasting and instead of flames, there was blood. It was raining blood with every angel that fell, soaking everything, and it smelled like flesh getting burn, dust and blood. Some blood dropped in Cas’ face and he ran, trying to avoid everything, but there was blood everywhere, the smell was still there and the angels were falling everywhere, covering the whole sky.

He didn’t know how he fell in a hole. It was really dark, but at least, the smell and the blood disappeared and he couldn’t see more angels, however, he was still scared. A green light startled him. He had to close his eyes because it was so intense. When he opened his eyes, he was in an old factory. It was well illuminated. He walked through it, without knowing where to go, hearing only his steps. Suddenly, a hand took him by his shoulder. He turned to see who was and he saw Dean. He was bleeding through his mouth and he had several cuts in his face and neck, his eye had a bruise and in his chest, in the part of the heart, there was a knife.

“Why did you do this to me Cas? Why? I told you that I needed you.” Dean said in a fragile voice. Cas was horrified by the image. He couldn’t do or say anything, he was paralyzed. Then, Dean approached Cas and blood started to run from Dean’s eyes, Cas hold Dean and he died in Cas’ arms.

Cas woke up with a pant. He turned his face to see Dean, who was sleeping soundly. Then, he turned his face to see the ceiling. He was breathing fast, he was covered with cold sweat and his heart was beating in a painful way. He raised himself and he ran a hand along his hair. He shrugged his legs and embraced them with his arms, burying his head between his knees. He was feeling like hell.

“Cas?” Dean asked opening his eyes slowly. He saw Cas was sitting in the bed and panting. “Cas, what’s wrong?” He asked worried and rising. He approached Cas and looked at him. “Oh crap, another nightmare.” Cas nodded without rising his head. Dean embraced Cas with his arms, so Cas raised his head and he rested it on Dean’s chest. Dean gave Cas a kiss in the head. “It’s okay Cas, it was just a nightmare. I’m here Cas, everything’s going to be okay.”

Cas moved himself to embrace Dean, resting his hands in Dean’s blades and burying his face in Dean’s chest. Dean knew that Cas had to dream with something horrible again. Cas was panting and a few tears appeared in his eyes, but he wasn’t sobbing.

Dean sighed in an upset way. He caressed Cas’ hair. “It’s okay Cas, it’s okay.” He hated seeing Cas that broken.

After several minutes, Cas pulled away from Dean’s arms and Dean kissed him softly and sweetly. When Dean stopped, Cas leaned his face on Dean’s, closing his eyes. Dean cupped Cas’ cheeks and with his thumbs he removed the few tears that were on Cas’ face. Cas took a deep breath.

“Thank you, Dean.” Cas said in a low voice.

“Better?” Dean asked looking at him. Cas nodded. Then, he opened his eyes slowly and stared at Dean’s. Cas sighed and lay down. He rubbed his face. Dean lay aside leaving just a few inches between their bodies and reached one of Cas’ hands, and he held it. “You wanna talk about it?” He stroked Cas’ hand.

Cas closed his eyes. He wasn’t sure about talking about it. “I don’t know.” He said with a broken voice.

Dean approached Cas’ hand to his lips and kissed it. “If you don’t want to, don’t do it Cas.”

Cas opened his eyes. He sighed and looked at Dean; he looked really worried about him. Cas had to tell Dean a lot of things that he hadn’t told him yet, but he was scared of doing it, but sooner or later, he would have to do it, and Dean deserved to know everything, no mattered how much it hurt for both of them. 

Cas took a deep breath. “I don’t know where to start.”

“The best way it’s from the beginning.” That made Cas to smile a bit. “Talk to me Cas.”

Cas looked at the ceiling and took a deep breath. “It’s all the mistakes I have done.” He swallowed. “You know, it all started when Crowley and I were working together, I was desperate for fixing heaven, but it wasn’t a great idea to work with Crowley.” Cas tightened Dean’s hand, it was really heartwarming. He really liked holding hands with Dean because he felt quite good and it helped him to feel less nervous. “I wanted to ask you for help, but—” He took a deep breath. “You had done a lot and I couldn’t ask you more.”

“You should have done it Cas, I wouldn’t have mind it.” Dean said in a serious voice. Cas grimaced.

“No, Dean. You were with Lisa, having the normal life you always wanted. I couldn’t ask you to help me. You did a lot of things that year and you had to go through a lot. I couldn’t ask you for more.” He explained looking at Dean’s eyes. He sighed again. “And then, I don’t know, I just went mad and I did awful things, like breaking Sam’s wall, everything for a stupid war that I wanted to win, and then, I was so sure that I was doing the right thing. I was blind and I kept doing awful things because I thought that was the best option, that I could change things to better, but I was wrong.” Cas took another long and deep breath. All those things happened a long time ago, but Cas still regretted everything. “And when all those souls were inside me, I made a slaughter in heaven.” Cas was breathing and starting to speak fast. He needed to let all those words out of him, but every single word that came out was filled with poison and his heart ached with every single one. “If I didn’t open purgatory and swallowed all the souls, leviathans wouldn’t have been released. A lot of pain wouldn’t have been caused.” Cas swallowed again and tightened Dean’s hand. Dean was paying attention to Cas, hearing every word as he held Cas’ hand. “After that, we ended up in purgatory and well, you know what happened there…” He looked at Dean’s eyes with sadness. Dean spent a long time searching for him and Cas decided to stay. “Angels got me out of there and Naomi forced me to do awful things.” He sighed and looked at the ceiling. “Since I started that stupid war in heaven, everything went down.” He closed his eyes remembering everything. “If I didn’t make the deal with Crowley, purgatory wouldn’t have been opened and everything would have been better. But—” Cas’ voice was starting to be breathy. “I wouldn’t have left you all those times, Sam wouldn’t have to been through Lucifer, a lot of angels would be still alive, they wouldn’t have fall, I just—” A tear fell from his eye. Dean approached and kissed Cas’ temple. He didn’t know what to say. Everything that Cas said was true. Cas opened his eyes.

“That’s what your nightmares are about? About all those things that you’ve just said?” Dean asked in a soft voice.

“Only angel’s fall and—” He didn’t know what to say. He was afraid that Dean would hate him for what Naomi made him do. Dean looked at him expecting. It would be better to tell him, he couldn’t hold it inside him anymore. “Do you remember when I killed Samandriel and I disappeared for a long time?” He closed his eyes again.

“Yeah, I do.”

Cas took a deep breath and opened his eyes to look at the ceiling. “Naomi made me kill him and to bring his body to heaven. But that wasn’t the only thing she forced me to do.” He tightened Dean’s hand fiercely. “She wanted me to kill you and she made me kill you thousands of times.” Another tear fell from his eye and he released a small sob. Dean opened his eyes widely. Cas felt an enormous pain when those words came out. “At first I couldn’t kill you, but she tortured me until I couldn’t feel a thing, until I could kill you really easily, without hesitation.” Cas closed his eyes strength; he could still see the image of Dean being killed by him. “And when we were in the crypt, she told me to kill you, and I told her that I wasn’t going to do it, but she controlled me, and I started beating you to death and I thought you were going to die because of me, because she wanted me to choose angels before you and I was there killing you and—” He couldn’t finish the sentence; Dean pressed his finger in his lips to make him shut. Cas opened his eyes, full of tears and looked at Dean’s face, which was really close to his. Dean was lying above him. Dean released the hand that was holding Cas’ hand and stroked Cas’ face.

“But you didn’t kill me after all.” Dean whispered removing with his thumb the tears from Cas’ face. “You chose me before them. That’s what really matters. That after everything you chose me. You get rid of Naomi’s control and you didn’t kill me.” Dean’s voice was soft and comprehensive. He remembered that night at the crypt, he knew that Cas wasn’t acting for himself, and when he thought that Cas was going to kill him, Cas cured him and explained that Naomi was controlling him, although he didn’t know about that awful training Cas went through.

Cas started to cry and hugged Dean. He wondered how Dean could still want to be right there with him after all. “Dean I—” He sobbed.

Dean hugged him. “Just take it easy, Cas.” Cas nailed Dean’s back, feeling frustrated.

“Why don’t you hate me for all of that?” Cas asked sobbing. It was a bit difficult to understand what he said, but Dean understood him after all.

Dean cupped Cas’ face with his hands. “Everyone makes mistakes Cas. I know you have made big ones.” Dean started to explain. “But I have done big ones too. And you get rid of Naomi’s control, something that I don’t think anyone else can say except you, and you made it because you chose me, and I think that’s the most romantic thing someone has ever done to me! And that’s so badass!” Dean made a shy smile and Cas blushed a bit, with a tiny shy and a bit sad smile. “We’ve been through lot together, bad and good things. And I know that sometimes you’ve been fucked up because of my fault.” He sighed and raised his eyebrows. “But we made our decisions and we’ve made it up as we go and we are here, together. That’s what matters, that after everything, we are together, that you chose me after all and I know that you love me.” He caressed Cas’ face.

“That what’s really nice, Dean.” He said weakly.

“I wish I wouldn’t have sounded that cheesy…” Dean said with a grimace, Cas let out a small laugh. That’s how Dean always reacted when they talked about things like that or feelings, he always tried to make people laugh because he felt a bit uncomfortable, but in that moment, despite of feeling a bit uncomfortable, Dean wanted Cas to feel better. “But I really meant it Cas.”

“I love you.” Cas cupped Dean’s face and kissed him. “And sorry for everything I did.”

“Just let it go, Cas.” Dean rolled his eyes.

“I wish it was easy…” He sighed.

Dean arched one of his brows. “I know something that it can help you to forget about it for some time.” He smirked.

Cas wasn’t sure about that, he wasn’t feeling like it. “Dean, I don’t know if—” But Dean made him shut with a kiss, a one with tongue; he knew that Cas always got lost with those kisses. Dean wanted Cas to feel better, after that talk, both needed to get those things away from their minds, especially Cas, who was now enjoying that kiss.

Dean pulled his mouth away and went down Cas’ neck, pressing soft kisses. Cas bit his lip; Dean’s mouth was wet and warm, he liked how Dean’s saliva drenched the skin on his neck. Dean sucked Cas’ neck, leaving bruises and Cas purred. Dean went down to Cas’ collarbone, licking it and kissing it. He really liked Cas’ neck, it was extremely soft and he liked to feel it beneath his tongue and lips. Cas curved his back a little when Dean sucked his neck again and let out a soft moan. Dean was giving him kisses as he was going down; he licked softly Cas’ nipple and Cas made a wonderful sound.

“Dean—” Cas moaned “Just keep doing that, please.” He begged.

The hunter smirked and kept licking Cas’ nipple. Cas started to breath a bit fast. He fisted the sheets while Dean was licking and biting softly his nipple. Then, Dean pinched the other nipple with his hand. Cas shivered and moaned; his cock was now hard, Dean could feel it, but he was going to keep his mouth on Cas’ nipple for a while. Cas had to let out another moan when Dean nibbled his nipple, he loved when Dean did that. His whole body shook with that and when Dean’s tongue licked the nipple, making circles with it. Once Cas’ nipple was hard, Dean moved his mouth from Cas’ nipple to his mouth and gave him a dirty kiss while he moved his hand to Cas’ cock, sliding his hand beneath Cas’ boxers. Cas pulled his mouth away and moaned; he cursed in his mind Dean’s fingers and hand for touching him in that wonderful way, but he loved it. Dean took off Cas’ boxers with one hand and then he took off his, also with one hand and difficulty, but Cas helped him to do it, then, he kissed Cas again and grabbed Cas’ cock with his hand and started moving it along the shaft, first soft and slowly, kissing Cas between his moans, then, he moved his hand faster and made some different angles so Cas would find it more pleasurable. Cas bit his lower lip and moaned with the touch of Dean’s hand.

“Dean—” Cas moaned.

Dean moved himself and released his hand from Cas’ cock and started kissing his bellybutton; Cas giggled a bit, he was ticklish there. Dean’s mouth went downer and then, he took again Cas’ cock and started sucking it.

“Dean, oh—!” Cas moaned louder.

Cas’ spine curved even more. Dean’s mouth in his cock was something really wonderful. Dean moved his mouth from the head to the top of his cock, making it warmer and wetter. His tongue swirled around his cock with every movement and Cas melted down, he closed his eyes and moaned as Dean licked and sucked it. He moved his hand to Dean’s hair and tightened it as Cas’ hips jerked and he spread his legs, so Dean could find easier to suck his cock.

He moved his hands towards Cas’ hipbones and stroked them gentle. All those sensations were too good for Cas; Dean’s mouth and tongue always worked too good, it made Cas to find a lot of pleasure. Dean slipped his hands slowly from Cas’ hipbones to Cas’ thighs; he squeezed them softly in a sweet way and Cas let out a moan with a small giggle. Cas was feeling extremely good. Then, Dean started to swirl his tongue and moved his mouth faster. Dean wanted to taste every single small inch of Cas’ cock, he wanted to know it perfectly with his tongue and his mouth. Cas was too big, and there were parts where Dean’s mouth couldn’t reach easily, but he could with his tongue.

“Dean, keep doing that—” Cas asked breathy.

And Dean did it, he kept swirling his tongue and moving his mouth in that speed. Cas curved his back even more; he couldn’t even open his eyes because the feeling was too intense and pleasurable. He released one of his hands from Dean’s hair and leaned it in the pillow, fisting it as he moaned Dean’s name. Dean loved to hear Cas moaning his name. He kept sucking Cas’ cock, now a bit slower and he pulled away one of the hands that were stroking Cas’ thigh and stroked Cas’ cock as he sucked it. Cas draw a smile on his face and rocked his hips, he couldn’t feel his legs, the sensation of Dean’s tongue and mouth was too rapt. His breathing was chopped and his head was being filled by a sudden white, because Dean was sucking his cock and Cas couldn’t feel better. Then Dean released his mouth, with a sticky sound and worked his hand on Cas’ cock while with the other one, he started to fingerfuck Cas, who made a loud moan when he felt Dean’s fingers inside him. He fisted the pillow harder and he arched his back more. Dean moved his fingers inside Cas, while with his other hand he wanked Cas.

“Dean— Dean— Dean—” Cas moaned.

Dean smiled and pressed his fingers a bit more and Cas shook his whole body, making another loud moan. Dean kept moving his fingers, making different moves so Cas could feel them in different ways, something that Cas was really enjoying. Dean’s fingers were extraordinary. Dean knew where he had to touch to make Cas rock his whole body, how to move them in order to hear Cas made those wonderful sounds and to shake his whole body. Dean liked to touch Cas there; he released the hand that was in Cas’ cock and placed it in Cas’ tight, stroking it as he moved his fingers inside Cas, feeling the warmth.

“Dean—” Cas said breathy as his whole body shook. “Your fingers are extraordinary.”

Dean couldn’t help a proud smile. He saw Cas’ face and how he was fisting the pillow, so he pushed his fingers a little bit more and Cas lost in that. He was feeling too good. Dean was touching inside him and he couldn’t control his own body. The pleasure was too much and he loved it. Nobody ever touched him like that, nobody ever made him feel like that, only Dean. There was fire inside of Cas every time Dean touched him, he was addicted to Dean’s touch and to touch him. He arched his whole body again when Dean’s fingers moved again inside him.

When Dean released his fingers, Cas made a small whine, but he moaned again when Dean’s tongue was in the head of his cock. Suddenly, Cas’ cum filled Dean’s mouth and Cas lost himself with the touch of Dean, who was enjoying the taste of Cas’ cum. It was pure Cas and his tongue loved it; his mouth was soon full with cum and it started to fall towards his chin, but Dean didn’t care, he just kept licking the head of Cas’ cock, looking at Cas who was having a loud orgasm and shaking his hips. Dean made a smirk and kept working with his mouth and tongue on Cas’ cock. 

After tasting the last remaining, Dean laid aside Cas, who was panting and he still had his eyes closed. Dean caressed with his finger Cas’ nipple, making circles. Cas opened his eyes and looked at Dean; he still had jizz in his chin and a bit in his mouth.

“You good?” Dean asked.

“I’m extremely good.” Cas answered. He was still panting. Dean smirked and kissed him. That kiss tasted a bit weird for Cas, Dean’s mouth still tasted like cum, but both of them quite enjoyed it. “I should have more nightmares if they all end up like this.” He joked.

Dean let out a laugh. “You dirty son of bitch.” He kissed again Cas, but now in a sweet way. He cupped Cas’ cheek and looked at those blue eyes that, although it was too dark, he could see them with the poor moonlight of the night that got into the bedroom. “I wanted you to feel better.”

“You always do.” Cas kissed him. Dean raised his eyebrows, surprised for what Cas had said.

“You are so cheesy.”

Cas made a shy smile. He turned over to lay aside and buried his face in Dean’s neck, nuzzling it as Dean picked some tissues to clean himself, then Dean started to stroke Cas’ hair slowly. He hoped that he didn’t have a nightmare again. He embraced Dean and brought himself closer to him and closed his eyes. Dean embraced Cas too and tangled his legs with Cas’. He closed his eyes and fall asleep in just some seconds, and a bit later, Cas feel into the dreams world too, and this time, he didn’t have nightmares. He dreamt with his green-eyed man.


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the chapter! Thanks for the kudos, the subscriptions and the bookmarks, and my biggest thank you to everyone who reads!

“Dean, I said no!” Cas yelled.

“This is not debatable!” Dean yelled louder.

They were with Sam in the room where the table with the world map on it was. Sam was sitting in a chair looking at the couple and Dean and Cas were standing in front of him.

The argument started because, after having lunch, Sam and Cas decided to go outside and run; Cas liked running, he felt really good when he ran, he didn’t want to get rusty, so he ran every time he can, sometimes he ran alone, but most of the time, he ran with Sam, he enjoyed his company. Of course, Dean liked to stay; he wasn’t a big fan of running. So as always, Dean stayed in the bunker while Sam and Cas went together running. 

They always liked to run some miles and a bit far from the bunker, in a forest that wasn’t very close to the bunker. It was like always, but that day, they started to hear some weird noises. At first they didn’t care about it; it could be some birds or a fox, nothing strange at all, one of the things that they liked about running through the woods were the sounds of the nature, but the sounds that day were a bit weird and they started to get closer to them and started to sound heavier. Sam and Cas stopped and looked at each other. Sam picked the demon’s knife, he always picked up when he went running, just in case, and it was a habit. The sounds approached them more and suddenly, something fell over Cas and started hitting him. Sam was going to help Cas, but the demon used his powers and threw the hunter away, hitting him against a tree. The demon took a stone and started hitting Cas in his eyebrow, making a gap in his face, but Cas punched the demon in the face after the first time the demon hit him; he wanted to hit him harder, but he couldn’t; he wasn’t as strong as when he was an angel and that punch made his fist hurt. The demon was angry with that punch, and he decided to leave the body he was in to get in Cas’. Cas felt how the black smoke was getting inside him, but Sam shouted loudly the demon’s exorcism backwards before it was all inside Cas’ body and the black smoke went back to the body he was before. The demon jumped out from Cas and throw himself against Sam, hitting him and making Sam to release the knife. Cas was panting because of the feeling of being almost possessed by a demon, it felt awful, but he saw Sam was fighting with the demon and he got up as fast as he could, running towards the knife. He picked it up and stabbed the demon in the neck, killing him.

Cas helped Sam to get up and they looked at the demon and then at each other. Sam had his nose bleeding and Cas had a gap in his eyebrow and his knuckles had some bruises. Sam called Dean to pick them up and to carry some shovels and fire to dig and burn the demon; they didn’t want anyone to find the body. Dean arrived with everything Sam asked for and Dean gave to his brother and Cas a worried and angry look. When they burnt the body, they went back to the bunker. Dean gave Sam some ices cubes in a plastic bag to lower the inflation on his nose and he sewed Cas’ gap, after that, Cas took a shower because he was covered with sweat; he didn’t like being sweaty after exercise. When he was clean, he went back to room with the world map’s table and Dean started to tell him, in an angry and serious way, that he should have been more careful, of course Cas was a bit pissed off with that, he didn’t like when Dean treated him like a little kid, he could fight, he was the one who killed that demon after all, so he started to argue with him, and Dean then, started to say that Cas needed an anti-possession tattoo, something that Cas didn’t want.

“Dean, I don’t want to get myself tattooed!” Cas yelled. His face was a bit red because of the argument.

“I don’t care if you don’t want to. You are going to!” Dean yelled. He was really angry. Cas blanked his eyes and grimaced. “Don’t do that!”

“I can take care of myself! I don’t need a stupid tattoo!”

“You don’t understand this of what?!” Dean started to move his arms in a dramatic way. Cas glared him. “A demon almost possessed you, Cas! Do you think I’m going to let you walk out there without being protected against demons possessions?!” His voice showed how furious he was. Cas frowned as he glared him. “Holy fuck Cas! If Sam didn’t say the spell backwards you’d be possessed!” Cas took a deep breath and walked away. “Where are you going?!”

“It’s not of your business!” Cas yelled leaving angrily.

Dean let out an angry snort and rubbed his face. “You fucking stubborn.”

“He’s as stubborn as you” Sam said.

Dean turned to face his brother. “No, he’s worst.” He made a grimace. He sighed again and looked at Sam. “I’ll bring you more ice; then I’ll make some stuff, if you need something else, just yell my name.”

 

Cas was in the greenhouse. He was angry. He didn’t want to get tattooed, he didn’t need it. He was an angel… No, he wasn’t an angel anymore, he was human. He sat down in the chair with that thought and rubbed his face. He sometimes forgot that he wasn’t an angel anymore, that he was human. He spent millions of years being an angel that he could forget easily that he was a human. Now, Cas wasn’t as strong as he was, he was still strong, but when he hit or kicked or punched something with all his strengths, it hurt him. He could get killed easily, he could get hurt easily, and he could be possessed easily. Cas sighed and ran his hand though his hair, messing it more. He could still fight, but he wasn’t as hard to kill as when he was an angel. He missed being an angel, he was born being an angel and now that he wasn’t anymore, it was strange and even painful sometimes. He missed zapping to places where humans couldn’t get, curing people with his mojo, having his powers, being almost indestructible… Being human sucked, there were too much pain and tiredness and it was really complicated in some aspects, but there were good things too, like all the things he felt with Dean for example.

The problem wasn’t getting tattooed, the problem was that Cas was human and he didn’t want to recognize it. He was human and he had to deal with it. He didn’t like it a lot, although there were really good things about being human, but some of them were bad; there was that feeling of being useless and frustrated, because he wanted to do a lot of things, he wanted to help as much as he could, change the world to make it a bit better, but now that he was human, he couldn’t do it as easily as when he was an angel, and he hated that, he could still do some things, like fighting, but it wasn’t the same as before. Dean knew he was human, that’s why he was being really protective with him and he knew all the troubles about being human. Cas could fight, but Dean knew that Cas had to get used to fight as a human, that he couldn’t do some things that he did before, when he was an angel. Cas realized that Dean was afraid of losing him, that he didn’t want Cas to die, that was why Dean was really angry and wanted to get Cas tattooed, because he wasn’t going to let Cas die; he knew Cas was human, that he wasn’t almost indestructible now, he was aware about it.

Cas didn’t know if he was going to be an angel again, if he would be a human for the rest of his life. But if he was going to be human, he needed to understand that things wouldn’t be as easy as when he was an angel, that anything could hurt him or kill him, and trying to forget what he was now, wasn’t the solution, he had to remember that he was human, that he wasn’t an angel anymore.

 

Dean was in the library, standing there and leaning his elbows on the table; he was with a book, looking at it carefully, it was a really old book about magic, from the 13th century more or less. Cas was standing behind him, silently, leaning his shoulder on the doorpost, he had a really good sight, Dean’s ass. The hunter didn’t hear him arriving, so he was focused on the book, but when he turned to put it on a shelving, he saw Cas and he shocked.

“Damn it Cas!” Dean shouted angry. “How many times did I tell you not to do that?” Cas rolled his eyes. Dean hated when Cas appeared quietly and stood there until Dean saw him; it was a bit creepy.

“Sorry, I was just staring at your nice bottom.” Cas confessed casually.

“Thank you. But I’m still pissed off with you.” He said piercing. He left the book in the shelving and then, he went to stand in front of the table to face Cas, crossing his arms. Cas approached him, walking with his hands inside his hooded jacket’s pockets until there was just a couple of steps between them.

Cas took a deep breath. “I will get tattooed.”

Dean made surprised and astonished look. “You talking seriously?”

Cas nodded. “Yes, but with one condition.” He looked at Dean’s eyes with strength.

“What?”

“I want also this.” Cas took from his pocket a piece of paper and handed it to Dean. Dean took it and looked at it. There was a drawing of the anti-possession tattoo in the center and in each side of it, there were wings. “If it’s not very expensive, of course.” He added with a grimace.

Dean smiled. “Don’t worry. Those Japanese porn magazine gave us a lot of money.” He smirked. Cas made a half smile. “Why wings?”

“I don’t want to forget that I used to be an angel.” His voice was sad and so was his face. “I’m human and I’m graceless, I'm no angel, but I don’t want to forget what I was before all of that. Being an angel was an important part of my life, and I am not an angel anymore, but I don’t want to forget what I was.” He sighed.

“How do you call a tree without leaves?” Dean asked abruptly.

Cas half-closed his eyes baffled by that sudden question. “What?”

“How do you call a tree without leaves? Answer me with just one word.”

Cas didn’t understand why Dean was asking him that question. “A tree.” Cas answered being unsure about his answer.

“Exactly.” Dean said with a sweet smile. “You may be graceless and human too, but you are still an angel to me. Yeah, you don’t have your mojo, but you’ll always be an angel. My angel.” He added with tenderness. Cas’ face softened and his eyes went glassy. He threw himself against Dean and kissed him passionately, Dean almost fell down on the table. Cas cupped Dean’s face while he kissed him and Dean embraced him, surprised by the sudden kiss. “I didn’t expect that.” He said with a surprise face when they pulled away their mouths. Cas smiled sweetly.

“That was a pretty nice thing Dean. ” He said in a sweet way. "You are geting really cheesy." He giggled.

"Yeah, well, whatever." He rolled his eyes making a weird smile. Then, Dean stroked Cas’ hair “Okay, so tomorrow you’ll get tattooed. Have you thought where do you want the tattoo?”

“In my back. With the wings covering the blades.” He answered nuzzling Dean’s nose.

“That’s a very sexy place.” He said breathy. He imagined Cas with the tattoo and he felt quite turned on. He pressed a small kiss on Cas’ lips. “C’mon, I’ve got to make dinner.”

 

The next morning, Dean, Sam and Cas went to the city to get Cas tattooed. Cas was in the back seat of the Impala, when Sam was in the car, he was always the shotgun and Cas had to sit in the back seat. He was looking through the window, seeing how the landscape moved really fast; he liked seeing how the colors and shapes went blurry when Dean went faster. Going by car wasn’t as fast as zapping, but he could enjoy the landscape and the company of Dean and Sam, and also, he loved how Sam and Dean argued about the music, Sam wanted to hear something different from rock, but Dean always won the argument and played rock songs, leaving Sam with a grimace in his face. Cas really liked the two brothers, they were their family, maybe Cas wasn’t a Winchester, but Sam and Dean always made him feel like part of a family, especially since he got back to the bunker. It wasn’t the most perfect family, but for Cas, they were the best family he ever had. He smiled with that thought and kept looking through the window until they arrived to the tattoo studio.

Once they were there, Dean gave the drawing Cas made to the tattooist, who made a better drawing of it and then, he told Cas to take off his shirt and t-shirt and to sit in the chair. Cas was feeling nervous; he knew it was going to hurt him, but he had to get tattooed, so he did everything the tattooist asked for.

“He looks nervous.” Sam said.

“Yeah. And that tattoo is going to take a long time and pain.” Dean said worried. He saw that the drawing of the template was already in Cas’ skin and the tattooist was putting ink in the tattoo machine. He swallowed, Cas was strong, but where he wanted the tattoo was a painful place, especially because of the bones, when tattoos where in places where there were a lot of muscle fiber, they didn’t hurt too much, but Cas’ tattoo was going to be in part of his spine and in the blades.

“You look even more nervous than him.” His brother said upset.

“What do you expect?” He stared at Sam’s green eyes. “It’s going to hurt him, I know it.” He sighed. “It hurt me a bit when I did mine and it wasn’t in a place with a lot of bones. It’s his first tattoo and he decides to make it in a painful place.” He said with a worried grimace.

The tattooist started to tattoo the anti-possession tattoo. Cas buried his face in the leather chair, making painful faces. It was quite painful; Cas didn’t expect it to be that painful. He didn’t make any sound; he just closed his eyes strongly. Dean’s gusts twisted. He saw that there was a chair next to the tall one that Cas was sitting backwards, so he decided to go and sit there, next to Cas, who didn’t saw him or hear him coming. He took one of Cas’ hands. Cas turned his face and opened his eyes to see Dean, who looked worried at him.

“I don’t understand how you humans can go through this.” Cas said annoyed.

“Humans?” The tattooist asked confused.

“Yeah, he likes to joke about he’s from Vulcano and things like that.” Dean lied in a funny way. He looked at Cas and gave him a look that Cas understood that it was that he shouldn’t say that kind of things when there were other people listening. Cas nodded to show that he understood that gaze. “Just tighten my hand when you feel pain, Cas.” Dean said in a soft voice. Cas tightened his hand strongly that it was really painful for Dean. Sam giggled seeing the faces his brother was making. “But not that strong Cas.” He asked for with grief and opening his eyes widely.

“Sorry, Dean.” Cas apologized, but he was still tightening Dean’s hand robustly.

“I’ll leave you.” Sam started to say, still laughing. “I’m going to buy some food.”

“Okay, see you.” Dean dismissed breathy. Cas was tightening his hand too much that he was sure that when Cas released his hand he wasn’t going to feel it. “Cas, I think you are going to break my hand.”

Cas was still tightening Dean’s hand, but not that hard. “Sorry, Dean.” Cas apologized, he closed his eyes. He felt how the needle was above one of his vertebra. Dean sighed, feeling how the blood pumped in his hand.

“He still has to tattoo you the wings.” He reminded him biting his lower lip.

“I know.” His voice was low. He opened his blue eyes and looked up.

"I'm saying that because he has just started and I think you are going to break every single bone of my hand." He says with a high pitch.

After less than an hour Cas got used to the pain, it still annoyed him, but not as much as the beginning, something relieving for Dean’s hand, thought Cas sometimes tightened it, but the rest of the time, he just tightened it in a normal way, not in a painful one. He looked at Dean, with glassy eyes and his cheeks a bit red. Dean made a half-smile.

“I love you.” Dean said in a really low voice. Neither Cas nor the tattooist did hear him, but Cas knew perfectly what Dean said.

Cas smiled. “I love you.” Cas said in the same low voice as Dean.

Cas closed his eyes again when the inked needle was in one of his blades. The tattooist was finishing one wing; there was only one wing reaming. Cas wanted the tattoo to be over as fast as possible, he was starting to feel a bit bad; the skin on his back was starting to burn and he was feeling tired and sometimes a bit dizzy too, but he tightened Dean’s hand to try to feel a bit better, focusing on Dean’s warmth.

After several minutes, almost an hour, the tattoo was done. Cas got up and saw it on a mirror, he really liked it, although he was seeing that the skin where the tattoo was, was red and inflamed, but still for that, it looked awesome. Even Dean thought it. He really liked the tattoo; Cas looked so badass and sexy with it. Cas put on his clothes and Dean paid, then they left the tattoo studio and went towards a pharmacy to buy a cream that would help to lower the inflamed skin that the tattooist recommended.

“You happy with your tattoo?” Dean asked. He was holding Cas by his waist, Cas was feeling dizzy and a bit weak after the tattoo.

“Yes. Although I wished that it didn’t hurt that much.” Cas answered.

Dean kissed Cas’ temple. “Let’s go home, you need to rest, and Sam is already there in the car.” He said moving his head to make Cas look forward. Cas nodded and tightened himself against Dean, leaning his head on his shoulder. “Don’t worry, I’ll take care of you.” He whispered.

Cas made a smile. “You always do.”


	22. Chapter 22

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I think this is one of my favorite chapters, so I hope that you will enjoy it as much a I did while I wrote it.   
> Once again, thanks for the bookmarks, the subscriptions, the kudos and for spending your time reading. Thank you.

Dean was starting to wake up, but he was still between sleeping and waking up; he was aware that he wasn’t dreaming, but also, he wasn’t awake either. He couldn’t move his body yet; sleep hadn’t abandoned his body yet. Dean shook slowly his face to feel the pillow beneath his skin and snuggled himself with the sheet and the quilt. When he felt how the slumber abandoned his body, he decided to turn over, to feel Cas. He loved lingering in bed with Cas, feeling his warm body, his breathing in his skin and caressing him softly while Cas was still sleeping, until Cas woke up, in a soft grumpy way; he really hated mornings, but his mood always changed when Dean kissed him or caressed him, especially if things went touchier, then Cas was in an extremely good mood.

But that morning Cas wasn’t in the bed. Dean searched with his hand and with his eyes closed for Cas, but the bed was empty. He opened his eyes and saw that Cas’ side was empty. It was really strange, Cas never woke up earlier than Dean, except those times when he sneaked to the bathroom to jerk off before he and Dean started to get, in the words of Cas, intimate, but now, Cas always woke up after Dean or if he woke up earlier, he lingered in bed until Dean was awake. Dean touched the side where Cas slept; it was cold. Cas left the bed a long time ago. Dean’s heart skipped a beat, for a moment he thought that Cas left, but he shook his head hurriedly, Cas wanted to stay there, he told him that, maybe he was in the shower or decided to go for a run. They’ve been together for more than a month and Dean was still a bit afraid of Cas leaving. He turned to lean his back in the mattress and looked at the ceiling, sighing; he didn’t want to think about all that shit again, he had a lot of that for a long time. Cas wasn’t going to leave him, if he wanted to, he would have left before saying that he loved him. He smiled when Cas’ voice sounded in his head, saying those three words. Cas wasn’t going to leave. He knew it. They loved each other and Cas would stay with him.

The door opened and Dean raised, sitting in the bed and leaning his back in the headboard. Cas appeared with a wood tray with legs.

“Good morning Dean.” Cas said as he closed the door with his foot.

“G’moning Cas.” Dean said rubbing his eye. He looked at the tray Cas was carrying; there was breakfast on it. “You made me breakfast?” He asked enthusiastically and surprised.

Cas leaned the tray in the bed, between Dean’s legs and then, he sat down in the bed, next to Dean. “Well, if you can call this breakfast…” He grimaced.

“You didn’t burn the kitchen, right?” Dean asked. He knew how disastrous Cas was in the kitchen; he was great at drawing, at gardening and fighting, but he really sucked at cooking.

“If I burnt it you wouldn’t have breakfast.” He laughed.

Dean looked at the tray; there were some pancakes, with some parts of it burnt, and others seemed to be fine, also, their shapes weren’t circles, they had strange shapes and a few of them were quite thick. There were some toasts, at least Cas knew how to use the toaster, after one morning that Cas burnt his toast, now he knew how to made perfect toast. There was bacon too, some of them burnt, some of them had a strange appearance and a few looked good, and finally, there were two coffees. It wasn’t the perfect breakfast, Dean knew it, but he couldn’t imagine how hard it was for Cas to do all of that. Cas hated cooking and he woke up earlier to make breakfast and bring it to Dean. He looked at Cas, whose t-shirt had some stains of flour and he smiled.

“I don’t think pancakes and bacon are edible.” Cas said doubtful. Dean looked at him and smiled. “I had some trouble with bacon.” He said taking his mug with coffee and sipping it. Dean picked up a piece of bacon, one of the ones that looked a bit weird. To his surprise, the bacon was quite good.

“It’s good, Cas.” Dean said chewing with a pleasant face.

“That is because it is bacon; it’s always good.”

Dean laughed. “Yeah, it may be that.” He bit his lip. “What was your problem with bacon?” He wondered curious. He chewed another piece of bacon.

“I tried to cook it in the microwave.” Cas answered with a guilty grin. Dean opened his eyes widely, unbelieving it. “I put a piece of bacon on it to see how the result was going to be and it melted down.”

Dean let out a loud laugh, he almost choked. “Please, tell me that you are kidding me.”

Cas shook his head and blushed. Dean laughed louder. “And it tasted quite bad.” He made a disgusted face. Dean’s face was red because of his loud laughs.

“I wish I could have seen that.” He said between laughs. Cas picked one of the most burnt pieces of bacon.

“The burnt ones taste even better than the microwaved one.”

Dean laughed again. “Cas, please stop, my stomach hurts with all this laughter.” Cas made a funny face when he saw Dean’s red face, it was so red that he couldn’t see his freckles unless he approached a lot. Dean took a deep breath; he didn’t remember when the last time he laughed that much was. He decided to taste the pancakes. They weren’t as good as his, but at least they were edible, a great achievement for Cas. “Pancakes are edible at least.”

“It’s so easy to make the dough, but cooking them…” He sighed and tasted a piece of the one Dean was eating. “I shouldn’t have cooked them for so long.”

“It would be worst if they were raw.” He said with a serious voice. Cas made a grimace to show that he agreed with Dean.

They kept having breakfast together; they left the bacon and toasts for the end, because they wanted to eat first the pancakes and enjoy the things that tasted pretty good to the end.

“Sorry it was a disaster.” Cas said a bit sad. Dean cupped Cas’ chin and kissed him.

“It was perfect.” Dean said in a sweet voice. Cas bit his lower lip and blushed. He picked the tray and stood up from the bed. “Where are you going?” He asked half-closing his eyes.

“I’m going to wash this.” He answered casually.

“Leave it there.” He pointed at the table where the typewriter was. Cas made his confused face. “Breakfast has just started.” He arched a brow. Cas opened his mouth because he didn’t understand what Dean was saying. Dean rolled his eyes and sighed. “Leave it there and come back to bed so we can make out or have sex.” He explained with a tired face.

“Oh, sorry Dean, I didn’t understand that reference.” He said feeling awkward. He left the tray and ran towards the bed, laying on it in really fast. 

Dean laughed and pulled away the sheets and the quilt and started kissing Cas, running his fingers along his messy hair. “You’ve been in the human world for too long, you should understand the hints.” He said when he pulled away his lips.

Cas rolled his eyes. Then, he rolled Dean and he so Cas could be above Dean, staring at him with decision. “I thought you said you liked when I was confused by all those things.” His voice showed cockiness. Dean liked when Cas used that voice; he smiled in a rogue way while Cas nuzzled his nose.

“Yeah, but I’d like that you understood that kind of hints.” His eyebrow arched.

Dean slipped his hands around Cas’ back, sneaking them under Cas’ t-shirt while they kissed in a sweet way. Cas cupped Dean’s neck and started to move his body, rubbing his cock against Dean, something that the hunter really enjoyed. Cas opened his mouth wider, so he could get his tongue inside Dean’s mouth. Dean’s tongue swirled with his and they kept kissing in that dirty way for several moments, until Dean decided to took off Cas’ t-shirt. Cas slipped his hands from Dean’s neck to the bottom of his t-shirt to take it off. They kept kissing and Dean shook his waist to rub Cas’ junk with his. Cas pulled away his mouth to take a breath and looked at Dean with desire, Dean smirked and approached with his hand Cas’ mouth to his to kiss him. Their cocks were already hard, so Dean took off Cas’ boxers and then, he tugged Cas’ cock and tightened softly the head of it, making Cas to pull away from the kiss to moan. Dean moved down his hand along Cas’ cock and Cas shook his body.

“Dean—” Cas moaned before biting his lip.

Cas was staring at Dean’s eyes and he brought himself closer to Dean, so he could push his tongue towards Dean’s mouth for a bit, until he had to moan. Dean’s hand was moving faster and he liked to twist his wrist while he moved it, so Cas could feel more pleasure. Cas was leaning his hands in Dean’s shoulders while he shook his hips; Dean had his other hand squeezing Cas’ butt and meanwhile, he was looking at the faces Cas made, biting his lower lip. He pressed the head of Cas’ cock, making Cas to shiver; he moved his thumb, circling the head of it while the rest of his fingers squeezed softly. Later, Dean kept on moving up and down his hand along Cas’ cock.

“Dean, please, let me touch you now.” Cas said breathy and needy.

The hunter removed his hand from Cas’ cock and moved his hand from Cas’ butt to the end of his spine. Cas kissed him passionately and his hand went down from Dean’s shoulder to grab Dean’s cock and started to shake his hand along it quite fast. Dean let out a moan. He shook his hips as Cas wanked him. Cas squeezed a bit the head of Dean’s cock. He kept working on Dean’s shaft and giving him short dirty kisses. Cas pulled a bit hard and Dean nailed Cas’ back and he arched his back; he liked when Cas sometimes did that kind of things in a hard way. Cas’ hand kept moving and Dean moaned and smirked, while Cas looked at Dean, loving every single expression on his face.

Then, Cas’ hand released Dean’s cock, but he kept stroking it with his palm, slowly and softly, Dean looked at him intrigued. Cas’ hand was now near Dean’s balls and he touched them, and Dean let out a soft giggle. Cas made a funny smile. He caressed Dean’s balls again and Dean bit his lower lip. Cas kept moving his hand to place it in the skin that was behind Dean’s balls and Dean let out a moan.

“Touch me there a little bit more, Cas.” Dean asked in a moan.

Cas complied. He pressed his fingers in that part of the skin and Dean spread his legs. It felt too good to be touched there in such a gentle way. Cas stroked him again, as he kissed Dean’s neck sweetly; he didn’t stop stroking Dean’s skin with his fingers, loving Dean’s moans. Then, Dean’s hand went to touch Cas in the same place that the graceless angel was touching him, so Cas pulled away to let out a moan.

“Dean.” Cas said with a hussy smile.

Dean kissed him in the mouth as he stroked Cas’ skin. “Let’s work on our cocks together.” Dean said in a whisper.

Cas nodded. Dean’s hand looked for Cas’ cock and he took Cas’ and his with his hand; Cas’ hand joined too, their cocks were touching and both of them were holding them with their hands. They started to shake their hands quite fast and looked at each other. Cas bit his lower lip while Dean smirked. When they did it harder, they moaned and they jerked their hips. His hands were getting hotter and their skin was covered with thin warm sweat. They really loved touching each other, to feel their skin getting sticky and the warmth that they emanated and how their breaths were turning slowly into pants. Dean moved his hand harder and Cas moaned quite loud and followed his speed after moaning.

“Cas—” Dean said breathy and touching with his lips Cas’. Cas looked at Dean. “I have to—”

“I know.” Cas said with a sexy voice. Dean loved when Cas’ had that voice. “Come for me Dean, I want to come too. I want to come with you.”

“Your dirty talking has improved.” He said with a smirk. Cas couldn’t help a smile with that compliment.

They kept shaking their hands along their cocks together, pressing sometimes the head of them a bit until both of them lost themselves, releasing the come, letting out a low orgasm. Despite of that, they kept moving their hands for a little bit more, to keep enjoying the ecstasy of the moment, feeling each other in that great moment. 

When they couldn’t move their hands harder, they released them from their cocks, all soaked with cum. Dean approached Cas’ lips and kissed him until he needed to take a breath. Cas put his hand covered with cum in Dean’s lips, caressing with his fingers Dean’s lower lip and he got his index finger inside Dean’s mouth, so Dean started to suck it, tasting the mix of their cums, tickling Cas with the touch of his restless tongue. Dean released the clean finger with a sound and then, he wanted to do the same for Cas, so he approached his index finger to Cas’ mouth and Cas licked it enthusiastically. Cas liked that taste, it was very different from all the things he had tasted and the texture too, he really liked it. When he was done with that finger, he licked another one, and Dean laughed.

“Wow, you really like that.” Dean laughed. Cas nodded without stopping licking. He was going to lick another one, but Dean pulled his hand away. “Not until I lick you another.” He said cockily and arching one of his brows.

Cas smirked. “You can lick them all.” Cas said approaching his fingers to Dean’s mouth.

Dean licked all the fingers, enjoying how it tasted, leaving no remaining at all; Cas did the same when Dean placed his fingers inside his mouth, leaving just a bit of saliva on Dean’s fingers. When they finished, they kissed and Cas laid prone next to Dean, with his hands under the pillow and with his face looking at Dean, who was licking his lips.

“It’s been a great breakfast.” Dean said happily. Cas smiled and made a funny sound.

“I really enjoyed this kind of breakfast.” Cas said sweetly.

Dean turned over to face him and kissed him, when their mouths parted he started to stroke Cas’ back and looked at his tattoo. “It makes you look really sexy.” He bit his lip. He loved that Cas decided to place that tattoo in his back, but what it really made the tattoo look sexier were the wings. It was quite painful for Cas; when they got home he wanted to take a rest and he had a bad night because he couldn’t lean his back on the mattress, it hurt him, but after a couple of days, he was as well as always and now, the tattoo looked extremely good on Cas’ back. “It’s awesome.” Dean drew the shape of the tattoo with his finger and Cas got blushed.

“I’m glad you like it.”

Dean smirked. “I love it.” He pressed a kiss in the anti-possession tattoo. Cas closed his eyes when he felt Dean’s lips on his skin and smiled. Dean kept kissing him softly, being gentle, going down Cas’ spine, pressing kisses along it, moving his mouth slowly. Cas seemed to purr and he nibbled his lower lip. Dean’s mouth could be fiercely and sweet, but he always loved when Dean kissed him, he loved the touch of his lips. Cas rocked his hips slowly when Dean was in the end of his spine. Dean always loved Cas’ back, he loved the soft curve of it and how soft it was. When his lips were in the back of the spine, he moved towards the buttock, so Cas giggled a bit. Dean then, bit softly Cas’ buttock.

“Dean!” Cas exclaimed looking at Dean, who was smirking.

“Don’t tell me you don’t like it.” He said cockily. Cas blushed and squeezed his nose. Dean laughed and kissed the place of the buttock where he bit it, after that, he lay aside. “If you didn’t look so hot…”

Cas made a grateful smile, he turned over and kissed him, moving his hands to squeeze Dean’s butt, making Dean to pull away his mouth to let a surprised moan. “Same goes for you.” He smirked. Dean kissed him fiercely and Cas placed his hand in Dean’s hair, running his fingers along it. When they parted, Cas stared at Dean’s freckles, the ones that were in his face and nuzzled them. “I want to count your freckles.” He said. Dean let out a laugh. “What’s so funny?”

“I’ve got a lot of them, Cas, it will take you a long time.” He explained laughing.

“I know. You’ve got freckles in your cheeks.” Cas slipped his hand from Dean’s hair to the cheek and stroked it, then he pressed a soft kiss. “In your shoulders.” He now slipped his hand to the shoulder, caressing it and then, pressing a soft kiss. Dean smiled and enjoyed the touch of Cas’ lips and hand. “In your hands.” Cas took his hand and kissed it. Then, he stood up to look better at Dean’s body. “Your back.” He pressed a wet kiss. “And your butt too.” He smiled before kissing it. Dean smiled wider. Cas lay aside and looked at Dean, leaving his face really close to Dean’s, they lips were touching, but they weren’t kissing. “I love your freckles. I want to know and memorize every single one of them.” He said with a happy smile. Dean gave him a short kiss, when they pulled away, but not so far, just leaving a few inches between their lips, a tuft of hair appeared on Cas’ forehead.

“Your hair has grown a lot.” Dean observed running his fingers through the messy black hair. “I can cut it off for you if you want to.”

“Yes, I don’t want my hair to grow more.” He said casually. Cas didn’t want to had long hair, he liked it just how he always had it when he was still an angel, no longer or shorter. “I don’t want to have my hair like Sam’s.” Dean let out a loud laugh and Cas made a pretty smile. Then, Dean kissed him with passion. “I love when you laugh like that.”

“You do?” His smile was beautiful.

“I do.” He gave Dean a short kiss.

There was a short silence after the kiss. “Okay, so I’ll cut your hair” He said casually. “I think I should have mine cut too…” Dean started to say.

“No!” Cas exclaimed hurriedly. Dean shocked a bit; he wasn’t expecting that answer. Cas bit his lower lip shyly. “I mean, it’s your hair, you can do whatever you want to, but—” He put his hand in Dean’s hair; it was longer than usually, it almost covered his fingers. “I think you look really gorgeous with this length.” He confessed timidly.

Dean stared at him surprised. “Really?”

“Really.”

Dean made a half smile. “Okay, I’ll leave it like this until it grows a bit more.” He said sweetly. “But not much, I don’t want to end up with Sam’s hair either.” Cas laughed loudly. Oh crap, Dean loved that laugh too much, it was so happily. He kissed him when he stopped laughing.

“Dean.”

“Yes Cas?”

Cas bit his nether lip and blushed a bit. “Can we do it again? You know, what we have done before, touching our penises and other parts.” He looked down to see Dean’s cock and then he looked at Dean’s eyes, biting his lower lip. 

Dean made a rogue face. “Of course we can Cas, we’ve got the whole morning.” Cas smiled and started to kiss him, while Dean placed himself above Cas. “We can do it as many times as you want.”


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wantes to update sooner, but I have to study this week and it's been impossible, anyway, sorry for the waiting.  
> Thanks for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments, the subscription and for reading!

The sun was filling the greenhouse, painting some parts of the floor with the colors of the glass windows. Dean liked to see those colors in the floor; Cas too, but he was there all the days and he was used to it, but when he saw Dean walking in a funny way to step in the places where the same color was, he couldn’t help a smile. He loved that childish part of Dean; Dean was never a kid, in the psychological sense of the word, he had to grow up fast and take care of Sam and even take care of his father too, so he never had the chance to be a kid and that’s why he acted like a little kid sometimes.

Cas was with a small cutting tool, some problematic branches appeared in the medicinal and spell plants, so he had to fix them a bit. He was wearing the gloves Dean bought because Dean forced him to, although Cas said it wasn’t necessary, but Dean didn’t want Cas to get cut and Cas had to wear them.

Dean was following the red colors on the floor that leaded him to Cas, giggling while he jumped from one red light to another. Cas watched Dean and smiled; Dean looked so cute.

“Having fun?” Cas asked.

“Yeah.” Dean laughed. He jumped to another red light on the floor and then, he jumped to stand next to Cas. He kissed his neck and embraced him by the waist. “But now more.” He pressed gentle kisses in Cas’ neck, until he ended up in the skin behind Cas’ lobe. Cas shivered, blushed and bit his lip. After that, Dean leaned his chin in Cas’ shoulder. “Is it normal that the plants we planted take so long to grow up?” He asked curious.

“Dean, we only planted them two months ago. The vegetables ones will take their time, meanwhile, the flowers are almost blooming.” He said rolling his eyes.

“You like to rejoice when I don’t know about something, don’t you?” His voice sounded sassy.

“Of course, you always do it with me with things like movies and TV series I have never watched or listened of.” He turned his face to see Dean’s green eyes. Dean smirked and kissed him.

“I love when you get that sassy.” Dean said squeezing his nose. Cas made a proud smile.

“You love me in any possible way.”

“Yeah, I love you too much.” He kissed Cas again.

“I love you too.” Cas kissed Dean. Then, he went back on cutting the branches while Dean was embracing him.

Sam arrived at the greenhouse, but before approaching them, he knocked the open door, to let them know he was there, because Sam knew that Cas and Dean liked to get too touchy sometimes, Sam didn’t mind they got touchy, but he didn’t like it when he was in front of them. “Hello guys.” Sam said.

“Hello Sam.” Dean and Cas said unison. They looked at each other in a funny way; they didn’t use to say things at the same time.  
Sam approached them. Dean was still embracing Cas by his waist. “When all those plants grow up this is going to look great. You’ve made a great work Cas” He said enthusiastically.

Cas smiled and looked at Sam. “Thank you Sam.” Cas said a bit blushed.

“What’s up Sammy?” Dean asked curious.

“I need your help with some shelves and a wardrobe.” Sam answered. His tune was serious. Too serious, but Dean didn’t give it any importance at all.

“Okay.” He released his hands from Cas’ waist and stroked Cas’ back before moving towards Sam.

“Dean.” Cas said approaching Dean, who turned over to face Cas. Cas cupped his jaw and kissed him fiercely, making Dean to get lost, Cas was kissing him like he was his oxygen. Cas pulled away his mouth and moved away, back to the plant he was cutting while Dean was standing there, still tasting the kiss, like he was floating on a cloud.

“Dean.” Sam said chuckling.

Dean woke up from the kiss. “Oh, yeah, right, uhm, let’s go.” Dean said blushed and moving towards the door. Cas was smirking.

Sam and Dean went to the library, where Kevin was too. He had his hands leaning on the table, where the angel tablet was, being looked by Kevin. Dean half-closed his eyes confused and looked at Sam, whose face showed that he was upset, and then, Dean looked again at Kevin, who was concentrated on the tablet.

“Sorry Dean, there are no shelves or wardrobes to be fixed.” Sam said worried.

“Then, why do you want me for?” Dean asked a bit annoyed, but mostly confused.

Sam swallowed. “We need to talk about the angel’s fall.” He made a pause and approached the table, where Kevin was. Dean followed him, perplexed about everything. “He’s found something and—” He couldn’t finish the sentence; he didn’t know how to say what he had to say to Dean because that would hurt him.

“And?” Dean said intrigued looking at his brother’s face, there was sadness in it.

“And you aren’t going to like it.” Kevin said sad.

Dean’s guts twisted. He knew what they meant with you aren’t going to like it. What Kevin found involved Cas. For some seconds his heart stopped and felt an awful tingle in his whole body. “What is it?” He asked. He was afraid of the answer.

Sam looked down and swallowed. “There’s a way to bring all the angels back to heaven, the ones that fell and the ones who are graceless.” He started to say. He looked at Dean’s eyes and saw that they were filled with fear. Sam sighed. He couldn’t tell that to Dean, it was heartbreaking. Sam took a deep breath and looked at his brother, who was expecting him to go on. “But if we do it, they won’t be able to get out from heaven in thousands of years.” He continued trying to be calm, although he found it hard to say all of that. Every single word hurt as it came out of his mouth.

Dean opened his mouth. “Thousands of years?”

“Yes.”

Pain ran along Dean’s body. No, he refused to accept all of that, that couldn’t be happening. He wasn’t going to do that, he wasn’t going to let Cas go, not now, when everything was better than ever. He couldn’t do it. “We are not going to that.” Dean said with a fiercely, powerful and strong voice.

“Dean, we have no choice—”

“There’s always choice!” Dean felt how the blood in his veins ran faster and was starting to get hotter. He was burning. His face was red of rage.

Sam sighed. He knew what Dean was going through. “Dean, I know you don’t want Cas to go, but we have to do the right—”

“Don’t you dare to say me it’s the right thing Sam! We always do the fucking right thing!” Dean yelled more than in his whole life. He was furious. “For the first time in our lives, let’s fuck everything! I don’t care if those stupid angels rot here! I don’t care! But I am not going to let anyone lock in heaven the person I most love!” Dean’s and Sam’s eyes were glassy. Dean was breathing fast and he felt how his heart wanted to get out from his chest, feeling how it broke a bit more with every beat. Pain was starting to be insupportable. That couldn’t be happening; it had to be a joke a nightmare or whatever. He didn’t want it to be real.

“If you don’t do it, angels will become the knights of Lucifer.” Kevin said seriously, but with a sad voice. Dean turned his face to see him. “And hell will be on Earth.”

Dean closed his eyes and rubbed his face. That wasn’t happening, it couldn’t be happening, after everything that happened between Cas and he, after ending up together after all that crap that they found in their paths and thinking that everything would be all right, now he had to give up on him because of the world. He started to feel dizzy. His Cas, his Castiel, no, they couldn’t snatch him away, they couldn’t. Why he always had to loose what he loved? His mother, his father, Sam, Bobby, and now Cas too. No, he refused to do that. He’d burn the whole word and watch it end if that meant that Cas would stay with him.

“Dean.” Sam started to say. “If we don’t do it, the world would end.”

“Let it end then!” Dean shouted furiously.

“Dean, you can’t just say that! Are you going to sit down and watch how everything ends?” He understood what his brother was feeling; Cas was the love of his life, he knew it, even before they were dating, Dean always looked Cas in a way Sam never saw before, and now, Dean had to let Cas go back to heaven and he would never see him again.

“Do you have any idea of what you are asking me to do?” His voice was broken. Sam’s heart broke when he heard that voice.

“I know it Dean. I know it well.” Sam sighed and made a sadder face. He wanted to cry. He didn’t want any of that; he just wanted that everything could be fine, that Dean could have Cas, that the three of them could live together in the bunker, being a family. “But we have to do it. I don’t want Cas to go either, but—” He took a deep breath as Dean stared at his green eyes with sadness and rage. “We can’t just sit down and watch how the world ends. You know we won’t be able to live with that.”

His brother was right with that; they couldn’t live knowing that they could have saved all the people because they decided to let the world end. Dean took a deep breath. He didn’t mind saving the world and making some sacrifices, but that time, the price was too high for him. He stopped his brother from locking all the demons down in hell because Sam would die, why he couldn’t do that again with Cas?

“There’s no chance of letting Cas here?” Dean asked looking at Kevin.

“I’m sorry Dean, but no.” Kevin said sadly.

Dean looked up and shut his eyes for a bit. Pain was too big in every part of him. He didn’t know what he wanted to do, well he knew it, he wanted to go back to the greenhouse and kiss Cas, stay with him until they died, having a long life, as if that conversation with Sam and Kevin never existed. But that wasn’t possible. “I don’t want to do it.”

“I know.” Sam said sadly.

“But we’ve got to.” Dean sighed. His heart broke in that moment. He was going to give up Cas just for the stupid world. He hated it. He looked at Kevin. “How do we do it?” He felt like he was dying. Why he was always the one who had to give everything to save everyone? Why he couldn’t have what he wanted? How could he be saying that he had to do that, to leave Cas because some stupid tablet said that? He didn’t need a lot, just the bunker, the Impala, his brother and Cas. Was that too much to ask?

“Just a few ingredients and Cas’ blood, because you need the blood of the angel whose grace was taken for the spell.” Kevin answered. Dean nodded. He felt like thousands of guns shot him. Like if his heart and soul were ripped thousands of times in the most painful way. “And it has to be done with the next full moon, because if you wait until autumn starts, it will be too late.”

“When it’s the next full moon?”

“In three weeks.” Sam answered. 

Dean took a deep breath and rubbed his face. “I have only three weeks with Cas.” He felt like somebody punched his heart. “How am I going to tell him that?”

“We can tell him.” Sam offered in a sweet but sad voice.

Dean shook his face. “You just get the fucking ingredients; I’ll take care of the rest.” He turned over to leave the library.

“Where are you going?” He asked worried.

“I’m going to walk. I’m not able to tell him yet or to stay here right now.”

Dean ran towards the main door, angrily; he was furious, frustrated, hurt and sad. He ran through the woods as fast as he could, as he could run away from the last conversation, as if it never existed. He ran until he started to pant, then he kneeled and hit the floor, fisting it several times, his knuckles started to bleed, and then, tears started to fall from his eyes. He gave more than anyone in that fucking world and now he had to give more. Dean felt like hell in that moment, he just wished that everything was part of a nightmare where he could woke up and then Cas would calm him down, he would kiss him, he would run his fingers through his hair, telling him that everything is okay, and then maybe, something else, those things that Cas always did to make him feel better, but no, it was reality, the fucking and shitty reality, and he was really fucked up, he couldn’t do anything to keep Cas next to him. Dean lay down on the grass and looked at the sky, covered by the green leaves of the trees, letting the sunlight to leak in the spaces left between the leaves. He let the tears ran along his face, it was better to cry there than in front of Kevin, Sam or Cas. He would stay there for a while, until all the tears inside him disappeared. Until his heart didn’t hurt that much, although he knew that the pain in his heart wouldn’t be gone ever.

Before it started to get dark, Dean ran to the bunker, still feeling like hell, but at least, he couldn’t cry that day anymore; he was sure that there weren’t more tears in his eyes, he let them all out. When he arrived, he didn’t say a word, and Sam didn’t ask, he knew his brother didn’t like talking and he knew that Dean was feeling really bad. Dean just went to the bathroom to bind up his bleeding knuckle and then, he started to make dinner. He was peeling some potatoes when Cas arrived.

Cas embraced his waist and kissed his neck. “Hello Dean.” Cas said.

Dean tried to look normal, although it was really hard. How could he act as if everything was okay while it wasn't? “Hi Cas.” Dean greeted.

Cas leaned his chin in his shoulder. “What’s for dinner?”

“French fries and fried eggs.”

“Sounds delicious.” He pressed another kiss in Dean’s neck.

Dean closed his eyes with that touch. A prick pierced his heart. He had to tell Cas about making all the angels go back to heaven, but he couldn’t, not in that moment, not that day. He wasn’t sure if he was going to be able to tell him. He felt really bad; knowing that Cas would disappear from his life forever in three weeks was killing him, he couldn’t stop thinking about it.  
Cas was starting to feel Dean weird. He knew something happened to Dean, but he knew that Dean wasn’t going to talk about it. The best thing was to wait until tomorrow; if Dean was still that weird, Cas would ask him what was going through his mind. He learnt that since he was with Dean; he didn’t like to talk about his feelings, and sometimes Dean stayed a bit bad for a day, but the next day, he was as good as always, but if he wasn’t, it was Cas’ time to ask him for what the hell was going on and to listen Dean.

“What happened to your hand?” Cas asked worried taking Dean’s bandaged hand.

“Just an accident with the shelves.” Dean lied. “It’s nothing.”

Cas kissed his hand. “I’m going to force you to wear my gardening gloves.” He said worried.

Dean smiled and kissed him. He loved too much Cas and he was going to let him go. If it was hurting him now, he didn’t want to imagine how much it would hurt when the moment of Cas leaving arrived.

They had dinner. Sam tried to look normal, Dean told him that he didn’t want Cas to know about the angel’s return to heaven yet, so Sam acted as nothing of that had happened, but Dean was sad, everyone felt it and his eyes showed it too. Cas was worried about him. He would ask him tomorrow, maybe Dean just needed a bit of time to feel better, but Dean wasn’t going to feel better ever, the love of his life would go because he had to save the world.

When they went to bed, Cas buried himself in Dean’s chest and Dean embraced him tightly and kissed his head. Dean didn’t say a word, except for wishing Cas goodnight, but he didn’t say anything else. Cas fall asleep as easily as when he slept with Dean, but Dean couldn’t do it until it passed several hours, he just embraced Cas, tightening him even more, as if with that, nothing or nobody could take him away from him, he wished it could be that easy.


	24. Chapter 24

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Once again, thank you for the comments, the subscriptions, the bookmarks, the kudos and my biggest thank you for everyone who reads :)

The next day, Dean kept being in the same mood as he was at dinner's time and Cas was really worried about him, he wanted to ask him what was wrong, but Dean was trying to avoid him, something that Cas really hated. When Cas was about to ask Dean, he just disappeared from his sight, making Cas to feel a bit angry, so he decided to go to the greenhouse and check out the plants until it was lunch time, hoping he would see Dean and he could ask him what was wrong. But he didn’t saw Dean, he didn’t even know where he was, he asked Sam, but he didn’t know where Dean was either. Cas knew that Dean had to be feeling really bad about something, and he wanted to listen to him and help him in order to make him feel better.

Dean was in the bathroom, about to take a hot bath; he really liked to take baths with really high temperatures. The water steam was ascending and it filled the bathroom with it. Dean started to get undress and then, he got into the bath. The water was extremely hot and he enjoyed that. It covered him from the begging of his pectoral down. He needed to take a bath and try to relax from all that pain related with getting the angels back to heaven. He handed a bottle of whiskey that he brought and sipped, even alcohol didn’t help him to feel better. He made an annoyed grimace and left the bottle on the floor, behind the part where his back was leaning. Dean closed his eyes and immersed himself in the water, after some seconds he emerged and rubbed his eyes, and then he opened them. He moved one of his hands along his hair, making it to be spiky. Dean sighed and looked at the water. He couldn’t get out from his head anything, no mattered how hard he tried, he was destroyed, frustrated, angry and broken, he felt like some darkness got inside him and it started to ate him, feeling more and more painful every second that passed.

Someone knocked the door. “Dean?” Cas asked.

“Come in.” Dean said. He knew he couldn’t avoid Cas all day, sooner or later they would have to see each other.

Cas opened the door and looked at Dean; he loved when Dean had wet hair. He closed the door and walked some steps. “Can I take a bath with you?” He asked with a shy voice.

Dean smiled softly and shrugged his legs, so Cas could get in the bath. “Sure.”

Cas started to get undress. Dean loved seeing how Cas took off his clothes and of course, he loved seeing Cas being naked. Cas left the clothes in the sink and Dean stared at his tattoo and thought how fucking gorgeous Cas looked with it. Cas approached the bath and got inside. “Wow, it’s really hot.” He groaned.

“I like hot baths.”

Cas sat in the bath and rested his back in one of the walls of it and looked at Dean. “It’s quite relaxing.” He admitted. Dean looked down with a tiny smile drew on his lips. Then, an idea came to his head and looked at Cas again; he smirked and splashed Cas, soaking his hair and face. “Dean!” Cas protested with a grimace. Dean was smirking widely. Cas splashed him with both of his hands.

“Hey!” Dean said with an annoyed and surprised face. He splashed Cas again and Cas did the same. They started to splash at each other at the same time, dropping a lot of water out of the bath, but they didn’t care, they were focused on splashing the other one as they made funny faces. “Okay, I think it’s enough!” Dean said, but Cas splashed him again and Dean glared him.

“It was the last one.” He smiled naughtily.

The water descended a bit, now it covered them from the beginning of their abdomens down, but that was enough. Water was dropping from Cas’ hair and Dean though he really looked so cute, then he remembered what he was thinking before and he got sad and Cas noticed it. Cas kneeled and embraced Dean’s legs and leaned his chin in Dean’s knees, with a worried face.

“Dean.” Cas started to say upset. Dean looked at Cas’ blue eyes. “What’s wrong?”

Dean sighed. “Nothing’s wrong Cas.” Dean lied.

Cas rolled his eyes and made an angry grimace. “Of course, that’s why you are being so weird since last night, you were avoiding me today and you are drinking whiskey.” He said sassily.

Dean raised his eyebrows amused. “You didn’t miss a single detail.”

Cas sighed and kissed Dean’s knee. “Dean, I know something bad is going through your head. What is it?” He asked really worried. Dean sighed; he wasn’t ready to talk about it.

“It’s nothing Cas.” He said in a broken voice.

“You don’t even believe that.” Cas said angrily rising his head. “Talk to me.”

Dean swallowed. “Cas, no I—” He couldn’t finish the sentence. He looked down and took a deep breath. He wasn’t ready to talk about it.

Cas stood up, making Dean to look at him; he was naked and wet, and Dean really liked that. Cas pushed Dean’s legs down, so they could be stretched and then, he kneeled, sitting in Dean’s lap, with Dean’s legs between his, feeling Dean’s cock above his and his butt, and feeling beside his thighs Dean’s. “What happened the last time we didn’t talk?” He asked as he put his hands in Dean’s collar bone, stroking it.

“We had amazing sex.” He answered in a rogue way. Cas smirked.

“Yes, apart from that.” He said with a happy smile. Dean didn’t answer. “We had an awful fight.” He looked at Dean’s green eyes that were glassy. Dean nodded. “So please, Dean, talk to me.”

Dean couldn’t resist that look. He wanted to tell Cas everything, sooner or later he would have to tell him, but he didn’t know how. Dean rubbed his face and sighed. “I don’t know where to start.” He said with fear.

“The best way it’s from the beginning.” Cas said sweetly. Dean made a sad smile, that’s what he told Cas when Cas wanted to tell him everything that was going through his head. Dean took one of Cas’ hands and held it, tightening their fingers, Dean loved that.

Dean took a deep breath and looked down. “Yesterday Sam didn’t need me to fix any shelves or wardrobe. He wanted to talk about something.” He started to say. He tightened Cas’ hand. His heart was starting to beat faster and despite being in hot water, he was starting to feel cold, an awful cold that penetrated his bones and his heart. He took a deep breath. Cas could feel how bad Dean was in that moment, so he approached himself to Dean a bit more and stroked his face with his free hand. Dean closed his eyes with the gentle touch and took a deep breath. “Kevin found something on the tablet.” He opened his eyes and met Cas’ blue eyes. “If angels don’t get back to heaven, they will become Lucifer’s knights and hell will be on Earth.” He made a pause to look at Cas’ eyes and see every single detail of them, they were so blue, they had something that Dean never saw in any other person’s eyes, and he knew that he wasn’t going to see again those beautiful eyes anymore in three weeks. “But if we do the spell to get the fallen angels back, you will go back to heaven too, because even graceless angels will return there.” Dean’s voice broke in that moment and he felt how the weight of the whole world fell in his shoulders, feeling devastated.

Cas looked at him worried. “But I can go back to you, Dean.” He said staring at Dean’s glassy eyes. Dean’s heart broke even more with those words.

“No Cas, you can’t.” He said breathy. “If we do that, no angel could go back to Earth until thousands of years have passed.”

Cas’ heart broke in pieces when he heard that. That had to be wrong, that couldn’t be possible. He wasn’t going to leave Dean, he couldn’t leave him. Fear ran his body. But Dean had to save all the people, he knew it. If he didn’t do it, guilt would follow him until he died, he couldn’t live with that guilt, Cas knew it. Cas sighed. “You have to do that Dean.” He said sadly.

Dean’s eyes now showed unbelief and rage. “No Cas, you can’t be telling me that!” He yelled angrily. Cas looked sadder. “You can’t tell me to do that! I can’t let you go!” Dean’s eyes showed that he was about to cry, but tears didn’t want to fall.

“Do you think I want to?!” Cas shouted frustrated. Dean shook with that voice. Cas cupped Dean’s jaw “I love you Dean! I love you more than anything or anyone in this world! I want to stay with you! I want to wake up every morning next to you! I want to grow old with you!” His voice was strong and broken. “I want to live every single freaking day of my life with you!”

“Then, fuck everything off!” He said touching Cas’ hands. “Let the world end, let’s live until it ends!” His eyes were shinning in a special way, he wanted Cas to stay, he didn’t care if the world ended or not, he just wanted Cas to stay with him.

“You can’t do that Dean!”

“Why not?! Why do I have to be the one who has to give everything all the time?!” He asked angry and frustrated. The cold he was feeling was gone, now his veins were pumping hot blood filled with wrath. “Why can’t I be selfish for only one time?! You are the best thing that ever happened to me and I have to see how you leave because I have to save the stupid world!” A tear fell from his eye and Cas closed his eyes. He knew Dean was right, he gave too much and he had to give even more. Dean brought Cas’ face closer, until they foreheads were touching. “I’d burn the whole world for you Cas. I love you.” He said breathy. Cas opened his eyes. He was about to cry too.

“Dean—” He sighed. Cas stroked with his thumbs Dean’s face and removed the tear. “You can’t do that, you can’t see how everyone dies knowing that you could have saved them. You can’t live with that. I won’t let you live with that.”

Dean’s eyes showed a fear that Cas never saw before. “No, no, no.”

“Dean listen!” He said closing his eyes strongly. He took a deep breath as one tear fall from one of his eyes. Then, he opened his eyes. “You are going to do that.”

“Damn it Cas, I’m not doing it!”

“Just listen to me!” Cas was angry, his eyes and voice showed it. “I promise you, that I will do all I can, to get back to you Dean. I promise it.” He was self-secure about that; his voice didn’t break or tremble. “I will spend every single second I spend in heaven trying to find a way out. I won’t stop until I find a way out that leads me back to you.” He said firmly. He tightened Dean’s face with his hands.

“Cas, you know it’s impossible.” Dean said sad. He wanted to believe Cas, he always came back to him, no mattered where he was, he always made it back to Dean, but this time, Dean knew Cas wasn’t going to make it.

“I have always come back to you Dean. I will make it again. I am the one who breaks all the rules for you, who rebels for you. I will do it again, I will do it as many times as I have to, just to be with you again. I will be back to you Dean, like always. I promise it.” Cas said strongly. In that moment Dean broke down and embraced Cas and hugged him, burying his face in Cas’ chest, crying like he never did before. Cas’ eyes were full of tears and they were falling slowly, but he wasn’t sobbing like Dean. Cas kissed Dean’s head and hugged him, holding him by his head and his back. “I’ll be back to you Dean. I promise it.” He said softly.

It was really painful for Dean. He felt like shit in that moment. He wished that he could stay in Cas’ arms forever, but he couldn’t. He wanted Cas’ promise to come true, but he knew that it was going to be impossible to Cas to come back to him. He nailed Cas’ back and kept crying. He couldn’t stop. He didn’t want to lose Cas, not after everything they had been through together. Why it always had to happen something that pulled them away? It was like something in the universe didn’t want them to be together. Dean tightened Cas against him, as if that could avoid the fact of Cas leaving forever.

They kept hugging for several moments. Dean was still crying and Cas’ tears still fell down. The water temperature descended a bit, but it was still quite hot. Their skins were wrinkled because of the water and the silence surrounded them, only broke by Dean’s sobs. They could feel the sadness and the frustration and they could hear each other’s hearts, beating in a broken way. Cas didn’t want to leave Dean, but he wasn’t going to let Dean not to save all the people and live with guilt forever. Cas was aware that the chances about going back to Dean once he was locked in heaven were minimal, but he knew that he could do it. Dean showed him that if you really wanted something and you really believed in it, you could do it, he saw it when he stopped Lucifer and made Sam to come back and locked Lucifer, all thanks to Dean. Cas knew that he will made it back to Dean. He didn’t care how much he would suffer on trying to find a way out of heaven; he would do all he could and more just to be with Dean again.

“My Dean.” Cas said trying to sound sweet. Dean’s breath cut off. Cas started to ran his fingers across Dean’s wet hair. “My Dean.” He repeated and kissed his head. Dean’s sobs stopped and he pulled away. Cas looked at Dean’s eyes; they were even prettier than they usually were when Dean cried. Cas removed the tears from Dean’s face softly and then, he kissed him in a sad way.

“It’s not fair.” Dean whispered.

“Nothing’s fair.” He sighed sadly. There was a silence. “How much time do we have until—?” He didn’t finish the sentence. He didn’t want to say it.

“Almost three weeks.” He asked devastated.

Cas looked up and took a deep breath. “At least we still have some time.”

Dean raised his brows lazily. “Yeah.” He sighed and picked up the whiskey bottle and gave a drink. He offered it to Cas who gave a drink too, then he gave it back to Dean, who left it on the floor. Dean rubbed his face. He was feeling really bad. “I’m feeling really bad about all this shit.” He confessed.

“Me too.” He closed his eyes and sighed. “But I will be back, Dean. I will come back to you one more time.”

Dean wanted to believe it was going to be like that; Cas would spent a small time in heaven and he would find a way out and everything would be as great as it used to be before; they would be together, they would wake up every morning next to each other, they would have sex as much as they wanted, they would travel together, they would hunt together, they would grow together… But he couldn’t believe in miracles, he knew that everything that at some point in his life seemed to make him happy, it always ended up in a bad way, and this time he knew that Cas, wasn’t going to be the exception.


	25. Chapter 25

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's not a great chapter, I know, but I needed to write all of this because it wouldn't fit in the next chapter, anyway, enjoy it.  
> One more time, thank you for the subscriptions, the bookmarks, the comments, the kudos, and of course, for reading.

Dean was in the kitchen, drinking a glass of whiskey, hoping that it would make him feel better, but it wasn’t. After telling Cas two days ago about getting all the angels back to heaven and that Cas would be locked there for thousands of years, Dean was feeling even worse. He couldn’t sleep, he didn’t want to eat, and even alcohol couldn’t help him either. Dean was depressed and sad, every time he was with Cas another part inside of Dean died, he felt pain in every single part of him. He knew that very soon all of that would be just memories and it hurt like hell.

It was late night, everyone was sleeping and he was the only one awake, trying to drown his sorrows in that glass of whiskey, but it was a failed attempt. He wasn’t drinking much; he was just moving the glass with his hand sometimes, seeing how the liquid moved. When he didn’t stare at the glass he just stared with emptiness in his eyes at the part of the kitchen that was in front of him.

Suddenly, he was embraced by the neck by some arms and he was kissed in his head. It was Cas. He didn’t hear him coming, but he knew it was him.

“Come to bed Dean.” Cas said nuzzling Dean’s hair.

“I can’t sleep.” Dean said gloomy.

“We can do some things if you can’t sleep.” He suggested.

Dean made a tired smile. “I’m not in the mood for sex, Cas.” His voice was broken.

Cas sighed and sat down in the chair that was next to Dean. He knew that their situation wasn’t the best one, he was feeling quite bad too, but Dean needed to get away a bit from everything, not to succumb to depression. “It’s that helping?” He asked with an angry tune.

“Honestly? No.” He said reluctantly.

“Dean.” Cas started to say. He took a deep breath. “I promised you that I will be back.”

“I know you did.”

“Then, why are you drinking?” He asked. Dean gave him an obvious look.

“Because I don’t think you are going to make it.” He answered pissed off. Dean didn’t want to talk like that with Cas, but he was feeling like hell and he couldn’t hold his frustration.

“You sound like I sounded in purgatory.” He said frustrated. Dean stared at him in a painful way. “You don’t trust me?”

“Of course I trust you Cas!” Dean felt how pain ran his whole body. “I know that you will do all you can and more to get yourself out from there.” His eyes showed pity. Cas put his hand above Dean’s hand and stroked it. Dean loved when Cas caressed his hand in that sweet way. “I don’t trust the angels.” He said breathy. Cas sighed. “You have made a lot of awful things in heaven, do you think that, when they see you, they will just let you walk as if nothing happened at all?”

Cas didn’t thought about that. He killed a lot of angels when he became God and he helped Metatron to cast all the angels out of heaven, despite unknowing Metatron’s intentions. “I didn’t think about that.” He confessed.

“What if they kill you?”

“They won’t.”

“How are you so sure?”

Cas wasn’t sure about it. He knew that a lot of them wanted to kill him whenever they see him. “Because I am.” Cas lied as he looked down.

“You still can’t look at my eyes when you lie to me.” Dean said with an acid smile. Cas blushed a bit; Dean knew him too well.  
He looked at Dean’s eyes. “I don’t know if they would kill me or not, however, I know that I would do everything to get out and to stay away from them as far as I can in order to keep myself alive.” He said very self-secure.

“And what if you can’t? This time, everything it’s really fucked up, it’s going to be impossible.” Dean said sad.

“I’m a professional breaking heaven’s rules, right?” He smirked. Dean let out a short and low laugh. Cas had missed hearing Dean’s laugh those days, although that laugh wasn’t Dean’s usual laugh, this time it was sadder than Dean’s laugh. Dean was too sad and Cas hated seeing Dean that bad; he wanted him to feel better. “I know it’s going to be really hard Dean, but I have done more difficult things before.” He grimaced. “I have died a lot of times and I have always come back to life.”

“Yeah, but all those times were thanks to God.” He reminded him with a sassy face.

“Yes, I know. “ He said rolling his eyes. “But I will get out.”

“You keep saying that all the time. They are just empty words Cas, you don’t know how the hell you are going to get out of there.” Dean said really angry. Cas tried to hold his anger but he couldn’t hold it quite much.

“Damn it Dean, I know all of that! I’m aware! But I’m sure as hell that I will find a way! I’m not going to stay there, knowing that the person that I most love it’s here, waiting for me because I was the reason of why the angels fell and he had no choice on letting me go to save the whole world!” He yelled angrily. Dean was shocked; sometimes he forgot that Cas, despite of being human, he still was a fierce angel. Dean looked down and Cas too. Cas was panting a bit.

“It’s not your fault Cas.” Dean whispered.

“Yes Dean, it is. If I didn’t listen to Metatron, nothing of this would have happened.” He rubbed his face and later, he looked up, he didn’t want to cry in that moment.

“Yes, but if it wasn’t for that, we wouldn’t have been together.” Dean said looking at Cas, who looked back.

“Well, that’s true.” He sighed crushed. There was a long silence. “You know, all this time we have been together, it has been the happiest time of my life.” He confessed shyly but also sorrowful.

“Yeah, for me too.” They looked at each other and Cas stroked Dean’s hand again. “What are the chances of coming back?” He asked.

“I don’t know. I’m not as good as Spock on calculating the chances of anything.” He said tired.

Dean opened his eyes widely and raised his brows. “Did you just make a reference to _Star Trek_?” He asked surprised.

“Yes.” Cas answered casually. Dean started to laugh. No one of them could believe that Dean was laughing that happily. “What’s so funny?” He asked puzzled.

“I didn’t expect to hear you making a reference from Star Trek.” Dean answered happily. Cas smiled shyly. “Oh crap, I’m going to miss this so much.” He said when he wasn’t laughing anymore and he felt sad again, he couldn’t help it. It was awesome how Cas could make him happy with those little things even in the worst moment.

Cas held Dean’s hand, tangling their fingers. “You look great when you are laughing or smiling.” Cas confessed.

“Yeah, you too.” He sighed.

“Dean, I know it’s being a hard moment in our lives, but we can’t stay depressed all the time.” Cas started to say. Dean made an acid half-smile and looked at their hands. “We have less than three weeks together; we should seize those weeks and stay together, doing things.” Dean looked at him; Cas was right, they couldn’t spent their last time being like that, feeling like shit and letting depression to take over them, they have to seize every single moment, but it was going to be hard because they would know that they were running out of time and soon, they won’t be able to be together again. “I know it’s going to be hard, we aren’t going to forget what it’s going to happen, but I want to spend all these days with you, trying to be as happy as we can. I don’t want you to spend the nights drinking, trying to fall asleep, seeing how, with every minute, you feel sadder, more frustrated, more tired.” He cupped with one of his hands Dean’s jaw. It was really comfortable. “I want to kiss you, to have sex with you, to do things with you, to go somewhere with you, I want to hear you laughing again, I want to spend this time we have got with you, trying to be as happy as we can.”

Dean gave him a sweet look and smiled. “I hate when you are right on something.” Dean joked. Cas smiled. Dean approached Cas and rested his head in Cas’ shoulder. Cas kissed his head and placed his hand in Dean’s hair, moving slowly his fingers, messing a bit the hair. “I want to do all of that, but—” He took a deep breath.

“But?”

“It’s hard.” He moved his eyes up to meet Cas’. “Every single second I’m aware that you are going to leave and I feel like shit.” He explained as he enjoyed how Cas caressed his hair.

“I know Dean, I feel like that too, but I would rather spend our last days in a good way than being depressed.” Cas said calmly. 

Dean nodded. “Yeah, me too.” He sighed. “We could try.” He raised his head to look at Cas’ face and then he kissed him, gently and sweetly. Cas cupped Dean’s jaw, which was moving in the kiss while Dean gripped with one hand Cas’ hair. They opened their mouths widely to let their tongues met. It had been a few days since they kissed like that and they had missed it. 

When Dean pulled away, Cas whined. “Don’t stop the kiss that fast.”

Dean smirked and kissed him again in that way. He loved Cas’ mouth, salty and sweet at the same time, fierce and gentle. He loved to kiss him in any possible way and it always felt really good. “Nice kiss.” Dean said with a naughty smile. Cas bit his lower lip. “Yeah, we could spend these days doing things. It would help us to feel less shitty.” He said shyly.

Cas’ eyes shone with those words. “I’m glad to hear it.” He kissed Dean again. He opened his mouth and pushed his tongue to meet Dean’s, swirling and twisting them together, tasting each other. Cas loved those kisses; they made him be breathless.  
This time was Cas who pulled away first and Dean whined. “Not so fast.” He said mischievously.

“I needed to breath.” Cas said before kissing him with a small hussy smile.

They always lost themselves when they kissed; it was like the rest of the world didn’t matter, because they were kissing and that was the only important thing. They loved how their mouths got wet and warm and how it seemed in the last seconds of the kiss like there wasn’t any more air in their lungs. They felt really alive when they kissed.

When they pulled away Dean stroked Cas’ face and pressed a small kiss in his forehead. Cas closed his eyes for a moment. Dean’s lips went descending slowly; Cas giggled with the touch. Then, Dean arrived at his lips and he gave him a lovely small kiss. Cas opened his eyes to see Dean.

“Let’s go to bed, Cas. Let’s see if we can sleep.” Dean said. Cas nodded and they got up. Dean took the glass of whiskey and took a drink, there was some remaining, and then, he let the glass on the sink.

“Come on.” Cas said holding Dean’s hand.

They went to their bedroom and lay down in bed; they embraced each other and they tangled their legs. Cas fall asleep quite easy but it took Dean a bit longer, but he fell asleep just by hearing Cas’ calm breathing. He was going to miss too much those little things when his sweet angel wasn’t there anymore. He was going to miss a lot of things about Cas. He was going to miss Cas.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my favourite chapter, I really loved writing it, so I hope you enjoy it as much as I did when I wrote it.  
> Thanks for the kudos, the bookmarks, the comments, the subscriptions and my biggest thank you to everyone who reads :)

Dean knew that Cas was right about trying to spend their last time together in a happy way by doing a lot of things together, so the next day, Dean remembered that he thought a few weeks ago about going with Cas to a theme park, he was sure Cas had never gone to a theme park before and he thought that Cas would enjoy it, so he said Cas that they could go to a theme park together the next day, and Cas agreed, after Dean explained him what a theme park was; Cas never heard what was that in his life, and after Dean’s explanation, he was quite interested and happy on going to the theme park and spend the whole day with Dean there.

They had to wake up early, something that Cas didn’t like too much, he hated mornings, but after coffee, his bad mood was gone, and also after a fiercely and passionate kiss that Dean gave him. The nearest theme park, one that Dean visited one time with Sam when they were kids that Bobby took them there because John was working on a case, was two hours driving, and Dean wanted to arrive as soon as possible and try to stay in the theme park as much as they could. The last time he was in a theme park was when he was 16, when he was dating with a chick he met in high-school. Dean loved amusement parks, he loved all the rides in there, and he loved to ride in everything a lot of times. He was really enthusiastic about going there with Cas.

The journey was really good, Dean was playing Led Zeppelin and he laughed and smiled really proudly when Cas sang the song. He heard those songs a few times, like a lot of songs from Metallica or AC/DC or Black Sabbath, but he liked most Led Zeppelin, so after hearing the songs a couple of times, he knew most of the lyrics. Dean couldn’t believe that Cas was singing Led Zeppelin, and he was loving it. At first Cas sang shyly, he knew that Dean loved that band, and he didn’t want to spoil the songs by singing them along, but Dean started to sing loudly the song _Ramble On_ , which Cas also knew most of the lyrics, and he encouraged Cas to sing with him really loud that they couldn’t even hear right how the singer sang, but they didn’t care, because they were singing with all their hearts, smiling widely and putting a lot of passion on it. When the song finished, they started laughing. They were really happy. The next song played, it was _Black Dog_ and Cas sang it. Dean really liked Cas’ voice, it wasn’t the best voice he ever heard, but for Dean it was pretty, a few times he sang out of tune, but once his voice was heated, he sang quite good. He sang again with him, quite loud and Dean started to shook his head back and forth, but he had to stop because Cas thought if he kept doing that as he drove, they would have an accident, although he knew Dean’s tendency to look at the shot gun when he was driving, and surprisingly, Dean never had an accident, nevertheless, Cas would rather see Dean focused on the road than shook his head with the music. Dean just laughed and kept his head still.

After less than two hours, they arrived at the amusement park; they parked the Impala and Dean picked from the trunk a small black backpack where Dean saved his mobile phone and wallet, because in roller coasters those things always flew away, and also there was a bottle of water for he and Cas. While he was taking the backpack, Cas was looking at the rides of the theme park, with his mouth wide opened, admiring everything. Dean approached him and held him by the waist.

“Awesome, huh?” Dean said happily. Cas didn’t say anything, he just nodded and kept looking at the rides. Dean took Cas’ hand. “C’mon Cas.” He said giggling.

They bought the tickets and then, when they were inside the theme park, Dean tightened Cas’ hand and started to run, pulling Cas with him, so Cas had to run too. He didn’t know why Dean was running like that, but he didn’t care; Dean was laughing while he was running and Cas smiled; people gave them weird looks, but neither or them care. They kept running until Dean found the rollercoaster he was looking for and they queued.

“Sorry for the run.” Dean apologized as he was panting.

“It was fun.” Cas smiled widely, showing his teeth.

Dean dedicated him a smile too. “I love this rollercoaster; it has loops and all that kind of awesome things.” He confessed with a timid smile. Cas was panting too; it was a long and fast run. “Maybe it’s too heavy for you to start with, but it’s really awesome.”

Cas looked at the rollercoaster. It was quite high, the highest one in the amusement park, it had loops and corkscrew and people shouted a lot in every part of it. Cas felt a bit nervous; it was his first time in a rollercoaster and that one imposed. “I’m a bit nervous.” Cas grimaced.

Dean kissed his forehead. That relaxed Cas a little bit. “Don’t worry. Everyone who rides a rollercoaster for the first time is always nervous.” He said in a sweet way. Cas made a tiny shy smile.

After some minutes waiting in the queue, luckily there weren’t too many people yet in the theme park, it was Dean’s and Cas’ time to ride. They sit next to each other and pulled down the security bar that circled their waist. Cas was really nervous; waiting in the queue was the easy part, now that the rail track was standing in front of him, seeing the slope, it made him feel really nervous. He swallowed before one of the workers checked if his security bar was tightened enough.

Dean looked at Cas, who was starting to get a bit pale. “Cas.” Dean said. Cas looked at him. “The best thing you can do while we are up there is to shout.” He recommended.

Cas nodded excitedly. “I will remember it.”

Luckily for Cas, they weren’t in the first line, that would have been quite distressing, although Dean would have loved it. The train started to move and Cas felt even more nervous, it was being slowly while it went up the slope and Cas’ stomach was starting to tickle him. Then, he saw the fall he grabbed strongly the security bar, and when they fell, he shouted as much as his lungs let him. He closed his eyes several times, especially in the loops and in the corkscrew and he shouted a lot, like most of the people that were there too. He could hear Dean shouting woohoos and laughing, and then, the ride stopped.

“Wow!” Dean shouted excited. Then, he looked at Cas, who still had his eyes closed and was looking really pale. Dean got scared. “Cas? Are you okay?” He asked worried.

Cas opened his eyes and let out an excited breath. “We have to ride again Dean!”

Dean laughed and Cas too. Cas really enjoyed the ride; at first he was a bit nervous but then, it was a great thing. He loved how fast they moved and that feeling in his stomach, how he felt tickles in his whole body and how adrenalin ran though his veins. It was really awesome, his face showed his joy and Dean was so glad about that. When the security bars pulled away, Dean took Cas’ hand and they ran to another rollercoaster. And that’s what they kept doing for a lot of time, they rode in a rollercoaster and then, they went to ride another one, running through the park, laughing and having fun. Cas was starting to love rollercoasters as much as Dean did, and he started to shout with Dean and raise his arms in the falls. Then, when there were no more rollercoasters to ride, they ride a drop tower, where Cas shouted even more than when he rode the first roller coaster, that thing descended extremely fast; also, they ride the pendulum, quite exciting for both of them and the top spin, where Cas laughed with every turn the ride made. After that, they were feeling really hungry, so they bought some hot dogs and some French fries.

“Are you enjoying this?” Dean asked. Cas nodded as he chewed the hot dog.

“This place is awesome!” Cas exclaimed happily after he swallowed. 

Dean laughed. “I’m so happy to hear that.” He took some fries. “I can’t believe you didn’t even know about amusement parks.”

“Well, it’s not a common topic in heaven.” He said sassily. Dean kicked softly Cas’ leg and Cas smirked.

“You are an asshole sometimes.” Dean raised his brows and grimaced.

Cas rolled his eyes and bit the hot dog. “You should cook this at home.” He pointed the hot dog. “It’s delicious.”

“Yeah, you like long and thick things.” He smirked rising a brow.

“Dean!” Cas exclaimed exalted and blushed, and he punched Dean’s arm.

Dean laughed really loud. “Oh crap, I didn’t expect you were going to get the reference!” He started to shake one of his arms and his face started to get really red because of his laughter. Cas kicked him softly, but Dean didn’t stop laughing.

“You are unbelievable.” He murmured rolling his eyes.

“Oh, c’mon Cas, you know it’s true what I’ve said.” Dean said in a rogue way. Cas blushed even more. Dean bent his thorax so he could approach Cas, who was sitting in front of him and kissed him. “I love when you blush.” He whispered when he parted. Cas stared at him shyly and made a tiny smile; then, they kept eating.

When they finished eating, they went for the slow rides; neither of them wanted to vomit, so they wouldn’t ride in the rollercoasters again until almost two hours passed, just when food was already digested. Cas saw the carousel and he pulled Dean to it; it wasn’t Dean’s favorite ride, but he couldn’t deny Cas to ride in it when he saw Cas’ amused face. They ride in two different wood horses, next to each other and when the ride started, Cas’ face was beautiful, it shone in a bright way, beaming happiness. Cas thought that the carousel was so magical; he was smiling like the little kids that were riding for the first time, and Dean wasn’t focused on the ride, he was focused in Cas’ expression and Dean smiled with sweetness at the love of his life. Once the ride stopped and they dismounted from the wood horses, Dean kissed Cas in a lovely way and Cas melted down; he circled Dean’s waist while Dean was cupping his face. When Dean pulled away, Cas was still tasting the kiss and he blushed and bit his nether lip. Then, they rode the Star Flyer, and they enjoyed the sights they had when the flying chairs went really up. Cas held Dean’s hand and stroked it, and then, he kissed him, feeling how the air stroked them in the heights. After that ride, they went to the Pirate Ship, a silly pendulum ride, but they actually had fun on it. Cas smiled and laughed and Dean too.

They were searching for another slow ride before going back to rollercoasters and the strong rides again, but when they were walking, Dean saw a bathroom and he had an idea. He wasn’t sure if Cas was going to like it, but he was going to ask him anyways, hoping that Cas would say yes.

“Cas—” Dean started to say. Cas looked at him. They stopped walking. “There’s a bathroom right there.” Dean started to say as with his eyes pointed the bathroom. Then he approached Cas’ ear. “How about we have sex there?” He whispered in his ear. Cas shivered and blushed. Dean moved away from Cas’ ear and looked at him.

Cas was biting his lip. That idea seemed fantastic. His eyes met Dean’s. “Let’s do it.” Cas whispered shyly approaching Dean’s ear.

Dean blushed and smirked and he walked to the bathroom with Cas, holding their hands. That bathroom was cleaner than the last time Dean was, several years ago, thankfully, because having sex in an unclean place wasn’t something that Dean liked quite much, so when he saw that it was quite clean, he rejoiced. All the toilet’s doors were opened, so they were completely alone; Dean pulled Cas to the furthest one from the door, and when they were there, Cas closed the door and moved the lack so nobody could get there. And luckily, the doors didn’t have any space behind and nobody could see their feet, so they have a lot of privacy.

Cas was pushed against the door because Dean lunged him to kiss him fiercely and needy. Cas’ back was touching the door. Dean opened his mouth to get his tongue inside Cas’ mouth and Cas placed his hands in Dean’s hair and ran his fingers through it as they kissed. Dean started to unbutton Cas’ jeans, but Cas stopped him and pulled away his mouth.

“Wait.” Cas said breathy. He ducked and took off his boots quickly and with a soft kick he pulled them away. Dean did the same with his, leaving his socks on too. “Keep going.”

Dean smirked and gripped the flaps of Cas’ shirt to bring Cas closer and kissed him. Dean pulled down Cas’ jeans and Cas took them off by shaking his legs, later he unbuttoned Dean’s jeans and the hunter took them off by shaking his legs too.

“We should—” Dean started to say between kisses. “Take the t-shirts off—” He kissed again Cas. “Because of the come.” He kissed him again. Cas nodded.

They took their shirts and t-shirts. They were really turned on; the feeling of knowing that someone could bust them was extremely excited, and they were enjoying it. Also it had been several days since they had sex, they were too depressed for it those last days. 

Once they were completely naked, except from the socks that they were wearing, Dean gripped tightly Cas’ legs and raised him. Cas made a funny noise and held himself on Dean’s nape and head tightly, and with his legs, he embraced Dean’s waist. His back was leaning against the door and his head was standing higher than Dean’s; he could fall easily, but he had his legs tangled around Dean and Dean was holding him by the sides. Once Dean ensured that Cas didn’t have any chance to fall, he started fucking him and Cas let out a sweet moan. Dean rocked his hips so he could fuck easily Cas, moving his cock quite fast inside Cas, who shivered when he felt Dean inside him.

“Dean— oh Dean—” Cas moaned. He had missed having Dean inside him.

Dean kissed his neck as he fucked Cas, who arched his neck and moaned. Dean was bringing Cas down and up to get him fucked and Cas started to move a bit so Dean didn’t do everything and he could feel him better. Then, Dean started to fuck Cas harder and bit softly Cas’ neck, and Cas felt better than ever.

“Dean!— Dean!— DEAN!” Cas moaned loudly. Dean was fucking him extremely good and his cock got beyond the sensitive part several times that Cas didn’t know how his legs still had the strength to be tangled around Dean.

“Cas, don’t moan so loud.” Dean said moaning too; he didn’t stop fucking him.

“Then, don’t fuck me this good.” He said smirking.

Dean bit his lip and kept fucking Cas. He was loving his loud moans, how they were becoming louder and how Cas tightened him more. He pushed his cock a little more inside Cas and he let out a loud moan. Dean sucked Cas’ neck and Cas ran his fingers desperately though Dean’s hair. Cas loved feeling Dean inside him, he loved how warm and wet Dean was and how it made him moan loudly, but especially he loved how he felt when Dean was inside him. And Dean knew it, so he kept fucking Cas a little bit more, making Cas’ body to shake a lot, his back curved, his fingers tightened Dean’s head and nape and his legs shook. Cas was feeling so much pleasure. Dean shook his hips and his cock got inside Cas one more time and Cas had an orgasm. The way Dean was fucking him should be illegal or something, because the pleasure he was feeling was higher than ever. He was coming, his heart was beating fast and there was that blank filling his head, he was losing himself, but Dean was holding him. He loved all of that, he loved having Dean inside him, making him feel like that.

His legs started to slide along Dean’s body, so Dean get him down carefully. Cas was still rapt, he had his eyes closed but he brought Dean’s mouth to his and kissed him in a dirty way; moving, swirling and twisting their tongues together. 

Cas was panting and looking at Dean, who was still hard and he realized that Dean hadn’t orgasmed yet, so he should take care of him, although Cas was a bit exhausted, but he needed to be inside Dean; it had been several days since he was inside of Dean.

Cas kissed Dean fiercely, pushing his tongue inside Dean, feeling how the hunter pinched his nipples gently, turning him on again. Cas pulled away from the kiss and looked with desire at Dean, then he kissed him again and he twirled them and Dean laughed; now Dean’s back was leaning on the door.

“Turn over Dean.” Cas whispered when their mouth parted, rubbing his now hard cock with Dean’s.

Dean turned over, so he was facing the door and Cas was facing Dean’s back. Cas kissed and bit his neck softly, later, Cas placed his hands in Dean’s sides and then, he started to fuck Dean. He moaned and bit his lower lip. One of Cas’ hands was placed in Dean’s hipbone, while his other hand was pinching softly Dean’s nipple. Cas shook his hips quickly to get his cock inside Dean, while he kissed his nape.

“Oh fuck, Cas—” Dean moaned. He was enjoying that. When Cas fucked him, Dean felt better than in his whole life, because Cas filled his emptiness, and he felt full, he felt great.

Cas fucked him a bit harder and Dean moaned a bit louder, he was feeling warm and wet inside him and when Cas’ cock touched the sensitive part, his whole body arched and his legs shook. But when Cas fucked him even harder, all of that got more intense and Dean felt a great amount of pleasure.

“CAS!— CAS!—” Dean moaned really loud.

“Who’s now the loud one?” Cas moaned softly.

Dean smiled cockily with that as he moaned again loudly. He never was noisy during sex, but that time, he needed to; Cas was fucking him in a too awesome way that he had to be loud. Soon a really loud moan was let out of his mouth. Dean was loving the touch of Cas’ cock inside him. His neck arched when Cas fucked him hard again and he let out another moan once again, loudly. That was better than paradise for Dean.

Suddenly, they heard the bathroom door opening, so Cas stopped fucking Dean, although his cock was still inside Dean, and he blushed a lot. Dean, who was a bit blushed, looked askance at Cas. They hear a man walking towards an urinary.

“Keep fucking me.” Dean whispered. Cas made an unbelief look. “I will moan silently.”

Their breaths were shaken, and went even more shaken with that feeling of knowing that they could be discovered, but Cas nodded and kept fucking Dean, but not hard, because they needed to stay as silently as they could. Dean made his promise of moaning silently. When they heard the door closing, Cas fucked Dean as hard as he was doing before the interruption and Dean moaned loudly. Cas was moving quickly and Dean shook his body with pleasure. He couldn’t even breathe right, his chest was burning, his legs were feeling weak, but he was feeling a lot of pleasure. He made an orgasm with a small smile drawn on his lips and he came. Cas being inside him was the best thing that Dean ever felt.

Later, Cas got his cock out of Dean and leaned his chin in Dean’s shoulder; they were panting. Dean was spellbound by the way Cas’ fucked him.

“This was—” Cas panted. “Extraordinary.”

“Oh yeah, it was it.” Dean panted too. “Really awesome and exciting.”

They let out a small laugh. They were exhausted, but they were feeling really great. Dean turned over to cup Cas’ jaw and kissed him fiercely and passionately. Cas placed his hands in Dean’s waist and approached Dean even more to him, leaving no space between their bodies. When they pulled away, they saw they were really blushed and they smiled. Then, they cleaned the come in their bodies and got dressed; when they were fully dressed, they opened the door, they washed their hands and faces and they went to ride rollercoasters.

It was the time of the day when more people arrived at the park, so the queues started to get longer, but Dean and Cas spent the time talking and laughing, so time flew away faster. They ride in all the rollercoasters again; Cas now opened his eyes during the whole ride and was enjoying them even more, as much as Dean. The speed, the air hitting against them, how their stomachs tickled them with every fall, the feeling when they were prone, it was great. For some moments, those rides took their breath away, but then, they felt so alive, and they shouted and laughed and moved their arms. They were loving being there. 

They were walking through the theme park, trying to find another good ride; they were holding hands because they loved that, walking quite slowly, after running the whole morning and the sex, they didn’t want to run again, and it was nice to walk calmly. Dean was looking at every single place, remembering how many things changed since the last time he was there. He saw a photo booth and stopped walking. Cas looked curiously at Dean.

“What is it, Dean?” Cas wondered.

Dean looked at Cas. He didn’t have any photos with Cas and he wanted to have at least one, once he was gone. That thought gave him the creeps. It wasn’t time to think about that. “Cas, let’s take some photos together.” Dean said pulling Cas to the photo booth.

It was a bit narrow, but both of them could sit, although there was no space between them, but they liked that indeed. Dean picked from his wallet some dollars and looked at Cas.

“You want a copy for you?” Dean asked.

Cas made a thoughtful grimace. “Yes, I want a copy.”

Dean smiled and put the money inside the machine. “I guess you have never done this before.” He said looking with a rogue face at Cas.

Cas shook his head. “Never.”

“This is going to take four photos, so made different faces in all of them.” Dean explained hurriedly.

“Why?” Cas asked, but Dean didn’t answer, he was now looking at the screen smiling and putting his hand beside Cas head, showing only his index and middle finger. Cas looked at the screen, tilting his head as he always did when he was confused and he half-closed his eyes. The flash shoot and the photo was taken.

“C’mon Cas, made another face.” Dean said laughing.

Cas didn’t know what to do, he was really confused by all of that. Dean was now making his blue steel face and Cas was seeing it in the screen, so he bit his lower lip and smiled widely, trying to hold a laugh. That was the second photo. For the third one, Dean took with one of his hands Cas’ cheeks and squeezed then softly until Cas’ lips and cheeks were too squeezed and he kind of looked like a fish. Dean squeezed his nose and smirked while Cas was giving him a confused and angry look, then the flash shoot and they had the third photo. Dean was going to do something for the fourth, but Cas took the flaps of his shirt and kissed him, taking Dean by surprise, but he closed his eyes and kissed him, so that was the fourth photo. They got out from the photo booth and waited for the photos to be printed. When they were, Dean picked the two of them and handed Cas one.

“I love these photos.” Cas said laughing.

“Yeah, they are great.” Dean said happily. He bit his nether lip as he smiled. “I think they are the best photos I’ve ever taken.”

“You look gorgeous in all of them.” He said kissing Dean’s temple. Dean smiled wider with that and blushed; he always got blushed when Cas told him that he looked handsome or sexy or gorgeous. “Save it in your wallet for me, Dean.” He said handing Dean the photos. “I don’t want to lose it.” Dean took the photos and saved in his wallet the photos and then, he gave Cas a sweet kiss; after that, he took his hand and went to ride in another rollercoaster.

Time passed as they ride and queued. It was starting to get dark, although the sun was still in the sky, but it was grazing the horizon and the sky was painted in red, orange and yellow. Dean and Cas were a bit tired, it was long day, but they could hold on for some more hours. Dean wanted to wait until the fireworks, because he suspected that Cas never saw fireworks before. There were a lot of things that Cas hadn’t seen or do… Dean wanted to do a lot of things with Cas, but they didn’t have much time, Cas would be gone in some weeks and in that time, they would try to do as many things as they could, but Dean knew that it wasn’t going to be enough. He felt sad again, but he shook his head and drop out those thought; he wanted to have a happy day with Cas, he needed it, they needed it.

“Dean!” Cas said excited. Dean looked at him. His eyes were shining brightly and his mouth was opened wide, as if he saw something really wonderful. “Dean! What are those pink clouds that some people have?” He asked in an amused voice.

“Pink clouds?” Dean asked confused. Cas turned him over and pointed at a little girl who was eating cotton candy. Dean couldn’t help a smile; Cas was sometimes like a little kid. “That’s cotton candy Cas.” He explained with a smile. Cas was looking at it with a wonderful expression. “It’s a sweet. Do you want one?”

Cas’ eyes illuminated even more when he heard that. “Yes, Dean” He said so excited. Dean laughed and he walked with Cas to the cotton candy stall. Cas saw how the man was making the cotton candy, moving his hand in circles in the cotton candy machine, seeing how it was becoming bigger and bigger. Dean had to bit his tongue because he wanted to laugh; Cas’ expression was priceless, it was so pure and magical, but it was it more when he had the cotton candy in his hands. Dean paid and he and Cas sat down on a bech; Dean wanted to see Cas’ expression when he tasted cotton candy. Cas pinched it and took that piece to his mouth. It was so sweet and really soft; his face showed joy.

“You like it?” Dean asked with a pretty smile.

“I love it!” He said enthusiastically. Dean laughed really loud. “Why are you laughing?”

“Because you look so happy.” He answered with a huge smile. Cas blushed and smiled shyly. “I love when you look like that.”  
Cas blushed even more. Then, he pinched the cotton candy and gave it to Dean. “Have it.”

Dean took it and ate it. He forgot that he liked cotton candy. He remembered that one time he and Sam bought one and shared it and they ate it really fast. Cas took another pinch and tasted it with a big smile. Dean looked at him in a nostalgic way. Cas maybe missed a lot of things for being an angel but discovering new things, was something great. Cas enjoyed every single taste of the cotton candy and he gave Dean a lot of pinches, although Dean kept saying that it was all for Cas, but Cas said that Dean paid for it and that he liked it, so he wasn’t going to let Dean not to eat it. They ate the cotton candy and then, Dean kissed Cas, and both of them tasted like cotton candy, so the kiss was sweeter. Cas smiled when they pulled away and kissed Dean again, until no one of them tasted like cotton candy anymore.

After that, they rode several rides. Night arrived and the lights of the rides were switched on, and Cas liked how the amusement park looked with the lights on. There were shining colors everywhere, lighting up the rides and the night and Cas really liked it, even when they were in the rollercoasters, all those lights moved with them and everything looked pretty cool.

“We’ve got one more thing to do before we go.” Dean said taking Cas’ hand and approaching Cas to him.

“What is it?” Cas asked curious. He stroked Dean’s hair and kissed him.

“You will see.” He said naughtily and started to walk.

“Dean, tell me.” He begged in a needy way.

“I’m not going to tell you; it’s a surprise.”

Cas squeezed his nose and Dean kissed his temple. They walked to the place where the fountain was and they stood behind the wall railing, which a bit tall, it hid their waist down, so they could lean their elbows in it. Cas gave confused looks at Dean, hoping Dean would tell him what they were waiting for, but Dean didn’t say anything, he just made a smile and Cas punched Dean’s arm mildly. 

After several minutes, the fireworks started, and Dean looked up, so did Cas. It was really beautiful for Cas, he loved those color explosions, making different shapes and different colors. That was magical. His eyes shone brightly with every firework and his smile was of happiness. Dean looked at Cas and smiled too. He took Cas’ hand and Cas looked at their tangled hands, then he looked at Dean and kissed him with passion; he cupped Dean’s face and Dean embraced Cas’ back. Then, when they stopped kissing, they looked at each other’s eyes, illuminated by the colors of the fireworks. 

“I love you.” Dean said stroking Cas’ cheek with his thumb.

Cas made a beautiful smile. He never got tired of hearing Dean telling him that he loved him. “I love you.” Cas said.

They kissed again. Then, they looked at the fireworks; Dean was hugging Cas, who was hugging his waist. He looked again at Cas who was delighted by the spectacle and in that moment he knew that when they left the amusement part, reality would hit him again, that the happiness would gone, because he would remember that Cas would be gone so soon, and that they weren’t going to have that moment they were living, that it was going to be part of a memory. Dean tightened Cas against him; it was going to be like that, but he wasn’t going to forget all of that never, and until the fireworks’ show was over, he was going to enjoy that happiness, seeing how Cas loved that, seeing his wonderful expression and kissing him while he hugged him tightly, feeling the warmth of Cas in every single part of his body, his heart and his soul. He wished that every day when he woke up, he could live that day again, over and over again, hearing Cas laughing, seeing his smile, talking to him, kissing him, having sex with him, seeing his expression of joy, living a great day with Cas.


	27. Chapter 27

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ENjoy the chapter, and as always, I want to thank for the kudos, the subscriptions, the bookmarks, the comments and my biggest thank you goes to everyone that reads.

Those days were being a bit exhausted for Cas, but he didn’t mind, time was running out and he wanted to seize every single day with Dean as much as he could. The day after the one they were in the amusement park, Dean and Cas stayed at the bunker, watching a movie, because both of them were a bit tired, but the next day, Dean woke him up and said that they were going with Sam to see the Grand Canyon. Cas, with his sleepy face and his morning mood, agreed, although he wished he could have stayed in bed just one hour more, but he wanted to go with Sam and Dean. The journey didn’t take so long, just some hours, but it looked short because they were having fun. Sam looked amused at Cas when he saw that Cas knew the lyrics from some AC/DC’s songs and how he sang the songs along with Dean, who looked so proud of Cas and told Sam, who was the shot gun, that he should learn from Cas and start listening to good music, not that crap he listened to. Of course Sam got his revenge and put for a moment the radio and _Single Ladies_ by Beyoncé played, and Sam and Cas started to sing it; Cas heard it before because sometimes he asked Sam his iPod because he was amused by music, he liked everything that was music, from Beyoncé to Metallica, and he didn't like all those bands or singers from Disney factory, because he didn’t found any talent on them. When Dean heard Cas singing Beyoncé’s song, he opened his eyes widely and looked at him confused and a bit scared too, while Sam was trying in a poor way to hold his laughter. Before the song finished, Dean put again his tapes, he didn’t want to hear that crap again and glared at Sam, who was laughing and Cas was protesting because he wanted to hear the whole song, but Dean said that no way, that he couldn’t believe that Cas actually liked that. Cas rolled his eyes and sighed; Dean was so choosy with music.

When they arrived at the canyon, they looked at it amazed. No one of them were there before; Sam and Dean only watched on TV or in books, but never in reality, and it was more awesome that they expected. Cas saw how that place was formed during millions of years, but being there, so close to it, was incredible. They walked the routes that were made, so they could see a big part of the canyon. Dean held Cas’ hand and looked at his face, smiling because of Cas’ expression. Cas loved the nature, he always loved it, since the Earth was born. He loved how beautiful it was and its wonders. He loved the Earth too much.

“Do you like it?” Dean asked.

Cas nodded. “I have always liked this place.”

“You’ve been here before?” Sam wondered.

“No.” Cas answered without looking at the canyon. “But I have seen how it was becoming a canyon since the beginning.”

“Really?” Dean said shocked. “Wow.” Sometimes he forgot how old Cas actually was.

They spent the whole morning there, walking and admiring the canyon; later, when Dean’s stomach was starting to make noises because it wanted food, they went to a dinner to have lunch. Dean and Cas sat together, next to each other, while Sam was in the seat left in front of them. Sam could see that they were smiling, as if they were truly happy, but when he looked at their eyes, he saw that they were filled with sadness; they could try to look happy, do happy things, but they could never forget what was going to happen in a few weeks. Sam knew how devastated his brother was going to be after Cas was gone; he wished that there was another way to solve things so Cas wouldn’t have to go. Sam was going to miss Cas a lot too, he wanted Cas to stay in the bunker, because Cas was his friend and he deserved to stay in the bunker living with them. But also, Sam wanted Cas to stay because his brother was really happy with Cas. Dean had to sacrifice a lot of things since he was just four years old, and Sam knew that Cas was the best thing that ever happened to his brother, and Cas was going to be taken away from Dean. He didn’t deserve that after all the things Dean had to do. Something that Sam always admired about his brother was that Dean always give but he never received anything, and Sam hated that and always tried to make happy Dean with small things, because his big brother always took care of him, and he will try to do his best once Cas was gone, because Dean didn’t deserve having Cas taken away.

The afternoon of the next day, Cas and Dean decided to take a walk together through the woods, it wasn’t anything special, but they liked walking around, holding hands and talking about anything. The good thing about them it was that, it didn’t matter if they were in completely silence, it wasn’t awkward, they liked to remain in silence sometimes, they loved to be together, talking or not, doing anything, from walking calmly to have sex. They were happy with just being together, without doing or saying anything.

Although they walked for several hours that day, Cas couldn’t sleep. He was tired from the walk and from their journey to the Grand Canyon, and yet, he couldn’t sleep. He was thinking about Dean. Luckily, Dean was sleeping and he was being the little spoon. Cas was embracing Dean with his arms, with one of his hands in Dean’s waist and the other one in the chest. Dean liked to sleep with his head almost touching the headboard, so Cas’ face was touching Dean’s nape. He kissed it and nuzzled it, but Dean was sleeping soundly. Cas sighed and tangled a bit more his legs with Dean’s. He liked how Dean’s hairy legs tickled him a bit. He closed his eyes to fall asleep, but it was impossible; he couldn’t stop thinking about their situation. He took a deep breath and he got up from bed carefully, he didn’t want to wake up Dean. He covered Dean, making sure that he was well covered and then, he moved towards the door quietly, without making a noise and left the bedroom. He went towards the library, where the light was on and found Sam, leaving a book in one of the shelves; he shook when he saw Cas.

“Cas! I didn’t hear you coming.” Sam said surprised.

“Sorry.” Cas apologized.

“Are you okay?” He wondered worried.

“I can’t sleep.” He sighed.

Sam grimaced sadly. “You are thinking about the return to heaven, right?” Cas nodded and looked down. Sam sighed. “Hey, Cas—” Sam swallowed. His friends raised his sight to stare at the hunter. “Do you really think you are going to make it?”

Cas chuckled. “You sound like Dean…”

“Well.” He made a sarcastic face. “I want to believe that you are going to be back, but—”

“The chances are minimal.” Cas ended up the sentence for Sam, who nodded. “I don’t know Sam.” He started to say. He felt sad. He was aware that this time it was going to be really difficult to get back to Dean, he knew it well. “But I’m going to do everything I can to get out and come back.”

“I know you will.” Sam smiled. He approached Cas and gave him in the shoulder a friendly grip. He was going to leave, but Cas talked to him.

“Sam.” Cas said in a broken voice. Sam turned over to face him. “I know you will take care of Dean, like always, but please, don’t let him get depressed when I’m gone.” He asked breathy.

“I’ll kick his ass if he gets depressed.” Sam smiled friendly. Cas smiled too.

Sam left Cas in the library and Cas searched for a book to read. He found _Hamlet_ by William Shakespeare, so he picked it up and went to the room where the sofa and the television were. He switched on the small lamp, he sat down, with his back resting on the armrest, stretched his legs and started to read, hoping that he would find himself tired after an hour or so and he would fall sleep easily.

Some minutes passed and Cas was reading, when Dean appeared with two mugs. Cas didn’t hear him coming; once Cas was absorbed by a book, everything that surrounded him disappeared and he fell in the book’s world. Dean offered him a mug, it was cocoa and it smelled really good. Cas bent his knees so Dean could sit down next to him. Cas put down in his nap the book.

“You can put your legs above mines, I don’t mind.” Dean said looking at Cas; he loved the looks of Cas when he got out of bed; messy hair and t-shirt wrinkled especially.

“You will be uncomfortable.” Cas said before sipping the cocoa.

Dean rolled his eyes and took Cas’ legs and put them on his, then he started to caress one. “You can’t sleep?” He asked staring at Cas; he shook his head.

“I was reading, hoping that I would feel sleepy shortly, but—” He sighed.

Dean looked at the book. “ _Hamlet_. I read that in high school. I really liked it.” He raised his eyebrows and then he took a drink of cocoa.

“How are you awake too?” Cas asked curious.

“Bed was starting to get a bit cold and when I turned around to hug you, you weren’t there. I supposed you would be awake.” His hand was moving along Cas’ leg, feeling the hairy leg beneath his hand and Cas giggled; he was too ticklish. Dean smirked when he saw that he was tickling Cas. “You are so ticklish.” His voice showed happiness.

Cas giggled a little bit more. “Stop.” He demanded between sniggering, but Dean didn’t stop, he kept stroking Cas’ leg and Cas chortled. Dean was so delicate with the strokes but he was tickling Cas quite much, so Cas started to shake his leg so Dean couldn’t tickle him, but Dean grabbed both of his legs and tightened them strongly, so Cas couldn’t move them. Cas squeezed his nose and gave up. “I hate you.” He grimaced.

“No, you don’t.” His made a half smile. Cas smiled shyly and sipped his cocoa. Dean kept caressing Cas’ leg. “Why are you awake?”

“You know why I am awake.” He answered in a sigh. Dean knew perfectly what Cas was referring to. “I hate all of this.”

Dean looked down, sadly. “Yeah, me too.” He took a sip. There was a long silence. Both were looking down and feeling sad. “Cas—” Dean started to say. Cas raised his sight to see Dean, who turned his face to meet Cas’ eyes. “You told me the other day that you wanted to grow old with me.” He said. Cas nodded. “You really meant it?”

“Of course I did.” Cas said confused; he didn’t understand why Dean had a doubt about it. Dean smiled shyly. “Why do you ask it?”

“Because I wanted to know that you meant it.” He took a deep breath and looked up. “What else do you want?” He looked at Cas.

Cas made a thoughtful grimace. “I want to wake up every morning next to you and cuddle or have morning sex.” Both smiled naughtily with that. “I want to travel with you to amazing places. I want to hunt with you. I want to watch hundreds of movies in this sofa and fight for the popcorn.” His smile got wider with that. “I want to find you in the kitchen and watch how you cook and then, once you see me, I want you to kiss me and hug me.” He made a pause. “I want to take walks with you. I want to make you laugh and smile. And a lot of more things.”

Dean looked down and smiled. “You are so cheesy.” Cas shook one of his legs to hit him in the stomach, but in a soft way, he didn’t want to hurt Dean, who chuckled with the kick and then, he looked at Cas. “But I want all those things too.” 

Cas opened his mouth and looked with glassy eyes at Dean. “Dean—”

“Just don’t say anything Cas.” He said in a serious voice.

Cas didn’t say anything, he just bended his thorax and grabbed Dean’s t-shirt to bring him closer and Cas kissed Dean sweetly. Dean almost fell over Cas because he pulled Dean quite fast and bit strongly too. There was a small taste of sadness in that kiss; nevertheless, it was still a great kiss. When Dean and Cas kissed for the first time, it was an awkward kiss at first, because Cas was in shock; Dean was kissing him and he didn’t know what to do, but then, that kiss was great, and the more they kissed, the better Cas kissed, and Dean thought that all Cas’ kisses where the best ones. No mattered if they were sweet or passionate, all his kisses were perfect.

Their mouths pulled away and they stared at each other’s eyes, those eyes that lost the bright shine of happiness a few days ago to make way for the sadness, and still for that, Cas loved how Dean’s eyes looked, and Dean loved how Cas’ eyes looked.  
Dean sighed and left the empty mug in the table that was in front of the sofa, Cas gave his too, it was empty as well. Then Dean looked at Cas’ legs so he started to stroke one of them again. Cas reclined his back over the armrest and looked down. He wanted both of them to not feel too sad, but it was hard. Sometimes happiness came back to them for some moments, but then again, reality hit them and all the sadness and frustration came back to them.

“Do you like my legs?” Cas asked after some minutes in silence. Dean didn’t stop stroking his leg.

“I do.” Dean said with a smirk. He looked at Cas’ face. “Although I like much more your thighs.” His hand went up to the thigh and caressed it gently. Cas shivered. When Dean touched his thighs and went almost his crotch, Cas felt extremely good, he couldn’t resist that touch. Cas bit his lower lip. “I know how much you like this.” Dean said with a sexy voice.

“Well, at least now you are doing it while we are alone.” Cas said with a naughty face.

Dean smiled in a rogue way. Then, he started to move his middle and index finger, as if they were walking down Cas’ leg. “You have got long legs.” He said as his fingers walked along the leg.

Cas laughed. “You are an assbutt.” He said between laughs.

Dean laughed in a guilty way. Of course he was an assbutt, he was always an assbutt when he was with Cas, but Cas was the only person he could be an assbutt with. Cas kept laughing when Dean’s fingers were walking up. It was a funny thing, but he liked it. Then, Dean’s fingers moved towards Cas’ hip, walking slowly and with short steps; Dean had to approach his body a little bit to Cas’. Dean’s fingers kept walking; now they were in the neck, so Dean could feel Cas’ skin beneath his fingertips. Cas laughed and squeezed his nose. Finally, Dean’s fingers arrived Cas’ face and Dean hit Cas’ nose softly with his index finger. Cas smiled widely, narrowing his eyes, showing the soft crinkles that appeared every time he smiled widely.

“How about we go to bed and try to sleep?” Dean asked.

Cas sighed. “I’m not sleepy. You can go if you need to sleep.”

Dean made a soft glare. “You should sleep.”

“I know, but—”

“No buts.” Dean said very serious.

“Dean, go to bed alone.” He rolled his eyes and picked up the book; he shrank his legs so Dean could stand up. He knew that if he went to bed he would only turn around and he would disturb Dean’s sleep. Dean stood up and took the book away from Cas, who gave him an angry and confused look. Dean put the book in the table that was in front of the sofa and took Cas in his arms. “Dean! What are you doing?!” Cas shouted.

“Sssshhh.” Dean said annoyed. “Sam and Kevin are sleeping, don’t shout.” He whispered. He grabbed tightly Cas so he couldn’t fall down.

“Dean, what are you doing?” Cas whispered in an angry voice.

“You say you aren’t going to bed, so I’m carrying you to bed.” He answered. Dean tightened Cas a little more. Cas was being held by his waist by one of Dean’s hands while the other one was beneath his knees, so Cas’ legs where hanging. “You know, you should hold yourself by embracing my neck.” He recommended.

“Are you being serious about this?”

“Yeah.”

“You are insane.” He glared Dean.

“Don’t act like a baby.”

“Don’t call me baby! I am not a baby!” He hated when Dean called him baby.

“Like it or not, I’m carrying to bed like this. I’m not going to let you spent the whole night in a cold sofa until you fall asleep.” Dean said sharply. Cas could have shaken his body in order to get away from Dean’s arms or something like that, but instead, he made an angry face and embraced Dean’s neck.

“I hate you.” He said pissed off.

“No, you don’t.” His voice was sweet but still sharp. Cas made a tired and annoying smile and Dean started to walk with him in his arms. He switched off the lights. “Don’t tell me that you don’t like this.”

“What? Carrying me like I was a baby that can’t walk?” Cas said sassy.

Dean took a deep breath. “Then, I will put you back on the floor and I’ll push you to bed.” He seemed that he was going to do it.

“No.” Cas murmured.

“Sorry, what?” There was a note of satisfaction in his voice. He knew that despite of being pissed off with Dean for carrying like that, Cas was enjoying it. “Can you repeat that?”

Cas made an angry grimace and looked away from Dean’s eyes. “No. I want you to keep carrying me to bed like this.”

Dean smirked and kept walking. “You like it.”

“Shut up Dean.”

“You like it.” Dean said again with scabies. Cas tried to ignore him. “You like it.” He whispered in Cas’ ear.

Cas shivered and looked at Dean. “Stop that.”

“Fine.” He sighed. Then he pressed a soft kiss in Cas’ cheek.

“Assbutt.” He said smiling, and then he approached Dean’s mouth to his and kissed him. Dean had to stop walking because if he kept walking during the kiss, he was sure that both of them would fall or at least, he would get Cas hit by not looking where he was walking through. When Cas pulled away, he rested his head in Dean’s shoulder and Dean kept walking towards their bedroom. Cas really liked when those strong arms protected him and carried him, he felt that nothing bad could happen to him when he was embraced by Dean. He was going to miss being in those arms too much.


	28. Chapter 28

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick chapter, I hope you like it! And as always, thanks for the kudos, the subscriptions, the bookmarks, the comments and of course, for reading.

“Dean, I’m not sure about this.” Cas said insecure.

Dean stood in front of Cas; he took his hands and he tangled their fingers. “Don’t worry Cas, I hold you.”

They were outside the bunker. It was still August, but temperatures were starting to get lower. Dean was with three clothes of layers; a t-shirt, a shirt and cotton summer jacket, enough to fight the soft cold. Cas was wearing the same number of layers and the same ones, except from the jacket, that it was his black synthetic leather jacket, the one that Dean told him to bought because he looked too handsome with it. That afternoon, Dean decided that Cas should learn how to skate. The skates had two wheels in each side, the better ones to start with, because inline skates required too much equilibrium and he didn’t want Cas to broke his ass or something worse.

Although Dean told Cas it was quite easy, Cas wasn’t sure about it. He never skated before and those wheels were too slippery. He saw Dean skating a few before he told Cas to start; it seemed to be not so difficult, but Cas wasn’t sure about it. If he was still an angel he would have rolled without any problem, but now he was human, and falls hurt him a bit; he didn’t want to break a bone or something.

Cas took a deep breath. “Okay.” Cas said nervous.

Dean pulled Cas softly and they started rolling. Cas’ face showed a bit of fear when he almost tripped over. “Take it easy Cas.” Dean said and tightened Cas’ hands more.

“I don’t see the joy in this.” He said fiercely.

Dean rolled his eyes. “It will be fun once you learn, Cas.” His voice was calm and warm. Cas looked at Dean’s eyes. “We all have to learn.”

Cas nodded. Dean was right. He couldn’t expect to learn something in just a few seconds. It wasn’t like that. He would have to learn slowly, and before he could do it perfectly, he would have to fall a lot of times. But meanwhile, Dean wasn’t going to let him fall down. “Just do it slow Dean, this is very slippery.”

“Okay.” Dean rolled both of them slower. “This speed is good?” He asked rising both of his browns and looking at Cas.

“Yes.”

Cas was looking at his feet and Dean’s. He was still nervous, but not as much as in the beginning; Dean helped him to calm down a little bit. Dean rolled a bit faster, not much. Cas made a little shout when he felt about to fall, but he didn’t fall. He looked at Dean surprised and Dean made a tender smile.

“Good.” Dean said and he stopped. He released one of his hands from Cas’ and stood next to Cas, holding one of his hands. “Now I’ll only hold you with one hand, you ready?” He gave Cas a concerned look. Cas was doing it quite well, but he saw that Cas was feeling a bit insecure.

“No, but I want to try it.” Cas said with decision. Dean made a proud smile.

Dean started to roll slowly and pulled Cas, that this time tried to roll by himself, without releasing Dean’s hand. At first he was good, but after some minutes, he lost equilibrium a bit and almost fell, but Dean prevented it.

“Damn it.” Cas said.

“C’mon Cas, you were doing it great!” Dean said with a wide smile. Cas blushed. He couldn’t believe that Dean thought that, he was doing it terrible. “Let’s try it again, okay?” Cas nodded.

They started again, slowly at first until Cas felt quite self-secure and rolled by himself. He was starting to get used to it slowly, but he was still holding Dean’s hand. The hunter was looking at Cas, seeing how he looked at his feet and rolled a bit faster as minutes passed. After a while, Cas looked ahead and smiled, because he was skating, helped by Dean, but he was skating.

“You are doing it awesome Cas!” Dean exclaimed enthusiastically. Cas laughed as he kept skating happily. After a while, Dean stopped both of them and released his hand from Cas, who glared him. Cas didn’t want to skate without Dean’s hand holding him. “Try it without any backing.”

“Dean, I can’t—”

“Don’t be stupid Cas! Of course you can!” He said proudly. Cas looked down and smiled shyly. “I’ll skate next to you. If I see that you are about to fall, I’ll caught you, but you have to skate without holding my hand.”  
Cas took a deep breath. “You overrate me.” He said raising his brows and shaking his head.

“I don’t.”

Cas saw that Dean really meant that and made a tiny smile. Cas moved his legs slowly and rolled by himself. Dean was standing next to him, rolling too, looking carefully at him, but Cas was skating perfectly, of course he was skating slowly, but he wasn’t trembling or shaking. Dean was surprised how fast Cas learnt, he thought that maybe Cas was going to be a bit clumsy, but he wasn’t it at all. Now Cas was skating a bit faster, feeling how the air ran through his hair and hit gently his body, getting thought the clothes. He was about to fall in a moment, but before Dean could catch him, he was able to keep skating, so Dean looked at him even more surprised; Cas couldn’t believe that he didn’t fall after all either.

Cas slowed down until he stopped. “Dean, I want to try skating without you next to me.” Cas said. “Not because I don’t want you next to me” He added hurriedly. He thought that what he said could be misunderstood.

“Cas, I understood what you meant.” Dean said laughing. Cas breathed relieved. “You sure about that?” He asked concerned. Cas nodded. “All right.” Dean moved away from Cas, leaving a long distance between them. “Be careful.” He said putting his hands inside his jacket’s pockets.

Cas nodded and started skating without Dean next to him to catch him if he fell. Dean watched how Cas skated. He was sure that Cas wouldn’t fall, however, he was a bit scare that he would fall. But Cas was really self-secure. He sometimes shook a bit, but he stood right again quickly. The more he skated the faster he get. He looked great skating. Dean loved how the air messed Cas’ hair and how badass he looked with his leather jacket and his broken jeans, but what Dean loved most was the fact that Cas was smiling happily and laughing; that what’s the best.

“Dean, I’m skating by myself!” Cas exclaimed laughing.

Dean started to laugh. “You are doing fucking awesome Cas!” Dean cheered up.

Cas was skating now towards Dean, but he didn’t know how to stop; he was skating too fast, and when he realized he couldn’t stop, he fall over Dean and both of them fall down. “Dean!” Cas yelled worried. The sound of the fall was quite noisy; he was afraid that he hurt Dean. “Dean! Are you all right?!” He asked scared.

Dean made a whine. “Yeah, I’m fine.” He answered looking at Cas, who was laying above him. Then, he started to laugh.

“Dean! It’s not funny! I could have hurt you!” He said angrily. Dean kissed him passionately. He placed his fingers in Cas’ hair and opened his mouth to get his tongue in Cas’ mouth. Cas didn’t understand why Dean was doing that, but he just kissed him back and twisted his tongue with Dean’s. “You are freaking insane Dean.” Cas said when they pulled away.

“I know.” He laughed louder. “Next time try to slow down so you could stop.”

“Yes, I know. I am so sorry Dean, I didn’t want to fall over you.” He said sadly and pressed a short kiss in Dean’s lips.

“Don’t worry Cas.” Dean stroked Cas’ cheek gently. “How about we kept skating together?”

“That sounds good.” Cas stood up and helped Dean to stand up.

They kept the whole afternoon skating and laughing. There were times when Dean caught Cas’ hands and they twirled and they laughed. Also, Dean liked to race Cas, but Dean was the one who won, because he was faster than Cas and he got more experience, but Cas didn’t give up and tried to beat him. The rest of the time they just skated holding their hands and tried to skate as fast as they could. There were a few times where Cas almost fell, but Dean grabbed him tightly and Cas didn’t fall. He kissed Dean after helping him not to fall down.

Time for make dinner arrived, so Dean and Cas went inside the bunker and saved the skates, then Dean went to the kitchen to prepare dinner. He wasn’t going to do anything special, just some fish and a salad, because Sam wanted it. Sam insisted of eating healthier, that they should eat more fish and vegetables, and Cas agreed with Dean’s little brother, so Dean, who wasn’t a big fan of fish and vegetables, had to put up with that and cook. He knew that Cas and Sam were right, so he just accepted it; he wasn’t in a mood to argue about food. Sometimes it was nice to eat different things, although it had to be rabbit food.

Cas came to the kitchen to set the table. Dean was salting the fish. Cas made a soft smile. He knew that Dean didn’t like too much fish, but he was preparing it for dinner because he and Sam told him to. Dean always did a lot of things for them even if Dean didn’t like it. Sometimes Cas thought that he was too lucky for having Dean. He remembered that in a few weeks he would have to leave and shook his head; Cas didn’t want to think about it in that moment. He approached Dean and kissed his nape. Dean smiled widely.

“You aren’t going to enjoy this dinner too much.” Cas said leaning his chin in Dean’s shoulder.

“Yeah, but it’s healthy.” Dean grimaced.

Cas gave him a wet kiss in the neck. Dean shivered a little; Cas was so gentle with his neck. “You know what?” Cas started to say. Dean moved his eyes away from the fish to stare at Cas’ eyes. “We could have sex after dinner so I can reward you from falling over you and making you cook fish.” He suggested with a sexy voice.

Dean’s smile got wider and he raised his eyebrows. “That’s a great idea.” He said really happy. Cas squeezed his nose as he smiled, after that, Dean kissed him sweetly and when they parted, Cas kept setting the table and Dean kept making dinner.

 

They were already naked. Cas was laying in the bed and Dean was above him. Dean was licking Cas’ nipple with passion. Cas had his hands in Dean’s hair and he was moaning softly when Dean bit his nipple gently. Dean was stroking Cas’ thighs as his mouth worked on Cas’ nipple. Their cocks were already hard. Then, someone knocked the door. Dean and Cas ignored it, they were busy in that moment, but that person knocked the door again.

“Dean, open the door.” Sam said.

Dean moved his mouth away from Cas nipple and took a deep breath. “What?!” Dean shouted annoyed. Cas looked at Dean confused.

“Dean, it’s important. Open the door.”

Dean snorted. He stood up from bed. “Cas, stand behind me. I don’t want Sam to see you naked.” Cas nodded and followed Dean, who was standing in front of the door. Cas was really turned on and he couldn’t wait to fuck with Dean, but he stood behind Dean, hiding himself from Sam’s view. Dean opened a bit the door, so Sam could see Dean’s face, his shoulder and part of his chest. “What is it Sam?” He asked pissed off.

Sam looked at his brother and saw that he was naked, although the door was hiding most of Dean’s body. “Oh crap— I—”

“Sam, we are pretty busy here, would you please tell me what do you want?” He demanded. Then, Dean let out a small groan; Cas had pinched his butt and now he was giggling. Dean blushed and looked at his brother, whose eyes were wide opened.

“Eh— well.” Sam started to say as nothing happened before. “I need to do that potion or whatever you want to call it for getting the angels back to heaven, because I had to mix all the ingredients in the midnight of the half-moon and—”

“Yeah, yeah, I know all that crap.” He interrupted hurriedly. “Get to the point.”

“Okay.” Sam started to search in his jean’s pockets something. He picked up two small tubes with blood in it. “Which one is—”

“Cas, stop!” Dean interrupted again. Cas was kissing his neck and was caressing Dean’s nipple, the one that Sam couldn’t see. Dean was extremely red. He knew that Cas was taking revenge from the night that Dean decided to stroke Cas’ thigh and crotch discretely in front of Sam and Kevin without being noticed; but also Cas was really turned on and Dean was naked, so he couldn’t resist to kiss him and to touch him.

Sam grimaced. “I don’t even know what I was going to say.” He said confused.

Dean let out a soft moan. Cas was biting his earlobe gently and Dean blushed a lot. Sam giggled when he saw the expression in his brother’s face. “Damn it Cas! My brother is right here! Stop!” He yelled embarrassed and pissed off.

Cas embraced Dean’s waist and moved his head to rest his chin in Dean’s shoulder to see Sam. “Hello Sam.” Cas said with a sweet smile.

“Hi Cas.” Sam chuckled. Cas was with messy hair and with red cheeks, but not as much as Dean. It was quite uncomfortable, but Sam was enjoying seeing his brother so embarrassed.

“Can we please finish this?” Dean said. Cas pinched his belly and Dean glared him while Cas giggled and then, he kissed his freckled shoulder.

“Sure. I need to know which one of these is older. You didn’t label them.” Sam said showing the glass tubes.

“The one with the blue cap.” Dean said.

“Sure?”

“Yes, we didn’t have more red caps so I used the blue ones.” He took a deep breath. “Anything else?”

“Yes, this is a question for Cas.” Sam said. He saved the blood tubes in his pockets and took three ferns. Cas looked at them. “Which one is from the common fern?”

Cas picked the fens and looked at them carefully. “This one.” Cas said picking the common fern.

“Thank you.” Sam picked it and saved it in his pocket. “Okay, you can keep doing— well, you know.” He said chuckling.

Dean closed quickly the door and turned to face Cas, who throw himself to Dean’s mouth really fast, that Dean was pushed against the door. Sam could hear them and let of a funny breath. They looked like a couple of horny teenagers. Cas was desperate to kiss Dean, he wanted to have sex with him immediately and Dean noticed it.

“You were doing all of that as a revenge for the thigh thing right?” Dean asked when they were no longer kissing.

Cas nodded. “Mainly yes. But also because I am horny.” His voice was passionate and that turned Dean a lot. He was surprised by the fact that Cas knew the word _horny_ , but in that moment, he wasn’t going to talk about it. He just grabbed Cas’ thighs and raised Cas, who embraced Dean’s neck and laughed, then Dean carried Cas to bed and he laid him in the mattress, so they could go on where they left.

The sex was passionate, needy and spirited. They tried to hold their hands every time they could. They moaned loudly each other’s name when they felt the other one inside. They tried to keep their eyes opened so they could see each other’s eyes. They shuddered with every penetration. They kissed between moans. They sucked, licked and bit softly their necks. They ran his hands from their hair to their legs. They panted when the sensation was too much. They nailed in their backs when the moans and orgasms couldn’t show all the pleasure. They tightened their fingers when their backs arched. They fucked each other so they could hear the other one scream one more time their name loudly. They whined when they felt that the other one wasn’t inside them anymore. And they whispered a sweet I love you when they were done.


	29. Chapter 29

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I wanted to update earlier, but I was busy studying. I hope you will like it.  
> Thanks for the kudos, the bookmarks, the subscriptions, the comments and of course, for reading :)

Days passed and Cas’ time to go was almost there. September was about to arrive, there were already some leaves changing their colors and there were others that were falling from the trees. The brightness and happiness from the spring and the summer were about to leave and they wouldn’t appear again until the end of March, when trees and flowers started to recover their colors and their happiness, until life came back. Autumn dyed them in beautiful colors like red, yellow and orange; the last beauty that remained before the winter took over and took away all that beauty for a long time. But everything had an end. It always had an end. Dean knew it well and Cas too. Those weeks they watched movies, they took walks, they took a bath in the river all naked and they had sex there, they had dinner outside some days, they had a lot of sex, they seeped in a rock concert, they drove on the Impala to wonderful places… They did a lot of things in those weeks, but Dean wanted to do a lot of more things, but they didn’t have time for anything else; he wasn’t sure if they would ever have time together again. As days passed, Dean was more certain that Cas wasn’t going to make it back to him. He knew that Cas wouldn’t stop until he found a way out, but Dean knew that getting out of heaven wasn’t a simple thing, it was one of the hardest things to do, but Cas was convinced that he would come back to Dean, and Dean wasn’t going to change his mind.

They had dinner in that 50’s dinner that they liked a lot. Chicken tenders, fries with bacon and cheese, two hamburgers and a milk shake were the things they ordered, and of course pie for dessert, Dean couldn’t leave that place without eating the wonderful pie. Cas ordered pie too, but mostly for Dean, because as always, he gave Dean a bit of his pie and when Cas finished eating it, he sipped his finger in the jam so Dean could licked it. He knew how much Dean liked that; Cas plus pie was the best combination for Dean.

When they finished having dinner, Dean drove them to an esplanade, where they could park the Impala. That was the last thing he wanted to do with Cas, to sit in the hood of the Impala and watch the stars, like he sometimes did with Sam. That was their penultimate night together, tomorrow would be the last one, and the next night, they would have to do the spell and Cas would be gone. The more Dean thought about it, the more it hurt. He couldn’t believe how fast time passed; he could still remember when Cas knocked at the bunker’s door and Dean found him. Cas was tired and exhausted and Dean was a bit angry with him from everything, and then, after several days, everything seemed to be good again, they were friends again and they started to sleep in the same bed, because it was the only way they could sleep, then they started to get closer until Dean kissed Cas. They made out a lot of nights, and then they got beyond that, until the night when they had that awful argument and they had sex. He could still remember when Cas told him I love you. All the things they did together and all the moments they shared. Everything passed really fast.

They got out from the Impala and sat down in the hood. The night was a bit cold, but with a jacket and a t-shirt could be fought. Cas was wearing jeans, a grey t-shirt and his synthetic leather jacket, he was becoming fond of it; every time that refreshed, he put it on, and Dean loved it. Dean was wearing jeans, one of his long leather jackets, a dark green shirt, and a black t-shirt. They kind of looked like members from a hard rock band. They were sitting really close to each other; just a few inches were between them. It was a lovely night; the sky didn’t have any clouds on it, so stars could be perfectly seen; they shone brightly and made the night sky look marvelous.

“Have you ever been near a star Cas?” Dean wondered curious.

Cas half-closed his eyes and looked at Dean. “How am I going to be near a star?” Cas was really confused about that question.

“I don’t know. Maybe when you were an angel you could see the stars really close.” He sounded so innocent.

“No.” A sweet smile appeared in his face. “We can’t do that. Although I wished we could.” He sighed. Cas approached himself to Dean a bit more and held his hand. Dean tangled his fingers with Cas’.

“I’d like to see space.”

“You are scared of planes; I don’t think you will be able to get in a rocket.” Cas laughed. Dean glared him. Cas gave him a soft and sweet kiss. “Don’t look at me like that. I have just told you the truth.”

“I wasn’t talking about seeing space in that deadly metal thing.” He said annoyed. Cas made a funny smile. “I would like to see space in a safe thing. I don’t know in what exactly.” He grimaced. Cas laughed. He loved when Dean said those stupid things. “You are laughing at me.”

“Yes I am. I am not going to lie to you.”

Dean punched Cas’ arm. “Asshole.” He said rolling his eyes. Then, he looked at the sky again.

Cas rested his head in Dean’s shoulder and looked at the sky too. “I’m your favorite asshole.” He said in a lovely voice. Dean smiled and kissed Cas’ head. “Do you know that humans are made of stars?”

“Isn’t that a quote that hipsters say on the internet?” He grimaced.  
“I don’t know what a hipster is.” He said bewildered.

Dean couldn’t help a smile. After all this time together, there were a lot of things that Cas still didn’t know about the human world. “Never mind Cas. How can we be made of stars?”

“When a star is about to die, it starts to grow up until it explodes, and all the materials that it was made of, travel through the galaxy until it finds more and becomes slowly a planet or a star.”

“I didn’t know that.”

“You are the greatest star of all of them.” Cas said moving his sight to point at the sky.  
“Don’t go cheesy Cas.” He said with a grimace and rolling his eyes.

Cas made a tiny laugh. “My apologies. But I like to tell you things like that sometimes.” He tightened Dean’s hand.

“I know.”

They kept watching the starry night. Moon was almost full. The fireflies broke the silence with their chirp and an owl hooted. They could hear their soft and calm breaths. They didn’t need to talk, they liked looking at the stars without saying a word, just admiring the beauty of the night with all their senses, while they were sitting together, holding their hands, feeling the warmth of their bodies and pressing soft kisses occasionally, wishing that the night didn’t end, that time could be stopped so they could be a little bit more together. But they couldn’t do that. A tear fell from Dean when he thought that; he tried to hold it, but he couldn’t. He took a deep breath.

“Dean—” Cas said raising his head. He looked at Dean and saw the tear’s trail. He removed it with his thumb and then, he cupped Dean’s face. “Dean, don’t cry.”

“It was just a tear Cas.” Dean said as if it didn’t matter. Cas made a sad face and kissed him. Dean kissed Cas like he wanted to take all the air that were in Cas’ lungs. They kissed in a needy way. When they pulled away, Dean was panting a little bit. Cas caressed Dean’s face. “I don’t know what I’m going to do without you.” He said with a sad smile. Cas felt as if his heart was being punched when he heard that.

“Dean—” His voice was broken. Cas didn’t know what he was going to do without Dean, but he didn’t want to think about it. He didn’t want Dean to think about it. He was afraid that Dean was going to end up in a bad way while Cas was in heaven, trying to find a way out, if he found it. A bad feeling ran through Cas’ body. What if he couldn’t go back? Dean would be waiting his whole life for him and Cas would be locked in heaven, knowing that Dean was destroyed because they weren’t together. That idea scared Cas more than anything.

Dean kissed him again, in a needy and frustrated way and hold Cas in his arms. Cas fisted Dean’s t-shirt while they were kissing. Their mouths were getting warmer and wetter. Their noses were squeezed and their jaws collided a few times. They stopped kissing, but their lips were still touching. Their eyes were half-closed but they could see each other perfectly. No one of them wanted to stay away from each other. 

“I don’t want you to go. For the first time in my life I don’t want to save all the people. I want you.” Dean said frustrated.

Cas sighed. “Dean, we have been over this.”

“I know Cas. But I’m not a hero.” He said disgusted.

Cas cupped Dean’s face and looked at his eyes fiercely. “You are a hero to me.” Dean opened his eyes widely. Cas couldn’t talk seriously. Dean didn’t know what to say. “You don’t consider yourself a hero, you don’t consider yourself a lot of things Dean, you always hate yourself. You are extraordinary Dean, and I’m not saying it only because I’m in love with you; I have always thought that you were extraordinary; you have showed me that over and over again. You are a hero Dean, you are the best person I have ever met. You always do things for people without asking anything in return, you always help who needs to be helped, you take care of everyone, you made me a better person. You are great Dean. Don’t ever let anyone tell you different.” Cas said with strength in his voice. Dean’s heart stopped for a few seconds. Cas was being serious about all of that, he really meant every single word. Dean looked at him unbelieving what Cas had said to him. “Save everyone Dean. You are the righteous man. You are a hero. You are Dean Winchester.”

Dean kissed him passionately in that moment. Words couldn’t come out of his mouth, so he needed to show Cas what he felt about those words in a kiss. Nobody ever told him something like that and Dean felt a warm feeling inside him. Cas closed his eyes and kissed Dean back, holding Dean’s face in his hands. “I think you are crazy if you think that.” He said breathy.

Cas made a tiny smile. “I do think all of that, Dean.”

Dean took a deep breath and placed his forehead in Cas’. “I don’t want to do it.”

“I know. But you have to.” He sighed.

“You told me I couldn’t save everyone.”

Cas looked down. “I know. Once again, I am the one you can’t save.” No mattered when or how, it was always the same history; Dean couldn’t save Cas. No mattered how hard he tried or what he did, Cas couldn’t be saved, something bad always happened to him and things fucked up, leaving Cas and Dean all by themselves, wishing that they could be together. “But it’s better to save the whole world than a graceless angel.”

“No, it isn’t.” Dean said firmly. Cas looked up. “The whole world is nothing compared to you.”

Cas couldn’t help a smile. “Now you are the cheesy one.”

Dean bit his lower lip and made a guilty grin. “Yeah, well.” He blushed a bit.

“That was pretty nice, Dean.” Cas gave him a short sweet kiss.

“I love you so fucking much Cas.” He said with a small smile.

“I love you too Dean. Too much.”

Dean kissed Cas. “Let’s keep looking at the sky and try to forget all this crap.” He said in a breath. Cas nodded.

Silence was again with them, only interrupted by the sounds of the nature, Dean and Cas’ breathings and the sound of the small kisses they gave to each other. They looked at the sky one more time, for hours, without saying anything at all, being embraced and holding hands. Spending the last hours they had together and feeling so small before the vastness of the starry sky.


	30. Chapter 30

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Enjoy the chapter, I really like this, although maybe there are some parts too cheesy. Anyway, enjoy it.  
> Thanks for the kudos, the subscriptions, the bookmarks and for reading, of course!

Their last night together arrived and they were extremely sad, but they wanted to have sex; it was the best way to spend Cas’ last night on Earth. When they finished dinner and cleared the table, Dean took Cas’ hand and they walked to their bedroom. Sam offered to wash the dishes with Kevin, because he knew that Dean and Cas wanted to spent the whole night together, it was their last night together, and Sam wanted to leave them alone so they could enjoy that night as much as they could.

Dean closed the door and started kissing Cas. It was a sad kiss. Dean cupped Cas’ jaw and Cas embraced Dean’s waist. They wanted to taste their lips, trying to know with their mouths every part of it, so they could remember their mouths when they weren’t together anymore. Cas took a deep and needy breath when their mouths parted and he looked at Dean’s eyes. His hands ascended and ended up in Dean’s face. Dean was too beautiful that night, despite of the sadness. Cas closed his eyes slowly and approached Dean’s mouth and kissed him. He didn’t want to forget those perfect lips. Dean opened his mouth and let Cas to get his tongue inside Dean’s mouth. Their mouths were warm and wet, it was very heartwarming; they kissed as if they wanted to ran out of air, as if they wanted to leave their lungs empty. For a few seconds they pulled away, living a few inches between their mouths, and then, they kissed again. Dean ran his fingers through Cas’ hair and Cas gripped tightly Dean’s nape. They moved their mouths fiercely, Dean could feel Cas’ stubble grazing his face, but it was a nice feeling. He liked Cas’ stubble.

Cas moved his mouth away from Dean’s and took a breath. Then, he bit his lower lip, staring at Dean’s eyes with desire. Cas started to walk backwards, pulling softly Dean to bed. Cas lay in the mattress and Dean lay over Cas. The hunter kissed Cas fervently and when he stopped, he took off Cas’ boots and socks, and after that, he took off his. Dean went back to Cas’ mouth and gave him a dirty kiss. Their tongues swirled together. Dean was about to pull away, but Cas pushed Dean; he didn’t want Dean’s tongue away from him too soon. When they parted their mouths, Dean was holding between his lips Cas’ lower lip, then, he released it and Cas made a soft smile. Dean’s hands took off Cas’ shirt and t-shirt. Cas did the same with Dean’s. When their chests were naked, Dean leaned and started to press sweet and wet kisses from Cas’ belly to Cas’ mouth, going up slowly. Cas shuddered and bit his lip until Dean’s mouth was in his. Cas’ hands cupped Dean’s face and went down to find Dean’s jeans. He looked at them and with a simple movement, he unbuttoned them and unzipped them, taking them off easily. One of Cas’ hand caressed Dean’s crotch and then he squeezed gently Dean’s cock, making Dean to let out a sweet moan. Dean looked at Cas with passion and took Cas’ pants quickly. He kissed Cas again and they swirled their tongues before they took off their boxers. They were completely naked. Cas had his mouth opened and he was breathing quite fast, excited. Dean started to suck Cas’ neck and Cas’ body shook slowly. He placed his hand in Dean’s hair as he fisted the sheet with the other one. Dean bit sweetly the neck and Cas let out a low moan. Dean’s mouth went to Cas’ nipple and started to nibble it an Cas moaned louder. Their cocks got hard in that moment, but Dean kept working on Cas’ nipple, nibbling it, licking it and sucking it, until the bud was erected. Cas was letting out moans and breaths as Dean played with his nipple.

Dean looked at Cas and removed his tongue from his nipple. “Do you want me to suck it a little bit more?” Dean asked.

“Yes, please.” Cas said breathy.

Dean did it. Cas wanted to be fucked by Dean and fuck Dean, but Dean’s mouth always worked extremely good in his nipple, and in any other part of his body, that Cas could wait more for fucking. He tightened Dean’s hair and enjoyed for some more moments Dean’s tongue and teeth in his nipple, feeling how it got harder the more Dean was on it.

When Dean finished with Cas’ nipple, he kissed Cas and with his hand he searched in the drawer for the lube. He picked up the bottle the tissues’ box and parted his lips from Cas’. Dean put the lube on his hands, then Cas did the same and they applied it in their respective cocks quickly, they didn’t want to lose any second. They cleaned their hands and Dean looked at Cas.

“Ready?” Dean asked.

“I am always ready for sexual intercourse with you.” Cas answered.

Dean couldn’t help a smile. “I love when you talk me like that.” He said before kissing him.

Dean rested his hands in Cas’ waist and he raised both of them, sitting Cas in his lap and Dean was leaning his knees on the mattress. Cas embraced with his legs Dean’s hips, inviting Dean to get inside him. They looked at each other’s eyes for some seconds and then, Dean got his cock inside Cas, who moaned loudly. Dean shook his hips so he could penetrate Cas better. Cas was feeling Dean inside him, feeling how Dean’s cock moved inside him, filling his emptiness in a warm way, shaking up his body so Cas could feel him better.

“Dean— Yes, right there—” Cas moaned. “Oh Dean—!”

Dean couldn’t help a smile. He kept fucking Cas as he sucked his neck. Cas’ back arched and he tilted his head, letting Dean to taste his neck easily. He moaned Dean’s name louder when Dean’s cock moved faster and harder, nailing Dean’s head. Cas threw his head back and moaned ever louder. Cas tried to keep his eyes opened, but the feeling was too much; Dean was fucking him, he was holding his hips and shaking Cas’ body and he was sucking his neck. Dean’s cock was warm and wet and Cas could feel it inside; it was extremely good. Cas opened his eyes after a while and looked at Dean, who was still inside of him, but he wasn’t moving his cock. Cas kissed Dean in a dirty way and then, Dean got out of him, so Cas sat in the mattress and stretched his legs, inviting Dean to sit in his lap, so Dean did it. 

Most of the times they had sex they did a lot of different postures, but that night, they didn’t want that, they wanted to fuck and see each other, to look at their eyes as they fucked. It was quite hard because the pleasure was really intense and they couldn’t keep their eyes opened for a long time, nevertheless, they tried to stare at each other’s eyes whenever they could, trying to hold their gazes as much time as the pleasure allowed them..

Dean kissed Cas while Cas was placing his hands in Dean’s hips; Dean embraced Cas’ neck and then, Cas got inside Dean, so Dean had to pull his mouth away from Cas to moan. Dean tried to look at Cas’ eyes as much as he could, but when Cas’ cock touched the sensitive part inside him, he just couldn’t leave his eyes opened anymore.

“Cas, holy fuck—!” Dean moaned loudly.

Cas moved his cock quicker and Dean moaned louder. Dean felt how he was getting wetter and warmer inside. He bit his lip and arched his back. His whole body shuddered when Cas’ cock was pushed inside him. Cas was now sucking Dean’s nipple, so Dean moaned louder Cas’ name and ran his fingers extremely fast through Cas’ hair. That felt too good. Cas started to nibble the nipple and to fuck Dean harder and Dean felt how his brain sent electrical impulses to his whole body, feeling a huge pleasure in every single part of him. He opened his mouth widely to let out Cas’ name in a moan when he felt Cas’ cock inside him one more time. He searched for Cas’ mouth, which it wasn’t in his nipple in that moment, with his eyes closed and kissed him fiercely.

They stared at each other’s eyes, so green met blue one more time. Without taking their sights away, Dean pushed slowly Cas, so he could lie down in the mattress, being Dean above Cas. They held hands and tangled their fingers. Dean rubbed his cock against Cas’ and he bit his lip; then Dean kissed him, moving his tongue with Cas’. He started to shake his body and Cas embraced Dean with his legs, once Cas had Dean embraced, Dean got his cock inside Cas hardly. Cas moaned quite loud and his back arched. He half-closed his eyes, but he could still see Dean’s green eyes. He tightened strongly Dean’s hands and rocked his hips. Dean moved his body quite fast, pulling out and pushing in his cock very easily and quickly.

“DEAN!— DEAN!—” Cas moaned really loud. Dean couldn’t help a smirk.

Dean was moaning a bit too, but Cas’ moans hid his. Cas couldn’t let his eyes opened more; Dean’s cock went beyond the sensitive part and Cas’ body was surrender to Dean, feeling pleasure as Dean fucked him. Cas felt how air abandoned his lungs, how with every single touch of Dean’s cock inside him made him feel extremely good; the sudden white filled his head and the pleasure ran his whole body in an incredible way. Cas made a loud orgasm with Dean’s name, without caring if Sam or Kevin could hear him, he needed to say Dean’s name really loud. His whole body arched and Dean was still looking at him, seeing the delightful faces Cas was making. Cas was coming and it was soaking both bodies, mixing it with the sweat. He lost himself in Dean, in that perfect man who touched him in an extraordinary way, in that man who made him feel things that he never thought he could felt. Dean gave him a small kiss before Cas could moan again, and then, he pressed his cock inside Cas harder.

After a while, Cas kissed Dean in a needy and passionate way. They opened their mouths so their tongues could met, and after that, Cas rolled both of them, so Dean was now the one lying on the mattress and Cas was above Dean. 

“You sure you can keep doing this?” Dean asked arching a brow. He said it panting. Cas was exhausted and Dean could see it.

“I didn’t make you come yet.” Cas said panting too. He needed to make Dean feel what he felt a few moments ago. “I want to make you come, Dean.”

“Okay, my big man.” Dean’s smirk was bigger than ever. Then, he kissed Cas.

They looked at each other and keep holding their hands and Dean was with his legs embracing Cas’ hips. Cas kissed Dean fiercely and then, he pressed his cock inside Dean, who moaned. He still had his eyes opened, he wanted to stare at Cas as much as he could, to see those eyes looking at him with blue fire and desire. They were panting, but they needed to hold on just a few more moments. Cas was rubbing his body in Dean’s while he fucked him; Dean was moaning loud, but he moaned really loud when Cas’ cock arrived at the sensitive part and got beyond it.

“CAS! CAS! CAS—!” Dean moaned loudly.

Cas kept fucking him in a hard way, moaning a little bit and smiling with pride because Dean was moaning his name really loud. Dean closed his eyes when he felt how his whole body belonged to Cas; his back and neck curved and he tightened Cas’ hands. If he could, he would stay like that forever, feeling Cas inside him, feeling that amount of pleasure and how Cas’ cum was drenching him. Dean shook his hips up and down while Cas was still fucking him inside. Dean made an orgasm extremely loud, with Cas’ name on it, that both of them were sure that it could be heard in the whole bunker, but Dean loved saying Cas’ name in moans and in orgasms. Cas looked at Dean’s face and bit his lower lip. Dean’s face showed that he was having a lot of pleasure and it was because of Cas; he felt great with that. He fucked him a bit harder again and Dean moaned. Dean was now coming, feeling too good in that moment, being held by Cas and feeling how his graceless angel was inside him, rocking his cock, making Dean to feel more than awesome. Cas made him feel extraordinary things, things that never felt before.

Cas got his cock out of Dean, and as always, Dean made a whine; he didn’t like the emptiness and the loss of warmth he felt once Cas was no longer inside him. They were panting and exhausted; their hearts were beating really fast, it seemed that they wanted to get out from their chests. They were covered in sweat and in some parts of their bodies with cum too, and their bodies’ temperature was quite high, but they didn’t care, because they felt so alive.

Dean kissed Cas in a dirty way at first, but then, it was sweet and lovely. They looked at each other’s eyes one more time before Cas lay down in the mattress so both could recover their breaths. The silence of the room was disturbed by their pants, and the temperature in the room was quite high thanks to the warmth that their bodies were releasing in that moment. Dean picked some tissues and they cleaned themselves, then, they kept trying to recover their breathing.

Some minutes passed until their breaths were normal again. They turned their faces to see each other. That was the last time they were going to have sex and they would have to live with that awful emptiness inside them.

Dean cupped Cas’ cheek and stroked it with his thumb. He took a deep breath. He loved seeing Cas after sex, with his hair messy and with some tips of it sweaty. His cheeks were red and warm and his eyes shone in a special way. His whole body remained calmly but with a perfect beauty, and his soft and tiny smile was lovely. Dean couldn’t believe that he wasn’t going to see that again, that he wasn’t going to have Cas inside him again, that he wasn’t going to hear him moaning his name loudly, that he wasn’t going to touch Cas, that he wasn’t going to kiss him… There would be an enormous space to fill inside Dean and the empty side of the bed, waiting to be occupied by Cas again. Dean wanted to cry, his eyes were glassy, Cas could see how tears wanted to fall from Dean’s eyes, but Dean held them; it wasn’t time to cry. Cas rolled to lay aside and brought himself closer to Dean, in order to kiss him. He did it in a soft way. Dean tightened his hand while Cas rested his hand in Dean’s light brown hair.

“Stay, please.” Dean whispered needy after kissing.

Cas took a deep breath and looked down. “Dean—”

“I know, I know.” He interrupted. Cas looked at Dean’s eyes confused. “I gotta do my job, I know, I have to save the world and if I don’t do it I would regret it, but—” He sighed. “I need you.”

“I need you too, Dean.” His voice was broken. He leaned his forehead in Dean’s and sighed. He ran slowly his fingers though Dean’s hair. It was really soft. He liked the touch of Dean’s hair in his fingers.

Dean started to move his hand. He wanted to draw Cas’ curves with his hand, trying to memorize every single shape of Cas, so in the loneliest nights, he could picture him and remember Cas. He looked at his hand as it moved. He was feeling every muscle and every bone beneath his hand, touching the naked and warm skin of Cas, moving his hand slowly and delicately. “You have a wonderful body.” He said in a low voice.

Cas blushed. He knew that it wasn’t his true body, but Jimmy was gone a long time ago, when Cas draw an enochian sign in his chest and he defeated several angels. Since then, that body was all his and Cas sometimes felt as if it was his true body, if he was in another one, he would feel really weird. That was his body and he liked that. “What is the thing about my body that you like most?” He asked with a flirtatious voice.

Dean bit his lip and made a thoughtful face. “That’s a difficult question.” He said. Cas giggled softly. “I love everything about you.”

“You have to choose one.”

“Fine.” He snorted. “Your eyes.” He looked at them.

“I thought you were going to say my cock.” He said laughing and a bit perplexed.

Dean couldn’t help a laugh. “Yeah, well, that’s a great one too.” Dean made a smirk. “You have a filthy mouth Cas. I wasn’t expecting you to say the word cock.” He was really surprised about that. Cas was always so well-spoken, except when he was really angry, that when he said words like fuck or cock, Dean was surprised. Although it was normal, Dean swore a lot and Cas heard him, so it wasn’t weird that Cas sometimes swore.

Cas chuckled. “I wouldn’t say those words if you weren’t swearing all the time.” Dean made a guilty face. “Why do you like my eyes?”

“Because they are fucking gorgeous and fucking blue.” Dean started to explain as he placed his hand in Cas’ face. “I love how expressive they are, how they shine, it looks like you have a whole galaxy in them.” Dean kissed Cas in a lovely way.

“That was pretty nice Dean.” Cas said with a shy smile. “I love your eyes too. So green, so vivid, so gorgeous. They are out of this world.”

“We are so cheesy…”

Cas laughed. “You like when we go cheesy sometimes.” He nuzzled Dean’s nose. “I’m going to miss you so much.” He said breathy.

“Cas—” Dean said with a sad voice. “Just— don’t talk about it.” He said a bit annoyed. He didn’t want to remember their last night together as something sad.

“Okay.” Cas said pressing a soft kiss in Dean’s lips. He didn’t want to talk about that either, but he wanted to say a lot of things to Dean, but he knew that if he said them, they would get sad and it was better to try to enjoy that night as much as they could. Cas started to touch with his fingers every single freckle from Dean’s cheek.

“What are you doing?” He asked confused.

“Touching your freckles. I want to touch all of them.” He answered casually, focused on every single freckle.

“You are going to spend the whole night then.” He joked. Cas smiled.

Cas kept moving his fingers, trying to touch every single freckle on Dean. First, the ones in his face, then the ones in his shoulder. Dean looked with attention how Cas was walking his freckles with his fingers, rapt in them. Cas kept touring Dean’s body to touch the freckles. There were a lot, and he couldn’t reach all of them, he had to leave some of them untouched. When his fingers finished the tour, Cas kissed Dean again and pressed his body against Dean’s. When he pulled his mouth away, Cas couldn’t hold his pain anymore and buried his head in Dean’s neck, hugging him tightly and sobbing. Dean started to cry and he hugged Cas tightly too. That was what they were avoiding, but they couldn’t hold it anymore, so they just exploded. Dean buried his face in Cas’ hair while tears fell, sobbing too. Cas nailed Dean’s back and cried. They looked really bad, but they needed to vent. Dean didn’t want Cas to abandon his arms, he wanted Cas to be in the bed with him, he wanted to open his eyes every morning and see that he was still there. Cas wanted so bad to stay there, he didn’t want to leave, he wanted to stay in Dean’s arms forever. All of that was being so difficult for them.

Their sobs started to disappear slowly. Eyes hurt and were red of the amount of tears that fell from them. Cas pulled his face away from Dean’s neck slowly. There were tears in Cas’ face. “Oh Dean, I— I didn’t— I couldn’t stop crying— I am sorry for spoiling the moment.” Cas said with small sobs.

“We made an awful picture.” Dean joked with tears too. Cas let out a small laugh. “Being in love hurts, right?” He said with a grimace.

“Yes.” He sighed. He removed the tears from his face and then the ones Dean had. “Being in love with you it’s great, but sometimes it hurts a lot.” He said as he removed Dean’s tears.

Dean put one of his hands and caressed Cas’ hair, messing it. Cas tangled his legs with Dean’s and moved closed to Dean, leaving a few inches between their lips. “You know—” Dean started to say. He looked up. He cried enough, he didn’t want to cry again. “You are the best thing that ever happened to me Cas.”

Cas looked at Dean’s eyes in a tender way. “You are the best thing that ever happened to me too.” He kissed Dean. “My love.” Cas said with a lovely voice. Dean looked at Cas astonished. _My love_. That’s what Cas called him. “My love.” Cas repeated again and pressed a sweet and wet kiss in Dean’s lips. Dean was melting down. Dean was Cas’ love. “My Dean. My love.” He said with sweetness. Dean loved how it sounded. Dean always thought that when somebody said my love, it sounded really cheesy, but it didn’t sound like it when Cas said it. It sounded perfect in Cas’ voice.

“Say it again, Cas, please.” He requested nuzzling Cas’ face and closing his eyes.

Cas touched Dean’s lips with his and then he whispered. “My love.”

Dean shuddered with those words. “I’m your love.” He nuzzled again Cas’ face and Cas closed his eyes. “You are my love, Castiel.”

Cas swooped Dean’s mouth and kissed him in a desperate and needy way. He was Dean’s love and Dean was his love. It would always be like that. He belonged to Dean and Dean belonged to Cas. It had always been like that. Their bodies shook as they kissed, their tongues touched and they kissed until they ran out of oxygen, parting their mouths with a needy breath. They closed their eyes and Dean rested his forehead in Cas’. They hugged each other, leaving no space between their bodies. Feeling for the last time how it was to feel each other’s body in their arms, the warmth of them, the touch of their skins, feeling their hearts beating, breathing together, falling asleep without stopping hugging. Feeling home when they were together. Cas’ home was always heaven, but that changed when he met Dean, and Dean never had a home, now the bunker was it. The bunker was their home, their last home. They were going to feel really alone when Cas was gone, when he wasn’t with Dean for no longer. That was their last night together in that bed. That bed had a lot of memories from them. The memory foam wouldn’t erase at all Cas’ body from it. Dean tightened Cas even more and Cas did it too, as if with that, they didn’t have to say goodbye.


	31. Chapter 31

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the penultimate chapter, I'm a bit sad becuase it is ending, but all things must end.  
> As always, thank you so much for the kudos, for the subscriptions, for the bookmarks, for the comments and for reading.

It was the day. It arrived. Dean was awake. He was looking at Cas, only covered by the sheet from his hips down, seeing the uncovered naked part of his body with sadness. Cas looked so calmed when he slept. A sad smile appeared on Dean’s face and he tightened Cas in his arms a little bit more. His graceless angel was extremely beautiful when he slept. Dean understood why Cas liked to watch him sleep. Dean always thought it was creepy, but when he watched Cas sleeping, Dean felt in peace. Maybe he was a bit creepy, but watching Cas sleeping was too perfect. And he wasn’t going to be able to watch him again.

That day was going to be really painful. Dean sighed frustrated. He moved one of his hands to touch Cas’ chest, so he could hear and feel Cas’ heart beating. He was so human in that moment. How could Cas look so beautiful? Dean closed his eyes to feel the beating of Cas’ heart beneath his palm. Then, he opened his eyes and looked again at the man sleeping next to him. He loved so much that graceless angel. He never loved someone as much as Cas. He loved Lisa, but not as much as Cas, with Cas, it was more intense; his heart stopped for a moment when he was with him.

Cas opened his eyes slowly. “Dean—” Cas mumbled.

“Hey.” Dean said. He approached his mouth to Cas and gave him a sweet morning kiss. Cas looked at Dean’s hand when their mouths parted. “I wanted to feel your heart beating.” Dean explained when he saw Cas’ confused face. Cas closed his eyes and nuzzled Dean’s face. Then, he kissed gently Dean’s neck. Dean moaned a little bit; when Cas was really delicate with his neck, Dean felt too good.

Cas went back to Dean’s mouth and kissed him, then he opened his eyes. “I love you.”

Dean’s heart skipped a beat. He was feeling extremely bad in that moment. Knowing that there wasn’t going to be another morning with Cas next to him, killed Dean. “I love you too.” He managed to say after a while. Dean took a deep breath. He was feeling like shit and the day had just started. Everything was going to be really painful that day. “I’m gonna take a shower.”

Dean was about to leave the bed, but Cas grabbed his shoulder. Dean looked at Cas. “Dean, please, stay a little bit more with me.” He said needy.

Dean swallowed. “Cas— I can’t I—” He rubbed his face. He wanted to stay the whole day in the bed with Cas, but it was too painful. Dean sat on the bed and rested his back in the headboard. He looked at the ceiling. Cas raised and sat too; he leaned his chin in Dean’s shoulder and started to stroke Dean’s chest with his hand. In a blink, Dean moved his eyes to see Cas and Dean sighed. “I—”

Cas put his index finger in Dean’s lips. “Just don’t say a word.” He cupped Dean’s face and kissed him, a gentle and passionate kiss. Dean lost in that kiss. He knew that Cas was going to try to make him feel better until the last second. Dean always wondered how Cas could love him. Dean was broken, he was all crap, and Cas still loved him more than anything in the world. Cas knew every single dark part of Dean and he still loved Dean. But the same happened with Dean; he knew all Cas’ crap and he still loved him. They were broken and maybe that was why they always had felt something for each other, because they walked the same road and they found each other there, and then, they walked that road together and they fell in love in that road, that now, it was going to make them took different paths.

“Cas, I— I gotta take a shower.” Dean said in an annoyed tune, pulling away from the kiss really fast. He couldn’t stay there more, it was too painful, every single second reminded him that there wouldn’t be any more moments like that, and Dean couldn’t with that. He got up quickly, trying to hold the tears and the frustration. Cas looked down, feeling sad and devastated. He lay down in bed. He rolled so he lay aside and avoiding facing Dean, who was picking up some clothes. Dean looked at Cas. He shouldn’t have pulled away like that and talked with that annoyed voice. “Cas, sorry it’s just that—”

“Leave and take your stupid shower.” Cas interrupted in an angry tune, although his voice was low.

Dean knew he fucked it up. He took a deep breath. He didn’t want to spend their last day together arguing or feeling angry. Dean left his clothes in the drawer and he got into the bed and hugged Cas, pressing his chest against Cas’ back. “I’ll stay a little bit more.” He said with a soft voice. He kissed Cas’ shoulder. Cas didn’t say anything or didn’t move. Dean caressed Cas’ hips.

“You are an assbutt.” He said pissed off.

“I know.” He kissed Cas’ shoulder again. “I’m sorry.”

Cas took a deep breath. “It’s the first time you apologize for being an assbutt.”

“Yeah.”

There was a silence. They didn’t say anything else. Cas approached a bit more to Dean, who kept caressing him and kissing his shoulder. After some minutes, Cas rolled over, facing Dean, and he kissed him. Then, they hugged each other and caressed slowly, until Cas told Dean that he could go to take that shower; Dean said that he could stay there more, but Cas said that they had to wake up and have breakfast as soon as possible, because after lunch they would have to go. Dean got up from the bed and Cas looked at Dean’s naked body, how gorgeous Dean was when he was all naked. Dean saw how Cas looked at him and winked; Cas made a shy smile. Then, Dean left the bedroom. Usually, they used to take showers together the morning after sex, but not that day. They weren’t in the mood of sex.

 

After lunch, Cas dressed up. That morning he was wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants, and he wanted to change his clothes. He opened the wardrobe and looked for his suit and his trench coat. It had been months since the last time he wore those clothes. A lot of memories came to his mind while he was dressing up. From the first time he met Dean to when he came back to the bunker.

Dean opened the bedroom’s door. “Hey Cas—” Dean started to say, but he didn’t finish the sentence. He looked at Cas who was completely dressed and sitting on the bed, tying his shoelaces. Dean’s heart stopped. Seeing Cas dressed up with the suit, the tie and the trench coat made him feel sad and nostalgic. “It’s been a long time since you last wore that.” He said with a sad smile.

“I know.” Cas said finishing tying the shoelaces. He stood up. “Are you fine with the fact of me wearing these clothes?” He asked worried.

“Yeah. The trench coat is kindda lucky for you. Every time you wore it, you came back.” He caressed the flaps of the trench coat. “I forgot how fucking handsome you look with these clothes.”

Cas looked down and smiled shyly. “Thank you Dean.” His eyes moved to meet Dean’s, which were a bit glassy. 

Dean pressed a wet kiss in Cas’ lips. “C’mon, we’ve gotta go.”

“Dean.” The hunter stopped and looked at Cas, who was going to the table where they left the photos they took in the theme park. Cas took one of them. “Can I take one of these?” He asked shyly.

“Of course Cas, it’s yours.” He said with a smile. Cas dedicated him a thankful smile and saved the photos in one of the inside pockets of his trench coat, the one that touched the place of his heart. Cas sighed and looked at the bedroom with sorrow. Then, he approached Dean and took his hand, so both of them left the room together.

Sam was already waiting for them outside, sitting in the Impala’s hood. He felt crushed when he saw Cas and Dean coming out of the bunker, holding their hands and looking sadder than ever. Sam hated knowing that Cas had to go and even more knowing that his brother had to see how the love of his life left.

They got in the Impala; Dean was the driver, Sam the shotgun and Cas was in the backseat. They had to drive to a cemetery where a fallen angel was buried. The only one they found was in Illinois. The state where Dean met Cas and the place where they would have to say goodbye. They didn’t say anything in the journey, Dean didn’t even play music. Silence remained in the car. It wasn’t an awkward silence, it was a sad one. They didn’t know what to say, the three of them were sad about what they had to do at midnight and nothing would help them to forget that.

After several miles, they stopped to pour gasoline. Sam got into the gas station to buy some food and Cas got out the car and stood next to Dean, who was looking at the hose. Cas looked at the bathrooms and he couldn’t help a smile.

“What’s so funny?” Dean wondered confused.

“I was remembering when we had sex in the amusement park.” Cas said smirking. Dean smirked too. “I don’t know how you convinced me to do that.”

“Because you wanted to.” He said with a cocky voice. “You have your dirty side.”

Cas made a guilty face and sighed. “Time has flown away so fast.”

“Yeah.” Dean raised his eyebrows and made a sad grin. He took away the hose. “But it was a great time.” Cas made a half sad smile as he nodded. Dean went to pay the gasoline and then, when Sam was back, they got back in the Impala and kept driving.

The last hours of the journey were like the first ones; the three of them remained in silence and Dean didn’t play any music. Cas looked through the window, seeing how the landscape moved, blurring the colors. Then, he looked at the Winchester brothers. They were their family. Cas was in heaven for millions of years, but he never felt home, but with Sam and Dean, he felt home. Those two extraordinary boys that regardless, they always accepted Cas and helped him. Cas was scared of what would happen once he was in heaven. The sooner the time to leave was, the scarier Cas got. He wasn’t sure if there would be a way out, if he would make it back to Dean one more time. He would spend every single second of his existence trying to get out of there, but he was afraid of doing it too late or not being able to do it. But he made a promise to Dean, he would come back to his love.

A couple of hours later, they arrived to the cemetery. Sam and Dean started to dig in to find the fallen angel’s tomb; meanwhile Cas was standing there, looking at them. Midnight would arrive in something more than an hour. He didn’t want midnight to come. Creeps started to run Cas’ body. He had known for three weeks that day would finally come, but it seemed quite far, and now, he was there, in the cemetery and in several minutes, he would be gone. It seemed like an awful nightmare.  
Dean and Sam opened the tomb and took a bone. They needed that for the spell. Sam mixed the rest of the ingredients a week ago, the only thing left was that bone and Cas’ blood, but that was the last thing they needed to put.

“I think I’ll leave you two alone until it’s almost midnight.” Sam said going with the bone to the Impala, which was parked outside the cemetery.

Dean was sitting on the ground and Cas sat next to him. “How are you feeling?” Dean asked.

“Extremely bad.” Cas answered in a deep breath. He was feeling terrified, but he didn’t want Dean to know that. Dean rested his head in Cas’ shoulder and Cas rested his head above Dean’s. “Is it normal in human world to spend a night together in cemetery?” Cas asked.

Dean couldn’t help a smile. His innocent Cas, how much he was going to miss him; always trying to make Dean feel a little bit better. “No Cas, it’s not.” He said with a big smile. “But we aren’t normal.”

“I like that.”

“What?”

“That we aren’t normal.” His face drew a shy smile.

They didn’t say anything else. They didn’t know what else to say. Everything was painful, so the best thing to spent their last minutes together was in that comfortable silence, feeling the warmth of their bodies. Dean took Cas’ warm hand and held it, tangling their fingers for one more time. The moon was beautiful and so were the stars too. It was a shame that the night had to end up in the way it was going to end up.

Sam arrived some minutes before midnight. Cas and Dean stood up and looked at Sam, who was carrying a bowl with all the mixed ingredients and the bone. He put it on the ground and looked at Cas.

“I’m going to miss you Cas.” Sam said with a sad face.

Cas approached Sam and hugged him. “I’m going to miss you too Sam.” Cas said with a sad voice. 

Sam hugged him. “Take care.”

“And you too.” Cas was finding hard to say goodbye to his friend. “And take care of Dean.” He whispered really low.

“I will.” He whispered.

Cas pulled away and made a sad smile to his tall friend. Then, he looked at Dean, whose eyes were too glassy and approached Dean. His legs were trembling and his heart started to hurt in a painful way. Dean grabbed the flaps of Cas’ trench coat and kissed Cas, who cupped Dean’s face. It was a sad kiss, but it was full of passion. They wanted to kiss as if they wanted to take all their oxygen in their bodies. They needed that last kiss. Sam watched them sadly; he knew that they weren’t going to do that in a long time if they were lucky. If they weren’t, they weren’t going to have the chance to do it again.

“I love you.” Dean said breathy after parting their lips, although they were still touching.

“I love you.” Cas said with a broken voice.

Dean closed his eyes and leaned his forehead in Cas’. He wanted that to be a nightmare where he could wake up, but he couldn’t. He placed his hands in Cas’ face, cupping it and he opened his eyes, which were holding tears and stared at Cas’ eyes, those blue and beautiful eyes, so glassy because Cas was holding his tears too. Dean took a deep breath. He didn’t want to let his angel go. He wasn’t ready for that.

“Dean, Cas.” Sam said with a broken voice. But neither of them seemed to care. They wanted to stay there forever, but they couldn’t.

Dean pulled away and hold Cas’ hand and walked towards Sam. Every single step was too hard. They felt how the world fell in their shoulders and how their heart broke in million pieces as they approached Sam. Dean took the knife and looked at Cas, who nodded. The time had come and they couldn’t do anything to stop it.

“This is going to hurt you a bit.” Dean warned taking Cas’ hand.  
“What’s a little more pain?” Cas said brokenly. Dean’s heart broke with that. 

He cut Cas’ palm. Cas made an annoyed face. The blood started to fall in the bowl. Dean took away Cas’ hand and looked at his brother who said some enochian words. A tenuous blue light appeared in the bowl and disappeared in seconds, then, suddenly, they saw golden lights going up from Earth to the sky really quick, lighting up the sky. They could see hundreds of them going back to heaven. Dean and Cas looked at each other, Cas’ face was covered with tears and Dean’s tears were starting to fall down. Cas ran to Dean and kissed him again, sadly and frustrated. Dean was feeling really bad, he felt suffocated because that was their last seconds together. Dean felt how his soul ripped. Cas parted his lips and made a sob. Dean’s face was sadder than ever, it showed his pain. Cas started to feel how he was starting to float; he was the last one left and he was going to heaven. Dean and Sam raised his heads to see how Cas was flying. Dean raised his hand to touch Cas’ for one last time. Cas looked perfect surrounded by that golden light. His Cas, his love, he was leaving, he was going to be locked in heaven and Dean was sure as hell that they won’t see each other again.

“I will come back, Dean. I promise you.” Cas said trying to look strong, although he was still crying.

Dean opened his mouth. He was speechless. Pain didn’t let him spoke. Tears were soaking his face, but he looked at Cas, floating even higher and slowly, but they were still holding their hands. But that didn’t last long, quickly, Cas ascended fast and their hands separated. Dean looked how Cas was just a golden light that disappeared in the night sky. Cas was gone.  
Dean closed his eyes and lowered his arm. He took a long breath and opened his eyes. He felt like his heart and his soul were gone, as if they were ripped from him. He felt empty. He was devastated and broken.

Sam approached his brother and put his hand in Dean’s shoulder. Sam was crying too. “He will be back, Dean.” Sam said breathy.

“No, he won’t.” Dean said in a broken low voice, looking at his brother.

For the first time, Dean hugged Sam and buried his face in his little brother’s shoulder. Dean was always the one who stood strongly, who kept his feelings to himself, but that night, Dean was more broken than ever; he had to say goodbye to the biggest love of his life. Sam embraced Dean and held him tightly, crying with his brother too. They saved the world one more time, and once again, they paid a high price, but this time, Dean was the one who paid more than ever. Sam and Dean wanted to believe that Cas would come back, but they were aware that there weren’t too many chances. They would have to carry on, like they always did.


	32. Chapter 32

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is, the last chapter, I'm sad becuase it is the end and I really enjoyed writing this fic. Anyway, enjoy it.

December arrived a few weeks ago. Cas was gone for more than two years and Dean, wasn’t still used to that. Every single morning, when he woke up, he wished that Cas was sleeping next to him, or watching him sleeping, but he wasn’t. Cas’ side was empty, and the mattress with the memory foam still remembered the shape of Cas despite of all the time that passed since Cas slept in that side for the last time. Dean hated how cold and empty his bed was. He usually stroked the side of the bed where Cas slept. The whole bedroom reminded him of Cas. In the wardrobe there were Cas’ clothes, jeans, pants, jumpers, jackets, t-shirts, shirts, that awesome synthetic leather jacket and that horrible sweater. Dean liked sometimes to touch those clothes; a few of them still had a small remaining of Cas’ smell, like cotton and woods, so nice. And every time he caressed those clothes, tears appeared on his eyes, but he held them. He took a deep breath and tried to think about anything else.

Since angels got back to heaven, chases decided to be back. There were about vampires, werewolves, ghosts, wendigos and all that kind of things. Also demons appeared again, although Crowley and Abaddon still were missing. That helped Dean to get Cas out of his mind for a bit, but not much. It was great to get back in the job and to blow off steam, but it wasn’t enough. Dean started drinking again. Sam caught him drinking several times and he tried to get Dean rid of that, it was hard, but after more than one year, Dean started drinking less. Sam forced him to do it after one night he found Dean on the floor really bad, they had to go to the hospital, and Sam told him a lot of things that made Dean to reconsider drinking. He needed to get drunk some nights, when he couldn’t sleep because the pain and loneliness he felt were too strong. He still drank some nights until he fell completely asleep, but he didn’t do it usually; Sam got really worried about him and tried to make Dean drink less. He dropped Dean a talk that kind of touched him when he found it again drinking one night, so Dean now only drank a couple of beers or a glass of whiskey in those lonely nights. He thanked Sam to make him drink less. The last thing he needed is to fuck things up with Sam, who was always talking care about him since Cas went back to heaven.

Dean liked to see the set of photos that he and Cas took in the amusement park. He loved every single photo from the set. They were so happy that day. He could remember the sound of Cas’ laughter, his smile, his voice, his kisses, and he missed all of that and more. He wanted to see him again, to kiss him again, to hug him again, to talk to him again, to fuck him again, to hear him again, to touch him again, to make him laugh again... He didn’t even know if Cas was alive, angels could have killed him when they saw him. Dean wished that Cas was alive. Dean prayed to Cas most of the nights, telling him how much he missed him, or what he did that day, or just praying to him as if Cas was laying in the bed with him, and he always ended up his prayers with one I love you. If Cas was still alive, he wanted Cas to listen to him, not to forget his voice.

Most of the nights that Dean went to bed, he closed his eyes and tried to imagine that Cas was there. Just for some minutes, and he felt quite happy, but sadness came back to him when he opened his eyes and saw that he was all alone in his bed. He felt so empty and alone. Sam was being great with Dean, trying to make him feel better, something that Dean really appreciated, because if it wasn’t for Sam, Dean would have gone into depression, but Sam couldn’t fill the whole empty space that Cas left, but at least, Dean still had his little brother, taking care of him.

Some afternoons, Dean liked to listen to his records, trying to find a bit of happiness in them, but memories appeared in his mind with every song. When he listened Led Zeppelin, he remembered how he and Cas sang those songs along in the Impala. Cas and Dean sang really loud and they laughed because they were having a great time. Dean missed those little things a lot. He tried to listen any other record, but the lyrics sometimes reminded him of Cas. One afternoon he found a Glen Miller record and he remembered when he danced with Cas and how Cas wanted to slow dance with him because he really liked it. That memory made him cry a lot.

The greenhouse was beautiful. Sam and Dean took care of it. They wished that Cas could see how awesome it was. Dean sometimes liked to go there, because he remembered Cas, although it made him feel sad, but there were times where he could see how Cas worked in the plants, dedicating a big smile to Dean, approaching Dean to give him a sweet kiss. It was Dean’s imagination, of course, but Dean liked to do that kind of things. Pretending for some moments that he wasn’t imagining it, that Cas was still there. It made him feel a little bit less sad for some moments.

Dean was all the time sad, some days he could smile, but the rest of the time, he was really sad. He wanted Cas back, he needed Cas, and being in a place where he and Cas spent few months together, didn’t help. Every single part of the bunker had a footprint and it was full of memories, but Dean had to carry on and try to feel less sad.

That day, Dean decided to drive with the Impala and stay in the late afternoon and a big part of the night too, watching the landscape, sitting in the Impala’s hood. It wasn’t the first time Dean did it. It relaxed him a bit, it made him feel a little bit better. Sam liked that his brother did that instead of drinking. Dean needed to be alone and try to not think about anything, although it was hard.

It was late afternoon. It was snowing slightly, just a few snowflakes fell and they were accumulating very slowly on the floor and on the leafless branches of the tress, painting the landscape in white. Snowflakes were falling on Dean, but they melted in his face, but they remained in his clothes and in his hair for a bit. Cas would have loved seeing that. Dean looked up and saw how the snow fell. He closed his eyes to feel the snowflakes falling and melting in his face. He really liked snow. He was sure that Cas liked it too.

Dean couldn’t get Cas out of his thoughts. He loved him more than anything. Two years passed and he still had all those feelings for Cas. He was sure he would feel all of that forever. He wasn’t going to see Cas again and he wasn’t going to forget him. Cas always made him a better person, he always tried to make him happy, no mattered what. When he was with Cas, Dean didn’t have to pretend, he was just himself and Cas accepted him like nobody else ever did. Cas always made him feel worth, despite of Dean thinking that he was crap, but Cas never thought that. He missed Cas a lot. He would give anything just to look one more time at those awesome blue eyes, to get lost in them. It would be great to do that again.

Dean sighed and a mist appeared; it was pretty cold, but he was wearing three thick layers of clothes and he was quite warm. He closed his eyes an imagined that Cas was sitting in the hood with him. He imagined how warm Cas’ body was, he was wearing that awful sweater because it was really warm, but Cas came closer to Dean because he wanted to feel Dean’s warmth. He imagined that they tangled their fingers and that Cas nuzzled his neck. He could even imagine Cas’ smell, like cotton and woods. The smell was becoming stronger and Dean enjoyed that. He let his imagination to go on, and felt how Cas stood up to face him; Cas cupped his face and then, he gave him a sweet kiss. It felt so real. It was as if Cas was right there, cupping his face and kissing him. Dean hoped that nobody else was there, because he was moving his mouth, as if he was kissing Cas, and he had to look really weird to do those movements with his mouth all by himself. His imagination never made him feel that Cas was really there; Dean was surprised by the power of his imagination that day. The kiss stopped and Dean opened his eyes slowly.

“Hello Dean.” Cas said with a huge smile.

Dean stood up from the hood of the Impala shocked and he opened his eyes widely. He looked at Cas, from the head to the bottom, and then, from the bottom to the head. Dean opened his mouth. There were a lot of feeling inside him, surprise, confusion, doubt, hope, happiness, fear and a lot of more things. “Am I dreaming?” Dean managed to say. He cupped with one of his hands Cas’ face, and Cas touched Dean’s hand.

“No my love, you aren’t dreaming.” His smile was extremely sweet. Dean cupped with his other hand Cas’ face and stoked it with his thumb. Cas was real, he wasn’t imagining him, Cas was there, in front of him. Dean couldn’t believe it; he had to be dead or dreaming, because it couldn’t be true.

“This has to be a dream, or I am dead.” He said bewildered.

Cas made a shy smile. “You aren’t dreaming. You aren’t dead.” Dean’s eyes were glassy. Cas was standing there. He was seeing him and touching him. “I told you I would make it back to you.” His face overflew happiness.

His Cas, his love, he was there. Dean had his mouth opened and started to smile. Cas came back to him one more time. “Holy fuck, you came back!” Dean said with a huge smile. Then, he approached Cas’ mouth and kissed him in a passionate and happy way. Cas placed his hands in Dean’s hair; he missed running his fingers along it. “You are back, Cas, you came back to me. You are here, you are real.” He said with happiness; it had been years since the last time he felt that happy.

Cas was smiling widely. Soon, tears started to fall from Dean’s eyes. “Dean, why are you crying?” He asked really worried.

“Because I’m so fucking happy.” He said with a huge smile and kissed Cas again. He felt Cas’ body against him, feeling his warmth. He ran his fingers through Cas’ messy dark hair desperately, he needed to touch him, to feel him. “Now you are crying too.” Dean observed when they pulled their mouths away.

Cas let out a small laugh. “Yes, I am.” He removed his tears and then, Dean’s. Later, he caressed Dean’s face. “I am here with you.” He said giggling. “I’m back to you.” He kissed Dean again. They couldn’t believe that they were together again, that they were kissing and touching.

Dean looked at Cas when they were no longer kissing. Snowflakes were melting in his face and staying for a while in his hair and in his clothes. He looked more than beautiful. “My love.” Dean said with a sweet smile. “Shit, I can’t still believe that you are here.”

“Me neither. But we are together again.” Cas nuzzled Dean’s nose, tickling Dean.

“Yeah, we are.” Dean kissed Cas again. He couldn’t stop kissing Cas, he needed to kiss him as much as he could, to know that it was real. This time that kiss was with tongue, so they had to open their mouths to ease the movements of their tongues and their tongues started swirling together.

“I missed these kisses.” Cas confessed with a little moan, with his eyes half-closed.

“Yeah, me too.” They kissed again in the same dirty way. “Hey, Cas.” Dean said stopping the kiss.

“Yes?” He said with a soft voice.

“How about we have sex in the Impala?” He suggested raising his eyebrows. He needed to feel Cas during sex. It had been a long time since he felt Cas like that.

Cas made a huge smirk. “Yes, please.”

Dean held one of Cas’ hands and both smiled. They missed those simple things like holding hands, to tangle their fingers together. Dean pulled Cas to the back door of the Impala. He kissed him again, pressing Cas’ back against the car. It felt great to kiss Cas after a long time. Dean opened the door and Cas got inside, he lay down in the backseat as Dean closed the door and lay above him. Cas bit his lip and grabbed Dean’s jacket, approaching Dean to his lips. He gave him a fiercely kiss. Cas missed Dean’s mouth, how warm and wet it was. He placed his hands in Dean’s nape while he pushed his tongue inside Dean’s mouth. Their jaws were colliding and their noses were a bit squeezed, but they didn’t care. They were kissing and all those feeling were blooming like they did before Cas got back to heaven.

They started to take off their clothes. It was a bit difficult to move in the backseat, but they weren’t searching for comfort, they just wanted to feel each other, to fuck. Cas took his trench coat off after sitting down and making some complicate movements while Dean took off his jacket. Cas was sitting and Dean was kneeling in the backseat, with Cas’ legs between his. Dean grabbed Cas’ tie and brought Cas closer, who made a funny noise, then, he was kissed by Dean, who took off Cas’ black suit jacket. Then, when they stopped kissing, Dean took off his boots and socks and Cas’ shoes and socks. When Dean was done, Cas grabbed his face and kissed him in a dirty way that Dean enjoyed too much. Cas took off Dean’s shirt and he caressed Dean’s arms, feeling the hot skin beneath his fingertips. Dean pushed down Cas, so Cas was again laying down. Dean untied the blue tie and unbuttoned Cas’ shirt. Dean looked at Cas’ naked chest and stroked it with one hand. Cas took off the shirt and then, Dean dropped himself to Cas’ neck, to suck it, lick it and bite it. Cas closed his eyes and moaned softly. He forgot how gently and fiercely Dean’s mouth was. His neck was getting red, warm and wet. Cas buried his fingers in Dean’s hair and shuddered. Then, Dean pulled away and let Cas to take off his t-shirt. Cas bit and sucked his neck in a sweet way that Dean had to let out a low moan and then he made a smile. Cas pulled his mouth away and took off Dean’s jeans quickly and his boxers. Dean did the same with Cas’ pants and boxers.

They were completely naked. They looked at each other’s naked bodies, lightened up by the sundown. They forgot how beautiful they were naked. Cas stared at Dean, who looked perfect; he smiled widely. Dean looked at Cas, he missed seeing Cas naked with all that purity and perfection. Dean threw himself to Cas’ mouth and kissed Cas fiercely. Cas placed one of his hands in the end of Dean’s hair, almost in the nape and his other hand in Dean’s back. Dean moved his mouth directly to Cas’ nipple; he nibbled it, licked it and sucked it. Cas got hard with that. He loved the touch of Dean’s tongue in his nipple, how it swirled and the delicate touch of Dean’s teeth biting his nipple. It felt extremely great, more than he remembered.  
Dean was already hard, so he went back to Cas’ mouth to press a short but wet kiss. Cas embraced Dean’s hips with his legs and then, Dean got inside Cas. How much they missed that. Cas moaned with satisfaction when he felt Dean’s cock inside him. He felt complete once again. Dean’s cock was extremely warm and wet, Cas loved how it felt to have Dean inside him, how Dean’s cock moved inside him. Cas’ spine arched.

“Dean! Oh Dean—!” Cas moaned with his eyes closed.

Cas was tightening Dean’s hair and nailing Dean’s back. Dean was kissing now his neck, shaking his hips to fuck Cas. Dean couldn’t believe he was inside Cas for one more time, he thought he was never going to be able to do that again. He felt Cas’ body behind his, the warmth that released, and he was feeling Cas in his cock, that wonderful feeling that he had missed for years. They were so happy that they were fucking. Dean kept shaking his body and looked at Cas’ face to see his pleasure faces. Cas was making a low moan and enjoying how Dean fucked him.

After a while Cas raised himself, sitting on the back seat, and so Dean was. Cas embraced Dean’s neck and kissed him passionately. Dean placed his hands in Cas’ blades and spread his legs. Cas pushed him against the door, and then, his cock got inside Dean, who let out a moan. Cas was inside him, filling his emptiness in a warm and wet way, like always. It was awesome to have Cas inside him, he missed a lot that, it was beyond pleasure. His back and neck arched when Cas’ cock moved in and out of him. Dean nailed his fingers in Cas’ blades and closed his eyes, feeling great. Cas fucked him a bit harder and his cock got beyond the sensitive part.

“CAS—! CAS—!” Dean moaned really loud.

Cas kissed Dean’s neck while he fucked him. He almost forgot how great was to be inside Dean, hearing Dean moan his name really loud, feeling him beneath his body. Dean was shuddering because of Cas’ cock. Dean had been waiting to feel Cas inside him again for a long time. He let out a moan. Cas missed hearing Dean making those noises. Dean’s whole body was feeling Cas, how he fucked him, how he touched him. He was feeling rapt, because Cas was there again with him and he was fucking him, touching him, making him feel more alive than ever.

Dean pushed Cas against the other door after some minutes. He approached Cas and kissed him in a really dirty way that turned Cas on even more. Dean took Cas’ legs and fucked Cas again. Cas parted his mouth to moan, Dean was fucking him really hard and he loved it. Cas tightened Dean’s hair. The pleasure was too high. Then, Dean’s cock went beyond the sensitive part and Cas felt a lot of pleasure; his whole body shook and his back arched.

“DEAN—! DEAN—! DEAN—!” Cas moaned extremely loud.

Dean smirked; he loved hearing Cas moan his name that loud. He bit Cas’ earlobe as he fucked Cas, whose body was now surrendered to Dean. Cas hadn’t felt that alive and good in a long time; having Dean inside him was perfect, was extraordinary. Cas’ shook again, he made a loud moan and shuddered when Dean’s cock touched the part beyond the sensitive zone and made another loud orgasm again with Dean’s name on it. He missed saying that name in moans.

Later, Cas rolled over, so Dean was laying down in the back seat and he was above Dean. Cas needed to come soon, but he needed to be inside Dean once again. Cas kissed Dean and let his tongue to meet Dean’s as he was grabbing Dean’s legs. Dean embraced with them Cas’ hips, without stopping playing with Cas’ tongue, until Cas started to fuck him and Dean moaned. Cas rocked his body above Dean, getting his cock inside him. Dean ran his fingers through the messy hair of Cas.

“Cas—! Oh fuck, Cas—!” Dean moaned.

Cas searched Dean’s hands and they tangled their fingers while Cas kept fucking Dean, who had his eyes closed; he bit his lip between moans, enjoying Cas’ cock inside him and tightening Cas’ hands with his. That felt extremely good, he loved how Cas’ cock was shaking inside him, how it touched him inside. He made and orgasm with Cas’ name again when Cas fucked him a little bit harder, feeling too good and coming. Few moments later, Cas let out an orgasm too, coming inside Dean.

Dean let out a small whine when Cas wasn’t inside him anymore. Cas kissed him shortly. They were fatigued; they were covered in sweat and with cum, their hearts were beating quite fast and also, they were panting, but they didn’t care, because they had fucked and they felt extremely great. Cas rested his chin in Dean’s shoulder and placed his hand in one of Dean’s nipples. Dean embraced Cas by his back with one of his arms and kissed Cas. He still couldn’t believe that Cas was there.

“I can’t still believe that you are here.” Dean said when his breathing was normal.

Cas made a smile and started to made circles with his finger in Dean’s nipple. “I am here with you.” Cas said with a lovely voice. He kissed Dean’s neck.

Dean made a smile. “I have missed you a lot.” He nuzzled Cas’ hair. “I was so empty without you Cas.” Dean felt like he needed to tell Cas a lot of things. He always hated talking about his feelings, but not in that moment, because he was with Cas.

“I was empty without you too, Dean.” His voice was nostalgic.

“And I missed you being inside me and me being inside you.”

Cas looked up to see Dean’s beautiful green eyes. When Dean was happy, his eyes looked even more beautiful than usually. “Me too. I felt too good when you are inside me or when I’m inside you.” His smile got wider. They kissed again.

“Fuck, you are here.” Dean was really happy. He stroked Cas’ back.

“Yes. It’s been hard, but I’m here again.” He squeezed his body against Dean; he wanted to feel Dean’s body with his. “Sorry it took me so long.”

“I thought that you weren’t going to come back.” He started to say with a bit of pain. “I thought you were dead or—”

“I know. I listened to your prayers.”

“You did?”

Cas nodded. “I loved hearing you, although you were extremely sad.” He made a sad grimace and sighed. “But now you are happy again.” He nuzzled Dean’s neck.

“How did you make it back?” He wondered curious.

“It’s been really hard. After some angels killed Metatron, then, there were some other angels that wanted to kill me, I ended up in heaven’s prison for a while, but after some long time, they freed me, so I could focus on coming back to you, and I found that if my grace was taken again, I could go back to earth.” He explained. He didn’t want to tell many details, it was really hard for Cas to come back to Dean. There were a few times that he thought that he wasn’t going to make it, but that didn’t matter, because he was back with Dean. “That reminds me something.” Cas said raising. Dean looked at him confused. Cas was looking for the trench coat. He picked it and started to look inside the pockets. “No, here are the photos.”

“You still have them?” Dean asked.

“Of course.” Cas answered. “I liked to see them when I felt tired or sad, it gave me strengths.” He said with a shy smile. Dean caressed Cas’ hip and Cas let out a low moan. He loved how Dean touched him. Two years without Dean’s touch was too long. He was craving every single day to feel a small touch of Dean, and finally, Cas had it back. “Here it is.” He said when he found a necklace of a glass filled with some blue light. “I want you to have it.” He said offering it to Dean.

“Wait, this is your grace?” Dean said taking it and looking at it.

“Yes. I want you to have it. I don’t care if you wear it or if you save it in a drawer, but I want you to have it.” Cas explained laying above Dean.

“So you are completely human again?” He asked. 

Cas nodded. “I’m not an angel anymore. But I don’t care, because that means that I will grow old with you. And that’s worth millions of graces.”

Dean looked at Cas as if he was falling in love with him again. Cas resigned being an angel for Dean, because he wanted to grow old with Dean, to spend their lives together. Dean couldn’t help thinking how cheesy Cas’ words were, but holy shit, Cas had given up his mojo to live a human life with Dean, and that’s fucking awesome.

“I love you.” Dean said.

“I love you too.” Cas said and he kissed him.

“I’ll save it in one of my pockets. I'll carry it as a necklace.” Dean picked his jeans and saved it. Then, he took the trench coat and covered both of them. Cas cuddled Dean.

“It’s great to be back in your arms.” He said with a pretty smile.

“Yeah.” Dean kissed Cas. “Let’s sleep Cas. We deserve it.” He said closing his eyes.

Cas closed his eyes too. “I love you so much Dean.” He needed to say it. It had been too much time since he told Dean that he loved him, and Cas needed to say it over and over again.

“I love you so much too Cas.”

It wasn’t the most comfortable place to fall asleep, but they didn’t care. They were together again, with their legs tangled, cuddling, feeling each other. They thought that they weren’t going to do that ever again, but Cas made it back to Dean, as always, and now, they were naked, covered by Cas’ trench coat, sleeping together, under the roof of the Impala, hearing how the snow fell. After everything, they were together again. Cas kept his promise, and Dean and him were happily together, and nothing was going to separate them again. For the first time in their lives, something happy and good happened to them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, at first I wanted to keep Castiel in heaven, but I said fuck everything, I want my OTP together and living happily, I have enough suffereing with Supernatural.
> 
> I want to thank everyone who has read my fic; thanks to everyone who read the first chapter and kept reading, no matter when you started, just thank you so much. Of course, thank you much for all the kudos, the subscriptions, the bookmarks and the comments, you made my day when I saw all of that. And of course thank you to Carol and Andie for reading my fic.  
> My biggest thank you to all that people who read this story and liked it or loved it, how has suffered and has enjoyed reading this as muchs as I did writing it.


End file.
